The best way to stay away from family is to treat children as outsiders, and husband and wife are relatives. Think about whether you have a certain sense of boundaries when dealing with outsiders and whether you will listen to each other's feelings and reasons. Treat children with this attitude. Look at his world from their point of view and understand his thoughts and motives from behind his actions. Only in this way can we go deep into his heart, establish a truly communicative relationship, and really guide and help him. Please remember that the purpose of our education is not to let others see how well we do, how good our children are and how obedient they are. The purpose of cultivating a child is to enable him to know himself and others, and to handle all kinds of people and things in life independently.
PUA has a strong desire for control. He needs to know everything in your life. Even if you are not young, they always take care of you like a child and help you arrange a lot of things. This is handed down from generation to generation. In other words, that's how parents treat themselves. Naturally, they learn to cultivate the next generation in this way, which is related to China culture. However, in the past generation, great progress has been made. For example, most of them are free love. Moreover, more and more people realize that this kind of parenting is not suitable, and believe that there will be greater progress in the future.
In PUA, there is a way to make another person feel inferior and be tamed. China's parents have a similar education, called looking after other people's children. They seem to be fascinated by the spell. All kinds of accusations and judgments, especially the comparison between parents, will make children feel unsafe. The suggestive effect of psychology tells us that parents' negation, attack and criticism will give children negative psychological hints, which will turn into children's inner critical voice and form a strong anti-self consciousness. They will get used to self-criticism and denial and feel that they are nothing. Even if the critic no longer exists as an adult, this critical attitude will always remain in my heart and I will often scold myself for a long time.