A sketch. Crosstalk problem

1. Name: Rank of Five Tiger Generals in Shu.

Characters: Liu Bei, Zhuge Liang, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Zhao Yun, Ma Chao and Huang Zhong.

Scene: Office of Hanzhong Land Unlimited Company

[Office, a sign on the wall: Hanzhong Land Co., Ltd..

[Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang are playing poker.

[Narrator: In the troubled times of the Three Kingdoms, Liu Bei finally won the treasure land of Hanzhong, so he opened a Hanzhong Land Unlimited Company.

Liu Bei (to the audience): Liu Bei, the charming Hanzhong king, is me.

Zhuge Liang (to the audience): I am the innocent and lovely secretary Kong Ming!

Liu Bei: I said piggy, now our Hanzhong Land Unlimited Company has a good performance. Today, we bought N square meters of land and made great contributions!

Zhuge Liang: Mm-hmm.

Liu Bei: Who has made the greatest contribution? ...

Zhuge Liang: Not me. ...

Liu Bei: How presumptuous! You still respect the leader!

Zhuge Liang: Hey! I thought you advocated telling the truth. You didn't see that Trav?

Liu Bei: Shit! We are now in the Three Kingdoms era, where can we tell the truth! In my opinion, I am still the most powerful! Ah! How great I am! I adore myself!

Zhuge Liang: Master, is there a plastic bag?

Liu Bei: Why?

Zhuge Liang: Mom said, don't spit everywhere. ...

Liu Bei: $&; & amp% & amp% & amp$$……

Zhuge Liang: I said, it's still hard for our soldiers. My admiration for them is like a surging river. ...

Liu Bei: Oh? what do you think?

Zhuge Liang: I think five generals should be selected from the soldiers who have made meritorious service. As experts with outstanding contributions, they should enjoy the treatment of the Communist Party of China, special allowances, free medical care, big houses and so on. ...

Liu Bei: Save it! I haven't got this treatment yet!

Zhuge Liang: No, Princess, oh no! Master, of course, you are in power as the head of the Five Tigers!

Liu Bei: Impossible! I have all these things!

Zhuge Liang: So, what do you want?

Liu Bei (shyly): I want ... a full set of Barbie dolls ...

Zhuge Liang: (Fall)

[Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang are playing guessing games.

Huang Zhong: (on stage, knocking at the door) Bang bang!

Liu Bei: Come in!

Huang Zhong: (crying) Master! I beg you to pull! My 70-year-old man! I will be helpless all my life! I'm not easy! I'll pull with you! I am getting old! I ... 55555 ...

Liu Bei: Old comrades, if you have any questions, just say so. Serving the people is my working principle.

Huang Zhong: 555 ... Master! My life is really hard! I am old, with high blood pressure, high fat, high protein and high blood sugar. My grandfather 1 died. When I was 3 years old, my grandmother ran away with the tofu seller next door. At the age of 5, my father got married with a washing machine. When I was 7 years old, my mother fell in love with a straw seller ... 555 ... I don't want to live!

Zhuge Liang: I am very touched. ...

Huang Zhong: Yes! My life experience is so tragic!

Zhuge Liang: Don't pull! Why don't you close the door? The wind blew in. I feel extremely cold! Would you please close the door?

Huang Zhong: # $ #% * & $...555 ... I can't live! (knocking on the wall)

Liu Bei: Don't worry, Lao Huang. Ask the leader if you have any questions. Say! I support you!

Huang Zhong: 555 ... Master! I just want an old-age insurance! I heard that you are going to select five tigers and generals. Don't leave me!

Liu Bei: Oh, oh, ah, um, hoo, oh, yeah. ...

Huang Zhong: (affectionate) Master ~ ~ ~ Male ~ ~

Liu Bei: Don't look at me like that …

Huang Zhong: (affectionate) Master ~ ~ ~ Male ~ ~

Liu Bei: No. ...

Huang Zhong: Master, you are the sun in my heart ... you are the moon in my heart ...

Liu Bei: OK, OK, I'm afraid of you ... piggy. ...

Zhuge Liang: Ye Si?

Liu Bei: With Huang Zhongci as one of the generals of the Five Tigers, our group should establish an image of respecting the elderly.

Huang Zhong: 555 ... Master! I admire you so much! Let me kiss you! Bo.

Liu Bei: Help! ! !

(3)

Ma Chao: (Go on stage, take out the water bottle, water your eyes, then soak the towel, put it away and get ready to knock) Knock, knock, knock. ...

Liu Bei: Ma Chao has passed!

Ma Chao: Huh? My master called me?

Zhuge Liang: No! Don't let Ma Chao pass!

Ma Chao: Huh? The strategist won't let me pass?

Liu Bei: Ma Chao has passed!

Zhuge Liang: No, don't let Ma Chao pass!

Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang:%&$%&$ # $ ...

Ma Chao: Huh? What the hell should we do? (slamming the door) What are you doing!

Liu Bei: Hey! Pony! Did I let you in? How rude! Don't interfere with our horse racing!

Ma Chao: Sai-Ma-

Zhuge Liang: (Shouting) Ouch! Horse, pass the ball!

Liu Bei: Ha ha ha! I told you, mom, I'm sure I'll pass

Ma Chao: $&$ * #! #……

Liu Bei: By the way, Ma, are you having an affair?

Ma Chao: No affair.

Zhuge Liang: Then let's go.

Ma Chao: But I have something. ...

Liu Bei: Let's talk about it another day. I'm not available! Kongming, come on, lie down and let me sleep. ...

Ma Chao: Master! (crying) How can you not consider me when you choose Five Tigers and Jiang?

Zhuge Liang: You? During the war, he underestimated the enemy's trade, was ambushed by the enemy, and lost his lieutenant Ulan. You have committed a terrible crime! Amen!

Ma Chao: (crying) Master! At that time, my father Marten worked with your family in Xian Di, and also worshipped the traverse to the child. Have you forgotten all these things? Now that you have forgotten me, how can you live up to my father's spirit in heaven? (Take out the towel to wipe your tears, then twist the towel, and the water rushes)

Zhuge Liang: Wow! You cry worse than your master!

Ma Chao: (crying) Master! You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the knife, I am the melon, you are the car, I am the horn, you don't love me, I commit suicide. ...

Zhuge Liang: "You are crazy, he is a fool" ... you are right!

Liu Bei: (to Zhuge Liang) Quit smoking! (To Ma Chao) Good boy, although you are wrong, you should have been dismissed administratively long ago, but in view of your good attitude towards admitting your mistakes, I will still take care of you.

Ma Chao: Really?

Liu Bei: Really.

Ma Chao: Are you sure?

Liu Bei: Sure.

Ma Chao: Really.

Liu Bei: Don't talk nonsense!

Ma Chao: (takes out his mobile phone) Hello? 3 15 hotline? What? Is it true what your master said? (Put away the phone) Thank you, Master! (Singing) The sun shines in the sky, and the flowers smile at me ... (Running down)

Liu Bei: @ # $%&; *……

[Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang continue the game.

Liu Bei: (high-five) You clap one, I clap one, and we all laugh;

Zhuge Liang: (high-five) You clap two, I clap two, and your name is Big Ear. ...

Zhao Yun: (On the stage, I was about to knock on the door when I suddenly stopped, looked in the mirror, combed my hair and sprayed perfume into my mouth; Knock knock, learn Beethoven's Symphony of Destiny) Bang Bang! Bang bang bang! Bang bang bang!

Liu Bei: I hate pulling! Always disturb the leadership work when others are busy ... these people will definitely have no hope of traveling at public expense next month!

Zhuge Liang: Your Majesty is wise! I can go alone.

Liu Bei: Who's outside?

Zhao Yun: (imitating a woman's voice) It's me, Xiao Zhao!

Liu Bei: (happy) Wow! It's my lover in kindergarten-Yue Zhao, it must be! ~ Wait, I'm coming! (packing up and walking to the door) Oh! My sweetheart, pigeon, baby, baby, baby ... (opens the door)

Zhao Yun: Hey, hey ... Master!

Liu Bei: (shocked, then angry) Little ... little bastard! Go away! (struggling to close the door)

Zhao Yun: (holding up) Master, I have something to ask you.

Liu Bei: It's definitely not good to find me!

Zhuge Liang: Exactly! Last time he told our master that there was a club, and there were many clubs. As a result, our master was beaten by a group of old ladies there ... It was obviously a nursing home!

Zhao Yun: It was a misunderstanding. Three years, seven months and eight days ago, this was a PPMM club!

Liu Bei: I don't care! How humiliating I am! You know exactly how popular I am with women.

Zhao Yun: Yes! Pig arch for thousands of years, unify the rivers and lakes!

Liu Bei: (angry) It's the master!

Zhao Yun: Do you blame me? Blame the white handwriting written by the screenwriter!

Liu Bei: OK, Xiao Zhao, what's the matter? The leader is very busy.

Zhao Yun: It's just ... that ... that's ... hmm. ...

Liu Bei: Somebody! Get this guy out of here! Delete!

Zhao Yun: No, no, don't be rude, master. What I'm talking about here is the selection of five Iliad generals.

Liu Bei: Are you pleading again? Go away! There is no time!

Zhao Yun: No! Do you think I am such a person!

Liu Bei, Zhuge Liang (watching in unison): Very similar!

Zhao Yun: Master, I'm just your driver. I haven't fought any big battles this time. Why do you want to participate in the selection? I despise these things.

Liu Bei: Oh? Rare!

Zhao Yun: Although I saved your son in the first world war in Changbanpo, it was only a trivial matter, I forgot!

Liu Bei: Hmm. ...

Zhao Yun: By the way, Master, I heard that you like this? (takes out a box)

Liu Bei: (tearing open the box) Wow! This is my latest Barbie doll!

Zhao Yun: Did your master like it?

Liu Bei: My wife loves it! Xiao Zhao, how did you know I liked this?

Zhao Yun: Last time I caught a spy in Cao Jun, he said he heard you talking in your sleep. ...

Liu Bei: Xiao Zhao, you touched me so much. ...

Zhao Yun: Oh, nothing! Master, in fact, I still hope to choose that thing. ...

Liu Bei: What are you talking about? Come, master, give you a kiss!

Zhao Yun: (surprised) No way! I ate onion and garlic dip today! !

Liu Bei: Never mind! I ate stinky tofu.

Zhao Yun: (urgent) Master, I have something to do. It's 886 Remember to help me do it well! (Running downward)

Liu Bei: I said, piggy, don't forget Xiao Zhao when judging this matter ... I'm really sorry I didn't choose him ... this doll!

[Liu Bei is lazy at his desk, Zhuge Liang cuts his toenails.

Liu Bei: (lazy) I said why I can't have a good sleep ... please don't be so disgusting! This is the office.

Zhuge Liang: (putting his feet in front of Liu Bei) Master, we should be good babies who pay attention to hygiene.

Liu Bei: (covering his nose) Wow! Have you washed your feet?

Zhuge Liang: Of course!

Liu Bei: How often?

Zhuge Liang: Half a year.

Liu Bei: ...% # * (... # ...

[voiceover: (loud footsteps)

Zhuge Liang: (nervously) Master ... it seems to be Godzilla. ...

Liu Bei: (nervously) I feel the house shaking. ...

Zhuge Liang: Master, I'm so scared! ..... hey? Why is there a pool of water?

Liu Bei: (whispering) Pig head, give me your pants. ...

Zhang Fei: (Go up and kick the door to call) Big Brother!

Liu Bei: Wow! Ghosts!

The door was kicked open.

Zhang Fei: Big Brother, I'm coming to see you!

Liu Bei: How many times have I told you, walk lightly, observe the moral standards of citizens, and don't be like a dinosaur. Anders Dan? !

Zhang Fei: Leak!

Liu Bei: Do you dare to "leak"? I want to slap your big mouth!

Zhang Fei: No! I said, why are your pants leaking?

Liu Bei: Mind your own business!

Zhang Fei: Actually, brother, about the selection. ...

Liu Bei: (turning pale) Hey ... Yo. ...

Zhang Fei: What happened to Big Brother?

Liu Bei: (weak) There are always days when I feel unwell every month ... Piggy, I want to sleep and play, so I'll leave it to you. ...

Zhuge Liang: But Master. ...

Liu Bei: For a leader, good health is very important. I'll leave it to you! Silly! (below)

Zhang Fei: Big Brother left? (grinned at Zhuge Liang) gnome male-". ...

Zhuge Liang: (nervous) What are you ... What are you doing?

Zhang Fei: (coldly) I heard that Big Brother is going to select General Five Tigers ... Aren't you embarrassed?

Zhuge Liang: Why?

Zhang Fei: (rolling up his muscles) Use this-one! (approaching step by step)

Zhuge Liang: (looking back) Don't come here! I'll shout when I come!

Zhang Fei: Do you dare to do it?

Zhuge Liang: Your Majesty didn't say yes!

Zhang Fei: What is my relationship with him? Dare you not do it? You're dead!

Zhuge Liang: (shouting) I won't do it if you kill me! You-threatened the assistant manager, and I-told the general manager!

Zhang Fei: Who said anything about hitting you? I just want to kiss you to death! (Mouth ...)

Zhuge Liang: Wow! I took you there! Adding you is not enough! Name!

Zhang Fei: Zhang Fei.

Zhuge Liang: Age?

Zhang Fei: 47, you are still young!

Zhuge Liang: Gender?

Zhang Fei:% # $ # ... Do you need to be beaten!

Zhuge Liang: Oh, I was dazzled at the moment. I used to have a MM named Zhang Fa. Personal profile?

Zhang Fei: This guy is lazy and leaves nothing behind.

Zhuge Liang:% #%! ..... Well, registration is complete. You, man, Italy, right!

Zhang Fei: You can do things! Otherwise, you will see it! (below)

Zhuge Liang: (doing the action of hitting people in the back)

Zhang Fei: (suddenly looking back) By the way, I forgot to tell you that you are like an animal.

Zhuge Liang: What animal?

Zhang Fei: Panda.

Zhuge Liang: Why?

Zhang Fei: (fiercely) Who told you to hit me in the back! I want to fight!

Zhuge Liang: Help!

Zhang Fei and Zhuge Liang: (freeze)

[voiceover: commercial break: what do you think is the ending of this story? Please tell us your answer! You will get many prizes! Please call our hotline: 0110-5201314, or visit our website China Three Kingdoms Online www.cne3online.com. Don't miss it!

Zhang Fei and Zhuge Liang: (Don't move, face the audience, laugh) Right! (Learn from Li Yong) Everyone will have a chance!

Zhuge Liang: (drinking water)

Guan Yu: (carrying a big bag and a small bag, knocking at the door quietly)

[voiceover: knocking at the door in a low voice: knock, knock, knock. ...

Zhuge Liang: (Didn't hear)

Guan Yu: (knocking at the door loudly)

[voiceover: louder voice: Mao ...

Zhuge Liang: (stretching, yawning ...) Ah-

Guan Yu: (urgent. Kick the door open) Shit!

[voiceover: bang!

Zhuge Liang: (jumping up) Wow! -There are thieves! Mom, I'm scared!

Guan Yu: (first stunned, then laughed) Wow-ha-ha-ha!

Zhuge Liang: (embarrassed) Laugh! What are you laughing at?

Guan Yu: (looking in the mirror) Does the military adviser think I am handsome?

Zhuge Liang: Who said that?

Guan Yu: I thought you said chic!

Zhuge Liang: RMB #-#! @……

Guan Yu: (glance left and right) Where is my eldest brother?

Zhuge Liang: It's convenient to go.

Guan Yu: Convenient? What do you mean?

Zhuge Liang: I am a civilized person, no, I swear! It means-shit!

Guan Yu: Forget it then. I came here today to deliver something. (takes out big bags and small bags)

Zhuge Liang: Hey ... there are no gifts this year, only gifts. ...

Guan Yu: melatonin?

Zhuge Liang: Don't advertise! No! It's old platinum

Guan Yu: What the hell?

Zhuge Liang: A kind of hard liquor. Drinking it can detoxify, beautify, whiten and protect skin, wrinkle and lift skin. ...

Guan Yu: Yes!

Zhuge Liang: Then give it to me!

Guan Yu: Who said that? I gave it to my brother.

Zhuge Liang: Wait ... What's the sudden gift?

Guan Yu: Hehe ... you are not ignorant of ... this choice. ...

Zhuge Liang: Stop! None of your business!

Guan Yu: Why? Am I not strong and handsome enough?

Zhuge Liang: (serious, speaking tone) Comrade Guan Yu showed no performance in the battle. It is said that you should be guilty of hiding in Jingzhou Special Zone all day!

Guan Yu: Wrong! I just experience life!

Zhuge Liang: It's none of your business anyway!

Guan Yu: Ah ... I said that my administrative level is at least the same as that of Mr. Liu and my eldest brother. Should I care or not?

Zhuge Liang: (pointing to the big bag) What do you mean! The leader took bribes? We Hanzhong land company don't buy this set!

Guan Yu: (frowning) Forget it, I won't argue. I think you are tired, too. Take a break and relax. I will go to song for you.

Zhuge Liang: That will do. (Sit down, lie down)

Guan Yu: (singing "Sweet Honey" affectionately) It's very sad ... you smile miserably ... like flowers in the autumn wind ... my goose skin fell all over the floor. ...

Zhuge Liang: Cut!

Guan Yu: (singing in rock) Who gently asked me to go to the toilet to wash the toilet; I met an old woman named pineapple. ...

Zhuge Liang: Stop, stop!

Guan Yu: (hoarse accent) If you want to leave me, it's no use giving me back the photos. I can give them back to my mother ...

Zhuge Liang: Shit! I took you there!

Guan Yu: Will you come again?

Zhuge Liang: I vomited blood …

Guan Yu: By the way, counselor, these are for you. (takes out a bag of gold coins)

Zhuge Liang: Wow! Gold! Favorite!

Guan Yu: So ... that thing, huh?

Zhuge Liang: Everything is on me!

Guan Yu: Then you can add my name first.

Zhuge Liang: (writing) OK!

Guan Yu: Thank you! Strategist, you are so great, I like you so much!

[Voice-over: Liu Bei: Little Pig, give me the documents on the selection of the Five Tigers and give them to the manager's office!

Guan Yu: The military adviser is tired. Let me help you.

Zhuge Liang: Hehe. You really got my heart.

Guan Yu: I'm flattered. (Pick up the file and put it down)

Zhuge Liang: (takes out the gold and looks at it with joy) Huh? How ... (peeling off "gold")? Is it gold coin chocolate?

2. Fat class and thin class

[Thin class: A, B and C play]

Skinny class: one two one, one two one, one two three four!

A: Leaders.

Dear comrades

H: hello, everyone!

A: At this stop, you can tell what it is without talking.

B: That's right! Look at this shape, and you will know what we do.

C: I'm confused. What should we do?

Yes, what should we do?

A: Don't you know? !

Do you want me to enlighten you? That's .......... (climbing with his bare hands)

Oh ... I see, pole climber?

B: (then gesturing) Do you understand my movements again? All right ... (pinch your mouth, touch your ribs, catch the enemy)

D: Oh ... Monkeys eat ribs!

Don't you know? The audience understands that we are special police. ........

He: special police?

A: Oh, it's the extremely thin armed police!

H: yes!

Let me introduce myself. I'm Gong Hanlin, the monitor of the thin class, and I'm called "dried tofu".

B: He Jiong, the vice monitor, is called "bean curd residue".

C: Warrior Ma, known as "bean curd brain".

He: Is the bean curd brain ridiculous? Is tofu brain funny?

A: All right, all right. Do you know what you are here for?

What?

The coach asked us to play games with Class Three.

Hmm? Playing games with Class Three?

A: Yes! Play a game with Class Three.

C: (touching the monitor's forehead) Monitor, do you have a fever?

A: I'm fine. Isn't it just compared with Class Three? We should be brave and tenacious, strive for victory and not lose face.

C: monitor, those fat people in class three, us? ..... I'm afraid. ......

A: I'm not afraid of anything. I'm not afraid of anything you shake (I shake a little, so I quickly distract others). Look, Class Three is coming!

[Fat class: ABC debut]

Comrades, don't forget that our slogan is, get ready-

Fatty class: (shouting) Use me in the first battle! Use me to win! (Do the action of showing strength to the thin class)

A: Come on, don't brag. Let's introduce the members of your class first.

A: (aiming at the thin class) I am the monitor of the fat class!

What did the monitor say?

A: He said he was-

A: fatty squad leader!

A, B and C: I have enough confidence.

My name is Sammo Hung, and people call me "Fat Handsome".

I'm Li Qi, an obese petty officer, and everyone calls me "fat cow".

C: I'm Li Jindou, a fat fighter, known as "Prince Hippo".

A: Yes, yes! Dogs have horns-a little westernized, and they are quite good at whole words. Don't talk so much nonsense. What's the game today?

H: Yes, compared with what?

A: Tug of war!

Thin class: pull ... (paralysis)

C: (Steady yourself) Come as soon as you come!

Wow, you have a lot of nerve. Monkeys wear cheongsam-you look beautiful.

C: A mule or a horse. Come out and compare!

B: Is it really better than that?

Really?

B: Compare them. (Looking back) Brothers of Thin Class, help! (Do tug of war)

Are you ready?

[The fat class quickly pulled the thin class over, and in a critical moment, B walked beside the fat class]

B: (Shouting like a peddler) Come with me, comrades who are afraid of being fat. Take a look. There is a clearance sale now. If you want to lose weight, please use slimming tea and cleansing oil. I use very 2+ 1 (Modeling) (Fat class grabbed weight-loss supplies, forgot to tug of war, and lost the game. After winning, the thin class shouted: wash and brush-yeah! (modeling) b takes out the fan and opens it, with the words "applause" printed on the front and "not enthusiastic enough" printed on the back)

Monitor, did they win?

A: (to the thin class) Your win is extremely disgraceful!

Fat people: Yes! This is disgraceful!

Don't worry about losing face. My tutor asked me to organize this competition for a different purpose.

Everybody: Where is it?

A: The purpose is to keep fit. The following competition can only be launched around this theme.

C: How does that compare with what?

A: Better than a speech! The topic of our square is "Fat body is a burden on duty".

A: Then our opposing topic is: "Being thin is a war imbecile".

A: What?

A: (change your mouth) It's the weak, the weak.

A, A: The game-let's go!

B: What does a fat body mean?

C: I answer! Gnome male-",on behalf of the company food is good!

C: No! Represents the reduction of the company's combat effectiveness!

D: what do you mean by thin?

B: that means the company's food is not good!

Skinny class: Yes! (Reaction) Huh? !

B: No, no, no, it means a good style of thrift!

A: No, it means poor physical fitness!

B: what evidence is there?

A: There was a sandstorm and a strong wind the other day. It's dark, flying sand and stones, blare-blowing like the wind. I'll change the monitor's whistle for you. It broke down at the sentry post, and something happened, which was terrible. It's scary, right?

Q: What's the matter? Why not make it clear?

A: No one. I am looking for that. The telephone is very low, above the door frame, in the window crack, under the floor-

How's it going?

A: No.

Q: Where are the people?

A: At this moment, I suddenly found a big green plastic bag hanging on the power grid, and I heard it shouting, "Help, help!" "

Okay, green hair.

A: Look carefully, it turns out to be your monitor!

I'm too fragile. What a pity!

C: Then I also have proof! That night, your monitor came to change my sentry, just in time for the rain. It rained heavily, and the raindrops as big as shot put fell on me, just like rain.

It rained, but it didn't kill you.

C: At this moment, I found your monitor naked-

Everyone: huh? !

C: No, no, no, I'm not wearing a raincoat.

Everybody: Where are the raincoats?

C: It's not that big. I saw your monitor come in wearing a white skirt.

A: That's a good dress.

C: When you walk in, you still import clothes from famous brands.

A: I don't wear anything bad.

C: There are also two big characters printed on the front and back of the clothes.

A: The front is

C: "Japan"

Z: It's still imported from Japan.

A: The back is

C: "urea"

Everyone: plastic bags.

A: Don't spoil us fat people. In fact, there are many fat people in history who are very hardworking.

Everyone: Like what?

Is Lu fat?

Everyone: Fat!

That's my brother.

Everyone: huh?

Is Zhang Fei fat?

Everyone: Fat!

That's my uncle!

Everyone: Oh.

A: Is Pig Bajie fat?

Everyone: Fat!

That's my ancestor!

Everyone: huh? ! (b pull a)

Oh, that's his ancestor.

C: Your ancestors!

A: No, no, no, that's the ancestor of pigs. I mean: Fat people are also very effective!

Fat people: Yes!

C: According to you, is the famous movie star Zhang Ziyi thin?

Everyone: thin.

C: That's my ex-girlfriend.

Everyone: Oh!

C: Is Chris Lee thin when he sings?

Everyone: thin.

That's my ex-girlfriend too!

Everyone: Oh?

C: Is this fat man fucking thin?

Everyone: thin.

C: It's mine now. ....

A: What?

C: Aunt!

Everyone: Nonsense!

Captain: What the fuck are you talking about?

C: I mean, thin people are not necessarily weak. Didn't his mother give birth to such a fat son?

A: What's all this for? It's all fucking messed up Come on, let's be realistic. Next, shall our two classes organize a scheme drill?

Everyone: ok! Resolutely complete the task!

A: Class Three!

Fatty class: Here!

A: Your task this time is to use special terrain to catch fugitives.

A: Class Three got it!

C: Monitor, how to catch it?

A: Go around the enemy's back from the sewer-

Next ... (suddenly understood)? !

By the way, how wide is the sewer?

What's your waistline?

A: 3 feet 3 inches.

This sewer is 3 feet 2 inches wide.

A: 3 feet 2, this can't go down.

A: There are so many of you. Let's discuss it and do something.

A: I am definitely not 3' 3. Come on.

Neither can i. I develop horizontally, with wide sides. I can't get down.

A: What should I do?

Monitor, we need to find a thinner person.

A: Oh, C, come on.

C: No, no, my waist is 3' 2, but it's stuck.

A: It doesn't matter. I kick your head and you fall down.

C: No, no, then we can't go down any more.

It's nothing. Did you see the sledgehammer on the construction site? I picked it up and hit you on the head with a hammer, and you fell.

C: I got a kick first, and then a hammer. Monitor, if you put down a corpse, can you catch the criminal?

A: Just go down, whether you are dead or alive.

C: (solemnly to A) Goodbye, monitor! If I have a next life-no, monitor (with tears), I want to eat very 2+ 1! (modeling)

A: (to skinny class) Class Four!

Skinny Class: Here!

A: Your task is also very simple, that is, get close to the room where the criminals are hiding, break down the iron gate and catch the criminals!

Thin people: concave and convex?

A: No? We are too thin to open it.

It doesn't matter. Let's discuss it.

A: (suddenly pointing to C) You go! You go!

B: (solemnly to A) Monitor, let me go. There are two sentences that I don't know when they are inappropriate.

A: Say it!

B: Monitor, this prisoner is so exasperating that he did something bad in broad daylight. This is obviously a disrespect for our powerful armed police. Therefore, we must break down the iron gate and catch the prisoner. If the iron gate is knocked down, the prisoner can be arrested; If you don't break down the iron gate, you won't catch the prisoner. Do you think I should break down the iron gate to catch the prisoner or not? This question is very profound. I have to think about it for two days. I'll go first (to slip away).

A: Come back and think about it for another two months. They were all demobilized. Think now, think at once. ...

There is a way, but the three of us must work together.

A: That's a good idea.

B: That is, one person holds your shoulder and the other person holds your leg and leans you over. Have you ever seen monks ringing bells in temples?

A: Yes.

B: Just aim your head at the iron gate, bang-bang-bang! Open in three situations.

A: Yes, I'm sure I'll die soon.

Don't worry, there is no pain, just a little pain.

A: Huh? I hung up the second time. I'm not afraid of pain or death. Sacrifice is nothing. The point is that my brain is too soft, so I have to find a hard one.

B: There are some hard heads (glancing at C)

A: Here you are. Three, you come.

C: Good-bye, monitor, me, me, monitor! If I have my next life-no, monitor, I'll go to the gym first.

A, A: Alas, the exercise failed! (Everyone bows their heads)

C: Monitor, are we still calling for soldiers?

A: Yes, it is strange that we should be unbeaten in such a battlefield.

How can we accomplish our new mission?

C: Monitor, I know why the instructor organized the competition.

Everyone: Why?

C: Plan-Plan-Birth-Education!

Everyone: rice? ..... let's go.

C: I mean to live in a planned way and cultivate our combat effectiveness!