China has a saying: "If you are in charge of the world, you will fart if you are in charge of the urine!" It is a proverb and a kind of irony to satirize those people who have nothing to do with themselves and are nosy in everything, but it really happens to my daughter before school. As the saying goes, people have "three urgency", one of which is "urgency of urination, urgency of defecation and urgency of farting" from the physiological point of view of people. The ancients called it "killing the toilet urgently", which is almost necessary for everyone every day. Since it is "urgent", it should be released in time and should not be stopped artificially. There are two reasons: one is that stopping will hurt your health, and the other is that sometimes you can't stop. Even in inconvenient situations, from the control point of view, adults' control ability is much higher than that of children. My daughter is only six years old, and her control in this respect is definitely not "ideal"! The majesty of teachers is always above everything else in students' minds, especially for preschool children (kindergarten, excluding children under three years old). In children's minds, the teacher's words and deeds are always right, which seriously affects children's psychology, thinking and cognition. -Liu Jinsui I was having tea and chatting with my friends the afternoon before yesterday. Teacher Han of my daughter's preschool called and said that her daughter peed her pants during her lunch break at noon and asked me to send clothes. I felt very strange at that time, because my daughter had never peed her pants for so many years! But in any case, I have to send the changed clothes to the children first. I said goodbye to my friends, went home and got my clothes, and rushed to the kindergarten. On the crib in the kindergarten dormitory, my daughter is still covered with a quilt. I smiled and said to my daughter, "Haha, why did I pee my pants?" I'm afraid of putting pressure on my daughter. When my daughter saw me laughing, she covered her little face with her hand and threw up. Small tongue also smiled shyly. At this time, Teacher Han came to explain to me that the child said that he had to pee when he just went to bed at noon. Because many children used to lie to the teacher in the name of urinating when they didn't want to sleep, she thought her daughter was lying to her and said, what are you doing urinating? Go to bed quickly and pull your pants if you want. After that, I left. Later, a teacher came. My daughter told her to pee, but the teacher wouldn't let me go. My daughter can't hold back her pants. Teacher Han also apologized to me and my daughter for this matter (I don't want to pursue the responsibility of Teacher Han blindly here). Originally, it was a trivial matter for children to defecate and pull their pants, so it should not be a topic by rights. But the children came home at night, which made me think a lot. The daughter said, "Dad, it's not that I accidentally peed my pants. I told my teacher that I wanted to pee, but neither teacher would let me go. The child lied to the teacher, but I didn't lie to the teacher. Why didn't the teacher leave me alone? " I haven't answered my daughter's question for a long time. This is the first time I haven't answered her question directly. I think my daughter didn't just tell me that it's not her fault to pee and shit. Some teachers don't understand her. Why don't the two teachers believe her? Why don't you let me pee? Because my daughter didn't lie to the teacher. I can't tell my daughter "because other children lied" or interpret it as "the teacher is lazy", let alone "because you told the truth". On Saturday night, my friend's house came to visit me, and I chatted with her about it (my friend's child is also in kindergarten, one year younger than my daughter). My friend said that his daughter's kindergarten teacher was the same, and she didn't let her children go to the toilet during lunch break. It seems that this phenomenon happens not only in my daughter's kindergarten, but also in my friend's daughter's kindergarten, and even more kindergartens. If this is a common phenomenon in kindergartens, it will be very terrible. First of all, there is a crisis of trust in this phenomenon: trust is the basis for establishing good relations and exchanges between people. If one of the two sides has distrust, the result can be imagined. Innocent and innocent. Children are more eager for trust than adults. Trust is the greatest encouragement and comfort for children, which will make them safer, more confident and happier. In children's minds, parents and teachers are the most trustworthy people, who give him a sense of security. If children feel that even the teachers she trusts and admires most no longer trust her, their young and fragile hearts will certainly be severely hit, and children will not be able to adjust themselves like adults. The child will not analyze why the teacher doesn't trust her, let alone understand why the teacher does this. She can't resist, but she can only accept it passively. The end result is that the child's young mind has cast a thick shadow. Secondly, this phenomenon is forced repression: children don't know how to explain the word repression, and they don't know that they are depressed. Although children are not sure about the right or wrong of things, it is absolutely certain that children should not wet their pants. One teacher even said to their children, "If you want to pull it, pull it in your pants!" " In the end, the child forcibly pulled out the urine that should not have been pulled into his pants at that time, and the teacher's behavioral ability forced him to pull down his pants. Not only do I have to ask, why did the teacher do this? Why do you want to prevent the minimum physiological excretion problem of a child of several years old? Doesn't the teacher need to excrete? Did the teacher wet his pants? Who's interests have been hurt by defecating everywhere? Don't say that children don't know, even I am in my thirties. The teacher's reason is simple, simple because other children cheated the teacher. Is this reason really enough for a teacher to hurt an honest child's heart with his words and deeds of "pull your pants if you want"? Who gave the teacher such rights? Lying is a common phenomenon in society. Not only children can lie, but also adults often tell some lies. Some social psychologists have done research and textual research. Under normal circumstances, people will tell at least one to six lies every day. Is it the child's fault that the child lies? Why do children lie? I am not a child psychologist, and I have no right to make any big remarks, but I firmly believe that as long as a person with normal psychology has never denied everyone's truth because someone lied to him, let alone an educator who sets an example. I think we all know that what an educator should do is how to educate children not to tell lies, instead of denying the truth of children. Let's assume that the teacher is dealing with this kind of thing from another angle: (many children don't want to sleep in bed during lunch break, so they temporarily escape on the grounds of "teacher, I have to pee"). Child: "Teacher, I have to pee." Teacher: (I don't know whether it's a lie or a truth) "OK, I'll take you there. Be careful when getting out of bed. " Child: "Thank you, teacher. I know. " When the child goes to the toilet, the teacher cares about the child's safety. As a result, the teacher finally found that the child did not urinate. ) The teacher said, "Why don't you pee?" XXX (name) told the teacher, aren't you going to sleep in the bed? The child knows that the teacher guessed his mind. Child: "Hmm" or don't talk (indicating default) Teacher: "XXX (name) Can you tell the teacher why you don't want to sleep? Children usually don't talk ... Teacher: "Do you know why the teacher wants you to sleep at noon?" "(gentle tone) The child doesn't talk or says he doesn't know (maybe he knows). Teacher: "Do you want to be better and smarter?" Child: "think! "Teacher:" Good, the teacher knows that XXX (name) is a good boy. The teacher told you that sleeping at noon can make children smarter and taller. Do you know why teachers know so much knowledge? Because when I was a child, kindergarten teachers slept at noon every day. As long as you insist on taking a lunch break, I believe you will be as smart and tall as the teacher. All right, let's go to bed. "Send the child to bed, cover the quilt, and then gently give the child a warm forehead kiss. If the above scenario is true, then the first thing is to educate children, which not only instills the idea that sleeping can make them grow taller and smarter, but also allows children to take an active nap, which will not expose children's lying behavior and protect their self-esteem, and it is even more impossible for children who tell the truth to pull urine into their pants (if shit is pulled into their pants, it is even more terrible). Teachers' duty is to "teach and educate people". I think the words and deeds of "pulling your pants if you want" should not be linked to the responsibility of "teaching and educating people" in any case. It can be said that this is a deviation in itself, and even smacks of coercion and intimidation. Is this behavior to dispel doubts and educate people? The slogan "Education must start with dolls" has been shouted for many years. I think it is right to start with dolls, but the key question is what kind of education should be used to start with dolls? This is worth thinking about.