But I often stay alone in an empty corner … quietly enjoying loneliness … although I sometimes feel lonely and want to escape … but these have already become a habit … I have lost my color in my world … so I don't feel heartache …
Sometimes I feel that life is hypocritical, and I can easily see through this society. This materialistic society is really going to be confused. Don't see everything too clearly, it's hard to be confused!
Because it's hard for me to get secular recognition in my life ... and my thoughts are destined to be different from others ... I've been looking for some way ... to find the way and the person I want to belong to. ...
I keep running on the road of life, and I will still say loudly that I am an optimistic person, ignoring all the worldly things I hate, and I will still walk smartly ~ even if I fall, I don't need help ~ even if I am tired, I don't need false care ~ ~ ~ I am eccentric ... I like to do strange things. ..
Finally, one day I found out that I am a hedgehog, surrounded by hard thorns and with a soft body. When the thorns were pulled out, there was nothing left, and my weakness was completely exposed to the world! Before you know it, it's already fragmented ~
Everyone is afraid of loneliness in his heart. I want someone to accompany me. ...
Written at midnight
Sometimes I feel like an idiot staring at the sky all day, thinking that someone will hear me talking to myself, but I know no one will listen to a madman talking crazy, sitting next to the computer, smoking a cigarette, watching the computer and listening to the same song over and over again.
When I turned off the lights at night, I suddenly felt that this color belonged to me. I remember a sentence: the night gave me black eyes, but I used them to find light. But I am afraid that I will go further and further in this boundless darkness and eventually lose myself. The sky is big and blue, and sometimes I feel small when I look at it. Since it can be ignored, why do people live in this world?
Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I have a new understanding of why people look different. Why do I look like this? Why does this face look like a mask? Maybe one day I will be numb, so I won't ask myself these words. Should I be happier than I am now?
I don't want to grow up, but it's time to say goodbye to my naive self in a blink of an eye. Is maturity a habit of wearing a mask? I asked myself.
It's almost dawn. I think my cigarette is going to burn out. It should be sunny tomorrow.
Is tomorrow a new beginning or an end?