1 500 years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. I fell in love with you the other day when I peeked at your posture of cutting vegetables in the window. Don't blame me for not telling you! Because there were no text messages at that time!
2. The wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.
Hello, dear users, this is a network test. If there is no signal on your mobile phone, please slam your mobile phone on the ground until there is a signal. Thank you for your cooperation. Goodbye.
4. A man raising a woman outside is called "the golden house hides the charming". Women raise men outside, called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".
5. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.
6. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we?
7, you are the sun in the sky, I am the mountain on the ground; You are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the ground; You are a crow flying in the sky, and I am a dog chasing on the ground.
8. A first-class man has a home outside his home; There are flowers outside the second-class men's house; Third-class men find a home in flowers; Fourth-class family members go home from work; The wife of a fifth-class man is not at home; A sixth-class man has no wife and no home.
One kiss for your rose, two kisses for my home, and three kisses for your honeymoon. I am a fool in love, and I will never change my love for you! ! ! hum
10, you, you little goblin, poisoned me with your love poison, but you didn't give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!
1 1. You are handsome, you are handsome, you are the most handsome in the world, with a nest of cabbage on your head and a sack of kelp around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation failed god.
12. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. Chickens are mentally ill. They don't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are in a hurry, so they hide to see the chicken. Silly chickens are secretly looking at their mobile phones.
13, sister, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. It missed you, fell in love with you at first sight, chased you without saying anything, and came to you again and again. I must catch up with you. ..
14. Being single is understanding, falling in love is wrong, breaking up is awakening, getting married is wrong, getting divorced is awakening, remarriage is stubborn, no lover is a waste, and many lovers are animals.
15, baby, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. You are a phoenix flying in the sky. I am a jackal chasing on the ground. I won't hit you or scold you. I torture you with my feelings.
16 Buddha said: Looking back 500 times in the past life, I only got this life passed by. If it is true, I am willing to exchange 10 thousand encounters with you and tell you: "I really want to love you."
2. Classic sentences about love stories and jokes 1. If you cry, my face is always wet. If you are sad, it is always my heart that cries.
2. What if I lost you and won the world? 3.30 years later, if there is still the word "persistence" in the world, I hope it belongs to me. After 30 years, if there is still the word "moved" in the world, I hope it belongs to you.
I can promise all your promises, except the condition that you say "I love you". 5. When you are by my side, you are everything; When you are not with me, everything is you.
6. It takes only one second to fall in love with you, but it takes a lifetime to forget you.
7. When missing becomes a habit, I think it is love. I can't die for you, not because I don't love you enough, but because no one will love you like me after I die.
9. I don't need happiness with you, because you are my happiness. -10 I don't know what will happen in the future, but I know I love you at this moment.
Joke: 1 1. "Few people hate books when they are used", and students say "there is not enough money at the end of the month". God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you!
44. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.
54. Hold your hand and drag it away. The son said no, well, close the door and let the dog go! 1, hold your hand and you will know that your son is ugly and his face is full of tears.
2. Journey to the West tells us that all monsters with backstage were taken away, and those without backstage were killed by a stick.
I like you so much that you will die.
5. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me? !
6, people can't extricate themselves, except teeth and love.
7. When life turned everything into black humor with malice, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with higher education.
9. Little girls want to find a white horse in their dreams. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After the grief, they can only choose a strong one from the donkeys. Such a donkey is named: economically applicable male.
10, I'm going to cry. I'm going to make trouble. I stayed up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills and hanging myself with a small rope. No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love.
1 1, our goal: look at money and earn more.
12, I am a passerby who you turn around and forget. Why should I accompany you to the ends of the earth?
13, without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark. ...
14. Bus congestion is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.
17, cut the wire with a kitchen knife, and sparks and lightning all the way.
22. Many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street.
It is said that people have only two choices: get busy dying or get busy living. I think I have a third option: I'm busy waiting for death. 28. If you are doomed not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance.
Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.
30. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.
3 1, Zhuge Liang didn't take a single soldier before coming out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience?
3. Humorous jokes about love suggest that you download a Confucian leopard client on your mobile phone, or pay attention to Confucian leopard jokes on WeChat (micro-signal: roboo-dz) for 24 hours to gain happiness.
A couple just chatted on line 10 at seven in the morning. The woman suddenly took out the man's mobile phone and began to check WeChat. During this period, she beat, scolded and kicked the man from time to time. Then the woman said, why hasn't your daughter-in-law added me to WeChat? Man: She doesn't dare to add anyone she doesn't know ... Do you know when you are a mistress outside?
I went to the bathroom to take a shower with my colleagues last night. When he was washing his hair, I came up behind him with conditioner and squeezed his ass hard. White emulsion sprayed his ass. He shouted like a pig, "Lie down, (dumb) what are you doing?" I immediately put away my conditioner, held Tintin, and stood behind him with a puzzled expression, waiting for him to turn around.
Last night, I had sex after drinking and had sex with a fat girl. When I woke up in the morning, I wrote down my phone number on the note and handed it to her, saying, "If you want to see me again in the future, just call this number." "Wow, that's very kind of you!" She said happily, "No one else wants to call me." I said, "This is not my mobile phone, it belongs to the weight loss center."
4. Funny love stories 1, 500 years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. I fell in love with you the other day when I peeked at your posture of cutting vegetables in the window. Don't blame me for not telling you! Because there were no text messages at that time! 2. The wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.
Hello, dear users, this is a network test. If there is no signal on your mobile phone, please slam your mobile phone on the ground until there is a signal. Thank you for your cooperation. Goodbye. 4. A man keeps a woman outside, which is called "the golden house hides the charming". Women raise men outside, called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".
5. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself. 6. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love; we? 7, you are the sun in the sky, I am the mountain on the ground; You are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the ground; You are a crow flying in the sky, and I am a dog chasing on the ground.
8. A first-class man has a home outside his home; There are flowers outside the second-class men's house; Third-class men find a home in flowers; Fourth-class family members go home from work; The wife of a fifth-class man is not at home; A sixth-class man has no wife and no home. One kiss for your rose, two kisses for my home, and three kisses for your honeymoon. I am a fool in love, and I will never change my love for you! ! ! Mmm 10, you, you little leprechaun, poisoned me with your love poison but didn't give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love! 1 1. You are handsome, you are handsome, you are the most handsome in the world, with a nest of cabbage on your head and a sack of kelp around your waist. You think you are Dong Fangbubai, but in fact you are the second generation failed god.
12. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. Chickens are mentally ill. They don't eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are in a hurry and hide to see the chicken. Silly chickens are secretly looking at their mobile phones. 13, sister, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice, misses you, falls in love with you at first sight, chases you without saying anything, comes to you again and again, and I must catch up with you ... 14, single is understanding, love is wrong, breaking up is consciousness, marriage is wrong, divorce is awakening, remarriage is stubborn.
15, baby, I love you just like a mouse loves rice. You are a phoenix flying in the sky. I am a jackal chasing on the ground. I won't hit you or scold you. I torture you with my feelings. 16 Buddha said: Looking back 500 times in the past life, I only got this life passed by.
If it is true, I am willing to exchange 10 thousand encounters with you and tell you: "I really want to love you."
Five hundred years ago, you were a long-term worker in our family. I fell in love with you the other day when I peeked at your posture of cutting vegetables in front of the window. Don't blame me for not telling you! Because there were no text messages at that time!
2. The wife should follow when she goes out, obey her orders and blindly follow her mistakes; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.
Hello, dear users, this is a network test. If there is no signal on your mobile phone, please slam your mobile phone on the ground until there is a signal. Thank you for your cooperation. Goodbye.
4. A man raising a woman outside is called "the golden house hides the charming". Women raise men outside, called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".
5. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.
6. Love jokes are hilarious. One night, I want to buy snacks. Mommy stopped me and asked me, "Don't you lose weight?"
I said, "Hey … Anyway, I have a boyfriend, and some people want to …"
Then my mother looked at me for a long time and said a very inspirational sentence: "Don't you want to change?"
A thief in grade one, a thief in grade two, a brother who dances ballet in grade three, a handsome guy who is not chased in grade four, a lot of love letters in grade five, a lot of homework in grade six, carpets in grade seven, couples in grade eight in pairs, and tuition in grade nine is fucking expensive.
Talk to your wife after dinner today! She talked about that excitement and spat in my face with a smile! I subconsciously wiped it with my hand ... as a result, my wife was furious: how dare you dislike me! I quickly explained: no, it's my wife. You sprayed it unevenly ... I wiped it with my hand.
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