To say that the current "mainstream" parents are mostly born in the 1980s and 1990s, many people have the problem of "preferring sons to daughters" since childhood. According to the truth, after becoming a parent, you should abandon this idea, right?

However, the results are often unsatisfactory, and on this basis, an idea of "invisible preference for boys over girls" has been formed. It hurts my daughter, but my parents won't admit it.

My cousin has two children, a girl and a boy. The difference between the two is seven years.

My sister has been loved by everyone since she was a child, and her personality is particularly cheerful. However, after having a younger brother, I seldom see a smile on her face. It seems that she suddenly changed from a cheerful little girl to an introverted girl.

Once I went to my cousin's house for dinner, I saw my sister frowning all the time and looking unhappy. So dad said jokingly, "Look at you, you are fat, and you still eat so much?"

My sister immediately dropped her chopsticks and turned back to the bedroom. I hurriedly dozen circle field. At this time, my cousin said irritably, "Leave her alone. That's what she is. She is nothing like her sister. "

Then, he turned his head and said softly to his brother, "Honey, eat quickly. You can't be like your sister. "

At that time, I could feel that my sister was angry. After all, she is only an eight-year-old girl.

In addition, there are many similar things, perhaps I have never realized in my cousin's heart: my daughter was a very happy girl before she was 7 years old, but she became unhappy because of her brother's arrival.

Of course, as an outsider, we can't directly say that this is a "son preference" attitude. I think even if I did, my parents would never admit it.

Parents' "son preference" is like a sword for their daughters, stimulating the softest place in their hearts. Although parents always try their best to hide it, they can't hide the harm to their daughter.

In most cases, parents value their sons more than their daughters, but they are "obscure". For example, in Everything is Fine, Su Mu said to Su Mingyu, "How can you be as good as your brother as a girl?"

In other words, parents expect their son to achieve something, because his achievement will bring honor to their parents, but they don't have much hope for their daughter.

On the surface, parents don't put too much pressure on their daughters, but have higher requirements for their sons. But it can also be said that parents ignore their daughter's self-worth and future value to society.

This is son preference!

(1) Small equal treatment, big "special treatment".

In life, parents will share the things they buy home with their children, but they are eccentric in making decisions on some major issues. For example, a son will be admitted to a university and attend a better school, but there are not many requirements for his daughter, as long as he can graduate smoothly. For example, I will buy a house for my son and get married, but I will ignore my daughter.

② Never admit in words, but "cheat" in action.

Leave the property to the son, but let the daughter support the elderly.

I once heard a netizen say such a thing: she is the eldest in the family and has two younger brothers.

People need the care of their children in their later years, but her two younger brothers are careless, busy with work and can't take care of their mothers.

Later, the two brothers privately discussed with her that as long as she was willing to take care of her mother, all her mother's inheritance would be hers in the future. My elder sister is very filial, and when I heard my younger brothers say this, I was very moved and more motivated to serve my old mother.

What happened? Her mother was furious when she heard that her daughter had problems and took care of herself with ulterior motives.

But then again, this matter is now on the parents. Will you leave your property to your daughter?

(4) The elder sister's "existence" is to make the younger brother live better.

Some time ago, I also saw a king bombing news and boarded a hot search.

Luo Luo, born in 1996, has been working in Hangzhou for three years. Because of long-term demands from his family, he is under great pressure. I quarreled with my boyfriend in 20 19, and I was in a bad mood. I went to Qiantang River to play and died unexpectedly at high tide.

Afterwards, the company compensated his family for 60 thousand, but three days later, his parents suddenly asked the company for 4 1 10 thousand because they wanted to buy a house for their younger brother!

We found from Lolo's Weibo that the poor girl was under great pressure from her family.

This is a typical case of "son preference". Parents want to take money only to make their younger brother live better.

However, judging from the chat records, parents did not find that they had the idea of "preferring sons to daughters" at all, and still treated their daughters with the slogan "We love you the most, so we say this". As we all know, my daughter has suffered a lot.

Finally, this "invisible preference for boys over girls" has gradually become a trend, and sometimes it is even worse than partiality, which is not only not conducive to the growth of sons, but also easy to cause psychological pressure to daughters.

Therefore, the "hidden" preference for boys is also very harmful to girls. If you encounter these situations, you should adjust your mentality in time. Although we can't change our parents, we can change ourselves.