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Tenzin, Dali and I spent more than a year together. Dali is a Tibetan doctor, my colleague and my next-door neighbor. He is a half-Han hybrid from Shimada Hanzo. His father was a Sichuan Han soldier who entered Tibet when Tibet was liberated, and married a Tibetan girl who was liberated by serfs. Tenzin is a Tibetan in Kangba and a distant relative of Dali. Therefore, as long as Tenzin comes to Lhasa, he will live here in Dali. People often say that Tenzin is a living Buddha, but my concept of living Buddha is very vague. Besides, from his physical appearance to his facial features to his manners, he is obviously a capable Tibetan man, no different from other Tibetans I know. Therefore, I only think that he is a trustworthy alien brother, someone who can make me complain about my depression and troubles and make me happy at any time. Even if we chat alone until late at night, he will never have a man's wildness and fantasies. I respect him, trust him, and rely on him a little.

When I first arrived in Lhasa, my friends described some "current situations" in Lhasa to me. "When you see a tough man with a red rope wrapped around his head, you must avoid it. They are straightforward and have a bad temper. If you say something wrong, you may enter the work. A few days ago, two Tibetans fought and one stabbed the other to death. " I heard it with horror, so I went out to the street and saw a man wearing a red rope ornament on his head. I was so nervous that I ran away. When I was shopping in Bajiao Street, I bumped into the arms of the old man who turned the meridian in order to avoid the red rope wrapped around my head. I almost stood kowtowing and fell to my knees, which made people around me laugh at me. A friend went out with me and deliberately bluffed me with the words "Look at the man with the red rope", which often embarrassed me.

Knowing Tenzin is purely accidental. When I first came to Lhasa and didn't fully understand Tibet, the place I wanted to go most was Potala Palace, a palace that fascinated me for a long time and attracted me to Tibet. On this day, I made an appointment with my friends in advance. I got up early in the morning and went to Potala Palace without any food. My friends had been waiting there for a long time, so I bought a bottle of yogurt at the stall and handed it to me to drink. At that time, few people in the mainland drank yogurt and cheese. I'm still not used to this kind of food, but because of the enthusiasm of my friends, I'm embarrassed to disobey the monks and their faces, so I have to bite the bullet and drink it. Yogurt without deep processing has a strong mutton smell, almost equal to my throat and nostrils, rolling in my stomach. Fortunately, the magical Potala Palace attracted me so much that I climbed every step of the Potala Palace carefully and desperately. On that day, there were no tour guides and commentators in Potala Palace, only a few foreign tourists, who took photos very seriously and communicated mysteriously, and many men, women and children dressed in Tibetan costumes.

We blindly follow the Tibetans, admiring the unattainable golden Buddha, exquisite wall hangings and dim ever-burning lamps in various temples, and trying our best to appreciate the stories displayed on each wall hanging and the profound Buddhist Tibetan culture. In fact, we know nothing about its meaning and concept. Unconsciously, along the long line of people, we came to the white house, a seemingly solemn threshold, probably where some monks lived. Everyone was waiting there quietly, and I was standing among them happily. I saw a Lama in a purple tweed robe, carrying an exquisite copper pot from Huang Cancan and pouring something into people's hands. Those Tibetan grandmothers held out their hands trembling, held them in their palms, drank eagerly, and then took a long breath, their faces filled with happiness and satisfaction. I asked them curiously, "What are you drinking"? No one answered me and left without looking back, as if I didn't exist at all.

It will be my turn soon, and I have learned the humility of Tibetans and stretched out my hands carefully. Lama poured a deep yellow transparent liquid from his copper pot into my palm with a solemn face. I put my hands in front of my face and sucked into the crowd. Because the suction was too great, I slipped into my throat without tasting it. I try to look as happy and satisfied as other Tibetans. I just heard a friend behind me say, "Drink whatever you want. It's the urine mouth of the old Lama." My throat is as uncomfortable as chicken feathers. I can't get up or down, and I don't know what it feels like. As a result, those spoiled yogurts were restless in the stomach again in the morning. I just want to jump on my throat. I struggled to find a place where I could vomit, and the things in my stomach came up and down, but just after I left the hall, these things came out of my mouth unscrupulously and sprayed and sprayed far away.

At this time, I was overwhelmed by the strong stomach contents and mental stimulation, and I vomited. I almost threw up my intestines. The Tibetans in the path avoided me like the plague and muttered something. I didn't understand a word, but judging from their expressions of disgust, they couldn't wait to jump on me and beat me up. Just when I was embarrassed to apologize, a young man with long hair, sunken eyes, high nose, dark skin and obvious Tibetan characteristics came over and said something to the people around him. He came to me with a smile. "Are you sick?" I don't know how to answer. "The first time I came to Lhasa." I nodded shyly and apologized. He smiled generously and said, "Nothing. Today, monks pray and touch the top for believers. Believers worship bodhisattvas and monks in order to be safe and happy all their lives, accumulate virtue and do good deeds all their lives, and be reincarnated in the afterlife. You came early, so you won't let visitors in in the future. I asked eagerly, "What is the Lama drinking over there? "The urine of the old Lama?" No, it is impossible for so many people to drink the urine of the old Lama. ""What were we drinking just now? " "It's saffron water, and saffron itself is also a medicine. Monks mix a lot of Tibetan medicine made by themselves with water and give it to believers, which becomes holy water and holy medicine. " I breathed a long sigh of relief, and my hanging heart was finally put down. My friend's prank made me very painful and almost caused ethnic disputes. It is said that on this day, sick Tibetans came to the Potala Palace. In order to get the holy medicine for treating or preventing diseases or crossing over, they put on clothes that they thought were clean early in the morning, and did not eat irritating food such as leeks and garlic to show their respect for the gods. They did not let dirty things into the palace at all. So I threw up there, and naturally I was angry. The swearing language is also vicious, but I can't understand it, so there is no conflict.

It was when Su Wei's life was hanging by a thread that monk Dan helped me out and became our tour guide for one day.

The guidance given by monk Dan is really charming, witty and chic. Raising hands, lifting feet, smiling and frowning all reveal the unique wisdom of Tibetans. In his explanation, I learned the magical story of King Gelsall, the love story between Songzan Gambu and Princess Wencheng, and the mystery and profoundness of Tibetan Buddhism. At the same time, he also asked about my work unit and aid to Tibet. When he heard that I was working and living in a nursing home, he danced with excitement. "Are you a doctor who lives on the second floor?" I smiled and said, "What kind of doctor am I? I am just an acupuncturist who helps Tibet in China. " "No, no, Gaga (Gaga: Tibetan people's respectful name for educated people). I heard from Da Li that a mainland college student came next door to help Tibet. He is young and beautiful, just like a magical doctor, who can tie up a dying person with one needle. Ga! You are amazing ... "Monk Dan was very excited. He praised the image of the imperial doctor he heard from hearsay in Shimada Hanzo Mandarin. My friends also took the opportunity to brag for me. Monk Dan praised me more and more, showing a mysterious admiration. I think it's funny. In fact, not long after I came to the nursing home, an old cadre who was on vacation suddenly had angina pectoris, cold limbs, purple lips, dripping wet, difficulty breathing and almost fainted. Just when everyone was in a hurry to be sent to the hospital, I spent less than half an hour at his four acupoints of Neiguan, Shenmen and Tianchi, and quickly reversed the lifting method to gain time. Later, it was mixed with amber, musk, notoginseng, hematochezia, agarwood and other traditional Chinese medicines to make powder, which was taken regularly. The veteran cadre basically recovered and went home in less than a month. For this patient, because of his different status, the leaders and colleagues in the sanatorium attach great importance to it and are cautious. I also sweat for myself. Unexpectedly, the theory of traditional Chinese medicine in the motherland miraculously pulled the patient back from the line of death. Now, my reputation has spread among nursing homes and many Tibetan leaders. I think I am a living immortal with three heads and six arms. I immediately rearranged my residence and equipped me with the most advanced and convenient cooking tools and heating equipment in Tibet at that time.

I have often seen monk Dan in the corridor since I met him in Potala Palace. There are four families living on the second floor of our building. As soon as we got up the stairs, we were divided into two sides, east and west, with two families living on each side. I live in the westernmost part. "Old party member with Miao Gonggen" Da Li lives next door to me. I go to Da Li's room every day. I wonder if the leader intends to arrange it. .

Dali was born in the same month as monk Dan, about twenty-seven or eight years old. Dali is a versatile hybrid. He sings fluent Tibetan and Chinese, and his voice is high and mellow. Every morning when he goes out, he sings a few words in the corridor and never repeats them, as if to tell people that he is up. Dancing, Da Li's tap dancing is also a must. At that time, there was an audio advertisement for "Yan Dance". Every day, "Yan Dance, Yan Dance, Dance Together and Sing Together" was tossed for a long time, and we all laughed that he danced far worse than Da Li. Play the guitar vigorously, with strong intonation, beautiful movement and emotional input. It is said that his fiancee ran away with an Indian businessman, so his melancholy eyes often showed helplessness and sadness.

In fact, Tenzin and Dali became good friends, so we cooked, ate, sang and watched Dali perform his guitar dance in our spare time. Now that I think about it, there were no "Youth Song Competition" and "Super Boys and Girls Competition" at that time. If Da Li is as young as before, I think he must be the champion. Da Li deserves to be a descendant of Sichuan cuisine. He is also a good gourmet and cook. I won't let him cook in order to lose weight on a diet. "

Li, I and two other young doctors are on duty in turn, each for a week. Dali is on duty these days, and Tenzin hasn't been to Lhasa for a long time. After work in the afternoon, I went back to the dormitory early, listened to Tibetan tapes and practiced some spoken English. "Boom, boom, boom" Someone knocked at the door. When I opened the door, I shouted, "Ah, Tenzin, I haven't seen you for a long time. I really miss you. I dreamed that you came yesterday, and you really came. " "Yes, I came to see you because I know you miss me." Tenzin also humorously joked with me and made a face. We all laughed happily.

"Why, listen to tapes to learn Tibetan, so that such a good teacher will not learn and look down on us." "No, no," I was busy explaining. "Don't explain, let's go out for a walk in such fine weather and help you learn Tibetan."

We walked along the path to the Lhasa River. There are white clouds like cotton floating in the blue sky, and the fiery sunset sprinkles a golden sunshine on the earth. In the opposite Woods, many Tibetans set up white tents and wore holiday clothes. Some are singing and dancing with Hada, while others are sitting on the ground drinking and drinking tea. In the distance, an obscure monk taught us Buddhism, and people kept coming up to worship Buddha and pray. The warm sunshine was cut by people, and the relaxed scene made me very moved.

"It's so beautiful" I can't help admiring.

"Yes, Tibetans have animistic nature worship customs. When a god attaches a mountain, there is a mountain; when a god attaches a lake, there is a lake; when a god attaches a person, there is a' living Buddha', which is also a god. Living Buddha, as its name implies, is a Buddha living in the world. Tibetans call the living Buddha "Zhugu" or "Rinpoche", which means incarnation. Living Buddha is a unique humanistic phenomenon of Tibetan Buddhism and a specific product of Tibetan religious culture and history. "

Look, that was Rinpoche sitting in the middle just now. I nodded in confusion and the conversation turned to Tenzin. "Hey, I heard that you are a living Buddha. How can I see that you are no different from ordinary people? " I asked questions half jokingly and half seriously.

Tenzin was silent for a long time and didn't speak. Let's keep going. I knew I shouldn't ask such a question. Suddenly, Tenzin stopped, suddenly raised his head, gave a long sigh, and sighed "Alas". I saw Tenzin's dark face was full of tears, his mouth twitched, and even his whole body trembled. I was so scared that I jumped in front of him, grabbed his arm and shook it hard. "Tenzin, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken the liberty of asking you this question. I take back what I just said, so don't be sad. " I am like a child who did something wrong and repented in front of Tenzin. Tenzin bowed his head, and tears as big as beans fell on my face.

We came to the Lhasa River. The sunset dyed the river red, and women and children bathed in it. We sat by the river, but we were not interested in enjoying the beautiful scenery. It took Tenzin a long time to recover from the painful memories. "In fact, it's not your fault, but I don't want to recall that inhuman life, and I can't confirm my identity ..." Tenzin once again fell into painful memories and told me his bizarre life experience.

Tenzin is a Tibetan in Kangba and a Tibetan wearing red rope ornaments. At the age of seven, he was selected as a reincarnated living Buddha by the temple and received a good education in Tibetan culture, but the good times did not last long. Just as he had just received the first initiation blessing from a monk and his identity as Rinpoche had not been officially confirmed, the Cultural Revolution began. Tenzin once again fell into painful memories. "The master was killed by the rebel club in order to protect me. I watched helplessly as they shouted,' Revolution is justified and rebellion is meritorious'. The slogan "Kill all monsters" killed Master alive, smashed the Buddha statue in the temple, shoveled off the murals, but hid in the secret room and dared not come out. I'm guilty, and I'm ashamed of my master ... "Tenzin was sobbing, his hands hanging over his head, and he wanted to pull his hair down to feel avenged. I was infected by everything in Tenzin, and my whole body was numb and trembling, as if I were the child who hid and peeked, and was killed by a stick from my relatives. Can this be borne by a seven-or eight-year-old child? The weight of life will cast a shadow over the life of a growing child. How will he affect his life? Suddenly, Tenzin raised his hands and screamed at the sky, Master, punish me. God will never forgive me. "Then he murmured," Bodhisattva has a way to get rid of all the evil ways and pains, which means observing the good way by thinking day and night. "I don't know if he is talking about Buddhism or something, let alone whether he is chanting or confessing in Tibetan. It took about an hour for Tenzin to relax from the almost closed murmur and continue to tell his later story.

"After escaping from the temple, I became one of thousands of street children, begging all the way from Qamdo to Sichuan. Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? My original name is not Tenzin, but Pug Barja. I changed my name just to hide my true identity. In the past ten years, I have been a beggar, crossing roads and digging holes. Seeing the landslide on the top of the mountain, the strong laborers were smashed into paste, and some even couldn't find the bodies. Ten years, what an important golden period for a Rinpoche. They were sent to study in the most authoritative temple of Tibetan Buddhism, held tantric initiation, and taught tantric classics and etiquette according to tantric practice for four years. And I can survive this decade, all the bodhisattvas bless me ... "

"What about you now?" I asked. "I am now Manran baggs, that is, a Gesi degree or a Tibetan medicine degree obtained by monks who have been studying Tibetan medicine for a long time in the medical schools of major monasteries of Tibetan Buddhism. Because the theoretical knowledge studied in medical college is extremely extensive and in-depth, and the practice of collecting herbs in the field is often carried out, the study time is relatively long. In addition, I will rebuild and tidy up our temples and invite those lost monks. I often come to Lhasa for these things during this time. "

"Look, the meteor in the sky, do you see it? I don't know what died again, "Tenzin shouted like a child. Only then did I find that the only quiet thing around me was the sound of the Lhasa River flowing slowly. The plateau at midnight and the deep sky are so mysterious and serene. The breath of the earth is such a relief and tremor.

I haven't seen Tenzin since our conversation that day. After several inquiries, no one has heard from him, even Da Li doesn't know where he is. I didn't know whether Tenzin was traveling in the clouds or studying his magical Tibetan medicine culture until I left Lhasa. However, Tenzin's complicated personality and legendary bumpy life experience deeply attracted me. Tenzin is a mystery that I can never solve.