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The age gap in marriage is not the main problem.
The form of monogamous marriage in the modern sense originated from the rise of Christian ethics and capitalist thought. With the gradual popularization of capitalist ideas such as "equality of human rights" and "contract society", it was finally established in the form of law in the history of civilization evolution of human society.
In ancient times, human marriage, especially in matriarchal society and before, was more for human survival and racial reproduction. So formally, the earliest clan group marriage and consanguineous marriage mainly solved the problems of people and tribes' own life and survival needs. With the evolution of human society, the harm of consanguineous marriage within tribes has been gradually realized, so the marriage system with foreign surnames has gradually formed. After entering the patriarchal society, with the establishment of patriarchy (or male chauvinism) in social life, women gradually became a passive and subordinate party in marriage, so the form of polygamy, especially the elderly with fewer wives, gradually became the only form of social life in the Eastern world, and it was not terminated until modern times. (Note: This article focuses on the different situations of China society, western and Islamic civilization, and will not be discussed. )
Discussing the elements of marriage is inseparable from the social foundation of the marriage system. We look at it from the perspective of social system. From the slave society, under the general theory and private property rights, marriage was completely dominated by men, so marriage in this period more reflected the social status of men. Or it can be said that it is a manifestation of men's wealth psychology. Whether it is young or old wives or polygamy, women's passive acceptance is the main form of expression. During this period, the age gap in marriage is not the main problem at all. "Parents' life, matchmaker's words", wealth and status seem to decide everything. In social life, the phenomenon that the elderly have fewer wives (concubines) is more common. (Note: The situation of child brides is also mainly determined by family wealth, and age is not the main issue here. )
Since entering the modern society, capitalist ideas have begun to sprout. The new trend of thought of "freedom of love and autonomy of marriage" has gradually replaced the discipline of feudal ethics. Under the guidance of the new culture, the new youth shouted the slogan of freedom and began to stop taboo the word love. Human nature is valued and women's rights call for equality. At this time, one party has more choices in marriage, so the age gap in marriage, as one of the elements of marriage, has the significance of being discussed.
Discuss the forms and elements of marriage, and analyze marriage first.
Marriage is a legal combination of men and women, a form of social family and an inevitable result of the evolution of human civilization. Marriage solves the dual needs of human beings as individuals, and at the same time, under the protection of law, it solves the order problem of sustainable reproduction of human society in the spirit of equality and mutual assistance. The emergence of marriage stems from the most essential survival needs of human beings as the spirit of all things in the process of survival and competition in nature. Live long and marry long. Marriage unites men and women and enables individual life to continue in the face of death.
The ideal state of marriage is the perfect combination of spiritual world and real world. Marriage needs material security, which is the most fundamental requirement of life. Marriage also needs the foundation of the spiritual world, without the will of love, and all appropriate behaviors and performances under this will (such as dedication, dedication, tolerance, understanding and support). These are conducive to the complete support of marriage itself). Marriage is hard to be happy for a long time.
The age gap of loveless marriage is naturally not the main problem. From the motive of marriage alone, the pursuit of material enjoyment, or having to choose to get married in order to solve a certain life problem, such as the popular phenomenon of "rich" in society (most elderly people have few wives, but some of them are rich sisters and rich women) is a typical social example, others are political marriage, career marriage, survival marriage and so on. All this shows that when material is the primary factor of marriage, the age gap between the two parties in marriage has retreated to the bottom. As long as the bodies of both parties are still alive (there are also examples of yin marriage in folk customs), marriage can first meet the material needs of one party and the other party also has needs, and this marriage has a factual basis. As a result, the marriage is established, and the age gap between the two parties can even be ignored.
What about love and marriage? In love and marriage, the age gap is not the main problem. Marriage is a love-based marriage in which men and women live together. Because both sides have the will to love, they tend to run more happily. When age meets love or faith, who can beat who in front of marriage? All other conditions of marriage are met, and true love can definitely overcome age. Mr. Zhongshan and Soong Ching Ling, Xu Beihong and Liao are the most typical examples.
Marriage has always had a purpose. Generally speaking, it is nothing more than two aspects: material and spirit. Material solves physical needs and spirit solves emotional needs. Judging from the existence of marriage itself. Once marriage is formed, the age gap itself should be discussed on the level of whether marriage can be happy. And happiness can't depend on the mercy of heaven. Happiness lies only in the management of both parties to the marriage. The wisdom that can be shown in the management skills and behaviors is the knowledge of personal cultivation, which has nothing to do with the age gap between the two parties to the marriage. Considering that marriage is a matter between adults, and adults have independent capacity, age should not be the main issue here. Whether an old man has fewer wives or an old woman has fewer husbands depends on whether the other person is really running a marriage. Age is not a problem, and the happiness of marriage only lies in each other and themselves.
I am afraid that the significance of the age gap between the two parties in marriage is mainly manifested in the satisfaction of the body, but if the beginning of marriage is considered as a major issue, how can there be this marriage?
Whether an old man has fewer wives or an old woman has fewer husbands, what matters is not the age difference, but how to love each other as much as possible. If both parties in the marriage feel happy, who cares whether the husband is old or the wife is young?