First, pay attention to the quality of companionship rather than the primary companionship. What we pursue is time and quantity, and we should stick to each other all the time. Senior companionship pursues concentration and depth, and enriches each other's life experience with each other. What really makes a relationship last is not the length of knowledge, but attention. But unfortunately, there is a common misunderstanding that feelings that have been known for a long time are good feelings. For example, a couple will think that they are "true love" after talking for four years in college. In fact, many couples who go from campus to society simply can't stand any test. As long as the pressure of the house, car and parents comes up a little, it is easy to break up. After all, although they have been together for four years, in fact, many times they are not effective companions, but everyone is in love, so I also go to fall in love. I have never really thought about it: what kind of life do I want to pursue? What kind of people do I want my partner and I to be? What is my long-term pursuit in life? Does my partner's life pursuit match me? I have the habit of turning off social software notifications. Neuroscience research has found that we pay more attention to social information than other information. When I can receive social notifications from others at any time, it also means that my attention will be out of my control and will be disturbed at any time. Therefore, I choose to actively turn off these interferences. Learning to shield external interference in intimate relationships and learning to pay attention to your partner consciously and actively is the best medicine for long-term relationships.

Second, make it clear that you and the other person have different ideas. The growth environment, family education and life experience of the other person are different from yours. Why do you think the other person "should" know what you think, because you are together? A lot of communication is ineffective, because you are hardening each other's behavior with your own thoughts. If you think that if you are angry, you won't have a cold war, just say that the other side is love rat, which is a neglect and injury to you. But have you ever thought? Seeing that my parents have been quarreling since I was a child, the other party is very painful. He said to himself long ago: "You can't quarrel with your partner in the future ..." The sign of a person's legal adulthood is 18 years old, and the sign of adulthood in intimate relationships is to respect the difference between each other and yourself. You are not him, and he is not you. You are two independent individuals. Mutual respect is not obedience to him, but a deep understanding that he and you are two independent souls. He may not know what you think, but telling him what you think is the key to eliminating suspicion and increasing trust between lovers.

Third, learn to put forward your own needs and allow the other party to refuse. Why are people who are not good at making demands often unhappy? Because they always fantasize that through their own efforts, the other party will see their own needs and then take the initiative to pay attention to themselves. The deeper reason is that they think the frustration of rejection is more unbearable than the general pain. Therefore, they would rather wronged themselves than make demands. But the more so, the easier it is to be ignored. Because the attention is very thin.