Look, I'll answer! In this case, there are many, many, many. You can pick out countless more classic nonsense predictions than the examples cited in each chapter when you go to college after eating! The address is studying in Tencent, and I put the link in the resource!

Examinations in universities have always been criticized by people. In fact, this kind of exam is like a patched film, and it will pass in a flash.

1, every man will have the impulse to start a business when he is young, dreaming of getting rich overnight, then driving a Mercedes-Benz or BMW back to his hometown to pay homage to his ancestors, and then by the way, getting to know Xiao Fang who once rejected him. Now he is down and out. Six people in our dormitory are no exception. When everyone really has nothing to do, they get together for a business preparation meeting. After every meeting, everyone felt that money was close at hand and everyone became more and more confident. I can't wait to find a place to sell mala Tang and earn18 million tomorrow.

2, let's talk about the second child. This grandson gets up early every morning with a dung fork to learn Tai Chi sword from a group of old people, and then plays mahjong with old ladies with a dung fork in the morning. One day, because 13 cents, the second child quarreled with a group of old ladies. The second child is young, highly educated and foul-mouthed. He launched an attack similar to "Being a Nine-grade Sesame Officer" in Mandarin, hometown dialect and English. The other three old ladies were afraid of the dung fork around their second child, so they had to candidly admit defeat. But since then, no old man or woman wants to play with the second child. The second child felt empty, lonely and bored.

In vain, the argument and cry of the second child got the attention and approval of Aunt Sun of the neighborhood committee. She pushed her way through the crowd and invited the second child to work in the community neighborhood Committee, so that the second child was responsible for the publicity and education of family planning for women of childbearing age in the community. It is sweet for the second child to start a new life. She knocks door to door with leaflets every day.

Life outside school is wonderful and occasionally lonely.

Zhang Chu said that loneliness is shameful.

The second child said that lonely people are turbulent.

3. After moving out of school, we have realized the well-off life we once yearned for:

Sleep until midnight and wake up naturally,

Roll your eyes until your stomach is round,

Talking about lack of oxygen in the brain and numbness in the mouth,

Singing until the throat festers, the neighbors shout.

Old t asked me what a well-off life was, and I explained it to him:

Think carefully, plan, eat some hard food, drink some expensive wine, pick up some beautiful girls, and then regret the money spent in your heart. This kind of life is the so-called well-off life!

"Is there Dakang?" Old t learns this and that.

"Yes, when you enter the supermarket, you don't look at the price. You pick it up and put it in the shopping cart. Entering the business only depends on the price. You can buy the most expensive, eat what you want, drink what you want and play what you want. This is Dakang! " I gave old t an easy-to-understand job for nothing.

When the logistics teacher opened the door of 2 13, he was surprised to find that there were more than 400 playing cards and condoms on the floor, and a girl's sexy underwear was hung on the rope for hanging clothes. At that time, the teacher cursed: 2 13 people were going to be buried alive, but he felt in his heart: this is a paradise on earth!

For this reason, we were almost caught by informed criticism. Fortunately, we learned in time that we sent five boxes of milk to the logistics teacher on duty. Later, the teacher recorded in the environmental registration of each dormitory: the cleanliness of 2 13 dormitory is very attractive!

6. My mother came out of the kitchen in surprise and took off her apron. She rubbed my head lovingly. "Fat, you are fat again!" "

I sat on the sofa and complained: "Other parents said that my child was hungry and thin when he went to college, and I did lose weight. You also called me fat!" "

Hearing this, my mother came up to me slightly embarrassed, rubbed my head again and said with distress, "Thin, thin, pants and down jacket are thin."

7. "Dad, Mom, I don't like this delicate little princess at all. What's more, I am only a sophomore now, and I can concentrate on my studies! " I'm too lazy to explain to them how Suning and Liu Shuang met. "

"Learn a fart, you got the fourth from the bottom of the class at the end of your freshman year!" My dad picks what I don't like to hear.

"The fifth from the bottom!" I argued.

"Come on, you ah, alas ..." My dad sighed.

I suddenly broke out: "You still say me. When did you care so much about me? " . Last winter, you two went to Lijiang, left me alone at school, and forgot to punch in my living expenses. What's my life called? The local beggars in the school listed me as the key development object and talked to me several times! "

"Don't quibble. Look at the son of Lao Suntou next door. He just brought back two girlfriends in the winter vacation of his freshman year! " My dad is anxious, too.

"Well, you said, I brought my girlfriend and two children back to find you in the summer vacation!" I won't say anything.

"Blow you! Besides, the son of the Lao family upstairs. When he was in college, he set himself a goal: to earn 1 10,000 in the first year after graduation! Now, it is said that it will be realized soon, and friends, relatives and his parents have arranged it! " My dad said enviously.

I was stunned, and Li Dongbao, the son of Lao Li, was nicknamed Silly Bao Er. He spent a lot of money in a junior college that year. How did he become so promising at once? "What did he do to earn so much money?" I asked.

"It seems that this is a pyramid scheme. Never mind what it is, it is better than you! " My father has been lecturing me.

7. After the last exam, I rushed out of the classroom with a cool attitude. Wandering in the school garden. I gently stroked the yellow branches around me and silently praised their yellow power. Anyway, everything I saw was beautiful, including trees, lakes and trash cans. I sincerely thank God for giving me a heart to know beauty. Suddenly, someone patted me on the shoulder behind me. When I turned around, my scalp was numb, and my eyes were black: it was buck teeth! She grinned at me behind me and posed with a smile. I quickly aimed my eyes at the depths of the white clouds, cursing in my heart: God, you also have an unkind side!

8. As I spoke, I took out my mobile phone and sent a short message to old T: "There is a fairy in Nanyuan, very beautiful, long, with big breasts and round ass. Come on!" After my hair was done, I forced a smile on my buck-toothed sister. The smile on his face is similar to that of an injection: "If it's nothing, I'll go first."

"What are you still busy with after all the exams?" Buck teeth younger sister pretended to be naive, cocked his head and asked.

"Well, it turns out, actually, well, …" Just when I was incoherent, the savior old T flew over in time and came to my side. He bent down and gasped: "I'm still taking the exam." I flew over when I saw your message. Where is the beauty? "

The boy looked around as he spoke.

I pointed to Bucktooth Sister: "This is Zhang from Zhang Ziyi and Li from Gong Li. We also make friends, computer and English exams ... "

Before I finished, old T screamed, "Shit!" I thought this was the monkey you bought! "

8. After the carnival, the final exam arrived as scheduled. The second child summed it up in a classic sentence: if only the final exam could be like a girl's menstruation, at least, it could be postponed for a few days occasionally. After that, he threw down his book, went to bed to meditate and practiced frog skills.

Green hat was quite dissatisfied when he heard this statement: "I really want to take the exam once a month, as you said!" "

The second child almost fell out of bed. He complained to his second child, "Don't say such terrible things, I was almost scared by you!" "

Suning then summed up the conversation between the two: "So, this exam should end as early as possible, like the menstruation of pregnant women." Am I right? "

"Yes!" Everybody shout together.

"Do I speak well?"

"good!"

"Where is the thunderous applause?" Suning is more energetic.

Everyone clapped their hands like fools.

I then roared, "Are you going to take the exam tomorrow?

"test!" After everyone answered, they suddenly understood the taste, and a group of people rushed to hit me.

10 I touched his big round head and praised him: "The calf can be taught!"

Old t thought about it and smiled gratefully at me!