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Making fun of movie stars.
1, chasing women classics

You must choose the most beautiful girl.

The kind with unique temperament

Pick up the proudest and most reserved girl

The love letter was sent directly to her.

At least eight or nine times more words than Das Kapital.

What Nestle, Dove, montague

Send it to her as much as you can.

Hot milk in the morning and fresh orange juice in the evening.

There is a rose hidden in the bag.

There are drops of water, the kind of spirit.

Block her every day

No matter whether there is anyone around her, no one needs to say anything.

Seeing you is short, thinking of you is long.

A real Parisian rogue accent

Very moving

There will be a candlelight dinner on her birthday.

Beverage takeout

You have to tip 180 dollars.

Completely intoxicated again

Follow her around the clock

Just one word-love.

You have to look at her hundreds of times to blink.

The person who comes is either beside the girl or opposite Xiaomi.

If you bring your classmates, you are embarrassed to say hello.

You said this way of picking up girls

How many can you make a year?

I think there must be six or seven anyway.

Six or seven? ! It was a disastrous year.

At least twelve

Not too much, not to collapse.

You must study our quality.

True fraternity

I don't care if I change it in January.

What is a love killer? Do you know that?/You know what?

The love killer is

I only choose the best girls, not the good ones.

So our slogan for picking up girls is

Foam is the best, not the best.

Step 2 find a wife

Be sure to choose the one with the most status.

You have to graduate from a famous American school with a master's degree.

Find the most beautiful and elegant one.

At school, it's the beauty queen.

The minimum height is1.70m..

What piano, dancing, karaoke?

A plenary session in which ordinary people can attend.

You must have a special temper.

I always teach you a lesson like my third grandson.

Find such a master

You should get up at five o'clock in the morning to prepare breakfast and come back early to cook at night.

Stand at the entrance of the building when you are ready to cook.

Turn the apron, especially respectful.

As soon as she walks in the door (son), don't worry about anything (son), you have to tell others.

Honey, what can I do for you? )

A pure English cockney accent.

Times (children) have face.

Go out to play if you have something to do.

Stay in the presidential suite

Staying in a hotel alone costs tens of thousands a year.

Honey, this ostentation and extravagance, that entertainment

Spending money 24 hours a day.

Only one word is expensive.

Perfume alone costs 18 thousand yuan

That's not true in your line of work now. You are looked down upon.

Neighbors are either movie stars or pop stars.

If you want to find a Japanese girl.

You're embarrassed to tell anyone?

How much does such a wife have to pay a day?

I think it will cost two thousand dollars anyway.

Two thousand dollars. That was after ten years of marriage.

Starting at four thousand dollars.

Not too expensive and not at a discount.

You need to study the bachelor's psychology of choosing a spouse.

Who wants to pay 2000 dollars a day for his wife?

I don't care about paying another two thousand.

What do you mean by bitch?

It's time to find a wife

Find the hardest to raise, not the best to raise.

3.2005 job articles

Be sure to choose the best resume template.

Using Harvard's model

Write the best internship.

Rank first directly

GPA must be at least 3.65.

What CPA, CFA, ACCA

Knock whatever you can.

The mobile phone is turned on 24 hours a day, and there is a ringing sound.

As soon as the phone is connected, whether you are awake or asleep, you must tell others.

May I have an interview?

A pure English cockney accent.

Berry wants a proposal.

Add an expensive suit to the wardrobe and use Armani shirts.

A tie costs several hundred dollars.

More than two pairs of Italian leather shoes, Jim design.

Just one word, expensive

A haircut costs 80 pounds.

The classmates around you are either Shen McCann or Morgan.

If you apply for a gold medal,

You are embarrassed to say hello.

How much do you think such a great man has to pay a month?

Anyway, I think it's only about 20 thousand

About 20 thousand, that's all the annual salary is

A thousand dollars of gas, not too small, or before tax.

You have to study students' job hunting psychology.

Students who are willing to get 2000 a month don't care about getting less 1000.

What is a successful job search?

A successful job application means applying for the lowest position, not the best position.

Therefore, the slogan of our job search is not to seek the best, but to seek the lowest.

4. Excellent employees

Just be an excellent employee and ask for work every day.

The work will take at least ten hours.

What coding, testing and documentation?

I did everything I could for him,

Go to work at 6 am and work overtime at night.

The company is full of workaholics.

All work and no home,

When the boss calls, don't worry about anything, just tell them directly.

Can I help you, sir?

With an authentic slave face, Belle wants to be slapped.

Everyone has your contact number.

Your detailed address is on the wall.

Even your mobile phone number is in the toilet,

Bedclothes are left in the company, and they have to be changed 24 hours a day, which is a word tired.

It costs 18000 dollars per moonlight.

The surrounding employees either work overtime until 4 o'clock or 5 o'clock.

If you do more 1 minute.

Even embarrassed to say hello to the boss,

How much do you think such employees cost a month?

Why not? More than 2000, more than 2000.

That was a year! Not too little, that's before tax,

Your research on the working psychology of excellent employees,

Those who are willing to vomit blood 100 yuan don't care how much money they earn.

Do you know what a good employee is?

Excellent employees, no matter what they do, are the most tired and profitable!

Therefore, the slogan of our job search is, not the best, but the most tired!

5. SMS

You must choose the basic operator with the best relationship.

Hire the best customer service,

Black is a number segment user!

The char packet is directly sent to that operator,

The user must deduct at least 50,

What SMS monthly subscription, information on demand, game download?

Register him as much as you can,

I will deduct your monthly fee today and your on-demand fee tomorrow, jC.

After the deduction, start sending text messages to users.

Very comprehensive, very formal,

Once the user turns on the phone, no matter what time it is,

(Son) You have to tell people "reply XX to XXXX to give you what you want most!"

The standard Chinese characters of Yishui have faces!

Get another free portal on wap

The content is lxyes,

There are billions of light streams a year.

Build another free community,

Open 24 hours a day,

Just one word (word) slow,

It takes an hour to change the nickname!

The surrounding bosses are either ivr or iptv.

If you send a multimedia message,

You're embarrassed to say hello,

How many complaints do you think such a company has a month?

I think I'll take 200 anyway!

200 users? That's a province ~

Just going to the information department costs 500 ~

Don't ask too much, don't give them back,

You must study the consumer psychology of users,

Users willing to leave 500 yuan,

I don't care about paying an extra 50 value-added fee.

Do you know what silent users are?

Silent users are subscribed services.

Those who have ordered all the money to be deducted, and those who have not ordered the money to be deducted, send a message.

Therefore, the slogan (sub) of our SP is

Not for the most, but for the darkest.

6. Complaints about SP articles

Be sure to choose the darkest SP.

Hire a talented team,

Book the most opaque business!

The phone bill will be deducted directly,

Deduct at least 300,

What, no charge tips? This is a mass advertisement.

People who spread pornographic information, do your best to register them,

Subscribe to his SMS monthly in the morning and his MMS monthly in the afternoon.

Go to the business hall to make phone calls at night.

Professional, very formal,

As soon as SP's phone calls (son), no matter how much money (son).

You have to tell people: I have evidence of your violation ~

A standard local Mandarin (for children) is twice as decent!

Go to wap of SP and play the game again.

There are no hints below the game.

There are dozens of games a day.

Call ivr when the charging point moves forward again,

You must type 1000 words within 24 hours.

Just one sentence (the child) is tired,

It costs 18 thousand just to listen to the tariff description!

Colleagues around me either invest in credit products or go to the Consumers Association.

If you call 1860,

You're embarrassed to say hello,

How many SPs do you think such users have to complain about a year?

I think I have to pay 200 yuan anyway!

200? It was a customer service meeting,

From 1000 companies,

Don't invest too much and don't invest in credit.

You have to study the psychology of black-hearted SP,

Willing to violate the SP of hacker users,

I don't care about paying an extra two thousand dollars to handle the complaint,

What is a black-hearted SP? Do you know that?/You know what?

Black-hearted SP just has any complaints,

Only dare to give money and dare not apologize!

So the slogan of our professional rights protection is,

Not seeking change but seeking improvement ~

7. Adapted version of the company's annual meeting

Be sure to choose the best server.

Using 64-bit CPU

Just put it in the most upscale computer room.

Welcome to register.

The minimum space must be 2 g.

What tags, Rss, blog search

Give it to him as much as you can

The large font of the website

Put a "beta" next to the logo.

Find a returnee MBA

The kind of person who writes blogs.

As soon as the customer enters the door

Never mind what happened.

You have to tell people.

Web 2.00

A pure English cockney accent.

Belle has face.

The office is looking for a warehouse

You can put a basketball stand.

The rent alone costs tens of thousands a year.

Zaijianyi customer service center

24-hour standby

It is a word "cool"!

The content of the website must be edited by the user.

The content of the website is not beautiful.

It's a handsome boy.

If you don't get erotic.

You are embarrassed to say hello.

You said that such a website

VC, how much do you want to vote for?

I think it will cost 200 million dollars anyway.

200 million dollars! This is the cost!

Start with $400 million!

Not too expensive, no discount.

You have to study the investment psychology of investors.

Venture capital is willing to pay $200 million for investment.

I don't care about paying 200 million more.

Do you know what a successful website is?

How to make a successful website?

Do the coolest thing.

Don't do your best.

So! The slogan of our website is

Not the best, but the coolest!

8. Drivers in Beijing

Be sure to choose the farthest place to work.

Take the most blocked road.

Choose the time when you go to work when you leave.

Go out and go directly to the Third Ring Road.

The fourth lap should be at least half a lap.

Huilongguan West Second Ring Road What Dujiakan?

Give it to him as much as you can

There is a box lunch in the car and a toilet in the back.

There is also a newspaper buyer standing outside the car.

Wear a cap, the bold kind.

As long as the car stops, no matter what's wrong with (son), you must tell others.

Mr. mayihelpyou

A real Beijing accent (children)

Times (children) have face.

Hide when you see a military vehicle on the road.

If you meet gasser, let him.

It takes more than 2 hours from Fuxingmen to Guanyuan Bridge.

If we meet NPC again,

One or two lanes are closed.

Just one sentence (er) >-> block

When you get on the overpass, you have to climb a hundred times

It takes two or three hours for others to go to work.

If you only spend an hour,

You are embarrassed to say hello.

When do you think you have to get off if there is no traffic jam on this road?

I think seven o'clock is enough, right?

Come out at seven, that's death.

Before half past five.

Don't be too early, it depends on whether there are any big goods.

You have to study the psychology of car owners.

Owners willing to leave at seven o'clock

I don't mind being two hours early.

What is a street angel? Do you know that?/You know what?

Street angels just don't care where they go to work.

Choose the most blocked, not the fastest.

Therefore, our slogan as drivers is (son)

Not the fastest, but the most blocked.