At present, every Monday to Friday, we have our own membership day.
Every Monday, member commendation day.
Good book recommendation day every Tuesday
Online question and answer day every Wednesday
Share real books every Thursday.
Online reading club every Friday.
The content of the eighth issue of this online reading club is the eighth chapter of the Regular Law: Family Meeting. This online reading club has 1 1 registered members in the same group, led by two leaders.
First of all, use examples to stimulate thinking.
At the beginning of this online reading club, the leader @ Jingjing Jingjing Jingjing? Let's start with a case: in Beijing, an 8-year-old girl has different views on whether to have a second child. Her mother's opinion is yes. If the policy allows, there will be more people and more joy. Dad's opinion is no, age and financial pressure are all problems. My daughter's opinion is that I want a younger brother or sister and I have a companion. At the same time, parents can take care of them when they are old. In this regard, the family took time to discuss and brainstorm on this matter, and everyone expressed their views sincerely and fully.
It can be said that this is not strictly in accordance with the process of positive discipline family meeting, but it is undoubtedly beneficial for family members to fully express their opinions and discuss solutions.
Discussion: This method is really good. Compared with many families, this is the most harmonious result. And no matter what the result is, at least the boss feels respect and belonging, and also has the right to speak.
Leader @ Li Jun concluded: The basic concepts of positive discipline are kindness and firmness. Personally, I think family meetings are the best and highest form of active discipline.
Case 2: On weekends, the children do their homework and the father cleans. Mother is cooking a family lunch in the kitchen, step by step, from selecting vegetables to washing vegetables, from cutting vegetables to cooking and loading plates. However, I am still very happy to see my work on the table, but sometimes I want to get angry when no one responds at the beginning of the meal: "Don't you feel hungry?" No one will come ",so the original good things were covered with a layer of unhappiness. The actual situation may also be that the child needs to finish a math problem he is thinking about, and the husband needs to finish the last homework and put it away. But unhappiness still happens, and this situation is solved by individuals every time. Is it the solution to the problem? In fact, such problems can be solved at family meetings, that is, the whole family brainstorms solutions together and chooses a solution acceptable to everyone, without judging or criticizing.
The contents of the viewpoint family meeting also include:
Holiday travel plan, weekly breakfast/dinner plan, housework distribution, littering, etc. It can be said that most internal family problems in life can be dealt with by holding family meetings, and positive discipline tools such as active suspension, heuristic questioning, effective use of encouragement and focus on solving problems can also be used together.
I think this is also the reason why the chapter of family meeting is so long, and it is the most important reason for long-term study and practice.
Leader @ Yaya Yaya Summary: Case 1 is a big event for the whole family, and Case 2 is a small event in daily life, which can be used in family meetings.
Participant @ Apple suggested that the focus of family meetings is not to judge or criticize. All the problems that need to be solved can be put into the discussion topic, and there can be no more problems, one by one.
Second, use questions to find answers.
This online reading club is the eighth chapter of the Regular Dharma. Its main content is family meetings, which lead you to throw out some questions and seek answers with you.
1, why do you want to have a family meeting?
Holding regular family meetings is one of the most valuable things a family can do.
Because the meeting that loves him very much can provide opportunities for children to shape their good character and pass on valuable social and life skills, children can learn from family meetings:
1) Listening
2) Brainstorming method
3) Ability to solve problems
4) attitude of mutual respect
5) The importance of keeping calm before solving the problem (you can put the problem on the "weekly proposal list" first, so that you can have a calm thinking period before holding a family meeting to find a solution. )
6) Care for others
7) Cooperation
8)*** Create a safe environment (when you know that the family meeting is to find a solution, not to blame someone, everyone is not afraid to admit their mistakes. )
9) How to choose a solution that respects all family members?
Sense of belonging and value.
1 1) social interest
12) mistakes are good opportunities for learning and growth.
2. Why is the first part of the family meeting to be grateful and grateful instead of solving problems?
Participant @ Zhang Minjuan put forward her own point of view: a core concept of positive discipline: connect first and then correct, and gratitude is also a process of connection. Our cultural tradition is that we are not used to saying words of gratitude and gratitude. When we start talking, we are also expressing gratitude and gratitude to the child, and it will gradually become his habit.
Participant @ Curly Advice: Grateful people will feel that what they have paid will be seen and feel better.
Participant @ Apple's suggestion: It's not easy to really thank you. I remember when we first met and started to be grateful, they were all embarrassed and made me incoherent. But when they heard my thanks, they felt that I saw their efforts, and I felt that they were quite pleased at that time.
Leader @ 个丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 suggestion: We really don't have the habit of gratitude. It was the family meeting that made us change.
Participant @ Zhang Minjuan shared her family meeting about this link:
Thank you at the family meeting last night: Mr. Li said to his daughter, "Thank you. You can forgive dad quickly if he doesn't do well, and you can always observe dad's needs in a thoughtful and timely manner. " Then he held the child in his arms and said, "thank you, baby." It makes people happy to see you. "
@ Zhang Minjuan said: "Every time this link, I will burst into tears."
Actually, I was very moved when I saw this.
Leader @ Li Jun? Summarized as follows:
Family meetings begin with mutual thanks for the following reasons:
1) Mutual thanks can create a positive meeting atmosphere.
2) Children can express their gratitude to other family members by finding suitable words, thus learning to be "discoverers of good deeds".
3) When children regularly attend family meetings that begin with "mutual thanks/thanks", the fighting between them will also be reduced.
4) Let every family member feel the importance of giving gratitude to other members, which will make every family member feel a sense of belonging and value.
5)? At first, gratitude may sound awkward, but it will gradually become natural.
6) A positive family atmosphere is formed when everyone learns to discover each other's advantages and express positive praise to their families in words. However, don't expect perfection. It's normal for brothers to have disputes. When children (parents as well) learn to give or receive gratitude/thanks from others, the tension will be relieved accordingly. Of course, it will be more conducive to promoting a positive family atmosphere to find a solution by holding a family meeting.
It has also been suggested that words of gratitude can be recorded in the form of small notes. Thank you for preparing, observing, recording and drawing in advance.
Leader @ Xihui even shared her family's thank-you/thank-you link: We will prepare a thank-you stick and pass it on, usually starting from the boss and passing it on to those who thank her after the speech, until there is nothing more, the next link will be made, and the boss will thank her on a large scale. Every time, Dad will thank her mother. My mother usually thanks the boss every time, and so does my second child, but there is no reason or incident, just thanks. ...
Third, instill ideas with knowledge.
There are many knowledge points in the book worth studying.
For example, the leader @ li jun put forward the knowledge points in the book:
1. Whether positive discipline methods are effective depends on adults' attitude of mutual respect towards children and their concern for their long-term influence. Regular class meetings and family meetings provide the best environment for adults and children to learn and practice cooperation, mutual respect and focus on solving problems.
2. Family meetings provide parents with the following opportunities:
1) Share control with children and avoid power struggle.
2) Avoid being too careful with children and let them learn self-discipline.
3) Let children learn to listen in different ways.
4) Share responsibilities with each other
5) Establish the tradition of family gathering and create beautiful family memories.
6) Parents should set an example for the skills they want their children to learn.
3, family meeting process:
1) Grateful thanks (can include things that have improved since the last family meeting)
2) Evaluate the implementation of the last family meeting solution.
3) the theme of this meeting (if you can't find a solution, you can brainstorm and seek more ideas)
4) Special activities (family activities, such as travel plans, dinners, etc.)
5) Brainstorm
6) Calendar (record the main points of each meeting, such as special activities, car time, family gatherings and dinners. )
7) Family entertainment
3, family meeting work content:
Recorder: Make sure that one person writes down all the ideas generated by brainstorming. When you look at these ideas after the same day, it will be as enjoyable as enjoying a family photo album! It is very important to circle the methods agreed by each family member and reach a consensus at the family meeting. If no consensus can be reached, put this issue on the agenda and try to discuss it next time.
2) Moderator: Let everyone take this job in turn, so that everyone has the opportunity to be the "person in charge". The moderator should call a meeting, then let everyone start the meeting by thanking each other, and then discuss one by one according to the items in the "Weekly Agenda".
3) Timekeeper: Timekeeper's job is to ensure that everyone's speech is carried out according to the specified time. In this way, family meetings will not be endless and boring.
Leader @ Li Jun summed up the following points, matters needing attention, things to do and things not to do in a successful family meeting:
Participant @ Zhang Minjuan summarized the family meeting process as follows:
Fourth, influence life with life.
The online reading club has launched the eighth issue, and every issue has friends participating. Growth comes with time.
Even one member @ Egg didn't attend the online book club, but after reading everyone's discussion, she also shared her family meeting.
If you are a reading member of Malaysia, come and join us. Every Friday 12: 30, you need to finish reading the book in advance and register in the group in advance.
If you are not a reading member of Malaysia, click the end of the article to read the original text, join the reading community of Malaysia, and learn to raise children with 8000+ mothers all over the country. We will hold our own membership day from Monday to Friday and invite you to participate in various membership activities!