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How to reconcile the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
Ways to alleviate the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1. There is nothing wrong with telling you the truth. You'd better get to know her husband before your mother-in-law comes to your house. Before living with her mother-in-law, many daughters-in-law thought her mother-in-law was still good, but living together was full of contradictions. First of all, we must know that there can be no contradiction in living together. Even if I live with my mother, sometimes I will be unhappy, let alone my mother-in-law. But there are some principled things, such as: you can't get up early, you can't do housework every day, and you and your husband don't have the concept that men are superior to women. Please communicate with your husband before your mother-in-law comes and ask him to tell her in advance. And if in the process of living together, there are some things that you really can't stand, please don't stand it, let your husband talk to your mother-in-law. Let's get this straight. Second, it is right to honor your mother-in-law. Although her mother-in-law didn't raise you, she raised your husband, so since you love your husband, you should understand your son's feelings for his mother, and you should respect his mother with him. You have parents, too Will you be happy if your husband talks back to your parents? So give your mother-in-law a smile and chat with her more. You are good to his mother, and he will be good to your mother. Third, pay more attention to her mother-in-law's daily life. Whether you are modest or putting on airs, you must do superficial kung fu, which will also make your husband look at you differently. I want to buy one for my mother-in-law when I buy something for my mother. How to observe her daily life carefully, hot and cold? What do you want to eat? what do you want to do? Take the time to satisfy her wishes. Unless she is ill, she can't spend you a few dollars. Most mothers-in-law love their sons and even their own lives. She also wants you to be happy and not spend a lot of money. She is old and lonely, and your little concern will make her remember. Fourth, when making suggestions, you should take care of your husband's emotions. When it comes to matters involving her husband's family, especially money, always give advice to her husband, but be sure to take care of his emotions and speak skillfully. Even if you are unwilling, don't say it directly. You should gently reason with your husband, let her know that you are willing to help, but you can't help for some reason, and then make suggestions with more comforting words. But there are some money you can't decide. For example, if your father-in-law is ill, even if you don't give money, people will take money everywhere to treat their father. So since you can't escape, you might as well just take the money and show your willingness to give it to your mother-in-law. This will please my mother-in-law, satisfy my husband, and think more about you in the future. Let bygones be bygones. Living together, there will always be little friction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Let bygones be bygones, and don't dwell on it all the time. If your mother talks about you, you will forget it in two days. To some extent, the mother-in-law is a bit of a parent. She may sometimes love to educate you and listen to a few words if she wants to. If she doesn't want to listen, she will pretend not to hear, and then argue with her. After the debate, it's never a good idea to put on a cold face only when you are still a family. Your husband is embarrassed that your mother-in-law thinks you are not sensible, and you are still angry. This is not a matter of principle, don't be too haggle over every ounce. 6. Don't be too close to your husband in front of your mother-in-law. I have shown this advice to my wife for a long time. Although you think you are used to this kind of communication, old people are old people after all, and they have traditional ideas. Just like in front of outsiders, it is disrespectful to make out with your husband too much. You said this is your home and you can do whatever you want, which is true, but we should pay attention to this aspect. 7. Don't direct your husband in front of your mother-in-law. It's actually quite understandable. On the other hand, if your parents come to live at home and your husband has been bossing you around, what are your parents' feelings? They will think that it is not easy for their daughter to live at home. She is tired. Therefore, my mother-in-law will be unhappy when she sees that you have nothing to do with your husband. My son can't be the master at home, and he is actually bossed around by women. Who won't have resistance? After leaving your mother-in-law's sight, you can do whatever you want, just don't let her see it. Eight, leave some time to listen to her nagging. Many daughters-in-law stay away from their mother-in-law and can't afford to hide. But for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who live under the same roof, hiding is absolutely impossible. Then simply settle down, coax her if she has nothing to do. When she is old, she likes someone to chat with her and listen to her when she has time. She likes to nag, so let her nag. It's nothing more than her son's business Speaking of the difficulty of raising a son and the process of his growth, I listened and echoed two words: "Mom, you are really not easy. Must be filial to you. " Say something nice. What are you afraid of? Just wasting a few words. If you can't do it, it's secondary. At the last moment, it is imperative. You have to make her feel that you and she are family. She has had many daughters with you, not a woman who robbed her son. It is not difficult to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law with your mother-in-law. As daughters-in-law, there are also some problems in the lives of mother-in-law and young people. You can't ask your mother-in-law to meet your standards in all kinds of details of life, and you can't do what they want. Therefore, if two people give in to each other and tolerate each other, and let them feel your concern and consideration, they will naturally tolerate you a lot. If you want your mother-in-law to be good to yourself, you must be good to her first. Although you are not your own mother, you can treat her as your own mother and care for her in a caring way. Whether it is sincere or not, my mother-in-law can see it at a glance. As long as it is sincere, even the picky mother-in-law will be moved. Ten, pay attention to the details Remember some small details in the mother-in-law's life, such as: remember what she likes to eat and send it by surprise. Although it is only a small matter, it can make my mother-in-law feel very happy, and she will always praise you as a caring and understanding daughter-in-law in front of outsiders. How to alleviate the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law II? Ways to ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1. Mutual respect and understanding. To properly handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must first have a correct understanding of this interpersonal relationship. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should recognize each other's independent personality and economic status, and their relationship is an equal interpersonal relationship, not a relationship in which one party must obey the domination and domination of the other. It is very important to realize this. If both parties or one party lacks a correct understanding of this relationship and thinks that the other party must or should obey and obey themselves, and thus regards this equal interpersonal relationship as a relationship of domination and obedience, it will inevitably be manifested in actions and attitudes. Lead to the imbalance between the two sides. Mutual respect between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires both sides to discuss things with the whole family, such as economic expenses and matters involving the whole family, and cultivate a democratic family style; Personal affairs should not interfere with each other, and individuals should enjoy "autonomy". As a daughter-in-law, you should respect your mother-in-law, because her mother-in-law is old and experienced as a housekeeper; A mother-in-law should not always put on airs in front of her daughter-in-law, but should see her strengths and respect her opinions. In other words, the two sides should cooperate and respect each other. After living together for many years, it is inevitable that some uncoordinated things will happen. At this time, it is even more necessary for both sides to understand each other. The so-called "understanding" is to consider the problem from the other side's standpoint. The principles of "put yourself in the other's shoes" and "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" advocated by our ancestors in dealing with interpersonal relationships all contain the idea of understanding, which is the "golden rule" in dealing with interpersonal relationships and is completely applicable to dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. To develop a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both sides need to learn to understand and be considerate of each other. For example, when going to the garden on Sunday, the daughter-in-law should not only go with her husband and children, but also leave her in-laws at home so that her mother-in-law will not feel lonely. On the contrary, the daughter-in-law takes care of her husband more and her mother-in-law less, and her mother-in-law should be considerate. If both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can put themselves in each other's shoes and understand each other when they get along, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be great, but will develop as close as parent-child relationship. 2. Avoid quarreling When there are differences and contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both sides should keep a cool head. Even if one party loses his temper, the other party should restrain his emotional reaction and wait until the other party's mood is calm before discussing and dealing with the existing problems. Psychology tells us that negative and strong emotions can easily make people lose their rationality and lead to the escalation of conflicts; There is also "inertia" in quarreling, that is, once there is a "war" over a trivial matter, there will be frequent quarrels in the future, and over time, prejudice will grow bigger and bigger. Therefore, when one party's emotional reaction is fierce, the other party should remain calm and silent, or look for opportunities to get out and avoid, and then exchange views and deal with problems after the situation subsides. In addition, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have opinions on weekdays, and it is forbidden to talk with neighbors, colleagues or friends. There is a folk proverb in our country: "The more you donate, the less you donate and the more you get." . I'm talking about the bad influence of "passing words" in interpersonal relationships. If the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not in harmony, telling relatives and neighbors will spread beyond recognition, which will only aggravate the contradiction. As a mother-in-law, you should take a warning. As a daughter-in-law, she should have a good relationship with her mother-in-law. In addition to material filial piety, we should also pay attention to emotional communication with our mother-in-law and eliminate psychological barriers. Only timely psychological communication can shorten the psychological distance between the two sides. Therefore, a daughter-in-law should always ask her mother-in-law how she is warm and cold on weekdays. Whenever the elderly are unwell, they need careful care and psychological comfort. 4. Give play to the intermediary role of the son. As mentioned above, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is originally a new family interpersonal relationship formed by the extension of parent-child relationship and husband-wife relationship. The son plays the role of "intermediary" in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As the intermediary point of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he knows the personality characteristics of both sides best. Therefore, sons play a very important intermediary role in dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This function is mainly manifested in: ① sons can help mother-in-law and daughter-in-law communicate psychologically. The so-called "communication" is the psychological and emotional return between people. Through the communication between sons, it is easier for women to eliminate psychological barriers and enhance their feelings. For example, if there are any good things about her mother-in-law at home on weekdays, her son can invite his wife to come forward more, and her mother can buy something for her birthday and ask her to come forward and give it to the elderly. These strategies are conducive to emotional communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. (2) When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, the son can play the role of counseling. Because the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lack the kindness between mother and son. There is no sense of closeness between husband and wife, so it is often difficult to bridge the gap. Through the interaction of sons, psychological barriers can be eliminated and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be reconciled. 5. Don't be too lazy. Mother-in-law likes hardworking daughter-in-law. She can share some housework with her family. If you are just lazy, her mother-in-law will have a lot of complaints. Especially after having children, more and more details need a careful and diligent daughter-in-law. They are experienced people who know the difficulties of being a daughter-in-law, and it is even more impossible to deliberately embarrass them. 6, you can't help but respect your mother-in-law. Your mother-in-law is your elder. You should respect her. Not all mother-in-law are unreasonable. Daughter-in-law may not be very talkative and her temper is relatively straightforward. A careless word can hurt mother-in-law. 7. A lot of communication between husband and wife needs communication, and so does communication between father and son. The number of communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be increased. Because there is a distance between them and their mother-in-law, as elders, they hope that their daughter-in-law can take the initiative to communicate with them, so that they will be closer, so that you will find that their mother-in-law is actually not so picky! How to ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Know how to be grateful and empathetic. Now many people who are daughters-in-law are used to it. Sometimes it is inevitable to focus on your own thoughts and rarely reflect on yourself. In fact, family harmony is really nobody's business. It will be very harmonious to have a daughter-in-law, and everyone will make it. Many people prefer to be good at fighting, raising rice and keeping enemies. If you meet this kind of daughter-in-law, you'd better draw a line. In fact, as long as there is a sincere heart, there will be a running-in foundation, people will change their hearts and everything will be better. The concept of the older generation is far from that of the new generation, and the environment for growing up and living is different. They all need to understand each other and put themselves in others' shoes. Although some principles of getting along are helpful to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the most important thing is to meet a kind and hardworking mother-in-law. After all, the situation is different. If you change people, that is, using these methods, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be good or bad. Discuss and solve problems sincerely. For sons and daughters-in-law to buy a house separately from the elderly, we should fully consider the actual situation. There are several situations to live with your mother-in-law. One is the house that my mother-in-law paid for, which is in line with her mother-in-law's strength. In this case, if she meets her mother-in-law again, life will never be better; But if the husband is a man of his own mind and the young couple buy the house themselves, then the mother-in-law is the investor, and the young couple's life will be better. Whether to buy a house or not needs to be discussed and carefully considered, which leads to the shortage of funds and the turnover is not worth the candle. Obeying yourself actually has a good relationship with your in-laws, and cohabitation will kill feelings. What is the reason? Without national boundaries, there is no freedom. Many decisions are your business. When they came, they were there. For example, if you want to buy a dress and a lipstick, they say you spend money indiscriminately. You want a snack, and they say it's time for dinner. No snacks. You want to buy a beautiful decoration, and they say it will cost money; If you want to sleep late, they must wake you up for breakfast ... Without the freedom of adults, there will be resentment for a long time. In the case that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is unstable, let's move out according to our own ideas! Single-family, not annoying.