I went to summer camp for the first time when I was nine. My mother packed me a suitcase full of books, which seems to me to be a very natural thing. Because reading is the main group activity in my family. This may sound unsociable to you, but for us, it's really a different way of socializing. You have the warmth of an animal, and your family is sitting next to you, but you can also roam freely in your own adventurous world. I have the idea that the camp will be like this, but better. (Laughter) I imagined 10 girls sitting comfortably in a small room reading books in matching pajamas.

When I was nine, I went to summer camp for the first time. My mother helped me pack my suitcase, which was full of books. This is a natural thing for me, because reading is the main family activity in my family. It may sound like you think we are unsociable, but for my family, it's really just another way to get in touch with society. You have the warmth and affection of your own family contact, your family is sitting next to you, and you. You can also wander freely in the adventure park deep in your mind. I have an idea that camping will become like this, of course it will be better. I imagine ten girls sitting in a small room, all wearing appropriate women's pajamas, enjoying the process of reading comfortably.

(Laughter)

(Laughter)

Camping is more like a keg party without alcohol. On the first day, our counselor called us together and taught us a cheer. She said that we would do it every day for the next summer to instill the camp spirit. It goes like this: "r-o-w-d-that is, this is the way we spell rowdie. Noisy, noisy, let's make a noise. "Yes. So I can't figure out why we are so noisy or why we have to spell this word wrong anyway. But I recited a cheer. I cheered with others. I tried my best. I'm just waiting for the time when I can go out and read.

Camping at this time is more like a party without drinks. On the first day, our consultant called us together. She taught us a way to celebrate in the future. After letting the "camping spirit" permeate us every day for the rest of the summer camp, it went on like this: R-O-W-D-I-E. This is our slogan "Noisy", and we sang "Noisy, Noisy, We want to Noisy". That's it, but I just can't figure out what my life will be like. Why do we become so noisy and rude, or why do we spell this word wrong? But I didn't forget to celebrate. I cheer and celebrate with everyone. I tried my best. I just want to wait for that moment so that I can leave the noisy party and pick up my beloved book.

But the first time I took the book out of my suitcase, the coolest girl in the bunk came up to me and asked me, "Why are you so mature?" Mellow, of course, is the opposite meaning of R-O-W-D-I-E. When I tried for the second time, the counselor came to me with a concerned expression. She repeated her views on the spirit of summer camp and said that we should all strive to be extroverted.

But when I took the book out of my suitcase for the first time, the coolest girl in bed came up to me and asked me, "Why are you so quiet?" Quiet, of course, is the antonym of R-O-W-D-I-E. When I took the book for the second time, our consultant came up to me with a worried face. Then she repeated the main points about camping spirit and said that we should all try our best to be extroverted.

So I put my books away, put them back in their boxes, put them under my bed, and they stayed there for the next summer. I feel a little guilty about it. I feel as if these books need me, they are calling me, and I am giving them up. But I really gave them up, and I didn't open the suitcase again until I went home and reunited with my family at the end of summer.

So I put the books away and put them back in their suitcases. I put them under the bed, where they spent the rest of their summer vacation. I feel guilty about doing this every day. I don't know why I felt that these books needed me, but I gave up. I really put them down. I never opened the box again until my family and I got home at the end of summer.

Now, I'll tell you this story about summer camp. I can tell you 50 people like this-I always get this message. Somehow, my quiet and introverted lifestyle is not necessarily correct. I should try to be more outgoing. Deep down, I always think this is wrong. Introverts are excellent. But for many years, I denied this intuition, so I became a Wall Street lawyer instead of the writer I always wanted to be-partly because I needed to prove to myself that I could be brave and confident. I always go to crowded bars, and I really prefer to have a delicious dinner with my friends. I made these self-denying choices subconsciously, so that I didn't even realize that I was making these choices.

Now, I will tell you the story of this summer camp. I can tell you 50 other versions of the story, just like this-whenever I feel this way, it tells me that for some reason, my quiet and introverted style is not a necessity on the right path. I should try more extroverted roles and feel with my heart. This is not right. Introverts are good. That's true, but I have denied this intuition for many years, so I became a lawyer on Wall Street first, instead of the writer I had long wanted to be, partly because I wanted to prove that I could be brave and firm, and I always went to crowded bars. When I just wanted to have a pleasant dinner with my friends, I made these self-denial choices, which was like a conditioned reflex. I didn't even know I had made these decisions.