? The existence of pain is never to make life a joke
From life to death, people are always sinking and floating in the boundless sea of ??pain.
Some people will sink to the bottom until they rot, and some people will tread water until they see through the essence of the sea of ??suffering again and again. In fact, everyone should be able to tread water, but we forget to tread water due to our prejudice and fear of pain.
Pain and happiness, happiness and pain, never exist independently, nor are they incompatible. They are one and always together. There is no absolute in things, and there is no so-called eternity. Good and bad can change each other at any time. The difference only lies in people's perspective and attitude towards it. Balzac said: "Suffering is a stepping stone for genius, a fortune for capable people, and an abyss for the weak."
The pain of illness/fall, the pain of failure/setback , the pain of seeking but not getting/getting and losing again, the pain of life, separation and death, life is full of suffering. Then how can we survive?
Living is boring, so do you have the courage to die?
There is a quote in my mind that I saw a few days ago. I can’t remember which foreign celebrity said it: “When we were children, we thought that when we grew up, we would no longer be fragile. . However, growing up is a process of accepting vulnerability. Living itself is a kind of vulnerability. ”
Yes, the courage to die is rare, and we can only live. Living is more painful than death. Can we live without being content? How can we live with less pain? In fact, we could have lived without having to live in such pain. When it becomes stronger, it becomes a carnival of warriors.
When you get sick, you will know how important health is, and everything will be difficult without it. So I made up my mind to start exercising, exercising, eating, and going to bed early...
If you fail once, you will know that I am not so powerful and omnipotent. So let go of your sense of superiority and arrogance, and start working hard to be down-to-earth...
If you lose something once, you will know that it is not easy to have it. You should be grateful and cherish everything instead of squandering it. So I reflected on myself and started to work hard for the next time with a lower profile...
Being shaken by death once, I know that it is not far away from us, but always accompanying us and coming at any time. So I began to think about impermanence and the true meaning of life...
Even if we just stumble on a raised stone on the road, next time, at least we know that there is a stone here that will trip me. Raise your feet a little higher or walk around...
In fact, this is the meaning of pain.
It is never a bad thing, and it never comes to see you depressed and miserable - it always comes with some truth to remind you what you should do and what you should not do; it also It is never meant to play tricks on people on behalf of fate, but people cannot see its sincerity - because we only have ourselves in our hearts, and we take ourselves too seriously and are so persistent that we always wear armor and are ready to fight back. Any slightest movement is like a knife that will cut through the glass heart.
We want to give ourselves good things and demand good things. It seems that we are protecting ourselves from so-called harm, but in fact we are hurt more deeply - the nutrients in pain at this time are poisonous to people. .
Pain is a violation of conditions for those who do not understand it; pain is a help for those who are good at observing it.
How to make it work for us?
The first thing you can do is to face it squarely instead of just avoiding and dealing with it.
This does not mean that you should always open scars and use blood to remind yourself, but you should see its existence, allow and accept its existence. Because the fact is, it exists, and there’s nothing you can do if you don’t accept it.
When you truly begin to accept it, your pain has actually begun to soften - you have transformed from a person who was struck down into a person who is in control of the situation. Because of acceptance, you can begin to make peace with it. When you become softer, no matter how hard the pain is, it will not hurt you, just like a fist hitting a sponge - the sponge will still rebound as before without leaving a mark.
The next step is to have a dialogue with them and extract the essence and turn them into Taoist uses.
Dialogue with pain is actually dialogue with oneself - introspection.
From beginning to end, "There is no one else outside but yourself" (Zhang Defen's "Meeting the Unknown Self")
You are the protagonist, the controller, and the protagonist of this accident. The sufferer. Everything that has an effect must have a cause, and everything that has a cause must have an effect, and what we want to find is this cause. And this reason is to analyze it step by step through dialogue with yourself until you see the truth of the entire incident.
The reason why you are late is not because there is a traffic jam on the road, but because you did not make complete predictions, ignored the chance of chance, and did not go out early. If so, then there is no need for you to be angry, just think more carefully next time.
You think you will be happy if you have the money and status you want, but you are still unhappy after you have it. So, is the happiness you think not happiness at all? So what is true happiness? How to get it? In this way, you will begin to discover true happiness and beauty.
You think everything is happy and contented, or you think death is far away from us, but when people around you suddenly leave you, when life suddenly passes away. So what is eternal in the world? Is there any permanence? What is the essence of life? What should we really do? In this way, you have the wisdom to make choices and the direction gradually becomes clear.
Sudden loss or other negative emotions without warning, how does it come about? Why do you have such negative emotions? Where are its roots? What is the real reason for your feeling? Is the truth really what you think it is? Where is your mistake? At the end of the day you realize: Oh, that’s not how it should be. In this way, you can be aware and introspective, instead of being led by your emotions.
Wait, wait...
In fact, having said so much, all we have to do is to be aware and accept.
To be aware is to see. See your own shortcomings, accept them, and then make peace with them - don't force yourself to kick them away quickly, because we are not perfect. When you see negative emotions, look at it, accept it, and hug yourself squatting in the corner in your mind - tell yourself that crying does not mean weakness. Seeing yourself being knocked down, pat him and tell him that the experience of failure is the essence, a new beginning rather than failure or the end.
Every pain is just one big or small test in life.
As long as we live, there will be constant examinations. Just like those big and small tests before the college entrance examination, they are not the final results. If you do well in the exam this time, there is nothing to be proud of because there will still be exams. If you do not do well in the exam, there is nothing to be upset about because there will still be opportunities.
So what is the significance of the exam? It is not a test to see how high the score can be and how to show off, but to see what we have not learned well enough; it is not to see how many correct answers we can get, but to help us find out the wrong questions one by one; the exam is never about the result of this time, but For a better start next time.
How you do in the exam is determined by your motivation.
If you regard pain as an opportunity to test yourself, it will be the wave that helps you float, and you will be the wave maker on the surfboard - you are happy and high-spirited; If it is used as a shackle to fetter you, then you will be a pitiful floating object at the bottom of the water, complaining and drifting without strength and direction.
Life is a practice, and our goal is to better ourselves. Pain is not a poison. When we see through the truth of pain and turn the negative circumstances into Taoism, it is the elixir that makes us warriors.