Internet classic funny quotes

1. In order to improve product safety, we decided to print on the cap of the Coke bottle: Please open this end; print on the bottom of the bottle: Please open the other end.

2. Wife, I shouldn’t use bed sheets to shine my shoes, but I just came back from a business trip and I can’t change it for a while. I was wrong.

3. The beauty of a girl’s heart lies in its flawlessness; the beauty of a child’s heart lies in its innocence; the beauty of a strong man’s heart lies in its fearlessness; the beauty of a man’s heart lies in its selflessness.

4. I am not a prince, so why do girls always think that they should be a princess when they meet me.

5. The types of animals are decreasing, but the types of humans are increasing?

6. I bowed to heaven and earth from now on and my wife is angry with me. I bowed to the high hall for her hard work and work for her. From then on, husband and wife bowed to each other and tightened their belts. When they were sent to the bridal chamber, I knelt on the washboard and she slept on the bed. Alas, I was. She is a wolf.

7. The wife follows when she goes out, the wife obeys orders, and blindly follows the wife when she says something wrong; the wife waits for makeup, remembers the wife’s birthday, endures beatings and scoldings, and is willing to spend money.

8. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

9. The scary thing about stupid people is not that they are stupid, but that they are smart.

10. To me, you are a light bulb in the darkness, bread in hunger, a cotton-padded jacket in winter, and ice cream in summer. You are the only treasure in my life.

11. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

12. The salted fish turns over and is still the salted fish.

13. The soft wind caresses the willow branches, and the bees gather the flowers diligently. I want to write a perfect poem, but I have to wait until there is no frog croaking. The sunrise only needs to appear before sunset, and the class only needs to arrive before get out of class ends.

14. Can we find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet directly?

15. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money!

16. Marriage means wearing a cotton coat for freedom. It is inconvenient to move around, but it will be very warm.

17. In confusion, looking for the stars on Baidu. If you don't experience it, how can you know the pain of the moon? There is no choice but to stay away from Bihe for a long time. Suddenly one day, I saw the magpie bridge flying across.

18. The unmarried woman sighed: Why do all good men become other people’s husbands? Someone reminded her: Wives train good husbands by themselves, and no man can be self-taught.

19. There are so many people who despise me, who do you think they are?

Internet classic funny sentences

1. Life is a chess game, I am willing to be a pawn, and I will act Although it was slow, no one saw me take a step back.

2. There may be several women in the world who don’t eat, but there is not even one woman who is not jealous.

3. Goods have expiration dates, and people sometimes get tired of them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

4. Looking at a temple from a distance, looking at our alma mater up close, there are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.

5. When you fart, have you ever thought about the feeling of your underwear? Yes, yes.

6. Don’t be so gentle to me, I will only sink deeper and deeper.

7. Mermaid, I love you, only you will not cheat.

8. The price of graves has risen so fast that I can’t afford to die.

9. I will miss you very much after you leave. Why haven’t you left yet?

10. Today, 10086 sent another message. He still cares about me so much, but I wish he would add "Happy April Fools' Day!" after notifying me that the balance is insufficient.

11. Girls! How can there be so many white horses? Just find a donkey to make do, don't wait until one day all the donkeys are robbed and only a bunch of mules are left.

12. Everyone who says he doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart.

13. When a man is dumped, it’s about money; when a woman is dumped, it’s about appearance. When I was dumped, there’s something wrong with your fucking head.

14. Two tigers, two tigers, falling in love, falling in love, both are male, both are male, so perverted, so perverted.

15. Women tend to yearn for men; men tend to yearn for women.

16. In reality, you use your real name to tell lies, but on the Internet, you use pseudonyms to tell the truth.

17. I would rather be proud and moldy than humble in love!

18. There is a kind of crash called wrong password input, there is a kind of panic called account login from another place, there is a kind of emotion called invisible and visible, and there is a kind of loss called you not having access rights.

19. If you regard me as a game, I will cheat and torture you to death.

20. When I was a child, I loved playing hide-and-seek. After others hid it, I would go home to eat.

21. By the time I understand, I have longed for you so much that it is so unbearable.

22. When there is SARS, grab jealousy, and when there is nuclear radiation, grab salt! Have you ever considered how you feel about soy sauce?

23. When a man is dumped, it’s about money; when a woman is dumped, it’s about appearance; when I was dumped, there’s something wrong with your fucking brain! !

24. Sleep in class, make noise after class, and fail in exams.

25. Many people break into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.

26. I just want to know. , you or 20xx, which one comes first?

27. A woman’s wardrobe is like a harem, with countless beauties but only a few to love.

28. There is no wife in the wife cake, so some people still expect to fish out a wife from the drift bottle?

29. Dare you curse me for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets? I curse you for buying instant noodles only with seasoning packets!

30. Yesterday, I went to the city to participate in the pigeon releasing competition, but I went alone.

Internet Classic Funny Sentences 2

1. I haven’t been in a very good mood recently, and I plan to go to heaven to relax tomorrow.

2. My greatest skill is to use cheap things to produce expensive effects. For example, camera, microphone, myself.

3. My phone hasn’t rang in a month. I took it to be repaired today. The repairman said that the phone was not broken, but no one had called in for more than a month. I immediately knelt down in front of the repairman. , begged him to stop talking.

4. The exam is coming soon. I want to be possessed by Kobe, who scored 81 points in a single subject. I want to be possessed by the Rockets, and I haven’t failed in 22 subjects in a row. I want to be possessed by Tracy McGrady, MD, who can score 13 points in 35 seconds.

5. People are like iron, and rice is like steel. If you don’t eat for a day, you will feel hungry.

6. You are a South Korean, and your whole family is a South Korean!

7. A thousand years of fame will bury you in one lifetime. The exquisite country is ridiculous but has no king's destiny.

8. When I came to this world, I never planned to go back alive.

9. I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late.

10. Classic funny sentences: You look so creative and you live so courageously!

11. Life is like a millstone that never stops turning, crushing hope bit by bit.

12. Finally, the mist and rain from the south of the Yangtze River covered the world. After letting Hua give up, it was only a moment, and the mountains and rivers were silent forever.

13. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick.

14. The Phoenix Tour on the Phoenix Platform broke the promise and left, waiting all night. From then on, thousands of miles away, south and north of the Yangtze River, wept.

15. Classic funny signature: It’s not that the road is rough, it’s that you’re not good enough.

16. How can I kill your lover?

17. I usually never go upstairs because there is an elevator.

18. A bitch will always be a bitch. Even if the economy is in crisis, you can’t afford it.

19. You can’t see my loneliest moments either, because I am only loneliest when you can’t see me.

20. Being a parent is a highly professional profession, but most parents start the job without any training.

21. Hello host, I’m squeezing in the No. 1 bus, and I want to order a song for the girl by the window in front of me, the one by Jacky Cheung, you know, right Yes, with you on the road, I am willing to squeeze in a little bit.

22. It may seem possible, but it may not be impossible.

23. The sunrise only needs to appear before sunset, and the class only needs to arrive before get out of class ends.

24. In bed, practice is the only criterion for testing skills.

25. Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

Classic Internet Quotes

1. Before you even had a chance to get involved, you were plucked out.

2. The night gave me a black mouse, but I used it to play games until dawn.

3. Women use friendship to reject love, and men use friendship to exchange for love.

4. All weekends that are not aimed at sleeping are just hooligans!

5. Be kind to your loved ones, otherwise your heart will stop.

6. Looking at the past, it’s all stuff. Girl, who do you want to live with?

7. It’s not that I don’t dare to kick you, I’m just afraid of dirtying the Nikes on my feet.

8. Without the lazy toad, the swan would be lonely.

9. Our goal: focus on money and make big profits.

10. Not every sorry can be exchanged for being okay.

11. A person who has never loved before is called loneliness. After loving, it is called loneliness.

12. If one day my sister becomes really crazy, please tell others that you will live like a lady.

13. Everything in the past is like death yesterday, and everything in the future is like life today.

14. Don’t foolishly think that the world is as simple as you.

15. Dream, everything is possible.

16. I like fireworks but dare not watch them bloom, because I know that the most prosperous is also the most sad.

17. I go out of my way to protect my brothers, and I go out of my way to help women.

18. Not only do I have a car, I also drive my own car.

19. Without joyful possession, there will be no sad loss.

20. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

21. People are like iron, and food is like steel. Don’t pretend to be depressed all day long.

22. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

23. The wounds I planted myself make me strong.

24. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

25. Wife, Yu Gong came to borrow an excavator!

26. Whatever you do, don’t be emotional. If you do, it’s God’s will.

27. I admit that I have responsibilities, but I do not assume responsibility. This is my responsibility.

28. Don’t use your ignorance to challenge my blacklist.

29. Silence actually has another nice name, called growth.

30. Take it as it comes, and you would be a fool not to enjoy it.

31. The simplest actions explain the most complex things.

32. Tell strangers your true feelings, because they don’t know how strong you are.

33. Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is reserved for the dead.

34. How can I kill you, my love?

35. You don’t want beautiful women, and you don’t want money either. What do you want?

36. The ideal is very full, but the reality is very skinny.

37. When others pretend to be competent, I have to pretend to be experienced.

38. Traveling is to go from a place where you are tired of staying to a place where others are tired of staying.

39. I have always emphasized that you should be low-key. But you insist on giving me applause and screams.

40. If you are not crazy at the age of twenty, you have no ambition; if you are crazy at the age of thirty, you have no brains.

41. A lifetime of tenderness, just for a beauty’s smile.

42. The earth is in motion, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

43. When you are young, remembering is your skill. After middle age, forgetting is your wisdom.

44. If a woman doesn’t push her, she will be dumped easily; if a man doesn’t tolerate her, he will become a jerk!

45. It’s so easy to see everything.

46. Don’t eat vegetables when eating, save money and fall in love.

47. Every happy beginning must have a sad ending before it.

48. The mouse fell in love with rice, the cat fell in love with fish, and even the wolf fell in love with sheep. Who fell in love with me?

49. Happiness is simply breathing. There is no misfortune before breathing stops.

50. There is a saint in France named Joan of Arc. It is true that there are many leftover women in China.

51. The so-called love words mean that you say something that you don’t believe, but you hope that the other person will believe it.

52. Your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

53. I went out yesterday and have been stuck in traffic until today.

54. What is love in this world? The sage replied: Waste!

55. I have been running in the field of hope, although I am occasionally stumbled by disappointment.

56. Remember, I don’t even have to look at you.

57. In the face of facts, the more developed our imagination is, the more unimaginable the consequences will be.

58. Realistic things are not beautiful, and beautiful things are not realistic.

59. Raise your head and smile to cover up the desolation in your heart.

60. Don’t think that meeting me is your fate, it may also be your obstacle.

61. Maybe I just thought too simply at the beginning.

62. In this era, money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money.

63. First love is infinitely better, but it is too late.

64. Wow, you look so archaeologically valuable.

65. In fact, the so-called freedom of a person should be called isolation.

66. In the colorful world, I am too serious.

67. You said you would wait for me to come back, but you did and found someone to wait with you.

68. Ruhua has become so famous, but I am still just a country farmer.

69. When we remove the stumbling blocks set by others, we may be paving the way for ourselves.

70. The most beautiful scenery is the one that rushes away the most, and the truest feelings are the ones that hurt the most.

71. Travel to China/I think it will work. I won’t pay to see if you can do it.

72. Mixed society is a manual job, which requires four skills: moving around.

73. They say silence is golden. Will there be a lot of gold if you remain silent for a long time?

74. When I see you, I feel more confused than visiting a grave.

75. A highly educated, unpaid, nymphomaniac, unmarried older woman who is a social nuisance!

76. If you love, please love deeply. If you don’t love, then I will steal food.

77. The two major tragedies in life: one is despair, the other is complacency.

78. Destiny exists, but some people dare not believe it, and some people disdain to believe it.

79. If memory is poison, then forgetting is the antidote.

80. There is nothing wrong with the mistress. The fault lies in not being able to withstand the temptation!

81. Women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men.

82. There are too many liars and not enough fools.

83. I think China Travel will work, but I won’t pay to see if you can do it.

84. In my world, it’s not your turn to dictate.

85. The so-called gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf.

86. Don’t think that wearing a white shirt means you can pretend to be spotless.

87. I’m not worried about anyone who says I’m fat. I’m just a little bloated.

88. I can’t find you on Baidu, so I have to go to Sogou!

89. If you say you can do it, then you can do it, and you can do it if you don’t.

90. Everything I have is luck, and everything I have lost is life.

91. Nowadays, the otaku who has no house, no car and no girl has a new name: Low-Carbon Brother.

92. No one loves anyone with his hands in his pockets.

93. I have a biological mother-in-law, a fourth uncle and a grandma.

94. I have money, but I just don’t have the time to pick it up.

95. There are four results of breast enlargement for girls; they are not the same. Big difference. Not too big. Not as big.

Famous quotes are used as sentences to warn yourself. I hope the above content of "Internet Classic Funny Quotes" will be helpful to you. If you want to get more famous quotes, you can click on the "Happy Birthday Classic Quotes" topic.