I often hear comments saying that Chinese children have "high scores and low abilities". Chinese children will be unwilling to do anything further because they only know half of it. However, the spirit of the United States to open up the west is that if you only know half of it, you can learn from it. forward. What Chinese students lack is self-confidence and self-reliance.

There is a famous saying in education that says: Let every child raise his head and walk. "Keeping your head up" means having confidence in yourself, your future, and what you want to do. Any person, when he holds his head high and strides forward, there are many subtexts in his heart? D?D "I can do it", "I will definitely achieve my goal", "I will do a good job" ", "Small setbacks are nothing to me"... If every child has such a mentality, he will definitely make continuous progress and become a good student with comprehensive development of morality, intelligence and physical fitness.

Respect and appreciate children

Some people say that a child is a book, and parents are the diligent editors and loyal readers of this book. Parents should be good at seeing from their children's books what they need and what they lack, just like farmers know when to fertilize and water their crops.

Children long for respect, equality, and appreciation. It is very important for parents to appreciate, respect and psychologically protect their children. It can heal their children's psychological trauma, help them overcome their inferiority complex, build self-esteem, self-reliance, self-confidence and self-improvement, and enable them to walk with their heads up.

Zu Chongzhi was a famous astronomer and mathematician in the Song Dynasty of my country. He is famous for his research on the value of pi. He was born into a family of minor officials. His grandfather, Zuchang, was a senior official in charge of construction projects. His father's name was Zu Shuozhi, a civil official who was familiar with scriptures. Parents can see how Zuchang made his grandson hold his head up and walk.

One day, Emperor Wen of the Song Dynasty, who was in power at the time, asked Prince Liu Shao to lecture on Confucian classics in the "Guozi Academy" in order to promote his "extreme intelligence". After Zu Shuozhi heard this, he returned home and handed over his son Zu Chongzhi to talk about how the prince Liu Shao was capable. He said: "Chongzhi, you are nine years old this year. I have to teach you more quickly." Study, and only by reading the classics well can you become a high official, make a fortune, and honor your ancestors!" Zu Chongzhi listened with half-understanding.

From then on, Zu Shuo's godson was very strict in reading the Bible. He often knocked on the table with a wooden ruler in his hand. Under his father's majesty, Zu Chongzhi was crying and very distressed, unable to learn a word. His father was so anxious that his head was sweating and his eyes were burning, but his son still didn't know anything. Zu Shuozhi was so angry that he kept scolding:

"Idiot, stupid cow, you are just a fool, with no future!"

Zu Chongzhi was forced by his father, gritted his teeth and said:

"I don't want to read this book. I have no interest in it at all!"

The father was so angry that his whole body was shaking, and he reached out and slapped his son. After this beating, he burst into tears. Grandpa heard the sound and came over. Shuozhi said to his father: "I beat him for his own good. He can only memorize five or six sentences in three days and can't explain a sentence clearly. If he continues like this, What future prospects will there be?"

Zuchang's face sank and he said:

"There are people who are full of scriptures, but they don't care what books they read. Come on, the descendants of our family don’t want to be slaves to the scriptures! We need to let Chongzhi learn more useful skills in the future. I think our family is very smart. He can usually pick up any new things when he comes home. Make it." With that said, the grandfather took his grandson's hand and left.

Grandpa is engaged in construction. From then on, he often took his grandson with him to the construction site. Xiao Chongzhi saw the workers sweating profusely. Some were digging soil and some were moving stones. The labor scene was really lively. There is the Yunxi River on the opposite side, and there are hills on the other side of the river, with white clouds floating on the top of the mountains... All of this opened his eyes and made everything feel fresh.

Zu Chongzhi met a group of rural children and had a great time playing with them. At night, I was enjoying the cool air with my children and saw the stars twinkling in the sky, but Zu Chongzhi couldn't name them. But those rural children can point to the sky and call out skillfully: That's Altair, that's Vega, and the Big Dipper over there, etc. They can also chant the moon song: "You can't see it on the first day of the lunar month, but there's one on the second day of the lunar month." Line..." This aroused Zu Chongzhi's great interest.

He immediately went to ask his grandfather, who said: "The movement of the moon has its own laws. My dear boy, it seems that you are very interested in astronomy. Fortunately, our family has many books on astronomy and calendars. I will find a few for you to read. Look, if you don’t understand anything, just ask Grandpa, okay?” Zu Chongzhi almost jumped with joy.

From then on, Zu Chongzhi began to study books on astronomy and calendars, and conducted painstaking and in-depth research on the operation of the ladder and the laws of calendars. When I encounter something I don’t understand, I go to my grandfather for advice. The grandfather and grandson cooperate very well. They read Zhang Heng's article "Lingxian" word for word, and grandpa also led his grandson to find He Chengtian, an official who had made great achievements in studying astronomy in his spare time.

In this way, day by day, year by year, under the training and education of his grandfather, Zu Chongzhi soared like a vigorous eagle, and finally made achievements in astronomy, calendar, mathematics, etc., and became An outstanding scientist in ancient my country. Just imagine, if Zu Chongzhi was forced to study the classics back then, perhaps the research on the value of pi would have been delayed for a long time, and another outstanding scientist would have been missing in the history of Chinese civilization. It seems that how to respect and appreciate children is still very important.

◆ Parents should be good at discovering their children’s interests and hobbies, respect their children’s own wishes, and provide conditions for support and guidance.

◆ Don’t force your child’s stubbornness. Although a "stubborn" child makes adults feel impatient, he protects himself well and does not let his self-esteem and self-confidence be frustrated. His psychological development is relatively normal and he is likely to become a confident and accomplished person. .

◆ Guide children to use positive self-language hints and let children actively think about themselves, "I want to think for myself" and "I want to do it for myself." After children undergo self-language hints, they will definitely use their own Ability to achieve self-set goals.

◆ Parents learn to appreciate their children. Some children have no confidence in themselves, mainly because their parents underestimate their abilities or regard their strengths as weaknesses, which makes the children psychologically dwarf themselves.

◆ You might as well give your child a "Strengths Story" and tell him what he admires most about him in the eyes of his father, mother, grandfather, grandma, and teachers, in order to increase his child's self-confidence.

Let children learn to believe in themselves

Self-confidence is the most important psychological quality of a successful person, but it is not innate and must be guided correctly by parents from an early age so that children can learn to believe in themselves .

Most parents do not pay attention to or attach importance to the issue of "self-confidence". They only care about their children's school grades and academic performance. Therefore, when children's academic performance or academic achievements are not satisfactory, they are often severely criticized or punished, which makes the child feel unexplained guilt, thereby destroying his self-confidence, causing the child's performance to become increasingly low and lack of interest in learning. If parents can do some work to help their children learn to believe in themselves, their children will grow up healthier.

During the Western Jin Dynasty in China, there was a famous writer whose surname was Zuo Mingsi and whose given name was Taichong. His home was in what is now Zibo, Shandong Province.

You may not expect that Zuo Si, who later became a great writer, was a stupid child when he was a child. He was ugly and acted clumsily, and was often laughed at by the children around him.

For example, he was slow to understand when he was studying. Even though his classmates understood it, he still didn’t understand. He asked the teacher over and over again, but still didn’t understand. I laughed at it, so I continued to learn it like a gulp, and I became less and less understanding, so that after studying for a year, I ended up being far different from others, and my test scores were very poor.

My father always hoped that Zuo Si could learn knowledge in school like other children. However, seeing this situation, he sighed and said: "This child has poor comprehension and is not material for reading and writing. Let him practice calligraphy hard, and he can copy and write, and he can find a job in the future and have a job."

However, when he practices calligraphy, he is always afraid that his father will scold him if he doesn't write well. When I feel nervous, I can't hold the pen even more well, and my writing becomes awkward. The words I write look like chicken claws.

So, my father thought, this child can’t do anything in writing, so let him learn the drums and piano, play the flute, and make a living by joining others in a band.

However, Zuo Si had no interest in playing drums and piano at all, and he couldn't learn it even better. He didn't want to learn from the bottom of his heart. He often hit the wrong keys and often played the piano out of tune.

The father can no longer think of any solution. This child cannot learn anything and what will happen in the future. But as the saying goes, if God can't starve the blind sparrow to death, let him do it.

One day, Zuo Si was writing and scribbling again. After practicing calligraphy for a long time, he could not see any progress, and he felt very uncomfortable. Although the father felt a little unhappy when he saw that his son couldn't learn everything, he was his son after all. He just felt a little sad, but his love for his son was still very strong. It makes me sad every time I see my children being laughed at and ridiculed by other children of the same age. Now I feel very distressed when I see my child working hard but getting discouraged.

He lowered his head to think, and when he looked up, he saw a mantis climbing up the tree from the root. The mantis climbed up the tree, attracting his father's attention. The father had an idea and thought he could educate his children in this way. He immediately called Zuo Si and asked:

"Si'er, what do you think that is?" The father pointed in the direction of the praying mantis.

Zuo Si looked in the direction his father pointed. He saw a praying mantis dragging its thin legs and climbing up little by little. It took a lot of effort and a long time to climb up. Climb up. My father said:

"The monkey jumped up. Although the mantis cannot be as fast as the monkey, it can still climb the tree little by little. As long as you work hard, you will succeed." After listening to his father's words, he looked at the tree The mantis on the bed, Zuo Si suddenly realized something.

At this moment, Zuo Si saw two birds landing on the treetop at the same time, one small and one big. Of course, the big one flew faster than the small one. He saw , the little bird rested on the treetop for a while and then continued to fly to the tree in front. Although the big bird flew fast, it rested on the tree for a long time, and then also flew to the tree in front. After flying up, the last two birds landed on a tree in front of them almost at the same time. Seeing this, Zuo Si suddenly realized: It turned out that the stupid bird flew first!

Although Zuo Si is still young, he understands his father's intentions. Don't they all look like they have the same head? Why can't I learn what others can learn? If others can learn it, I can definitely learn it too.

The mantis climbed up the tree, but the stupid bird flew first, which made Zuo Si understand the principle of learning. I am not a monkey, nor is I that big bird, but I can learn from the mantis to climb up little by little, and learn from the little bird to fly first. , take less breaks in between. The stupid bird flies first, so I got up earlier than others, reading first and practicing first...

From then on, Zuo Si silently followed this idea, and his academic performance really improved. He read, practiced calligraphy, composed, and did anything. Others pay more. The floodgates of knowledge were opened, his memory and understanding were improved, and he finally gained confidence in learning.

Under his father's active guidance, Zuo Si found confidence and finally achieved the same level of achievement as others, and later even surpassed the average person. Later he wrote "Qi Du Fu" and even faced challenges to complete it. He wrote "Sandu Fu" and became a great writer as famous as Lu Ji, who had become famous before that.

To help children learn to believe in themselves, you can start by letting them do something within their ability, such as starting from the following aspects:

◆ Encourage children to try and do things within their ability. Children have great curiosity and are not afraid of tigers. Parents can guide their children to try and explore while ensuring their safety.

◆ Promptly acknowledge and praise your child’s progress. People's self-confidence sometimes needs external support. If a behavior is affirmed by the outside world, self-confidence will inevitably increase greatly. This is true for adults, but children need more praise.

◆ Consciously let your children take some responsibilities. For example, letting children put away their toys and books, clean, etc. will not only exercise their abilities, but also help them gain self-esteem and know that there are many things "I can do" and "I am capable".

◆ Involve children in arranging family affairs. For example, discuss weekend play plans or recipes for holiday family dinners, and let children participate. Not only can they learn to be independent, but they can also find confidence in life.