There is this sentence in the book "A Dream of Red Mansions": "Knowledge of worldly affairs is knowledge, and understanding of human feelings is writing." It means that if you have a thorough understanding of various things in society, then It is knowledge; dealing with human affairs in a sophisticated and knowledgeable manner is writing. Human life is nothing more than being a human being and dealing with the world. The principle is: do things in a straight way and be a round person. In this regard, Laozi and Confucius are both examples.
Emotion is round, reason is square; square is like practicing righteousness, and round is like using wisdom. Life is like a long-read book. Maybe it's poetry, maybe prose, maybe novels, maybe philosophy.
Life is like a song. Some people read poems forever, some people only read prose that is too dense to dissolve, and some people only read novels. Prose comes in through the door, poetry goes out through the window, novels need to be refined and sublimated, and philosophy makes people bright, thorough, and sophisticated.
Know the world without being worldly, and do something only if you don’t do something. It can be square or round, and it can be stretched in order to bend.
Laozi once said in the Tao Te Ching: "He who conquers others is powerful, and he who conquers himself is strong." Modern society is full of competition everywhere, and there are also many of deception. People are often confused, the timid avoid it, and the foolish commit suicide. In fact, everyone wants to gain a foothold in society, but they are often dissatisfied with reality and have a bad mentality. If this way of living is not handled properly, it may be eliminated by the real society.
There is another kind of person who has great ambitions and pursues his lofty ideals without regrets. Although there are many who succeed, there are also many who fail. We can admire the persistence of these people, but there is no love without reason in the world, and there is no hatred without reason. There must be reasons for the failure of these brave men.
No wisdom? No, no courage? No, no benevolence? Is it meaningless? Is that rude? Don’t believe it? None of them. Although a person has the spirit of a hero and the demeanor of a gentleman, he ends up with empty hands and miserable eyes. It's because there are some key skills missing. Everyone can learn these skills and everyone can do them. But if you want to learn this skill well and do it well, you need to put in some effort and study.
What is this skill? The answer is: Live in a circle.
So, everyone needs to be diplomatic, right? In this way, are all the successful people in the world, including Liu Bang, Liu Bei, Roosevelt, and Wilson, all cunning people? Readers, you may know something, but you may not know something. The word "square and round" mentioned here has two meanings. Just like martial arts, they are both magical skills in the world. Some can make people strong, brave and capable. Some of them are chivalrous and righteous; some of them make people crazy and do evil things. The Tao of "Fangyuan" is profound and profound, which is by no means an exaggeration.
Han Xin got under someone’s crotch. Is this called tact? If not, why take it as an insult? After King Gou Jian of Yue was defeated by Fu Chai, he asked his wife to be a concubine in Wu Palace. Is this called tact? Some people would say that this is just a winning strategy, and that Fangyuan's way of doing things is not about malpractice, corruption, bribery, or opportunism. The Way of Square and Circle is the condensation of the wisdom of life. Its forms are ever-changing and can be called “stretching through bending”. It can also be called "conquering hardness with softness". The greatest courage of the Fangyuan Way is to remain emotionless and remain calm. This means that you are not timid, dare to fight hard, and can get rid of the influence of failure emotions.
To be proficient in the Way of the Square and Circle, you need to experience it calmly in life. You will make rapid progress while learning and practicing. There is a degree of flexion and extension, and wisdom in life
There is a famous saying: A real man can bend and stretch. To be able to bend means to be able to wait quietly when the objective situation is not favorable to oneself; to be able to stretch is to be able to take advantage of the situation when the external environment is favorable to oneself. Being able to bend and stretch is a virtue of human beings, and being able to bend and stretch is a method and principle for people to live in the world. In real life, progress can be made easy when things go smoothly, and things can be difficult when things go against you; things can make things easy when things go against you, but things can be difficult when bending or stretching. In the "Book of Changes", special emphasis is placed on knowing how to advance and know how to retreat, knowing how to survive and knowing how to lose, and knowing how to know how to lose.
The flexion and extension referred to in the "Book of Changes" refers to the coming and going, the movement and stillness, and the movement and induction between the coming and going, movement and stillness. This is true in nature, and humans are no exception. Everyone knows the benefits of stretching, but does not know the benefits of bending.
Bending and stretching are also the unity of advancing virtue and achieving practicality. Flexion is the basis of extension, and extension is the completion of flexion. If there is no flexion and extension, then there will naturally be no change, and there will be no human growth and perfection. Only when the two are harmonious and unified can we accumulate wealth and gain a foothold. In terms of the mutual understanding of flexion and extension, one flexion and one extension is also called "communication". "Endless exchanges" means to create changes, and to be harmonious through change is to achieve a reasonable and goal-oriented life.
Having said this, we also need to clarify an issue. In real life, when it comes to flexion and extension, it always seems to give people a "smooth" feeling. What needs to be mentioned in particular is "submission", which seems to mean compromising on a matter of principle. In fact, this is not the case. "A real man can bend and stretch." What is a "real man"? It means "living in the world, establishing the right position in the world, and walking the great road of the world. When doing things, you can follow the people; if you don't have ambitions, you can go your own way." Wealth and honor cannot be licentious, poverty and lowliness cannot be moved, and power cannot bend." For such a man, his surrender cannot be called an unprincipled compromise. A real man can spot opportunities and make appropriate sacrifices. Once the time comes, he can quickly find his position and stretch himself.
Therefore, flexion and extension are the best combination of self-improvement and virtuous spirit, as well as the organic unity of moral cultivation and practical application in the world.
The flexion and extension mentioned in the "Book of Changes" is from heaven to human affairs. It shows that flexion and extension are not only ubiquitous phenomena in nature, but also an indispensable wisdom of life for human beings. The alternation of the sun and the moon produces light, and the changes of cold and heat produce the years. This is the surrender of heaven. When the inchworm flexes and stretches, it causes movement; when the giant snake hibernates, it preserves itself. These are the flexion and stretch of animals. When the essence is absorbed into the mind, its effectiveness will be manifested; when it is used to settle down, it will be respected and widely spread. These are the extensions of human nature. However, because the way of heaven naturally "encourages all things and does not share the sorrows of the saints," human flexion and extension not only require moral cultivation, but also intellectual ability. flexion and extension are the unity of advancing virtue and achieving practicality.
Freedom of bending and stretching is a kind of wisdom in life. Today's modern life is full of battles of wisdom. In the face of social pressure, we should not be stubborn, and of course we should not retreat blindly. We should use our own life wisdom to fight for it and find our own life in the gaps. You must be able to bend and stretch, you must accept grievances appropriately, and you must strive for it slowly. This approach may seem soft, but it has long-lasting and firm power. As Lao Tzu said: Water is weak and conquers all things. If you rush forward blindly, in the end you may be beaten to a bloody head and many relatives will be injured along with you, or in the end you may be unable to hold on to anything and lose.
In addition, don’t forget to give life an arc. Someone once tried to put a thin, smooth piece of paper on the table and stand it up. However, he spent a long time and failed to achieve his goal. Later, he accidentally rolled the paper into a tube and played with it in his hand. Afterwards, he unfolded the paper and found that the paper formed a very small arc that could not be easily eliminated. When I put the paper upright on the table, it stabilized easily. Obviously, the reason why the paper can stand upright is because it has a small arc. The existence of this arc expands its support surface and its balance point, making it possible for the paper to stand upright. If it is a chopstick that would rather break than bend, it may not be easy to stand it up on a smooth table. For chopsticks, the balance point as big as the chopstick head is inherent and cannot be expanded. To realize the erection of chopsticks, unless there are other external conditions, such as sticking the bottom, external support, or inserting it into the soil or sand. The original properties of chopsticks determine that it is difficult for them to have their own curvature, so it is difficult for chopsticks to stand up on their own curvature like that piece of paper. This is where chopsticks are not optimistic.
Isn’t that the same as being a human being? A person who is upright and unyielding, no matter how talented and capable he is, will often encounter more setbacks and failures in his life journey; on the contrary, a person who can bend, stretch, advance and retreat A person who may be mediocre in other aspects, but on many occasions he can feel like a fish in water, appearing to move freely and with ease. The advantage of his life is that it just provides his life with an arc that he can stand on.
So we have to give life an arc, so that our life will win more opportunities to stand up.