Mencius, as one of the founders of Confucian culture, has influenced China for thousands of years and still affects our lives. Yang Zhenning, the Nobel Prize winner, once said: "After thirty years old, I will rely on Mencius for my whole life." What is the foundation of life in this world? What is the source of happiness? What useful enlightenment can we get from Mencius today? How to learn his wisdom? Teach us how to be a man with stories around us. In Mencius, in addition to expounding the truth of governing the country by self-cultivation, there are also some stories that happened around Mencius to teach us how to be a man. For example, the way of teachers and friends, making friends mainly talks about "birds of a feather flock together, and people are divided into groups." Mencius also said an eternal famous saying: "wealth can't be lewd, poverty can't be moved, and power can't be bent." This is called a gentleman. " 1. What does "obscenity" mean? Eat, drink and be merry, as most people do. But no matter how rich a gentleman is, he will not give up his principles and indulge in pleasure. Second, most people change their ambitions when they are poor. It is good to make money without adhering to principles, but a gentleman is "too poor to move." The third kind of "mighty and unyielding" will not yield under any threat, which is called a gentleman. Mencius said, "Father and son are close, monarch and minister are righteous, husband and wife are different, young and old are orderly, and friends have a heart." On this basis, later Confucianism developed "benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom and faith", pointing out that the five permanent members are the basic principles for dealing with interpersonal relationships. Who doesn't want to live the value of life? Who doesn't want to be a gentleman? Rereading Mencius today, we may be able to get a glimpse of the whole leopard and realize a good way to cultivate self-cultivation. Mencius' principle of "being kind to others" is often used today. Mencius believed that only Shun, who is kind to others, can truly enter the highest realm of life and become a model for others. Mencius said, "Luz, people are happy to tell them that they already have it." Jade, if you hear something nice, just worship. Dashun is thoughtful and kind to people. He gives himself to others and takes pleasure in others. Planting crops, making pottery, fishing, and even being an emperor are nothing more than taking from people. Treating others as good people means being kind to others. Therefore, a gentleman is nothing more than being kind to people. The meaning of this story is: "Luz, when others point out his mistakes, he is very happy." Yu always praises others when he hears their kind opinions and suggestions. Dashun is even more extraordinary. He is good at keeping up with others, abandoning his own shortcomings and absorbing the strengths of others to develop his own good deeds. From farming, pottery making and fishing to becoming an emperor, Shun never learned any advantages from others. Absorb the advantages of others to develop their own good deeds, which is to do good with others. Therefore, the noblest virtue is to be kind to others. Mencius believed that our feelings, time and energy are limited, so we should prioritize. And people need to find a stable mode of getting along with each other in order to maintain a harmonious relationship for a long time. Mencius is called a "saint" because Confucius is "the most holy". But this title is not like the Olympic gold medal and silver medal, because they live in an era separated by 100 years, and they are actually unique in their respective times. In fact, Mencius doesn't like a person to stick to a principle all his life, because the changes in life are very complicated. The fundamental principle is sincerity and compliance with social norms, but the expectations of the other party are flexible, and our actions must be truly beneficial to others. When dealing with people, you should express Li Lou flexibly. He said, "My Lord, you don't have to believe what you say. You don't have to do what you do. You just have to be honest." It means "a virtuous person doesn't have to keep his word, and his behavior doesn't have to be carried out from beginning to end." Mencius meant to warn people to be flexible, not to break their promises, and to put morality first. Mencius particularly emphasized flexibility. Confucianism has principles, but it should also consider the specific situation and take expedient measures. There is an old saying that "observing classics makes achievements". "Static" is unchangeable, and we should abide by the basic principles. "Force" is change, and we can understand the meaning of change. A man named Chunyu Kun deliberately asked Mencius, if his sister-in-law fell into the water, could his brother-in-law reach out and save her? Today, we will find this question ridiculous, but in ancient times, there were strict rules that men and women were not allowed to give or accept. On the one hand, it is "giving and receiving", on the other hand, it is "do you want to save people". What should I do? Mencius said to Chunyu Kun, if you don't pull her, it's like a jackal. It's cruel. Even a woman I don't know should lend her a helping hand, let alone her relatives. You must not save it! Chunyu Kun said, now people all over the world are drowning, why don't you reach out and save them? It means asking Mencius to be an official and help the people. Mencius replied that all people in the world are drowning and should be saved by Tao. Do you want to save all the people in the world with my hands? One person's strength is limited, but Tao can save more people. Don't be "strict with yourself". The most important principle of Mencius' life is not to be strict with himself, which means that he can never be strict with himself, but can do whatever he wants and measure the world with two sets of standards. There is a story about pot calling the kettle black, which comes from the dialogue between Mencius and Liang. Mencius said, "When weapons are connected, abandon your armor and drag your troops away, or stop after a hundred steps, or stop after fifty steps. Pot calling the kettle black. " The famous sentence comes from Liang, and the story goes like this: Liang said to Mencius, "I have tried my best to govern the country." When Hanoi was hit by the disaster, I moved the victims to Hedong and transferred food aid from Hedong to Hanoi; Hedong has suffered, and so have I. Look at my neighbors, none of them have done their best like me. But their number has not decreased, and my number has not increased. What is the reason? Mencius replied, "Your Majesty likes to fight, so please let me use war as an analogy. Drums blare and swords collide. The defeated troops abandoned their helmets and armor, dragged their knives and guns, turned around and fled. Some soldiers escaped a hundred steps and stopped, while others escaped fifty steps and stopped. Do you think it's okay to laugh at those who have escaped fifty steps and those who have escaped a hundred steps? "The beam said," no, they just didn't escape to one hundred steps. They also escaped from the cold! " Mencius said, "Since you understand this truth, don't expect your people to be more than those of neighboring countries." To be strict with others is to be strict with others. To be lenient with others is to let your behavior be unconstrained. "Being strict with yourself" is a kind of personality defect and an invisible killer who destroys interpersonal relationships. So always be vigilant. Source: Enlightenment and Wisdom, last issue.