"The so-called high emotional intelligence means being able to speak", this is a practical book that teaches you to improve your emotional intelligence and communication skills. "Expression has the power to change lives." This sentence may sound like an exaggeration, but in fact it is not an exaggeration at all. Whether you are interviewing, selling, reporting on work, chatting with family and friends, or falling in love with your significant other, you need to be able to speak. Not being able to speak may cause you to miss millions of orders every minute, or it may make you offend important people. However, appropriate and clever expressions can not only help you get out of trouble, but also win people's applause. To give an example in life, for example, if you want your family to help you clean the house, many people will say: "Go and throw away the garbage!" But as a result, when faced with this commanding tone, when the other person is in a good mood, Maybe help, but if the other person happens to be in a bad mood, either you will be rejected or a family war may break out. At this time, if you change your words: "Take out the trash or clean the bathroom, you can choose one to help." It gives the other party a choice and your tone is gentler, and the family will naturally do the easier "throwing out the trash" . This is the charm of speaking - different expressions can convey different emotions and bring completely different feelings to the other party, resulting in different communication effects. Those who can talk can talk to anyone, are more popular, and are more likely to get things done; while those who are honest and dull often suffer because they are not good at speaking. Although everyone agrees that gold will definitely shine, but compared to people who don’t know how to express themselves, people who are good at speaking can often shine with excellence earlier, so why not? Next, the book "High EQ means being able to speak" that I want to share with you is an excellent guide for you to master communication skills and improve your speaking level. It is the most popular interpersonal communication book in Japan. It is also the employee training material designated by many world-renowned companies. The author of this book is Keiichi Sasaki. He is Japan's top communication expert, advertising genius and copywriting master. He became the first Japanese to win the "Golden Pencil Award" of the American advertising award for his discovery of the touching mysteries of language. He is regarded as the most successful advertising planner in Asia, having won 51 awards in Japan and abroad. Keiichi Sasaki's own work experience is very inspiring: when he first became an advertising copywriter, he was often unable to complete work tasks because he was not good at expressing himself, and the company even began not to assign him work. Frustrated, Keiichi Sasaki learned from the experience and took the initiative to seek change. He began to excerpt novels and famous aphorisms. After a large number of excerpts, he discovered the touching "laws of language". From then on, he embarked on the path of exploring communication skills, summarized a set of secrets, and gradually became Japan's top communication expert. So far, Keiichi Sasaki has given more than 300 speeches on the theme of "communication" for many well-known Japanese companies and institutions, including Toyota Motor, helping many people solve communication problems and changing their lives. . He has also hosted many programs on Japan's NHK TV, Nippon TV, and TV Tokyo. In this book, "High EQ means being able to speak", the author Keiichi Sasaki summarizes the communication wording skills he has mastered over the years, and shares in detail the "7 breakthrough points" and "8 skills" for being able to speak. Through a large number of specific examples, he will guide you step by step to improve your speaking skills and become a master of communication, allowing you to feel the huge changes brought about by being able to speak. In fact, speaking is like cooking, there is a recipe to follow. The book "High EQ means being able to speak" is a simple, easy-to-understand, and easy-to-operate recipe for speaking. When you first start learning, you have to follow the recipes to cook. After you master the skills, even You can make all kinds of delicious dishes without recipes. I divided the essence of the book "High EQ means being able to speak" into four parts. The first is how to use three steps to turn NO into YES; the second is the "7 breakthroughs" to improve the success rate of communication; the third is how to turn NO into YES in three steps; It is the "8 skills" to create impressive famous sayings and aphorisms; the fourth skill is the introduction, and the real improvement of speaking level depends on practice. Three steps to turn NO into YES. First of all, I want to introduce you to a point of view: language expression has the power to change lives. According to statistics, each of us has to ask others an average of 22 times a day, whether it is to family members, loved ones, colleagues, leaders, or even strangers such as service staff and passers-by. Sometimes we will get an affirmative answer of "YES", but sometimes You will also be rejected by the other party and hear a "NO".

These two completely opposite results may simply be due to your wording. Then, if you master the speaking skills of high emotional intelligence, you can turn at least 1 out of 22 "rejections" into "yes." Don't underestimate this change. Over time, you can achieve at least 1,000 changes in three years. So many rejections have turned into promises. Won't your life change as a result? To give a simple example, if you have ever taken care of children, you will know that when they are three or four years old, they will have some rebellious psychology. Imagine that on a road with cars coming and going, the traffic lights finally change and pedestrians can pass. You want to hold a child's hand across the road, so you urgently order him: "It's dangerous here, come and hold my hand." ! I'll hold your hand across the road!" But he kept being awkward, neither daring to cross the road alone nor holding your hand. Seeing that time was passing, the traffic lights were about to change again. What should you do at this time? You can say something like this: "I'm scared to be alone. Can you hold my hand and cross the street together?" I believe the child will reach out his hand right away. Because, although children are still young, they sometimes want to be treated like adults. If you give in to him and recognize him as a "little adult", the situation will be reversed in an instant. Whether it's love, work or family, more recognition and acceptance always means more success. Don't underestimate the power of speaking. To change your life, start by changing every word you say in your daily life. Next, we enter the practical stage and talk about the three major steps to get others to agree to your request. The author of this book, Keiichi Sasaki, points out in the book that the more important the moment, the greater the impact of language expression on the results. You may say: "I also know that being able to speak is important, but isn't language ability innate? I have been clumsy and tongue-tied since I was a child. What should I do?" In fact, you don't have to worry. There are indeed many people who have this ability. Although ordinary people are gifted in language, they can still become fluent speakers through acquired practice. Former British Prime Minister Churchill had a stuttering problem when he was a child, but he did not give up. After long-term diligent practice, he became a world-famous speaker. Because language itself has its own set of rules, if you want to speak appropriately and want others to agree to your request, there are ways to help you achieve it. Let’s take a look together below! Step one: Don’t speak your mind directly. A common phenomenon that deserves reflection is that many people are polite and polite in front of strangers, and use tactful words when making requests; but when facing people who are close to them, such as When parents, lovers, or children are children, their words are always simple, direct, and even a little rude. Requests often turn into orders. When both parties are angry, quarrels will occur while talking. For example, when cooking at night, you stir-fry a large plate of green vegetables. The portion is much larger than usual. It would be a pity to throw it away before you can finish it, so you hope that your family can eat more. At this time, if you directly say: "Eat more vegetables! Let's finish the vegetables together!" There are two kinds of reactions from your family. One is to listen to your words, be a little thoughtful and eat more; the other is simply to Not listening to you and being completely indifferent makes you very helpless. What's the problem? Let’s first analyze what you said. Generally speaking, people tend to speak out their thoughts without thinking. Moreover, for those people with whom we feel psychologically secure, such as family members and lovers, we feel that they will agree to all requests and speak unscrupulously. But in fact, such a direct way of speaking will not only have little effect and will backfire on you, but will also cause the other party to feel resentful and unwilling to accept your request. Moreover, if this simple and crude way of speaking is used on colleagues, leaders, or even customers, then the label of "cannot speak" may even affect your career. In fact, the root of the problem is that your words only reflect your personal thoughts and have nothing to do with others, and no one likes to be dominated by others. Therefore, when we ask others to do something, if we want to get a YES answer, the first thing we must learn is not to directly express our thoughts. What should I say? Let’s take a look at the second step: try to figure out the other person’s psychology. This step is very critical. It serves as a link between the previous and the following steps in turning NO into YES. Specifically, this is actually what we often call "speaking to the other person's heart." It requires you to think carefully and quickly before speaking out your thoughts, and to think about it from the other person's perspective. .

First of all, you have to judge, if you directly state your request, what is the chance that the other party will agree? If the probability is high, just say it directly; if you are not sure, then stop and try to figure out the other person's psychology first. This speculation includes the other person's thoughts, personality, likes and dislikes, living habits, etc. Let’s take the example of eating vegetables! Your idea is to let your family eat more vegetables to avoid wasting them, but what do your family members think? You have to try to guess first. It should be something like "I don't want to eat only vegetables" or "I want to eat other vegetables". At this time, you should temporarily forget these thoughts of your family and start thinking about things they like or fear. It is best to find a point that can arouse everyone's enthusiasm, such as health. Everyone wants to be healthy, and no one wants to get sick, especially during flu season, when no one wants to be infected. Now, through speculation, you have found a breakthrough to change your family's actions, then you can move on to the next step. The third step in getting others to agree to your request: What you say must be in the interests of the other person. When you ask for help from others, when is it easier to get help? Except for the fact that the other party has noble qualities like Lei Feng or has deep feelings for you, the rest is nothing more than driven by interests. To put it simply, because this matter is beneficial to me, I am willing to agree to your request. Especially in business activities, it is easier for both parties who pursue the ultimate win to reach an agreement. A salesman can sell products faster only if he makes customers feel that the product is very useful to them. The same principle applies to speaking and expression. Let’s continue looking at the example of eating vegetables. You want your family to eat more vegetables, but they don’t really want to eat them. At the same time, they are afraid of getting sick. At this time, you can connect your interests of "eating vegetables" with your family's interests of "not wanting to get sick." Through words, let them Families arrive at ideas that are in their interest. You can say something like this: "The doctor said that eating more vegetables can prevent colds!" At this time, the family will think: If eating more vegetables can keep me healthy, then I might as well eat more. In this way, it not only solves the problem of possible leftover vegetables, but also does not cause resentment in the family. More importantly, it is also a healthy living habit! It can be said to be "killing three birds with one stone", and to achieve this, it only takes three steps. The above are the three major steps to turn NO into YES. They are: don't speak your mind directly, figure out the other party's psychology, and consider the other party's interests. Okay, that’s it for the first part of the book “The so-called high emotional intelligence means being able to speak”. Let me summarize it for you: First of all, the author tells us: the way of expression has the power to change life. We all hope to get a positive answer when we make a request to others, and clever language expression can help you. Although there is no guarantee that others will agree to you 100%, "being able to speak" can at least help you improve 2 —30% success rate. Don't underestimate this little change. Over time, the power of language will play a huge role and be enough to change your life. Secondly, the author introduces the three steps to turn NO into YES, that is, to get others to agree to your request. The first step is not to express your thoughts directly or arouse the resentment of others; the second step is to try to figure out the other person's psychology and find out the interests that the other party cares about; the third step is to combine your request with the other person's when speaking. interests combined. Through these three steps, you can finally form words with high emotional intelligence, which can increase the chance of the other party saying YES and make them agree to your request.