For a man to be obedient, he must first learn to speak. In your daily life, you can't play with your temper, you have to use your brain, you have to be smart, and the most important thing is to manage your mouth. Below is some information I compiled for your reference on what women say and what men like to hear.

How do women speak so that men like to listen (1)

Women’s speaking skills: In marriage, a woman who can speak will never get divorced

Poor communication It is the most destructive form of cold violence in marriage

A wife told me that she and her husband could no longer get along and their marriage had come to an end.

I asked: Why?

She said: We quarrel every day.

I asked: Did he quarrel with you?

The answer was: No, he didn’t let me go at all. That's what annoys me.

I say that the vitality of your marriage is still strong, and it is far from dying. If one day you are too lazy to even argue, then it will really be the end of your life.

Although quarreling affects the relationship between husband and wife and is not good for maintaining a marriage, its lethality pales in comparison to lack of communication. As long as two people are still talking, there is still room for saving the marriage. But when two people are silent and no one cares about the other, there is very little room for saving the marriage.

Nowadays, with the improvement of people’s cultural and educational levels, physical domestic violence is becoming less and less, but cold violence is increasing day by day. Among them, poor communication between husband and wife is the most devastating domestic cold violence. .

Marriage should be happy and sweet, but sometimes it is not as happy as imagined. The two people who were close to each other before marriage seemed to have endless things to talk about once they met; when they couldn't meet each other, they picked up the phone and could chat for hours without even realizing it. But once they entered the palace of marriage, as the days passed, amidst the symphony of pots and pans, the two people who were originally inseparable gradually began to talk less, and the warmth and romance of the past also disappeared. This was all because of Bu It is caused by ineffective communication or poor communication between married couples.

28-year-old Shanshan works in the subdistrict office, while her husband works in a large and profitable company. The only drawback is that her husband often has to work the night shift. He often comes back from get off work when she has to leave for work. Before she gets off work, her husband has already left for work. This often makes Shanshan feel that her home is deserted. A year after getting married, they had a lovely son. The birth of their son suddenly made their dull world lively. The husband loves the child very much and does his best to take care of her. However, compared with before marriage, the communication between them has become less and less. It seems that the two of them are always busy with their own affairs.

? If you have anything to say, let’s talk about it tonight!? If there’s anything to say, let’s talk about it tomorrow! Whenever Shanshan wants to talk to her husband about what’s on her mind and have sex, her husband always does this to her. Even if I want to say a few more words to my husband while eating, my husband will say without interest: "Oh, let's talk about it after eating!" But after eating, I don't know what else to be busy with, and I just want to do it on a whim. The topic she wanted to talk about was dropped, which always made her good mood turn from sunny to cloudy.

In this way, the young couple who had just been married for more than a year spoke less and less in common. Gradually, home became an inn for rest, just a place where you could stay when you were tired or sleepy. She didn’t understand, what happened to them who were so close and talked about everything before they got married?

? If you keep doing this, let’s get divorced!? Finally, their conflicts came to light again in her husband’s eyes. ?Let's talk about it tomorrow. Shanshan's words surprised and saddened her husband. As a husband, he feels that he loves his wife and this family. He didn't understand why his wife wanted to divorce him because of a trivial matter. ?We have to go to work separately, we have to repay the house loan, we take care of the sick elderly together, and share the housework? I am also working hard for this family, what did I do wrong? Shanshan's husband is full of grievances.

Shanshan no longer had any hope for their marriage. She said that the suffocating atmosphere made her worse than death, and she did not want to continue living like this.

Just like the Shanshan couple’s marriage, many families around us that seemed to have no conflicts have disintegrated, and many non-noisy and harmonious neighbors have automatically disbanded. This is all about communication. Caused by poor flow. There are many reasons for this. For example, like Shanshan and her husband, the difference in work and rest time between husband and wife reduces the opportunities for communication between each other. In addition, differences in personality, interests and value orientations can also cause couples to have nothing to say. Because they have few topics to talk about, they don’t like to communicate. The less they like to communicate, the more alienated they become, which eventually leads to emotional rifts. This situation is very likely to occur between couples whose working environment, family background and cultural literacy are too different.

Although it is an objective rule that the communication between husband and wife will gradually decrease after marriage and be replaced by pots and pans. Especially after the birth of a child, the pace of life is not only chaotic, but also everything from the love period to chatting. When there is nothing to talk about, the quality of life is seriously reduced, but as long as two people have a sense of communication in their minds, divide housework reasonably, pay attention to the sharing of souls, and communicate proactively, it will not be possible to create a happy marriage life. question.

One thing that needs to be pointed out in particular is that you should never analyze your spouse’s inner world from a rational perspective. Instead of using "Strange, why do you think this way?" or "This is wrong for you to think like this", use "So, this is what you think" to understand the other person. Don't talk about right and wrong, right and wrong, the focus should be on understanding, listening and accepting. If you develop this habit, over time, your husband and wife will have endless things to talk about.

Only by taking the initiative to talk to your lover about your feelings and listening carefully to your lover's feelings can the couple experience happiness, feel love, increase security, enhance intimacy, and jointly create a happy marriage.

Men like to listen to what women say (2)

Women’s speaking skills: Those who can speak are good sweethearts

Nietzsche said: If you want to date a woman, please hold on to the whip in your hand.

I said: Do you want a man to listen to you obediently? Please pay attention to your language and tone.

Any woman who gets married dreams that God will give her a man who can behave well at home and be obedient to a certain extent. Only by living with such a man can you live a nourishing life.

It’s just that whether a man behaves well or not depends entirely on whether a woman can speak out. If you are a woman who cannot speak, no matter how talented your man is, you will still force him to rebel. If you are a talkative woman, even if your man is naughty, he will become useful to you.

Don’t believe it? Then let me play back two family tragicomedies for you:

Situation introduction: My wife came back from work and saw her husband cooking at home. He only made a dish of braised pork ribs, and there was no My wife is not satisfied with green vegetables. But it is also dissatisfying. Please look at the difference between those who can speak and those who cannot speak. Family sitcom: Talking Wife, Obedient Husband Husband:

Wife, is the braised pork ribs I made today delicious?

Wife: Honey, it’s delicious. If you can add some green vegetables, then you will be a master of state banquets!

Husband: Wife, I will do it now.

Ending: The wife waits sweetly, and the husband happily works in the kitchen.

Tragedy of family situation: wife who cannot speak, disobedient husband

Husband: Wife, is the braised pork ribs I made today delicious?

Wife : No more dishes?

Husband: No more.

Wife: Don’t you know how to make green vegetables to eat with it? The ribs are so greasy, you only know how to eat meat, you are a vulgar person!

Husband: I have always been a vulgar person, you couldn’t see it back then Yeah? You have to find me?

Ending: The wife was so angry that she turned over the table, and the husband was so angry that he beat his wife.

If the family is compared to a company, the layout we women desire is undoubtedly this: we are the bosses and men are the employees. Employees must listen to their bosses, and they are the boss.

However, no boss is 100% satisfied with his employees. Some of them don’t know how to mix nutrients when cooking; they mess up the hygiene at home and don’t know how to take the initiative to clean up; they can’t wash dishes. Do not know how to clean clothes; do not know how to sort clothes to dry and iron; do not put used things back to their original places; do not know how expensive and bad shopping is when buying gifts; forget various anniversaries and lack romantic expressions?

In this case, the bosses feel surprisingly similar: dissatisfaction, anger, resentment. When most women feel hopeless in marriage, according to their different personalities, they can be divided into two basic types: the sighing resentful woman type and the Hedong lion roaring shrew type.

The resentful wife type: Complaining endlessly day and night. Although this kind of complaining is invalid, they never tire of it. The result is that the more women complain, the more rebellious men become. Discord.

Shrew type: She yells at men like a mother scolding her children, speaks rudely, hurts each other with harsh words, and even punches and kicks. The result is that the crazier the woman, the more arrogant the man. Both sides suffer.

Both of these performance types are not good. We all know that an employee who is always criticized by his boss will resign because he feels that his future is hopeless; similarly, a husband who is always criticized and complained by his wife will resign because of Feeling wounded in self-esteem, emotionally frustrated, and disappointed. No one wants to be blamed all day long, especially those closest to them.

Therefore, the originally vivid love will not wither in complaints, but will die suddenly in shouting.

When persisting in the above two behaviors for a long time does not work, resentful women and shrews unite to the same route: remain silent and refuse to communicate.

But this is not appropriate either. There is a famous saying in the U.S. Infantry Manual: When you build a bunker that is impregnable, you will also be unable to attack it. To achieve victory, you must take risks. In marriage and love life, the same principle applies to the game between men and women. On the one hand, women want to be loved by men, but on the other hand, they defend themselves to the extreme. Sorry, men don’t have fetishes.

So, what should we do?

Please remember: if you want a man to be obedient, you must first learn to speak. In your daily life, you can't play with your temper, you have to use your brain, you have to be smart, and the most important thing is to manage your mouth.

A smart woman can always use appropriate expressions and pleasant language to mobilize a man's initiative in building a marriage, making him willing to be a soldier, listen to her orders, and serve her as her wife. Princess.

As a woman, maybe you don’t have impressive looks, maybe you don’t have amazing talents, maybe you are not lucky enough to find your right husband, but you don’t have to worry about it. You can completely change your destiny through the practice of heart and mouth, and use your mouth.