You don't know how expensive rice is if you don't take care of yourself, and you don't know the kindness of your parents if you don't raise children.

Every sincere and upright child once believed that there is still a long way to go in the future, and he will be able to perform his filial piety calmly on the day when he returns to his hometown with honor. Unfortunately, people forget the cruelty of time.

Parents are there, and life is still there; With parents gone, there is only one way home in life.

Zhou said: "It is instinct to find fault with people close to you, but it is an education to overcome instinct and not find fault with people close to you."

When we were young, we were always tired of coping with our parents' nagging and accusations of their discipline, always expecting that we could grow up quickly, get rid of the shackles of our family and fly away.

When we have our own children, we know that all parents' nagging contains concern, and all discipline reveals reluctance.

At this time, standing in the middle of the long road of life, looking forward and looking back is boundless. Only then did I know that it was not easy for my parents.

Read such a story:

My father is 80 years old and suffers from Alzheimer's disease.

One day, a sparrow flew by the window. He asked, "What is that?"

The son said, "Sparrow."

After a while, my father asked again, "What is that?"

The son said impatiently, "Sparrow."

It wasn't long before the father asked what it was, and the son was annoyed:

"I said it was a sparrow. Are you finished? "

Hearing this, my father sat in a wheelchair silently without saying a word.

A year later, my father died.

When my son was sorting out his relics, he found his father's diary decades ago: my son was three years old and a sparrow flew out of the window. He pointed to his little hand and asked what it was. I said it was a sparrow.

My son kept asking and I kept answering. My son asked 15 times and I answered 15 times. My son is so cute.

Seeing this, my son burst into tears …

The beloved son of his parents tried his best, but he was reluctant to ask for a penny. However, when we should be filial, we lose patience and forget what a happy era we are in.

Be more patient with parents' nagging, be more responsive to parents' concern, and love parents as much as we tolerate children!

Children are like kites in the sky, enjoying themselves in the vastness and enjoying themselves in the breeze; Parents are like bobbins under a kite, trying their best to give their children a blue sky.

As time goes by, kites fly higher and busier; The spool became old and annoying.

Kite began to perfunctory every conversation with the spool, reducing the time with the spool.

Until one day, the line was broken.

The kite lost its direction, flying around in the endless sky, unable to find a place to stay.

In life, many people left their homes in pursuit of so-called dreams, fame and fortune, and only after saying goodbye to their parents did they suddenly realize and taste all the regrets.

Yun-peng Yue once said on the program: My biggest regret is that I was not around when my father died.

In 20 13, Yun-peng Yue went to Germany to perform with Deyun Society, and his master Degang Guo told the news of his father's death.

After learning the news, he had two choices. One is to buy a plane ticket back to his hometown in Henan, and the other is to stay and sing the song of the five rings.

Going back to his hometown in Henan means giving up the performance, giving up the opportunity to prepare with other disciples for a long time, and not necessarily seeing his father for the last time. This is obviously unrealistic.

That night, he still brought countless laughter to people. It was also that night that he cried like a child after the performance.

People are not afraid of helpless regrets, but they are afraid that they can do things well easily, but they just make it an irreparable regret.

Parents are the closest people to us. They witnessed our birth and growth, but we have to face the aging and death of our parents. The former is happy and the latter is sad, but they are in the cycle from generation to generation.

With our parents, we are like flowers with roots. Although the petals withered, the roots were strong.

Our parents left us with a rootless body. Although the flowers are there, the heart is dead.

Say a cliche: "Go home often!"

Chat with parents and help them with their work. Even if you can't stay with them all the time, don't always bring warmth in the phone video.

Give your parents a hug, let them feel your body temperature and hear your heartbeat. Don't wait until one day, when you call "Mom and Dad" but no one responds, you will feel endless regret and regret.

As a child, don't believe that the road ahead is still long, don't leave regrets for life, and enjoy your company when you can.

Filial piety is early, don't just shout a slogan, go home and spend time with your parents today!

In everyone's life, there is a man who is always serious and silent. Sometimes you will argue with him, but he plays an indispensable role in your life.

Whether psychologically or verbally, you often fight with him, and many times you want to escape his strict discipline and fight him to the end.

He is China's father.

Martin described the relationship between father and son in this way, saying that in many families in China, the hero of this role always can't do what he should do. For example, they always don't accompany, understand and communicate, and only at the end of their lives will they find that they love their children so much, but they lack regrets about life.

Father loves nothing, but it is like a mountain.

If the kite breaks the line, it will lose its direction; Mountains sometimes collapse and fill up.

How many children are patient with the old people at home now? Just like our parents worked hard to raise us.

I have always been ashamed and can't lift my head because my father is a sanitation worker.

That year, through my unremitting efforts, I was admitted to a key high school. I thought I could stay away from home, but my father told me excitedly that he would go to work in our school like that in the future.

I couldn't hold back for a moment and roared: What are you doing here? Aren't you ashamed enough? Then he slammed the door and went out, leaving his father standing there blankly.

The next day, my mother told me not to be angry about it, and my father went back to work as usual.

It was really cold that winter. I came to the school gate early and saw a familiar figure not far away. He saw me looking at him, found me, and quickly hid.

Curious, I walked slowly over and found that this was my father.

His face turned red at once, rubbing his hands red with cold uneasily, and stammered, I told your mother not to tell you, just say I'm back in place. Every day I come to clean early and then hide, just to see how hard you work every day, but today you found me.

A cold wind blew, and I suddenly realized how stupid I was. I have a father who loves me deeply, but I don't know it.

For the first time in my life, I hugged him tightly like in the movie and shed tears of regret.

Don't leave the best side to outsiders, and leave the worst temper to those closest to you.

Most children are born in ordinary families, but fathers love their children equally.

Life is bitter, but father loves silently. Sometimes fathers always shoulder the heavy responsibility of a family silently, because they bear not only the heavy responsibility, but also the deep love for their children.

If someone didn't carry the burden for you, there wouldn't be any quiet years.

When you are not at home, you never know how simple the food on their table is.

You don't know how many times they counted down behind you the day you said you were going home.

What you inadvertently said is that the future is still very long. For them, it may be that people walk far away from tea;

You mention any delicious dish, and they will cook it over and over again until you mention another dish.

Don't just get used to accepting, but also learn to be grateful. All their lives, they are desperately treating their children well.

There was a story of a dutiful son in ancient times, which has been passed down to this day.

The father of this dutiful son is very strict. He often severely teaches children when they make mistakes, and even beats them.

After growing up, my father's education method remains unchanged. As soon as he hit him, he burst into tears. Father was surprised. He was beaten for decades and never cried.

Then his father asked him, why are you crying?

He replied: Before you hit me, I felt very painful.

But I know my father did it to educate me.

But today you hit me, and I can't feel the pain anymore.

This shows that my father's health is not as good as before, and the time I can stay with you is getting shorter and shorter. I can't help but feel sad when I think about it.

In order to raise us, parents spent most of their lives, losing hair, frowning and worrying.

As a son of man, you should be filial to your parents.

In the world of affection, father's love is never as shining as gentle and nagging mother's love, and sometimes balanced love can make you grow up, so don't doubt that in either case, you must believe that your parents love you.

20 15 global short poem contest for college students in China, Luo's winning work of Shanghai Jiao Tong University, just a few words made countless people cry:

When I was three years old, you told me to wait for you for five minutes.

23 years old, you haven't come back yet.

Dad, I don't want to eat candied haws now.

Parents are there, and life is still there; When parents are gone, there is only one regression period in life. For the rest of your life, don't let company become a regret.

Recently, a domestic parenting education program "On Teenagers" has attracted many people's attention and discussion.

The Japanese variety show "Tiantai confession" is a middle school student standing on the rooftop and shouting at the person he likes. This operation warmed the rough hearts of many old aunts.

This time, China's version of "rooftop confession" is a child standing on the stage shouting at his parents, and the result is also blown up, which blows up the status quo of parent-child relationship in China.

Parents are "strangers" who love their children the most, and finally "pit" their children with their parents. The children's cries truly reflect the problems existing in current education.

A girl named Yuan Jingyi stood on the stage to "spit" her mother.

Mother has never really seen her. The daily conversation with her always revolves around "other people's children". In her conversation with her mother, the highest appearance rate is the best friend Xueba.

She will always be put on the scale by her mother, with academic performance, comprehensive ability, academic year ranking and so on as the only indicators to measure and compare.

If you don't do well in the exam, you will be stuck in backward subjects; But their own advantages and strengths have never been ignored, not encouraged and appreciated.

After hearing this, the mother in the audience gave her a response that she was discouraged for better motivation, fearing that praise would make her frivolous.

Every time my daughter denounces her, she is greeted by a stronger response from her mother-just listing her child's shortcomings in words, proving that "I am objective (it is you who should reflect)".

Although I stepped back and pointed out that my daughter also has advantages, my daughter on the stage didn't buy it. On the contrary, the senior girlfriends around me talked about the impression that made her burst into tears instantly-"infected all the students in our class with his enthusiasm", which is the real understanding and being seen.

In the eyes of this mother, her daughter's kindness, enthusiasm and attraction to others have become invisible in front of the report card. Mother's analysis almost turned into sarcasm, and Yuan Jingyi ran off the stage crying.

Intriguingly, this is a result of Yuan Jingyi's prediction-before taking office, she said disappointedly, "My mother will definitely give me a hard time".

Yuan Jingyi's mother's "dislike of love" is not a case. This kind of love is also manifested in the form of "all support is conditional".

There is also a girl who has studied dance for seven years. She likes it very much and is very talented. As a result, her mother ordered her to stop on the grounds of studying.

She wants her mother to know her love for dancing and her hidden dream, but her mother's response is "I'll let you learn before the next exam 100".

The girl was angry and cried. In this key middle school, such a request is basically equivalent to being rejected in a short time.

Finally, in the embarrassing stalemate, my mother agreed to "top 150" like bargaining.

Another detail that shocked me was that the first sentence of a child who looked like a teenager was "I don't want to eat apples and eggs anymore"

God, why doesn't such a big boy even have the right to decide such small details of life? Explain on the spot "How did Ma Baonan come into being"? Can't see the uniqueness of children as individuals, and pursue repression and even stick education; Can't hear the child's voice, and shield the child's position with the attitude of "coming over"; "Utilitarianism" and Achievement-only Theory of Forced Learning

The condensed scene in The Tale of Teenagers is a true portrayal of how many parents educate their children in China.

Parents can't see real children, but only "imaginary children"

Some people say that because it is a junior high school, parents are under great pressure to go to school, which should be understood.

No, I think this educational attitude runs through the whole process of the growth of most children in China.

Remember the documentary "After Zero Zero"?

The first child who was impressed was Xi Kun, who is 8 years old this year. She has a mother who is willing to work hard for him, but she has never heard what Kun really thinks.

Xi Kun studied magic and his mother forced him to perform on the stage. He doesn't want to be seen by his mother. He just thinks "it's for his own good".

Kun participated in the summer camp with the aim of cultivating the ability to live independently. It's rare to pick up the phone and want to talk to his mother. Therefore, his mother remotely "orders" which clothes and trousers to wear tomorrow, and there is nothing to talk about on this side of the phone.

A couple with a second child only saw the change of their eldest daughter, but they were alienated from them, but they never thought about her thoughts and cared about her embarrassment.

Gifts are used as bait to guide my daughter to play with her sister. My daughter is still watching videos on her mobile phone, and she feels very happy. However, her daughter says helplessly, "I don't want to play with my sister at all". "Since I had my sister, they have never cared about my feelings".

She even sarcastically said, "That's ridiculous. The family performed very happily. How can there be such parents? "

As the Mirror, another documentary about family education, said, children are a mirror of the family.

Parents don't want to accept the real child, they just want to accept what they think the child should be.

In order to control, do not hesitate to let the children "suffer"

The writer Mai Jia talked about the relationship with his son in The Reader, which lasted for many years until his son went abroad to study. A personal letter from Mai Jia opened the knot between father and son. Start to relax and try to communicate. The Mai family is like this, and so are many parents. In the parent-child relationship, parents are neither good expressors nor good listeners. Parents are just arbiters and judges. Natural commanding heights, exercise your arbitrariness and control.

"Teenager's Theory" and "After Zero" only reflect the state of children and adolescents, and the story of children's growth is interpreted around us and even on us every day.

If you don't get married and have children, your parents and even the whole family have the right to interfere and humiliate, and you can't wait to intervene;

Even if the children form a family and resolutely live together, because "separation is unfilial", in fact, parents themselves cannot be weaned psychologically;

Control the trivial matters of life without a sense of boundaries, tell what you don't know, and make simple life tense.

At one time, I never understood that many parents could not accept being polite and harmonious with their adult children.

For example, we must say some malicious words to anger each other, and then make a bitter reconciliation, and cycle this fatigue again and again; Or deliberately create some troubles and contradictions, and consume more time and energy for children to establish their own authority.

And then I understood—

Because parents and children in China are never equal. Parents don't really understand "respect". When their children lose control, they become giant babies. They have to create trouble and even pain before they feel safe and feel a deep but unhealthy connection.

Don't think that there is only love between parents and children, and there can be strong hatred between parents and children.

In the movie Genius Girl, seven-year-old girl Mary inherited her mother's talent in mathematics, but she just wanted to have the happiness of being an ordinary child.

Her mother Diane committed suicide due to depression, leaving an unfinished mathematical equation solution. Grandma and the girl's uncle Frank are fighting for custody and want her granddaughter to finish her daughter's unfinished business.

My grandmother, who graduated from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, believed in her own educational philosophy all her life, and her biggest dream was to turn her daughter's genius gene into an achievement admired by future generations.

But the big secret she doesn't know is-

In fact, the daughter had solved the equation before she died, but she deliberately asked her brother to "wait until her mother died."

But death did not escape the mother's control, and this obsession continued to the next generation.

The dead daughter hates her mother's guts, and she will use her life and what her mother cares most to make the final condemnation and resistance.

Think about it, isn't this just another form of very sad adult version of "rooftop confession"?

The theory of youth is very painful to read. What is education? First of all, we should respect children's personality, independence and imperfection. We are all imperfect, why should we ask our children to be perfect?

Is it because we don't understand this simple truth, or because we know our imperfections too well and vent our aggression on our children?

At the end of the article, I want to end with a BBC documentary. A British student who was treated so harshly complained about the education in China.

She used to be a schoolgirl, but she was forced to collapse because her physical education was not good enough.

She accurately described the feeling of controlled, depressed and even humiliating love-

"Always let yourself live in comparison with others, live in an unhealthy lifestyle, and remind yourself that even if you try your best, it is not good enough."

I hope I don't give the child this feeling. Let's encourage each other.