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Reading duration: about 6 minutes.

Can a small note determine a person's good mood for a day? One of the annual warm events last year started with a small piece of paper.

The bus driver reminded a passenger that he didn't swipe his card when he got on the bus, but he yelled at him all the way. A primary school student who witnessed the incident quietly handed a note to the driver's uncle: "Please don't lose your good mood because of a small matter."

Children with empathy generally have great love, warmth and kindness inside. Such children will not be too bad in the future, and even more likely to succeed. On the contrary, children who lack empathy often have problems, such as not caring about others, selfish indifference and so on.

Therefore, parents should strive to understand the development mechanism behind empathy and scientifically cultivate their children's empathy ability.

Simply put, a person can be understood as "there is a connection between people" and can do "don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you".

1, regardless of other people's feelings

For children who lack empathy, it is difficult to observe the emotions and feelings of others, which often gives people a feeling of indifference.

A little boy from a friend's house, 10 years old, should have some empathy. However, once he witnessed his grandfather fall to the ground, he still laughed and even said "deserved it." This is actually not "childlike innocence", but a problem with the child's empathy.

2. Form a selfish character.

If children have no empathy, they may habitually take themselves as the center of the earth at any time, only value their emotions and feelings, and pay no attention to the impact of their improper words and deeds on others, and gradually form a selfish character.

A few years ago, the popularity of the film and television drama "Tiger Mom and Cat Dad" triggered an online debate about "bringing babies every other generation". Xixi, a little girl who grew up under the extreme pampering of her grandparents, had a princess disease. When she went out to be a guest with her family, she was grumpy and rude, and even put a paper towel in her child's mouth and said she wanted to disinfect it. These are all manifestations of no empathy.

3. Loss of moral sense

What's more, children who are seriously lacking in empathy may unscrupulously put their personal happiness above the pain of others, and they simply don't realize what kind of harm others are suffering. This fatal flaw is easy to lose the nature of kindness and even the sense of morality.

In the movie "Better Days", Wei Lai is a beautiful girl on the surface, but in fact she is overbearing in school. In the face of classmates who usually get along with each other, she can do such things as insulting, beating and threatening, which shows how serious her empathy has been lost.

To sum up, the lack of empathy will have many adverse effects on the healthy growth of children, so parents should learn to cultivate their children's "empathy" and let them understand the importance of "empathy".

1. Appreciate children's altruistic behavior

Some parents will feel that they have suffered a big loss when they see their children's enthusiasm for helping others, and then blame their children for being "stupid or not, which is really nosy." This will make children afraid to behave in front of their parents the next time they have the same behavior, and even feel it is a very shameful thing. Over time, children may become as selfish as their parents.

On the contrary, far-sighted parents often praise their children's altruistic behaviors such as caring for and helping others, making them feel that they are doing the right thing.

2. Encourage children to take responsibility.

When children do harm to others, parents should not blindly blame and scold them, but let the children calmly tell where their children are wrong and what bad effects they have caused to others, and then encourage them to take responsibility, make up for their mistakes and do a good job in the aftermath.

For example, when a child quarrels with other children and arrests people, parents can ask the child to reflect on whether he has done something wrong, whether he should apologize to the child and how to deal with the child's injury.

3. Guide children to think in other's shoes.

In daily life, if children show a lack of empathy, parents can consciously guide them to try to put themselves in their children's shoes and ask them, "How would you feel if it were you?" How do you want others to treat you? "

Children are always innocent. When they learn to put themselves in others' shoes and have a certain understanding of their emotions and thoughts, they will naturally pay attention to their words and deeds and consider others' feelings.

A child with empathy often knows how to respect, understand and care for others, which can bring some warmth to the world.

Parents want to cultivate their children's empathy, of course, there are ways to follow, but the most important thing is to demonstrate and set an example in daily life. The realm of parents determines the cultivation of children.

Because a good education never lies in skills, but in bits and pieces of life.