"Looking for Dreams"

Ji Xianlin

I dreamed of my mother at night, and I woke up crying. When I woke up and wanted to catch this dream again, the dream had already flown to nowhere.

I stared at the darkness with my eyes wide open, until I could feel my eyes shining brightly. Fragments of dreams were flying in front of my eyes, but when I thought of catching these fragments of dreams and putting them together into a whole, I didn’t even know where the fragments flew to. All that is left in front of me is my mother's vague face...

This is the face that walked towards me in the dream. I only remember that when this figure appeared, the surroundings were gray, and my mother seemed to be walking down from the clouds. The expression on her face was a little different from usual, like smiling, but also like crying, but she finally walked towards me. .

Where am I? Even I am a little confused about this. At first I felt like I was in the house I live in now. The mother just pushed the small door in the corner of the room and walked in. The tassel of the orange electric lampshade was placed on the mother's head.

So I thought about it again and thought about the whole city of G?ttingen: the ancient city walls lined with astonishingly thick oak trees and the mottled gray-black old churches that I walked through every day when I went to class. The strangely tall spire on top of the church, the clear sky above the spire.

However, a piece of reed flashed before my eyes. The clear light of water still faintly shines from the thin spots of the reeds. This is the big reed pit behind the house in my hometown.

So I immediately felt that not only was I on the edge of the reed pit, but even my mother’s face was walking towards me on the edge of the reed pit. I also thought that when I was a child and had not left my hometown, every summer morning before dawn, I would get up and walk along the reed pit, looking very carefully into the water.

When I saw something shining white under the dark water, I reached out and touched it. It was a white and large duck egg. I can't describe my happy mood at that time.

Looking up at this time, you can often see a faint red sunrise on the top of the big poplar tree in the open space on the other side. One autumn two years ago, my mother was lying quietly under this poplar tree. Under the tree, forever and ever. Now she saw her son, whom she had not seen for eight years before his death, again by the pit near the poplar tree.

But what flashed out from the reed pit was a small white lantern-like flower, and it was in the mother's hand. I really can't think of any place in my hometown that has such a flower.

I finally thought about it again, thinking about G?ttingen and the house I live in now. The landlord had placed a vase of flowers like this on the table in the middle of the room two days ago. So, my mother had come to G?ttingen after all, and I had seen my mother in G?ttingen after all.

After thinking about it, the shadows in front of me gradually became chaotic. The shadow of the church steeple fell on the large reed pit in my hometown. Not far behind, white flowers like lanterns appeared. In front of these, the face of my mother was looming.

I finally didn’t know where I saw my mother. I tried my best to suppress my thoughts and calm down my heart. The sound of chán chán rain immediately came from the window, and I felt a slight chill on my pillow.

I got up and opened the window curtains, and a ray of clear light came in. I looked outside, hoping to find my mother's footprints. But what I see is the row of windows I see every day. Now I am immersed in silence. The dreams inside should be sweet!

But my dream has long since flown away without even a shadow. There is only a white trace in my heart, winding out, from this foreign town to my mother's tomb under the big poplar tree in my hometown. At the same time, I was still secretly worried for my mother: How could I travel such a long way to see my son on such a rainy night? Besides, there was nothing in front of me and nothing could be seen.

Oh my God! Won't you even give me a clear dream? I looked sadly at the gray sky, and in the light of my tears, my mother's face appeared.

Extended information:

Appreciation of "Looking for Dreams":

Ji Xianlin's "Looking for Dreams" is about missing his deceased mother, but people and ghosts take different paths, the road to hell It is far away, but in reality it is difficult to achieve your wish. But the feeling of despair and regret also sneaked into my heart in the form of dreams to comfort Ji Lao's lovesickness. The dream became an opportunity for Mr. Ji to express his thoughts and make up for his mistakes.

It's just that in the dream there was only "the vague face of mother". This sentence means that when Ji Xianlin dreamed of his mother, it was accompanied by full of regret. In traditional Chinese culture, there is a tradition of "don't travel far when your parents are around", but Ji Xianlin went overseas to study in Germany. He abandoned his family and ethics and felt guilty for not being filial to his mother's bedside. He has always been heartless. The ground hit Ji Xianlin's heart.

It's not that Ji Xianlin can't remember his mother's face, but that Ji Xianlin can't face the guilt in his heart and regrets treating his mother with gray hair.

Ji Xianlin also knows the pain of his mother's thoughts at home about "the son he had not seen for eight years before his death." Where have you gone?"

But "dream" is a dream after all, and there is a time to wake up from a lustful dream.

After waking up from the dream, Ji Xianlin could only face the "gurgling sound of rain" and the "slightly chilly" pillow. Let "a ray of clear light" pass over Ji Xianlin's face, leaving only scars and helplessness.

Dreams are "sweet". When you wake up from the dream, the tears in your eyes will be cold and heart-wrenching after they drain.

Baidu Encyclopedia-Missing Mother