1. There are countless hairs on a donkey’s tail
2. It’s not that the enemy is too cunning, it’s just that we are too stupid
3. We seem to have encountered some situations
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4. What else can I eat when I have Haagen-Dazs? !
5. Why am I so unlucky! ! !
6. Liu Mei: If I had known this child, I would not have given birth to you!
Liu Xing: Who told you to give birth to me? Did you get my consent?
7. Who did I offend? !
8. Liu Xing scolded Xiaoxue: "Talk, hey, hey, sing, ji, ji, ji,"
9. "Who is Confucius's teacher?" Liu Xing: "Confucius's teacher. ..Oh! Confucius’ teacher was Zhuanzi!”
Xia Donghai: “Tell me the story of Dou E!” Liu Xing: “Oh! Dou E is the most unjust person in the history of our country. Women! ”
10. Dad: What kind of dad do you want?
Liu Xing: Do I have the final say on this matter?
Dad: I suddenly became your father, are you used to it?
Liu Xing: Anyway, when I was born, I was treated as a son, no matter who I was! !
11. Liu Xing: I solemnly promise!
Xiaoyu: I solemnly don’t believe it!
12. Liu Xing: Xiaoyu, you said we are Good brother?
Xia Yu: Of course! "Meteor Shower" is talking about us two!
13. Liu Xing said to Xia Xue: After you see the gorilla, you will know how handsome your two brothers are!
14. Classmate Xiaoxue: I’m looking for Xia Xue!
Liu Xing: What does your classmate with your last name do to you?
15. Lin Fan (excited): Are you that cute, Xia Xue’s brother?
Liu Xing (smirking): I’m that cute Xia Xue younger brother.
16. Liu Xing: I went to school for so many years without running away from home despite the pressure. Don’t you think I am strong?
17. Liu Xing: The eagle that fights in the sky will not envy the chick who is praised!
18. Xia Yu: Only my sister is allowed to set fires, my brother is not allowed to light lamps!
Xia Donghai: Don’t change idioms randomly! Only the state officials are allowed to set fires, but the people are not allowed to light lamps!
Xia Yu: But our family only has an elder sister and no state official!
Liu Xing: Why do you say that about us? You are more extreme than anyone else!
Xia Yu: Don’t listen to your parents!
Liu Xing: As soon as you enter the door, you will give us both a showdown!
Xia Yu: And she even has a boyfriend!
Liu Xing: And she even brought her boyfriend home!
Xia Yu: Return it twice!
Xia Donghai: Can you leave a channel for us to say a few words?
Liu Xing: Compared with her! Xiaoyu gave his little sister a chicken feather, what did it mean?
Xia Yu: Yes, Liu Xing’s playfulness doesn’t matter!
Liu Xing: Really! Let it rain! (Blows a kiss) What does it matter?
Xia Yu: Yes, what does Liu Xing’s two points mean?
Liu Xing: We are the good kids!
Xia Xue (screaming): I want to duel you two little villains! !
19. (Midnight) Liu Xing: Mom, can you give me some funds?
Mom: What?
Liu Xing: (touching hair) I want to dye this thing green and get a girlfriend.
Mom: How dare you——
Liu Xing: Why can Xiaoxue find a wild boy, but I can’t find my wild girlfriend?!
Mom: If you dare to find a wild girlfriend, you will find that you have a wild and wild mother!!!
20. Xia Donghai: What do you think we should do?
Liu Xing: What else can I do?
Xia Donghai: What do you want to do?
Liu Xing: Let’s do it!
Xia Donghai: What are you planning to do?
Liu Xing: What else can I do? That’s it!
Xia Donghai: Why is it so hard for me to speak Chinese to you? ! !
21. Xiaoyu: Eat when you are hungry, eat when you are hungry, and still have to eat when you are hungry
Eat when you are hungry, eat when you are hungry, and still be hungry after eating
Liu Xing: No, no, you are missing a link in your singing
Xiao Yu: Which link?
Liu Xing: Listen (pick up the chopsticks and tap the table rhythmically) )
Eat when you are hungry, poop after you poop, and still be hungry after pooping
Eat when you poop, and you are still hungry when you poop
22. Liu Xing and Xiaoxue were both lying on the dining table sleeping, when Liu Mei came over and grabbed Liu Xing's arm.
Liu Mei: Look at your watch, what time is it? I went to bed.
Liu Xing: I didn’t sleep well last night.
Liu Mei: Are you playing the game console again?
Liu Xing: No.
Liu Mei: Then just play online.
Liu Xing: No. I'm thinking about the exam.
Liu Mei: About the exam? Did you fail the exam again?
Liu Xing: I haven’t taken the exam yet!
Liu Mei: That means thinking about how to cheat?
Liu Xing: Why do you always think bad things about me? !
Liu Mei: If you want me to think on the bright side, you have to give me a chance!
23. Liu Xing said: "Dad, Xiaoxue's nickname in the class is eldest sister."
Dad: "What's wrong? It's normal for you to have nicknames." Ah."
......
Liu Xing: "But the problem is, there is a boy in their class nicknamed 'Big Brother'"
Dad: " So according to what you said, your classmates call you a gorilla, is there another girl called a baboon? ”
24. Xiaoyu: If they don’t reconcile, I will eat a hundred ice creams? ,suicide!
Liu Xing: If they don’t reconcile, I will play computer games for a month. I will exhaust myself!
25. Grandma: Only by enduring hardship can you become a master.
Xia Yu: Can you ride on others' heads if you endure hardship?
26. Xia Yu: You can’t poop because the earth has no gravity.
27. Mom: Xiaoxue’s father is amazing! Xiaoxue and his younger brother Xiaoyu’s face was swollen because of him!
Marco:...
28. Liu Xing: Our history teacher said that Chairman Mao has a famous saying, if you want to know the taste of stuffed prawns, you have to taste it yourself. One taste.
Xia Xue: Chairman Mao was talking about pears
29. When my father did not arrive home on time on a business trip at night, my mother asked Xiaoyu to call his mobile phone. After the call...
Mom: Who answered the phone?
Xiaoyu: A woman. (Everyone was nervous) "Sorry, the number you dialed cannot be connected at the moment..."
30. Caller: Who are you?
Liu Xing’s mother: Who am I? My mother gave birth to me! Who do you think I am? Really...
31. (After Liu Xing watched the horror film)
Lingling~~Liu Mei: Liu Xing, go answer the phone!
Liu Xing (stepped forward and hugged the phone): Mom, that’s the ominous ring!
32. Because Xia Yu’s singing voice is ugly, when he dreams at night, others say he is a duck:
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Xia Yu: Ahhh~! I’m not a duck! I’m not a duck! I’m not a duck! I’m not a duck! I’m not a duck! I’m not a duck!
Liu Mei: Yes~ You are not a duck, Liu Xing is a duck
Liu Xing: Mom~~! ~~gt;_lt;~~
Liu Mei: What happened to sacrificing yourself for your brother?
33. Bai Ya hugged Xiao Yu and said: Star.
Xiao Yu said; I am not, it is Liu Xing.
Bai Ya said: Let me tell you, why has this child shrunk after five years?
34. Xia Donghai: Then please tell the story of Dou E’s injustice
Liu Xing: I don’t know who Dou E is.
Xia Donghai : Aren’t you shouting all day long that you are more unjust than Dou E?
Liu Xing: Oh, Dou E is the most unjust woman in history
Xia Donghai, Xia Xue, Xia Yu and Liu Mei all fainted
Liu Xing: Isn’t that right?
35. Xiaoyu: Mom, Duoduo won’t play with me, I’m heartbroken
36. Xiaoyu: Do we have other sources of income after spending the New Year’s money?
Liu Xing: Yes!
Snow/Rain: What is it?
Liu Xing: Sell you (referring to Xiaoyu)!
37. Grandpa: Hey, hey, hey, this is Donghai’s home, not Donghai Restaurant. I don’t want to order food.
Xiaoxue: Originally I wanted to say why you didn’t buy me yellow croaker, but after my grandpa said that, I didn’t want to say anything.
Grandpa: You have already said that Hai doesn’t want to say anything...
38. Xia: After taking Xiaoxue over, you two will have to get along day and night, so be mentally prepared. Already?
Mei: I’m not mentally prepared, but I’m ready to fight! !
39. Yu: Why don’t I bite Liu Xing when mosquitoes bite me? Is this not my home?
Mei: Because your blood is fragrant, and Liu Xing’s blood is smelly...
40. Mom, no matter what you do, you must first love this business.
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Liu Xing; If I want to be a soldier, I have to love fighting?
41. Xia Xue: I am a woman, women first
Xia Yu: I If you are small, give priority to the younger ones
Liu Xing: I am thin, give priority to the thin ones
42. Liu Xing; This book is so good - so thick!
43. Look at him, look at you, look at the old man next door
44. Liu Xing: 5 people working in 3 shifts? Can they be eliminated? How did you learn mathematics? Physical education The teacher taught you this, right?
46. If the narcissus doesn’t bloom, just pretend!
47. After eating fried noodles, I didn’t have a bowel movement
48. Liu Mei: To be courteous for nothing, it’s either adultery or stealing. Tell me, what else are you doing?
Liu Xing: I...I...I...I...I...what didn't I do?
49. Liu Mei: Liu Xing, Xiaoyu, and Xiaoxue are eating!
Xia Donghai: Meimei...
Liu Xing: Mom! It’s really not me!
Xiaoyu: Is there anything delicious?
50. Xia Xue: Huh, shallow!
Liu Xing: Huh, vulgar!
Xia Yu: Huh, childish!
51.Dad: Now I want to announce an explosive news!
Xiao Yu (keeps eating): I need to gain some weight to avoid being blown up!
52. Liu Xing: On a dark and windy night. ． ． ． ． ．
Xia Donghai: Sorry, Liu Xing, the white mouse was killed during the day.
Liu Xing: Ao, Ao, daytime, daytime. In the dark and windy day of the month. The little white mouse was locked at home alone, thinking: It would be great if he could go out and play. Even if it’s half an hour of playing video games, it’s enough.
Xia Xue: I think you are talking about yourself.
Liu Xing: What do you know? This is called empathy.
Liu Xing: So, it took out the key that it secretly assigned. ． ． ． ． ． Suddenly, a black hand stretched out!
Xia Yu: No, it’s the white paw of a black cat.
Liu Xing: White claws, white claws. Suddenly, the white paw of a black cat stretched out, ending its young life. Therefore, the murderer is. ． ． ． (Liu Xing points to the black cat) The murderer is it - the black cat with white paws.
Xia Donghai: Liu Xing, take out the secret key.
Liu Xing was shocked and said angrily: Dad~~~~
Xia Donghai: Be good, bring it.
Liu Xing reluctantly handed over the key to Xia Donghai.
53. Mouse King: "As soon as I saw the contact person, Mr. Liu Xing, I knew that this was not right. He has no hair on his lips and does not work hard."
Liu Xing : "Hey, grandma, she beat me!"
Grandma: "Who told you to do things for free."
54. Mei: "Come on, tell me what you should learn from them What? Why don’t you learn from them?”
Xing: “Their sexiness, their nakedness.”
Liu Mei: “Okay, good, good.
Xing: "We have said what we should learn, but what should we not learn?" ”
55. Liu Mei: What problems have you had recently?
Liu Xing: Which one?
Liu Mei: Economic
Liu Xing: Is it a planned economy or a market economy?
56. Liu Mei: "Liu Xing, open the door. Why are you keeping the door locked so late at night?"
Liu Xing: "Change your pants!" ”
Liu Mei: “Are you changing your underpants or drawing on your underpants?”
Liu Xing: "Oh, I am drawing pants. Tell me, why are these pants so difficult to draw?" "
57. Tell all the mothers quickly that the plan is cancelled
58. Men can cry and suffer. It is not a sin. Men wash dishes, wash dishes, and do not feel tired. .
59. At the moment of lights, our happy warm dinner can begin.
Dad: Yes, look, the bright moonlight illuminates us; listen, the sweet frogs play music for us.
Snow: Wow, I’m so happy. Our whole family is sitting here healthy and happy, with good teeth, good appetite, and a better mood.
Yu: So happy!
Xing (coldly): Yes, I don’t have any toothache, of course I’m happy...
60. Yu: Mom said, brother must let me go.
Xing: That refers to eating, not peeing.
Yu: It’s the same, brother should give way to his brother.
Xing: Brother, brother, brother is in front and brother is behind. Do you understand?
61. Mom: Does this orangutan have good ears?
Liu Xing: My ears are pretty good
Mom: Go! I didn’t talk to you
Liu Xing: Didn’t you mean me?
Mom: I meant the orangutan
Liu Xing: Hey, I’m so violent Temper
62. Liu Xing read the paper and said: Salted fish turns over Lin Ning: In such an exciting moment, do you think of salted fish? Liu Xing: Big crab
63. Who has eaten the heart of a bear, the courage of a leopard, and drank tiger bone soup, and dared to bully my sister without asking her brother whether I, Liu Xing, would agree?
64. This star is better than me. The stars I saw were much more beautiful
65. The reason why I didn’t study well is because I focused on how to deal with you
66. The reason why I didn’t study well It’s because I’m focusing on how to deal with you
67. Yu (looking at his butt in the mirror): There is a flying saucer on my butt, am I an alien?
Xing : Well? Look at your butt in the mirror? Do you want to become famous immediately?
Yu: Look what’s on it?
Xing: Two butt balls.
Yu: Look again!
Xing: Still two butt balls!
Yu: Look to the left!
Xing: Red note!
Yu: What does it look like?
Star: Tea eggs?
Yu: Look again!
Star: Hamburger?
68. Liu Xing said to Xiao Yu: Are you so annoying? Did your class teacher arrange for the ugliest little girl in your class to sit with you?
69. Liu Xing: Liu Xing No. 2, look at this name It rises, just like hybrid rice
70. Liu Xing/Xiao Yu (singing crazily): My passion, O````````````, I really want to make a fire !Burn the entire desert`````````````The sun will avoid me even if it sees me````````````````````(They Dancing, singing and dancing)
Suddenly parents rushed into the room and shouted: What’s wrong, what’s wrong!
Liu Xing was in a state of excitement and said: Mom and Dad, we have to do something we like to do
Things! We haven’t finished talking yet.
Liu Mei stepped in and said: Stop it! You’d better restrain yourself, right away. Go to bed, be careful, I will take care of you ``````````Humph```` this kid~
Xia Donghai said: Meimei, don't worry, listen to Liu Xing's words. Asked him what he wanted to do? Liu Xing then finished his words!
Liu Xing pursed her lips and smiled sheepishly, covered her face with her hands shyly, and then said softly: "I'll do it! It's nothing." , just, I just want to meet my savage girlfriend ````````````Hehe ``````````!!! (After saying that, he smiled sheepishly)
Liu Mei stared with big eyes: Well `````````````````What did you say! How dare you have a girlfriend`````````Young Master This is nonsense to me! Go to bed quickly ``````````````
Liu Xing said aggrievedly: Why! Why can Xiaoxue bring the wild boy home? I can’t even meet my wild actress? It’s not fair ``````````````````
Liu Mei: Yeah```````` ````````Liu Xing, if you dare to see your savage girlfriend, you will soon know that you also have a savage and fierce mother~! (At this time, Liu Mei wants to deal with Liu Xing, but Xia Donghai picked up Liu Mei)
Xia Donghai said; Quick, quick! Liu Xing, open the door quickly~
Liu Mei struggled in Xia Donghai’s arms and said: Let go Me, let me fight this brat~
Liu Xing quickly opened the door and immediately closed it again!