I'm so happy to hear from you again, and you said that the parenting ideas I shared with you last time benefited you, which made me even happier.

in your letter, you said that you beat the two kids, Circle and Dot, a few days ago, because you have repeatedly told them not to play with the electrical outlet casually, but they still play with the electrical outlet as a toy when you are not paying attention. When you saw it, you got angry, hit them with a ruler and stood for ten minutes. You said that you were sad and even regretted watching them standing in the corner with tears in their eyes. If you don't hit them, you're afraid they'll make mistakes again.

? Should children be punished after all? And what kind of punishment can make children understand and correct mistakes? Yes, most parents are still ambivalent about punishment, especially corporal punishment.

when I talk about the word "punishment", I feel so harsh. However, in reality, we live in a world of punishment. There are penalties for speeding, and there are penalties for paying water and electricity bills ... We should let children know that punishment exists, and it is not a sin, not a threat, but a means to punish them if they make mistakes.

Actually, it's not that children can't accept punishment, but they must explain why. Corporal punishment is not an end, but a means of punishment. It is an effective means to make children bear their own mistakes, and it is also an effective way for parents to cultivate their children's good behavior habits by punishment. If you can defeat the enemy without fighting, then you can choose not to punish him. However, on the other hand, beating is only a means, and the purpose is to let children understand the mistakes and avoid making the same mistakes again. Therefore, you must sit down calmly after the fight, analyze the cause and effect of the matter face to face with the children, explain the truth, and tell the circle: Why did mom hit you and what to do next time? Let them understand their mistakes and their consequences through their own thinking and expression.

from ancient times to the present, Zhuge Liang is the best person to talk about the principle of punishment. He said, "Reward is far away, punishment is not near, a knight can't get it for nothing, and punishment can't be exempted from your power." Let children naturally admire you and love you, and they will naturally obey you.

When it comes to beating and corporal punishment, I have to think of the phenomenon of campus violence and bullying among children, which originated from social learning. Starting from the family, if parents take care of their children with hostility, irresponsibility and indifference, such as abandonment or domestic violence, so that children's social interaction is in a negative state, the possibility of children becoming perpetrators in the future will be greatly improved. Secondly, after children enter primary school, they are deeply influenced by teachers in school, because children are in the imitation stage at this time. If teachers choose the wrong way of discipline, the possibility of bullying will also increase. If bullying occurs among students, and the teacher does not stop it, it may also cause other students' wrong values.

The development of children's personality is closely related to family life. Family members, especially parents, are usually the first important person of children. These important people have a decisive influence on children's physical and mental development. Parents who have little or no care for their children are likely to become bullies. However, those parents who have enlightened, caring, tolerant and warm discipline methods have more positive psychology and are less likely to have behavioral deviations.

Kōnosuke Matsushita's wife, Matsushita Meiye, said in the book "The Wife of God": "The so-called hardship refers to the inner suffering. Being without things and money is not a pain, but a difficulty. As long as there is hope, it is not hard, and peace of mind is the root of happiness." This kind of peace is a sense of security. And children's positive psychology needs a safe environment to express their emotions. A sense of security is a necessary condition for children's growth and the foundation of happiness. Run a safe and trusting living atmosphere for children to feel emotionally, so that our children can be protected and happy when they grow up.

In your letter, you also mentioned that you met a little girl named Guoguo in the early education class in circles and dots. The child is smart and lively, but she seems to be precocious, and she can read people and talk, which makes you very uncomfortable. Later, when you get to know her family situation, you will understand the crux of the premature fruit. It turned out that Guoguo's parents had divorced long ago, and the children were raised at grandpa's house. Parents played a loving couple state for their children at weekends. However, how can children not be affected by this seemingly inseparable relationship? Therefore, it is not surprising that people look at people and talk. You said that sometimes when you see the behavior words of the fruit, it is inevitable that you will not pity the child.

when I saw the fruit, I couldn't help sighing. Divorce may bring harm to children for a short time, but as long as it is remedied, it is right to be friendly, safe and warm to children as much as possible. "The biggest fear of children is that no one loves them." We were all children once. Have we forgotten how we felt when we were children? However, some adults think that children can't accept the facts and cheat them, which is even more cruel and harmful. In the face of unreal families, children will be more disappointed and at a loss.

Being cheated is a terrible experience, not to mention children who have no dominant power in life. If they are often cheated, they will certainly accumulate suspicious characters or become liars who avoid suffering. The problem of honesty between parents and children, more importantly, is the trust based on experience besides material things.

I've been nagging you so much before I know it. All in all, what I want to say is that life must be consistent with education, otherwise it won't play a role in education. We should pay more attention to the educational process of natural internalization through daily life. Right?

Your close friend: Kong Kong.