"Benevolence" is the highest realm of Confucian ethics, but, as far as personal cultivation is concerned, "gentleman" is its ideal personality model. Zeng Shen emphasized that "a gentleman makes friends with his words and helps others with his friends" (The Analects of Confucius? Yan Yuan "). Try to establish a gentleman to help realize the cultivation of benevolence or put the high standard of benevolence into concrete practice-gentleman's personality. ?

Confucius once said: "A gentleman has Jiu Si: he can see clearly, listen attentively, look gently, look respectfully, speak faithfully, think respectfully, ask questions in doubt, think hard, and see what he thinks." ("The Analects of Confucius Ji's") is relatively extensive, but it only tells the truth in all aspects of words and deeds. Zeng Shen entered more specific requirements. He said: "gentlemen have three expenses, and diet is not one of them." A gentleman has three pleasures, and Zhong Qing is not one of them ... It is a pleasure to have an awesome relative, a gentleman who works and a son who is left behind. Having relatives to be afraid, a king to go and a son to be angry are two kinds of pleasures; There are gentlemen to compare with, and friends to help. These three pleasures are also ... It is also a cost to learn less and forget long. If you do something meritorious, you will lose it, and if you do, you will lose both. Keep friends for a long time, and you will never get them. These three expenses are also incurred. . "In addition, Ceng Zi Shili has many strict requirements for gentlemen, such as:" A gentleman never forgets to enjoy others, never forgets to be courteous, those who come unprepared and those who leave are careless. The deceased does not slander and is innocent, which can be described as loyalty. A gentleman is respectful but not difficult, comfortable but not comfortable, humble but not flattering, generous but not vertical, generous but not frugal, straight and not going, which can be described as the unity of knowledge and action. " He also said: "When a gentleman enters a country, he doesn't say anything taboo, doesn't violate its prohibition, doesn't keep the clothes of Chinese color, and doesn't say that he is afraid of risks. So he said: "It is better to be frugal than to be extravagant; It's better than embarrassment. "

Obviously, the definition of a gentleman is much more specific and strict than "Jiu Si", although it is not beyond the scope of "Jiu Si". In the whole history of China's ideology and culture, this style of mentoring inheritance is very representative. Because the Zeng Shen school is too strict with the "gentleman", it sometimes reveals some Taoist flavor. The article "Ceng Zi Shili" also said: "A gentleman is never too small, nor is he too small. If people know, they will be willing. If others don't know, they will know. A gentleman should keep it for life. " "A gentleman sees profit and is ashamed, evil and ashamed, lewd and ashamed, angry and bitter. The gentleman will keep this battle for life. " Although this cautious attitude towards life is basically within the scope of Confucianism, it is obvious that the logic of Taoism is used to demand gentlemen, and its tendency of passive avoidance is obvious. This tendency may have been avoided by Zeng Shen at the beginning, but the development of ideas, like many others, can be involved, and it will be difficult to grasp its own deformation after a certain degree. Zeng Shen's requirements for gentleman's cultivation.

2. The concept of modern people

What is a gentleman?

Also want to borrow the metaphor of the ancients:

Confucius called him a "villain" when he swore, and there is a famous saying that "a gentleman is righteous and a villain benefits." The oldest gentleman

Meaning, mainly refers to educated people with good moral character, while ordinary people have no opportunity to receive education, so they are also with uneducated people.

People with high moral character are also called "villains" ...

What is a gentleman?

To borrow a friend's words:

At dinner, talking about "what is a good man", I asked my friend, do you think you are a good man?

He thought for a moment and said, "I don't know what the definition of a good man is, but I am a man of my word and can be called a' gentleman', because the definition of a gentleman is that he has a sense of responsibility and doesn't promise easily, but he can definitely do what he says." Of course, he will say whatever he says and judge the crux of the matter. In modern society, it is difficult to be responsible for various interpersonal relationships and roles. "

I also thought about it and replied: "In fact, not only men who are trustworthy, but also men who wait on time, don't stand in line easily, and don't act arbitrarily easily, such as' drunken crimes', can also be included as gentlemen and good men!"

In fact, we girls are shouting every day that we should find a good man, have the bearing of a gentleman and have the demeanor of a general. In fact, our requirements are not very high. Unfortunately, it may be difficult for men. Because people who bear the name of a gentleman must be very considerate of the feelings of people around them and take care of their families. Unfortunately, for gentlemen, the details of life they are used to are definitely a burden that they have never really been free and easy.

The benefits of a gentleman

It is popular to say that men are not bad and women don't love them.

Some men like to pretend to be "gentlemen", obedient to the woman they like, and make themselves fall into the gentle trap and make a 180-degree change.

Women are naturally curious animals, so they will feel puzzled, pursue, incredible, love and hate!

In fact, a careful and keen observation of a man depends not on pure superficial gentlemanly demeanor, but on knowing more about his living conditions, treating people with things and whether everyone is equal. Don't believe that the world only loves you and only pleases you. As long as he is kind to you, he will not consider anything.

The faults of a gentleman:

If you really fall in love with a gentleman, I advise you to be prepared to accompany him under pressure, because he will have many friends, a lot of entertainment and even take part in accidental amusement.

At this time, sensitive women will have a very sour taste, secretly admit bad luck, so many men in the world, why choose a gentleman and let themselves pay for him silently?

However, I believe that a gentleman must know how to be grateful and be full of expectations and beautiful fantasies. Because they are the most perfect in their own world, they have been expecting the perfect you to advance and retreat with him and grow old together.

Gentleman = persistence

Because a gentleman treats things and things with dignity, it is a kind of consciousness that drives him to persist, which we can define as "persistence"

Persistent people will treat life emotionally and always pursue perfection. Because the reputation of a gentleman is gorgeous and glamorous, I sincerely wish such people can stand out, find their own goals in life and find a world of their own!

The Description of Gentleman in The Analects of Confucius

(1) "A gentleman's righteousness is beneficial to a villain." ("The Analects of Confucius")

"Righteousness" means "propriety", that is to say, a gentleman is always on the right path. The villain attaches great importance to self-interest, and it is easy to go astray driven by self-interest.

(2) "A gentleman is wild, and a villain is pregnant with soil. The gentleman is pregnant with punishment, and the villain is pregnant. " ("The Analects of Confucius")

In other words, gentlemen and villains think differently every day.

A gentleman cares about his moral restoration every day, while a villain remembers his hometown; There is always a rule and statute in a gentleman's heart that cannot be surpassed, while a villain is full of small favors.

(3) "Compassion without dispute, group without party" (The Analects of Wei Linggong).

In other words, gentlemen are gregarious. Although his heart is solemn and sacred, he never argues among a large group of people. At the same time, he will never pull gangs and seek personal gain. This is what Confucius called "gentlemen are harmonious but different" (The Analects of Confucius, Lutz). The villain is just the opposite. He is "harmonious but different" (The Analects of Lutz).

In life, we often see such a scene: when we discuss a thing, before the leader finishes, someone will immediately jump out and say, yes, yes, the leader said it well, and there are a lot of praise words such as strategic thinking and foresight; But after the meeting, he will turn to others and say, hey, what is this leader saying? I totally disagree with him!

Regarding the difference between a gentleman and a villain, Confucius has another expression, which is called "A gentleman is not as good as a week, and a villain is not as good as a villain" ("The Analects of Confucius").

Zhou can unite and take care of many people. He associates with people based on morality, so he has many like-minded friends. No matter how many friends a real gentleman has, he will make his friends feel happy and cared for like oxygen in the air. The glyph "Bi" is like two people standing side by side, indicating that the villain likes to form a small circle and he will not blend into a large group.

(4) the sentence magnanimous, a petty man is anxious and worried.. "(The Analects of Confucius)

The villain likes to collude with each other because he has a ghost in his heart and wants to seek personal gain and safeguard vested interests through this collusion. This is what the so-called "nepotism" means. The gentleman is open-minded, because he is calm and selfless, so he can be peaceful and come together with everyone sincerely.

(5) "A word from a gentleman is a promise. Don't say it; It also allows people, this device. It's easy for the villain to say something difficult. Although it doesn't matter, it is also said; It also makes people want to be prepared. " (The Analects of Confucius Lutz)

Say "Yue" and everyone will be happy. A gentleman is easy for you to get along with, but difficult for you to please. If you try to please him by unfair means, he will be unhappy instead. Never say that if you give him a small favor, he will give you the green light and open the back door. When he really uses you, he will arrange a suitable seat for you according to your talents. This is the so-called "device"

The characteristic of a villain is that you can please him easily, but it is difficult for you to get along with him. There are not a few such people in life. For example, if you give him a little favor, do him a small favor, or even buy him a drink, this person will be very happy. Even if the way you please him is immoral and unfair, he will still be happy. But such people are not easy to work with. Don't think that if you win his favor for a while, he will give you a green light loyally in the future. Although you have spent a lot of effort and money to get through the joints, when he really wants to hire people, he will not arrange a job for you according to your talents. On the contrary, I feel that you are not qualified here and there, and everything you have done before is in vain. He will try his best to make things difficult for you and make you feel embarrassed. So it's hard for you to get along with such people.

"Zhouyi" said: Tian Xingjian, the gentleman constantly strives for self-improvement; The capacity of the earth is limited, so a gentleman must constantly cultivate his own virtue to undertake the world.

The last sentence, "Heaven is healthy, and gentlemen are constantly striving for self-improvement", is more widely circulated. But for two thousand years, many people know and few people can understand. Moreover, there are different explanations in academic circles. At present, there seems to be no recognized correct explanation.

Zhouyi original text

The first divination in the Book of Changes is to do work for heaven.

The elephant said: Heaven is healthy, and gentlemen are constantly striving for self-improvement. If you don't use the hidden dragon, Yang is next. See Long Zaitian, Deshipu also. Do it all day, over and over again. Or jump into the abyss and have no regrets. Fei long is in the sky, and Niu San is also there. Kang long has regrets and cannot last long. With nine, Tiande can't be the first.

……

People who work hard are also people who start from scratch. Chastity, temperament also. In the beginning, we can use beauty to benefit the world, not words. Great! What a big deal! Strong and upright, pure and free from vulgarity. Give full play to six ideas and bypass feelings. Take six dragons to rule the sky. Clouds are raining and the world is flat.

A gentleman's virtue can be seen every day. Implicit words are also hidden, but not seen, which is also used by gentlemen. A gentleman learns to gather, argue, tolerate and be kind.

The second divination, Kun Kun, is Di Kun from top to bottom.

Hunan and Guangdong: the terrain is Kun, and the gentleman carries things with virtue.

……

Classical Chinese says: Kun is soft, but dynamic and firm, quiet and virtuous, winner is constant, inclusive of everything, and turned into light. Kunqi's road is smooth sailing! Inherit the sky and do what you want. If you accumulate a good home, there will be celebration; If you accumulate bad houses, the damage will be even greater.

Interpretation 1:

I ching thinks:

Dry for the horse, Kun for the cow.

Symbolize the sky in Malay.

So it is not difficult to understand that a good horse is constantly striving for self-improvement; Kun is a cow, and cows are used to interpret people's morality.

Some ancient sentences don't need to be elaborated, but the key lies in personal taste.

Interpretation 2:

The Book of Changes says: Heaven is healthy, and gentlemen are constantly striving for self-improvement; The capacity of the earth is limited, so a gentleman must constantly cultivate his own virtue to undertake the world. "Tian Xingjian" and "Terrain Kun" lost their symmetry. What happened?

The silk book Zhouyi records that "Gan" is the key, "Tian Xingjian" is the key of heaven, "Key" is the ancient word of "Gan", and "Key" is also trained as "Sword", which are strung together:

God, okay, damn it. Fuck, Kenya.

According to the Silk Book of Changes, "Kun" means "Chuan", "Stone" means "Perseverance", "Terrain Kun" means "Earth holds Chuan", "Chuan" is the ancient word of "Kun", and "Chuan" is also trained as "Shun", which means:

Di, Cao Ye, Kun (Chuan). Kun, Shunya.

"Earth" also has the power of the original, and "holding" is "potential", so "earth holding Kun" becomes "terrain Kun". "Hold" hold; The meanings of "potential", "force" and "potential" are great.

The people's counselor transformed heaven and earth, participated in "all being", could "recover" and "see the heart of heaven and earth". Heaven and earth, three talents and two talents, walking in the middle, what is the confusion?

God forbid, fuck. Fuck, Kenya. A gentleman strives for self-improvement.

The first place, Kun. Kun, Shunya. A gentleman carries things with virtue.

Interpretation 3:

"Tian Xingjian" comes from Zhouyi: "Tian Xingjian, the gentleman strives for self-improvement" (dry divination) and "the terrain is Kun, and the gentleman carries things with morality" (Kun divination).

It means: the movement of heaven (that is, nature) is strong and healthy, and accordingly, a gentleman should be firm and eager to be strong; The potential of the earth is thick and slippery, and the gentleman is tolerant.

A gentleman should run like Tianyu, indomitable even if he is displaced; If you are a gentleman, the measurement of objects should be like the earth, and nothing can't be carried.