In today's harmonious society, when you have conflicts with others, don't just focus on temporary courage, but also learn to be modest.
Successful people all through the ages know that the word "forbearance" is a family heirloom. Only those who can be ninjas can wait for the opportunity and wait until they have enough strength to fight against their opponents before suddenly fighting back. Therefore, only by tolerating what others can't bear can we achieve success that others can't, accumulate strength for ourselves and accumulate capital for the success of our future career.
Tolerance also occupies a very important position in the general social process. When there are contradictions in life, both parties may be responsible. At this time, if you can take the initiative to "compromise three points" and find your own reasons, it is likely that this quarrel will disappear and win the respect and friendship of the other party.
One day Goethe was walking in the park when a critic who had sharply criticized his works came face to face. The critic stood in front of Goethe and shouted, "I never give way to fools!" " "Goethe replied," but I am just the opposite! " He said this with a big smile on his face. Goethe's humor avoids a meaningless quarrel and can also eliminate his anger. In a sense, this not only helps you get rid of the embarrassing situation, but also shows your mind and tolerance.
Take the high jump as an example. The farther you retreat, the higher you can jump. Only temporary forbearance and loss in interpersonal relationships can gain long-term benefits. The key is to meet each other's needs quietly, that is, to focus on each other's interests and clear the way for their own interests. Ask for help, the requirements can be very high first, and the result is appropriate. The other person will feel guilty for not helping you a lot, and then it will be easier to agree to your smaller request. Or step by step, from letting him do small things to helping big things. Because he has a good impression and dependence on you, he has formed the habit of saying good to you. First high and then low will cause the illusion that you will take a big step back; From small to large, let the other party not notice your true intention of "pushing your luck first". Daily communication is more than opposition. We should remember the old adage that "two tigers strive for each other, and there must be a wound", and don't add fuel to the fire, which will lead to the tragedy of "burning down a big house". If you are reasonable and can compromise, people will not only admit that you are right, but also praise your generosity and let you reach the perfect position that everyone expects.
In the middle of Qing Dynasty, there was a story of "Liuchi Lane". According to legend, the Prime Minister of Tang Dynasty and Assistant Minister Ye were both from Tongcheng, Anhui. The two families live next door and both want to build a house. There is an argument about land. Mrs. Zhang has written a book in Beijing. Please intervene. After all, the prime minister is knowledgeable. After reading the letter, he immediately wrote a poem to persuade the old lady: "A thousand miles of letters are just separated by a wall. Why not let them go three feet?" The Great Wall of Wan Li is still there today, but I haven't seen Qin Shihuang. "When Zhang Mu saw that the book made sense, she immediately took the initiative to step back three feet. Ye Jia was deeply ashamed to see this scene, and immediately put the wall back three feet. In this way, a six-foot-wide roadway was formed between the courtyard walls of Zhang Heye and became the famous "six-foot alley". This is the way it is: it is impossible to fight; Excuse me, Liuchi Lane. Ancient enlightened people could still do this. Today, comrades should deal with minor problems and right and wrong more than in feudal times.
Tolerance is not cowardice, but a kind of confidence and tenacity. The word "forbearance" used by the ancients has at least the following two meanings: First, tenacity and tenacity. Zhu Si of the Jin Dynasty said, "I must endure the confrontation between the two enemies; He can't stand it, so can I, and it's for the ears. " (Biography of Zhu Jin) The forbearance here is the embodiment of tenacious spirit. The second is inhibition. "Xunzi Confucianism": "I endure private, and then I can be public; Be patient with inertia, and then you can fix it. " Lu You, a patriotic poet in the Song Dynasty, who is known as "a romantic figure through the ages", has the ambition to serve the country and dismount the grass, and also wrote that "it often takes an inscription to endure". This kind of patience, isn't it the precious character of their tenacity? Where does it mean that they are weak and can be bullied? It is a wise saying that "a little tolerance leads to great mischief", and there is nothing wrong with it. The problem is to see what it is. The story of the idiom "offer a humble apology" has been passed down as an eternal beauty talk: Lin Xiangru, as a prime minister, is in a high position, and he doesn't care about Lian Po, but he is humble everywhere. Why? For the country. "Peace" means national unity; If the country has no bad blood, the enemy will not dare to take it. Lin Xiangru's forbearance is precisely for the sake of national stability.
Since the occupation, all successful businessmen have experienced and endured indescribable pain and hardship.
In the Tang Dynasty, Mr. Lou's morality was profound, broad-minded and patient. His brother was very angry after he was relieved of the national guard. Teacher Lou advised his younger brother, "You should learn to be patient, and don't be furious because you are dismissed." His brother said, "If someone spits in my face, can I dry it myself?" Teacher Lou said, "no, you can't dry the saliva that others spit on your face, which will cause others to spit more." You should let it do it by itself. " Later, Lou's morality won the appreciation of Wu Zetian and became prime minister.
As the saying goes, "people have to bow their heads under the eaves." As long as you endure everything, you can eliminate disasters and solve problems. To say the least, a wise man can endure unbearable things in the world. As long as you learn to be patient, no matter how clever the provocation is, it will lose its effect in front of you. However, tolerance is not unprincipled. Principles should be emphasized in major events, and style should be emphasized in minor events. On the issue of principle, we can't compromise and give in, but we should strive for it according to reason and not give an inch of land. But it's not a big temper, make a scene. We should calmly state the facts, be reasonable, act according to the law, and convince people that the arms race can be turned into friendship.
Tolerance is a spirit of tolerance and an indispensable virtue. Tolerance can make people get along well and develop harmoniously. It is a person's ideological accomplishment and moral sentiment to be patient and tolerant when it is time to be patient.
Tolerance is a kind of magnanimity with an open mind, and it is a plump and mellow psychological state. At the same time, it is also the peak of a person's wisdom, a maturity that has read all the vicissitudes of life. With this mentality, you can calm yourself in adversity; When it's smooth sailing, smile at praise, applause and flowers. With this mentality, you can be indifferent and peaceful, not arrogant and impetuous, you can be calm and calm, and you can let your soul exude elegant fragrance.
"Nine times out of ten things go wrong in life", and those who expect sweet love will inevitably have the distress of lovelorn; A family that has always been harmonious will inevitably have a quarrel of "the horse spoon touches the edge of the pot"; Friends who are considered trustworthy are occasionally misunderstood and even separated; Struggle for the cause may be envied by mediocre people ... These "disappointments" in life often test a person's cultivation level: some people will not only resolve contradictions, but also shake hands and make peace. The so-called "losing is a blessing" and "hard to be confused" means having a broad mind and more patience, and life will be more bright and less bleak.
If you want to be patient, you should first pay attention to the cultivation of your own character. Be strict with yourself, be lenient with others, evaluate yourself correctly, treat others dialectically, be modest and prudent, be kind to others, and never treat others as a thorn in the side and a thorn in the flesh, because some trivial things cause contradictions. Second, learn to be patient. In work and daily life, things that are misunderstood often happen, and some people even do things that are not good for you. At this time, they often can't control their emotions, are impulsive, don't accommodate each other, quarrel with each other, and even fight. If you put up with it first, and then solve it in the spirit of mutual understanding and mutual accommodation after the contradiction has eased, then you will have unexpected results. Third, treat the gains and losses correctly. If a person always likes to take advantage of others, he must have the upper hand in everything. On the surface, he seems to be "earning", but he has lost something valuable-the trust of others. Being patient and making concessions on some unprincipled issues seems to be a kind of "loss", but it has won a good reputation, created a good psychological and social environment, and made some achievements in my career.
Patience is a cathartic, a healthy electrocardiogram and a passport to a better world. Let the world be more tolerant, and let happiness and happiness always accompany you, me and him. ...