If you can learn from failure, it is not failure.

-Leonard Ned nagel

90% of the losers are not really defeated, but have given up the hope of success.

Paul J. Meyer

The most critical factor that determines a person's success or not is how he or she treats failure. Anyone who wants to succeed must find a magic weapon to overcome failure and move on. Otherwise, failure will inevitably lead to disappointment, and disappointment will lead to ruin.

Fear of failure

"Failure" is a negative word, even its tone is negative. Except "death", there is no other word that is more daunting. When you hear someone say that someone is really a failure, you will see such a picture in your mind; A poor person may not even have friends; Money, success, hope and bright future have nothing to do with him.

People are afraid of failure for many reasons. There are several reasons:

Fear of criticism

Incredibly, some people are afraid of being criticized. These people seem to live in the words of Jane borman: "If you have any questions, take them to yourself."

Most of the most accomplished people in history have been mercilessly criticized, but they are tenacious. My favorite example is george Whitefield,/kloc-an English evangelist in the 8th century. He was slandered more than his contemporaries. His enemies threatened to kill him and bought off the killer. They excommunicated him and ordered him to leave town. But he refused to leave. They locked his church, refused to let him in and forced him to preach in the street. They hired clowns to put on the devil's clothes and laugh at him. They threw mud, rotten eggs, rotten tomatoes and dead cat meat at him. They threw stones at him more than once and killed him.

Many celebrities in whitefield's time have publicly accused him. These celebrities include Dr. Johnson, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Oliver Goldsmith, william hogarth, horace Walpole and the Duchess of Buckingham.

However, all these criticisms failed to stop him from continuing his missionary career.

Thousands of believers flocked to the fields outside London to hear his sermon. He preached to miners in Wales and Scotland and successfully raised funds for orphanages.

Whitefield experiences about 65,438+00 failures every day. He didn't give up in the face of severe criticism. He knew in his heart that his career was right and stuck to it.

If you are afraid of criticism, you should focus on what you think is right, no matter what others say about you. Some people always have endless negative words. As Lloyd Corey said, "criticism is a hundred times easier than creation."

Afraid of adventure

Walter Disney is one of the most visionary and creative figures in the 20th century. He said, "If we have the courage to pursue it, all our dreams can come true." If everyone who once had an "outstanding" idea had the courage to practice it, the world would not be what it is today. Unfortunately, the reality is that very few people can overcome the psychology that makes them afraid to take risks. In order to succeed, you must take some risks. You must be willing to be in adversity, after all, it is a fruitful place.

Afraid of losing confidence

Norman vincent peale said: "If you are sure that you have been defeated and have this feeling of failure for a long time, then failure is likely to come true." Some people are afraid of failure because they think that failure will make people lose confidence. Therefore, they try to put themselves in a foolproof position. Unfortunately, this attitude also puts them in a position where they can't make any outstanding achievements. They make their life mediocre, which is not conducive to cultivating self-confidence. Any self-confidence of them will be eroded by doubts about "what would have been".

If you risk losing confidence anyway, why not take action and do your best? If you fail after trying, you have nothing to lose; If you succeed through hard work, you will be better than before. On the contrary, if you don't work hard, you have no chance of success.

Afraid of not having a second chance

One of the biggest fears of many people about failure is that if they fail, they will never have a second chance to succeed. If these people know how many famous successful people failed at first, it will give them hope.

Henry Ford said, "Failure is just an opportunity to start again more wisely." Ford himself certainly had a direct experience of failure. When he first set foot in the automobile industry, his company went bankrupt. He succeeded for the third time. Ford Motor Company is still full of vitality and remains one of the largest automobile manufacturers in the world.

The hero of another famous failure story is a young man. His dream is to enter the United States Military Academy at West Point and serve the country after graduation. I didn't get into the exam twice, and finally got my wish when I entered the exam for the third time. This young man is douglas macarthur. Later, he became one of the most senior generals in the United States and served as commander-in-chief of the allied forces in the southwest Pacific during World War II. Like Henry Ford, in the first few stops of his dream journey, he failed not once but twice. Like Ford, he didn't give up.

No one can fail all his life. This sounds too simple, but it is a wise saying. I want to say it again: no one never fails in life.

Understanding this truth is very important for dealing with failure. Knowing this, you will realize that failure is inevitable. In this way, you will not waste time and energy to avoid failure, but concentrate on dealing with failure and turning it into victory.

Many kind, intelligent and hardworking people are crushed by failure. They give up their efforts as soon as they encounter obstacles, and they believe in negative thinking. These people asserted that their dreams could not be realized. In the history of the world, there are many people who have extraordinary potential but give up their efforts prematurely. Most of them did not give full play to their potential until their death.

Fortunately, there are still people in this world who are making unremitting efforts, such as the Polish pianist Padlevski. When he chose to play the piano, his music teacher said that his hands were too small to master the keys. Another example is the outstanding Italian tenor caluso. When he first signed up for a music class, people said that his voice was like the wind blowing through the window. There was one person who persisted in the end, and that was Benjiamin Disraeli, a great Victorian British politician. When he first spoke in parliament, people booed him to stop. He said, "Although I have stopped now, one day you will hear the news that I am famous." This sentence caused a burst of laughter.

A good way to overcome failure

History has proved that those who achieve great things are those who overcome failure and pursue their dreams persistently. They are tenacious and have worked out a successful strategy. If you want to succeed, you should also have a set of strategies to overcome failure. I think the following suggestions will help you.

Recognize the essence of failure

The first step to defeat failure is to recognize the essence of failure: failure is a temporary setback. As long as you don't give up, failure is not a foregone conclusion. Delay is not necessarily fatal. Stress is not eternal. Failure should be regarded as a milestone on the road to success, not a coffin nail. How to deal with failure is an attitude problem.

Review failures and learn from them.

William a ward said, "failure should be our teacher, not the grave digger;" Failure is a short delay, not a complete failure. ..... Failure is a temporary detour, not a dead end. "

If you can look at failure in this way, you can go into battle lightly and take the second important step to overcome failure. You must regard failure as an opportunity to learn.

Unsuccessful people try to stop and do other things. Their motto is: "If you don't succeed at first, destroy all the evidence you have tried." On the contrary, successful people can review their failures after the first failure, learn from them, and then try to do the same thing again. If necessary, they will even repeat the process of failure in order to learn more. Because they stick to the end and will succeed in the end.

The next time you fail, you should look back and objectively analyze the reasons for the failure. You can try again by checking the reason and changing the practice. Only by trying again can we become smarter and have more conditions for success.

See one's weaknesses clearly

The hardest thing to learn from failure is to find and face up to the personal weaknesses that lead to failure. This process needs a truly honest personality. Once you clearly see your weaknesses, you should start to work hard to overcome them.

Many examples can be found in the lives of many historical figures, and Lord Nelson is one of them. He was the commander of the fleet and later became the most famous naval hero in Britain. Nelson was seasick all his life. But the hero who destroyed Napoleon's fleet never let seasickness get in the way of his career. Needless to say, he gradually adapted to and overcame this weakness.

Most of us also have a weakness similar to seasickness. Some people have physical problems, while others have psychological problems. Usually, overcoming shortcomings is a quiet battle for individuals. We won't win a medal for it. But if we really succeed, we will know that we persisted to the end and were not defeated by our own shortcomings. This satisfaction will never fade.

Adjust your efforts.

Another important part of overcoming failure is to adjust your efforts for success. You can't overcome failure by repeating mistakes. However, some people do just that. They repeat the same mistakes, but they are bent on pursuing different results.

I remember the story told by an outstanding plastic surgeon in St. Louis, Missouri, USA. One of his patients is a boy, and his right hand is wrist fracture. When the doctor asked the boy about the disabled part, the boy said, "I don't have a disability, but my right hand is gone."

Later, the doctor learned that this boy scored the most points on the American football team in his middle school. The boy didn't give up his efforts because of his obvious defects, he just made the necessary adjustments to succeed.

Re-competition

Now let's talk about losing the last step. After all the analysis and adjustment like the boy without the right hand, there is still a problem, that is, going back to the game. If you don't re-enter, you will never have a chance to succeed.

Fleche L. Byron said, "Learning from mistakes is an old saying. I have a more powerful expression for this truth: I said, "If you don't make mistakes, you can't learn anything. "At first glance, it sounds a bit strange. However, you can often measure whether a person is willing to learn from trying new things by the number of times he makes mistakes. If you look back on the past year at the end of the year and say, "I didn't make any mistakes," then you haven't tried your best to try new things. If you can say, "I made a lot of mistakes, but these mistakes were made when I was working hard, growing up and taking risks, then you are likely to learn and make progress while growing up." "

If you are always at the forefront, you will make great progress. That is, you will make many mistakes. If you learn from these mistakes, then you are on the road to success.

Seeds of disappointment

For those who constantly strive for success, but fail again and again, the biggest challenge is how to overcome disappointment. Although everyone will fail-because failure is inevitable-not everyone will be disappointed. The so-called failure, including not achieving the goal or not completing the task, is external. On the contrary, disappointment is an internal attitude, controllable and internal.

Everyone's life has planted the seeds of disappointment. The question is, what should we do with these seeds? What should I do if I water and fertilize them, make them overgrown with weeds, and finally suffocate people? Or water and fertilize these weeds so that they can't grow and hurt us?

Here are the four most common reasons why people feel depressed. Recognize these "disappointed" seeds to prevent them from growing into "disappointed" weeds.

First, everything is dominated by me.

Selfishness is one of the most common reasons for disappointment. If a person thinks about himself in everything and measures everything in life by whether it is good for him or not, then he is sowing the seeds of disappointment.

Psychological counselors often advise depressed people to find others (especially those less fortunate than themselves) and do something for them. This advice often makes disappointed people start to pay less attention to themselves. As selfishness decreases, their disappointment will also decrease. If you get discouraged easily, you can try to spend some time helping and serving others. This is an excellent method that is beneficial to both people and themselves.

Second, I mistakenly think that the opportunity will not come again.

Nothing is more disappointing than thinking that the opportunity will never come again. Losing opportunities leads to losing hope, and losing hope can be frustrating.

There is an important fact worth remembering: opportunities always seem small when they come and great when they go. In other words, many people can easily see a lost opportunity. It is even harder for them to see an opportunity that has not yet arrived. When it is easy for you to see the lost opportunity, but you can't see the upcoming opportunity, you are likely to lose confidence. But there is news: whether you see it now or not, there will always be new opportunities on the horizon.

There are two things you can do to avoid being discouraged:

1. Keep an insight. If you remember that new opportunities keep coming, you won't always regret lost opportunities, and you won't bother yourself.

Learn to see opportunities when they come. If you train yourself to see opportunities, you can seize them. Talk to successful people who seize opportunities and ask them what they think of opportunities. Read books about the lives of great men and learn how they succeeded. Develop a way of thinking that constantly seeks opportunities at ordinary times.

Third, think that success should come immediately.

The success of successful people is not achieved overnight. This is the result of their continuous efforts and perseverance. Once you make this discovery, you won't be discouraged because you didn't succeed overnight.

A study by the American Textile Retailers Association pointed out that the initial efforts were not successful, and almost half of the promotion activities failed. Please look at the following statistics:

48% of salesmen quit after finding someone.

25% of the salesmen found two people and quit.

15% of the salesmen found three people and quit.

12% of the salesmen continue to work after finding three people (80% of the business is done by these salesmen).

As George H. Mason said, "We won the victory not by clever means, but by constant efforts." The following person's life track most convincingly illustrates the value of courage and perseverance (on the right is his age at the time of every major event):

Business failure, 22 years old.

Failed to run for state legislature, 23 years old.

The business failed again. 24 years old

Elected to the state legislature at the age of 25.

My lover died at the age of 26.

Nervous breakdown, 27 years old

Failed to run for state speaker, 29 years old

Failed to run for the electoral college 3 1 year old

Failed to run for Congress, 34 years old.

Elected to parliament at the age of 37.

Congressman failed to be re-elected, 39 years old.

Failed to run for senator, 46 years old.

Failed to run for vice president, 47 years old

At the age of 49, he failed to run for the Senate again

Elected president of the United States 5 1 year old

This man is abraham lincoln. Many people think that he is the greatest president in American history.

Always remember that no one can guarantee that success will come immediately, and more often it takes a lot of time. We believe that most people who became famous overnight achieved these achievements through years of hard work. They are the kind of people who firmly believe that they can succeed without being discouraged and keep working hard.

Fourth, there is no goal and no plan.

Finally, many people find that when they have no goals and no plans to win, they will be discouraged. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, the phonograph and thousands of things. He described what he thought were five elements of invention. These reflect how he made a targeted plan. These five elements are:

1. The ability to clearly judge what to achieve.

2. Concentrate and mobilize all means to achieve this goal.

3. Not afraid of setbacks, the ability to keep looking for successful methods

4. The ability to persist knowing that others may fail with similar ideas or methods.

I am convinced that there must be a solution. As long as I persist, I will find the ability of this method.

Edison was a man who refused to be disappointed. Even when his laboratory and its contents were destroyed by fire, he never considered giving up. He saw the fire as an opportunity to start over, and this time it would be better.

It is important to have an overall goal, set various goals and allocate time well. This will be the content of the third, fourth and fifth chapters of this book.

Overcome disappointment

Maybe you or someone you know is a little discouraged. Maybe you don't know what to do. Don't be disappointed, you will change from discouragement to courage. The following four steps can help you.

Strive for positive action

I said in the first chapter that if you wait until you want to do it, you will never do it. You must do this first, and other feelings will follow.

I heard a story about a poet walking in his garden and seeing a bird's nest on the ground. Just now, a strong wind blew through the treetops and blew the bird's nest to the ground. Just as the poet was thinking sadly about the destroyed bird's nest, he looked up and saw that the birds had begun to build another nest on the branch. Birds are not discouraged by the destruction of strong winds. They are already taking positive actions.

Start thinking positively.

As I said in the first chapter, you only get a little positive from your success. Let me give another example of positive thinking and persistent efforts. One of the most famous horse races in history is called "battleship". Battleship has won the championship for six times in a row at the age of two. 19 19, the "battleship" lost for the first time, to a horse named "sadness". What happened was this: Before the race, the horse waited outside the fence for five minutes, much longer than usual. "Warships" are always nervous before each departure. It started badly this time. When all the horses finally rushed out of the hurdle, the battleship was the fifth of the seven horses.

Thoroughbred horses are usually restless. Some winning horses will give up if they can't run well, but "warships" won't. It bravely tried to shorten the distance it pulled down. Halfway through the competition, it has risen from fifth place to fourth place. By the third quarter of the competition, it was already the third place. When these horses entered the final sprint, they had secured the second place. There are ten horses before the finish line, and their heads have been aimed at the sad saddle. If the race is longer, the warship will win.

The story is not over yet. A year later, Battleship and Sorrow fought again, and Battleship won.

If you want to overcome disappointment, you should think positively. If you believe you can win, you have a chance to win. If you think you are doomed to fail, you are doomed to fail.

Study the case of positive thinkers

Studying the cases of active and persistent people and competing with them is one of the best ways to fight disappointment. The research object can be successful people you know, or you can read biographies to study their lives, their advantages and how they gradually gained these advantages. These success stories can be seen everywhere. I love to hear/kloc-the story of the Mongolian emperor Mughal in the 4th century. Once the emperor saw a positive example in nature and was greatly encouraged. At that time, his army was defeated by powerful enemies. The emperor himself was lying in the trough of an abandoned stable, and the enemy was searching for him.

The Mughal emperor lay dejected and despondent in the valley. At this moment, he saw an ant trying to carry a corn and climb a vertical wall. This corn is much bigger than the ant's body. The ant tried 69 times and fell down every time. When the ant tried for the 70th time, it finally pushed the corn over the wall.

Mughal shouted and jumped up! He can also win the final victory! He did it-regrouped the army and dispersed the enemy. Finally, his empire extended from the Black Sea coast to Huan River.

Cultivate a positive and persistent attitude

Persistent efforts seem to be one of the most important reasons for a person's success. Napoleon Hill, the author of Get Rich with Your Brain, studied the lives of the 500 most successful people in America and got to know many of them. He found an indispensable element in the success stories of these people: persistence. These people work hard even after repeated failures. In his view, only those who can overcome incredible obstacles and great disappointment can achieve great success. His words are similar to those of Buka T. Washington, an American inventor: "I understand that success is not measured by the height of a person's life, but by the number of obstacles he has overcome on his way to success."

Harold Sherman wrote a book called How to Turn Defeat into Victory. The author lists eight persistent spirits in the book:

1. As long as you firmly believe that you are right, you will never give up.

I am convinced that as long as I stick to it, everything will be solved.

I will be full of courage and never be discouraged in adversity.

I won't allow anyone to intimidate or threaten me to give up my goal.

I will try my best to overcome physical obstacles and setbacks.

6. I will try to do what I want again and again.

Knowing that both successful men and women have struggled against failure and adversity, I will gain new confidence and determination.

No matter what obstacles I face, I will not give in to disappointment and despair.

In the process of striving for success, we should not underestimate the importance of persistence. Perseverance is one of the qualities that must be cultivated to overcome disappointment. Here are six elements that help develop perseverance:

Having a clear goal and knowing what you want is the first and most important step to cultivate perseverance. Only with a clear goal can you overcome the difficulties.

desire

When a person pursues what he desires, it is easier to cultivate and maintain resilience.

Specific goals: arranging specific goals in order can stimulate people's spirit of struggle.

Nothing can replace doing homework. Recognizing the feasibility of one's own plan from one's own experience and observation can motivate people to stick to it. There are countless things in my heart, and relying solely on speculation will produce the opposite result.

cooperate

Maintaining an attitude of sympathy, understanding and harmonious cooperation with others will help to cultivate resilience.

Willpower: concentrate on carrying out all the plans made to achieve a clear goal, and you will have perseverance.

The direct result of habit formation is unremitting efforts. People's brains are absorbing what they experience every day and printing these experiences in their minds.

No matter where you are and what you do, people with a positive attitude can fully enjoy life. But those who overcome failure and get rid of disappointment will enjoy greater happiness in life. They are more capable of pursuing their dreams and achieving success. I'll tell another story about a man who can overcome failure and get rid of disappointment.

1490, King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain appointed a royal committee to examine Columbus's plan to find a shortcut to the legendary Indies.

This committee, composed of the most famous geographers and scholars in Spain, examined Columbus's plan and submitted the results to the king and queen. They said that Columbus's plan was not feasible and could not be realized.

Fortunately, the king and queen, especially Columbus himself, kept their confidence at this critical moment. Ignoring the experts' opinions, Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria set sail. Needless to say, the ending of the story. Columbus proved that the earth is not flat but round. He discovered the new continent and rewritten human history. Experts believe that what could have been done is impossible, and such stories can be seen everywhere in history. Fortunately, people like Columbus ignored the opinions of these experts, overcame the failure and finally succeeded. They can do it, so can you.

Practice on the road to success

1. Find an example of your last failure and make up your mind to learn from it. You can ask yourself the following questions:

(1) What caused this failure?

(2) How to increase the chances of success next time you encounter a similar situation?

(3) Is this failure due to my weakness? If so, what are the plans to overcome this weakness?

(4) If I haven't done so, what can I do to "get back into the game"?

Failure is often accompanied by unexpected opportunities. Look back and see what failures in the past finally gave you opportunities you didn't have. Almost everyone has had this experience at least several times. Based on these observations, think about what opportunities will arise due to recent failures. How do you seize the present opportunity?

3. Choose three successful people you know. Make an appointment with them and ask them to talk about the opportunities they have seized in life and how they viewed them at the beginning. You can even ask them if there are any opportunities suitable for you at present.

Read the biographies of the people you admire most, and pay attention to their perseverance and ability to overcome failure. Write down the characters and habits they gradually developed in the process of success. Then think about how to cultivate these personalities in your own life.

5. Write down your own belief in persistence (similar to that written by Harold Sherman). Stick this creed where you can see it every day and check whether you have done it regularly.