Yes, I don't want to make peace with the past or the family I came from.

Over the years, I have been looking for ways of reconciliation and forgiveness. It seems that one must reconcile all unhappiness. It seems that it is wrong not to reconcile, and there will be no happiness without reconciliation.

But when I echoed gratitude again and again and pretended to make up, my mood came back even more violently. I hate it, but I can't hate it. I hate it because I was wrong. I am doomed to suffer. Chicken soup teaches us to be grateful, generous and tolerant.

People like me who read a lot of chicken soup always use their thoughts to dispel some emotions that I think are bad. Because, I think those are all wrong. I want to be a tolerant and generous woman, so that I can be wise and educated.

I really want to say, fuck you.

Emotion is just a kind of energy. It came and left. When I am angry, my energy will surge. After my judgment is not good, I will force it down. Now that I think about it, the operation of this process is really hard.

Once I was chatting with a sister, I said, "I'm very angry now, damn it, I can't wait for that person and his whole family to die." She said, "You can't talk like that, there will be retribution." I just want to scold the grass mud horse at the moment when I finish cursing those words in my mind, vent my anger and play with that person again, and there is no gap. I have tried to swallow my pride, and I am always vaguely angry. Everything a man does makes people look uncomfortable and stay angry for longer.

I have been angered, so I can't scold myself. Can't you scold me behind my back? I think it's a deal? My revenge is wrong, but I can't hold a grudge yet? God, what's the point?

I won't settle! I don't want to think that they are all here to teach me my homework! I just wanted to be angry at that moment. If I am angry enough, I will be fine. Reconciliation, such self-consolation, is unreasonable. If reconciliation still needs persuasion, don't let it go. Just admit that I still hate, get angry and hate you. In fact, I won't have the power to destroy others. Why lie to yourself? The stupidest thing is to lie to yourself and persuade yourself.