Famous quote, this sentence comes from Er Cheng's "Henan Cheng Family's Posthumous Letters".

Classic Interpretation

"The Posthumous Letters of the Cheng Family in Henan" records a conversation between Cheng Yi and another person. Someone asked Cheng Yi whether it was unreasonable to marry a widow. Cheng Yi said that remarrying a widow was a breach of integrity, and marrying a disloyal person was also a breach of integrity. The man asked if the widow could remarry if she was very poor. Cheng Yi said, "It is a small matter to die of starvation, but it is a big thing to lose integrity." It can be seen from this that what Cheng Yi said was not specifically referring to women, but that neither men nor women could "lose their moral integrity." Remarrying a widow is an act of immorality. When a man marries a widow, he puts the widow in an unjust position. It is a crime that he knowingly commits, so it is also an act of immorality. Cheng Yi's statement that "starving to death is a small matter but being dishonest is a big matter" was just a matter of fact and did not attract attention at the time. Fan Zhongyan, a famous official in the Northern Song Dynasty, encouraged widows to remarry. His son Chunhu died early. It happened that the wife of his student Wang Tao also died, so he married his widowed daughter-in-law to Wang Tao. Cheng Yi himself did not follow what he said. He once arranged a marriage for a widowed niece. Even in the Southern Song Dynasty, it was common for widows to remarry, and even divorce and remarriage occurred from time to time. Both Li Qingzhao and Tang Wan remarried, which did not cause controversy at the time. Even the emperor did not discriminate against remarriage and remarriage.

However, this sentence became a shackles restricting women's behavior in the Southern Song Dynasty and even after the Yuan and Ming Dynasties. This was obviously not in line with Cheng Yi's original intention. After Zhu Xi, the constraints of ethics on people have become increasingly severe. "Starving to death is a small matter, but being unruly is a big matter" has gradually become a tool for the patriarchal society to oppress women. This is a complete misreading of the thinker's original intention out of context.