Some parents will answer: tap the child's interest, let him have the attitude of "I can do it" and "I want to do it", and give encouragement. It sounds simple, but in fact it's not that easy to do.
Today, we will talk about the "five-step cycle method" in the book "Childhood, the source of happiness in life" by Harvard psychologist Edward Hallowell.
The steps of the five-step cycle method are: connection-play-practice-mastery-cognition. It can improve self-esteem, cultivate moral behavior, actively respond to adversity, create eternal happiness and cultivate internal drive. Next, let's see how it is done:
1
join
Connection: it is the most important link in the five steps, which drives the whole cycle. Nature endows most parents and children with the instinct to seek contact. The reason why "most" is emphasized is that a few children with autism and childhood schizophrenia are born with no ability to contact others.
Simply put, parents should give their children unconditional love. Make clear the meaning of contact and regard contact as the basis for family members to get along.
What parents should do is to tell their children in adversity that you are not alone in the face of difficulties. It is this connection that nourishes every moment of children's growth. If children can have a safe attachment relationship and experience a strong sense of connection in the early stage of growth, they can form a "I can do it" attitude towards life in the future.
2
play
Children's task is to play, and parents should understand the meaning of play. Here are some suggestions for parents' reference:
Parents need to limit their children's time to play electronic products, set aside time for their children to play every day, and don't arrange too much extracurricular study for their children. Remember not to turn teenagers' activity learning into a stressful stage, and find a place for children to play when you are free.
Playing makes people happy, which is a reward in itself. Let's sow the seeds into childhood while the children are playing.
three
practise
Practice is a bridge between play and mastery. Children find what they like to do in play, and interest can encourage them to practice again. In this process, parents need to provide encouragement and support for their children.
In fact, children also like adults to set rules for them. Rules provide conditions for freedom, and children also want to know what is right and wrong. The more disciplined children are, the healthier and happier they are.
Failure is the first step to success. Parents need to let their children learn to face up to their failures. When children feel that practice is tolerable, they can also accept setbacks.
four
grasp
In fact, in life, we have been going through this process, from the beginning, we didn't understand anything, and later, through practice, we finally mastered it.
After a period of practice, children will soon enjoy the joy of mastering a certain skill and can't help cheering "I did it!" " "I can do it! "Nothing is more exciting than this. Occasionally, we can experience the joy of mastery. Once we have tasted it, we can't wait to try it again.
Mastery can enhance children's self-confidence, improve their autonomy and cultivate their strong perseverance.
five
identify
The next step is naturally to get everyone's recognition and affirmation. Identity often comes from parents, relatives and friends, classmates and society. Identity means that one's own value is affirmed by others, especially by people who are important to oneself.
When the baby just learns to walk, parents will happily pick up the camera and record this moment. When children learn to shoot, they will definitely play with their peers. Mastering the shooting skills will make him recognized by his peers.
Every time you master it, you will get more recognition, whether from parents, relatives, classmates or anyone who witnessed your mastery of the skills.
label
These five steps finally point to one direction-let children gain something from exploration and learning and become an optimistic, happy and self-respecting person.
The content of the book mainly revolves around two points: unconditional love for children and the influence of childhood on people's life. Now that we all know what to do, let's start now. As long as we take the first step and carefully cultivate children's optimism, we can not only help children, but also make ourselves happier.
1802, the English poet william wordsworth wrote a short poem "My heart jumped for joy":
The rainbow came into view that day, and my heart jumped; I have been like this since I was born, I still am, and I will be like this in the future, otherwise I would rather die! The child is the father of an adult. ......
May all children have a wonderful childhood, and may every adult remember the moment when he first saw the rainbow.
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