As a human being, loneliness is the norm

I read an article about loneliness on Zhihu some time ago, and there was a loneliness scale in it that struck me for a long time. It says that the first level is for going to the supermarket alone; the second level is for going to a fast food restaurant alone; the third level is for going to a coffee shop alone; the fourth level is for going to the movies alone; and the fifth level is for eating alone. Hot pot; Level 6 is to go to KTV alone; Level 7 is to go see the sea alone; Level 8 is to go to an amusement park alone; Level 9 is to move alone; Level 10 is to have surgery alone. If we evaluate a person's loneliness according to the above criteria, I think I should be a severely lonely patient.

? Someone once interpreted the word "loneliness": Taken apart, these two words include children, fruits, animals, mosquitoes and flies, as if they suddenly support the entrance of the alley in the midsummer evening. , but it seems full of human touch. But in fact, people are lonely after all. We are born and come into this world alone. When we are old and we say goodbye, we still leave naked and alone. No one can always be with someone, and no one can always be alone. Even couples who love each other, at the last moment of their lives, still need one person to go first; even if it is a heart-stirring love story, it is still difficult to escape the ending of the song and the separation.

? I think everyone has experienced the feeling of loneliness, eating alone, shopping alone, walking on empty streets alone, traveling alone, going to see the scenery alone, going alone When you go to the doctor, there is no one to share, no one to accompany, no one to comfort, and you can't even find anyone to talk to. Even the shadow around you reminds you all the time that you are lonely and you are just yourself.

Although we all experience loneliness, I don’t think many people can say what it feels like. Maybe it’s how you feel when you’re walking alone on the street, watching other people chatting and laughing, cuddling together happily and sweetly; maybe it’s also how you feel when you’re in the dead of night, looking at the thousands of lights but none of them are lit for you; Maybe you are still feeling wronged and in pain but find that no one can listen to your complaints.

Because we have been taught since childhood that we should strive to be gregarious, it seems that it is our nature to be afraid of loneliness. But it is often in lonely time that we grow most quickly. Forced by this environment, you learn to think alone, bear responsibility alone, and enjoy the lonely moment alone. I think what you gain after experiencing loneliness is the confidence to face life calmly. As Liu Tong said: "Before loneliness, there is confusion, and after loneliness, there is growth."

So we don't need to be afraid. I remember someone once said: Enjoying loneliness is an important sign of maturity.

Perhaps only those who have experienced loneliness for a long time will find that loneliness is the norm when we are born as humans.