Children's growth is a long and complicated process, and family, school and society are the three major environmental factors that affect children's growth. Years of research tells us that children's problems and diseases are rooted in the family, and the symptoms are obvious in school, and the virus harms society. It can be seen that the education of parents is like the education of roots, as educator Bahat said: "One parent is better than a hundred principals."

At present, everything in China advocates integration with the developed countries in the world, but the parent education that needs integration with the developed countries in the world most has been forgotten by us. If young couples in some developed countries want to get a marriage certificate, they must attend a parent school organized by the government and get a marriage certificate after training.

However, China's parents generally adhere to a casual and relaxed attitude: as long as they have a marriage certificate, they can have children; As long as you have the ability to have children, you have the ability to educate them. Some parents even think that any adult can educate children, grandparents can educate children, and nannies can educate children. Many parents in China often don't begin to fear their children's education until their children become "problem students" at school.

Treat children as human beings and understand the growth law of children. Farmers can't grow crops just by love. Only when they know how to grow crops can they have a good harvest. Teaching children that love is not enough. Only by understanding the growth law of children can we have a good future. What China needs most is not children, but parents.

1. You can't "return the goods" after giving birth to a child.

Educating children is the most important and difficult knowledge for human beings. Parents are the class teachers whose children will never retire, and they are responsible for their children's life. No matter how successful parents are in their careers, they can't offset the consequences of failure in educating their children. It is a crime against family and human civilization to train a genius into a mediocrity. Educating children successfully is the most important success for your family and your life.

2. Don't miss the critical period of children's development.

Do you know how many children are in a critical period of development?

The critical period of learning to chew (6 months).

Critical period of order specification (2.5~6 years old). The critical period for the formation of children's behavior habits, the character, behavior and habits formed during this period often will not change when they grow up. "Look at three years old, look at seven years old."

The critical period of language development (3~6 years old).

The critical period of imagination development (2~8 years old).

Cultural sensitive period (6~ 10 years old): Many children in this period are curious, fond of thinking and have many problems. Children's thirst for knowledge should be satisfied.

Golden reading period (8~ 14 years old): If you miss scientific reading guidance and a lot of reading during this period, it will cause irreparable defects to your child's growth.

Critical period of independence (12~ 15 years old): If you don't grasp this period well, your child will never grow up.

3. Re-recognize maternal love and fatherly love.

Motherly love: virtue and etiquette, character and temperament. Mothers have a great influence on children's infancy and childhood.

Direction guidance and rational action. A great father must be a guide for children and a creator of ideas.

Law: The maternal love that children need to grow up is decreasing, while the paternal love is increasing.

The connecting stage from primary school to middle school is the end of the romantic stage of children's growth and the beginning of the precise stage; It is a transitional period from maternal love to paternal love. During this period, maternal love should be appropriately reduced and paternal love should be appropriately increased.

William james, a famous American psychologist, famously said: "Sow an action and you will form a habit;" Sow a habit and you will gain a character; Sow a character and you will reap a fate. "Parents' words and deeds are to sow seeds for their children, and what kind of fruit to harvest depends on the seeds we sow.

Sow appreciation and gain self-confidence; Sow trust and gain self-reliance; Sow respect and reap self-love; Sow incentives and gain self-improvement.

In order to harvest successful fruits, we need high-quality sowers.

High-quality seed people should have the family education concept that adapts to the development of modern society, have good family education ability and knowledge reserve, and know the necessary educational laws and methods.

Father loves mountains and mother loves lakes.

As the saying goes: "Parents are the best teachers, the first teachers and lifelong teachers for their children."

First, successful parents must be excellent themselves.

1. The connotation and essence of success

Success is a result, the result of achieving the expected goal. For example, parents think that children are successful when they are admitted to college.

Success is a state of mind, which is unexpected and impossible, but it is based on good living, studying and working habits.

Success is a kind of transcendence, surpassing others and surpassing oneself. People who can only imitate and stand still will never make progress.

Different angles have different understandings of success.

2. Successful parental characteristics and children's development

The success of children is closely related to the quality of parents. Only parents with the characteristics of success can successfully raise their children.

Niehertz, an American scholar, once investigated 100000 children and asked them to tell their parents what they wanted, among which10 was the most influential. If you want to be a successful parent, you must do the following 10:

1. Parents should not quarrel when children are present;

2. Give every child the same love;

3 mutual humility and understanding between parents;

4. Parents should never lie to their children;

5. Maintain close relationship between parents and children;

Parents should welcome their children's friends to visit.

7. Parents should try their best to answer the questions raised by their children;

8. In front of the child's friends, parents should not say the child's fault;

9. Pay attention to observe and praise the advantages of children, and don't overemphasize the shortcomings of children;

10. Love for children should be stable and don't lose your temper easily.

The above 10 not only requires children to set an example for their parents, but also requires children to educate their parents in ways and means.

Second, successful parents should have a healthy attitude.

Whether parents' mentality is healthy or not will have a vital impact on children's psychology.

Optimism: Parents should face the difficulties and setbacks in life with a smile instead of frowning all the time.

Positive affirmation: Parents should treat things as positively as possible, instead of always taking a negative attitude.

Neither supercilious nor supercilious: neither supercilious nor supercilious in front of the strong, nor arrogant or impetuous in front of the weak. Otherwise, your child will lose his personality and learn to follow suit and watch others cook.

Studious and enterprising: It is hard for us to imagine a beautiful mahjong table. Parents who are too busy with business can make their children consciously form good study habits. Parents who know and practice serious study will tell their children with their own actions that knowledge is power.

Third, successful parents will educate their children rationally.

Parents who meet their children's requirements no matter what, or parents who lose their temper and fight with their children regardless of their feelings, can't be successful parents. Excellent parents will adopt different methods when educating their children at different times, places and occasions. They will not humiliate their children in front of others, encourage or criticize them unprincipled, blame themselves for their failures, and even less yell at them.

The example of Washington

Fourth, successful parents should be good at teaching students in accordance with their aptitude.

Mei Lanfang's example

5. Successful parents encourage their children instead of blaming them.

Encouragement and guidance are positive educational methods, which can give children motivation and help them to make clear the direction of their efforts. Criticism and accusation are negative ways of education, which will make children feel depressed and depressed.

6. Successful parents can set an example.

Teaching by example is more important than teaching by example. If parents use abusive language to stop their children from swearing, it will be very difficult for them to get rid of this bad habit.

The story of Ceng Zi killing pigs

Successful parents are good at giving love.

According to psychologists' investigation of a large number of parents, eight typical behaviors that easily lead to parents' failure are found:

First, there is no principle. Parents who have no principles will eventually be controlled by their children. Once upon a time, once a mother heard her child say "I won't go to school", she immediately surrendered and agreed to any request of her child. Mother finally fell into despair.

Second, overprotection. The more parents protect their children, the more incompetent they are. Nietzsche said that the greatest good often contains the greatest evil.

Third, nagging, preaching, wordy, screaming. Such parents are generally parents with low IQ. Because they can't say anything useful, they will only repeat some useless words.

Fourth, praise is rampant. For children over 4 years old, you can't always "fool" children with words that have no nutritional value, such as "son, you are great".

Fifth, the punishment is too heavy. I remember when I was in junior high school, my friend's mother wanted her son to be excellent, and once let her son kneel all night as punishment. As a result, my friend has been insane since then.

Sixth, deprive children of their feelings. Parents often replace their children's feelings with their own feelings and measure their children's behavior with their own values. Causes the child to lose the opportunity to feel and judge.

Seven, achievement and creativity put the cart before the horse. Most parents care about their children's grades, but they don't know that their children have more important parts to care about than grades.

Eight, ignore the fun. Optimistic nature is one of the most valuable gifts parents give their children.

Eight abilities that successful parents should possess.

1. Effective communication: the ability to communicate with children.

Communication is not for us to restrain children, but for parents to actively influence children without controlling their thinking, so that children can cooperate with you in a friendly way without pressure. Communicating with each other will automatically eliminate the generation gap, which is the most effective way to get into children's hearts and understand their books.

2. Control emotions: the ability of self-regulation.

Some parents can't help but get angry when they talk to their children because of their minor problems, and even get more and more angry when they talk about it, so that it is obviously inappropriate to tell all the children's previous "faults" as evidence of being angry with their children and take the opportunity to blame them. In order to avoid the emotional deterioration that makes them angry, thus causing harm to their children, excellent parents should learn to control their emotions, so that they will be angry when they deserve it, and never get angry when they shouldn't.

3. Learn to listen: the ability to read children's hearts

Parents should encourage their children to fully express their feelings in words, whether positive or negative. If parents don't want to listen to their children, they will undoubtedly give up a good opportunity to understand their inner world. If parents are perfunctory for a long time, they will alienate the relationship with their children, and at the same time, they will stifle their natural curiosity and thirst for knowledge and increase their psychological burden.

4. Praise and encouragement: cultivate children's self-confidence ability.

Mr. Tao Xingzhi, a great educator in China, profoundly pointed out half a century ago that the whole secret of educating children is to liberate them, and to liberate them, we must first appreciate them. There is no education without appreciation. The road of children's growth is like a runway and a battlefield. Good parents should shout "Come on", "You can do it" and "Come on" for them. Even if the child falls down a thousand times, he should firmly believe that he can stand up for the first time 10 1 time.

5. Moderate criticism: the ability to educate children

Parents must criticize and educate their children's shortcomings and mistakes, and should not turn a blind eye to them, otherwise their children's repeated mistakes will lead to big mistakes, so excellent parents must learn to take appropriate criticism. However, criticism should be moderate. Destructive criticism will directly destroy children's self-esteem, make the criticized children have a huge ideological burden, and even seriously affect their lives.

6. Reasonable care: the ability to take care of children

Karenko, an educator in the former Soviet Union, said: "Children trained without parental care are often flawed." It can be seen that the love of parents and relatives has great influence on the development of children's intelligence and other factors. However, reasonable care is not doting. If this kind of love becomes doting, it will go to the opposite side.

7. Respect children: take children's ability seriously.

In life, some parents are used to acting as spokesmen for their children and like to solve problems for their children themselves. This kind of parents think that "it is better to be a father than to know a child". In fact, this is not the work of excellent parents. Excellent parents know how to respect and treat their children well. Even when they can get information from their children, they will deliberately pretend that they don't understand and let the children speak for themselves. If the child expresses correctly, the parents will praise it, and if the expression is insufficient, it will be corrected.

8. Enlightenment education: developing children's intellectual ability.

From ancient times to now, people are most willing to accept the compliment that "Xiaofeng is clearer than Laofeng", and "children become dragons" and "women become phoenixes" are the most ardent expectations of most parents. There is nothing wrong with parents expecting their children to become talents. The problem is how to understand and how to implement education. "Tall buildings rise from the ground", the implementation of education should start from children's childhood, do a good job in enlightenment education, and develop children's intelligence from an early age.

Six Family Education Proverbs Parents Must Know

The first sentence: Good parents are learned.

There are no parents who are naturally successful, and there are no parents who don't need to learn. Successful parents are the result of continuous learning and improvement.

I have come into contact with so many excellent parents, and none of them has succeeded in teaching their children easily. An excellent mother even said: Many people think I am relaxed and say that your children are so excellent, and I don't care at all. As we all know, I even sleep with one eye open at night!

2 1 century, the information society requires more and more people's quality, and any post needs training and assessment. However, it seems that only children are born, and without education, it seems that they will automatically take up their posts and will never be laid off. In fact, this understanding is wrong.

The second sentence: Good children are taught.

I have contacted hundreds of excellent parents. What they have in common is that they have made great efforts in educating their children, just like Shen Liping, one of the top ten outstanding mothers in China. If she hadn't said it herself, people wouldn't have thought that she had put so much effort into the growth of her son Wang Jiapeng.

Some people may say that so many parents who don't know a word are also educating their children. In fact, illiteracy is not uneducated, and these parents are also experts in educating their children.

The third sentence: Good habits are cultivated.

Many parents blame their children's bad habits on the school, the teachers and the children themselves, not themselves.

In fact, most of children's habits-good habits and bad habits-are cultivated by our parents intentionally or unintentionally.

Parents are often the biggest maker of children's problems and the biggest obstacle for children to correct their mistakes and shortcomings. The urgent task is not to educate children, but to educate parents. Without the change of parents, there will be no change of children. There are no children who don't want to learn well, only children who can't learn well, no children who can't educate well, and only parents who can't educate. Therefore, scold yourself before scolding your child, and beat yourself before hitting your child. Only in this way can you completely change yourself.

The fourth sentence: good grades are all help.

The whole society should have a correct understanding of quality education and exam-oriented education. Examination-oriented education is an unavoidable problem for both schools and parents, and it needs the adaptation of both schools and parents. There is no contradiction between exam-oriented ability education and quality education, and quality education without exam-oriented ability is not real quality education.

Therefore, it has become our parents' duty to help children adapt to exam-oriented education, and the best way to help children reduce their burdens is to make our parents increase their burdens, that is, to make our parents become their children's mentors.

The fifth sentence: Good communication is all heard.

For parents whose children enter junior high school, there is a general confusion that it is difficult to communicate with their children. There are more contradictions between adolescent children and menopausal mothers, not only because they are in a period of internal psychological turmoil, but more importantly, both of them are under great external pressure. Children are under pressure to enter a higher school, and mothers are under pressure from their careers and need more communication.

Most excellent parents do well in this respect, and their good communication comes from consciously following the following three principles:

The first step is to listen, that is, let the children speak out and understand the true meaning of their words.

The second step is understanding, that is, whether it makes sense to think from the child's point of view, and the result is often reasonable.

The third step is the suggestion, which makes sense. Children may not be able to take the right action, so parents should give advice here.

Of these three steps, listening is the worst for parents.

Every child grows up with problems, and every parent grows up with problems. Children who don't have problems can't be found, and parents who don't have problems can't be found. The key is to calm down and find a way to solve the problem like those excellent parents.

The sixth sentence: Good grades are made by education.

Intelligence is not the most important thing, what is more important than intelligence is will, what is more important than will is mind, and what is more important than mind is a person's character.

In fact, these are the most important things in one's growth. When reading biographies, we are often deeply moved by the extraordinary performance of the arranger in childhood, because this achievement motivation has a great influence on a person.

The most important factors, such as will, mind and morality, are not through "explicit education" such as parents' preaching, but through parents' behavior, that is, "implicit education", which enters the child's flesh and blood and can produce results.

When children grow up, so do their parents. While educating children, I hope our parents can learn and improve themselves. Only when the whole family works together can the family become better and the children become better …