"Sincerely advise you sisters, don't get married without thinking clearly! There is no shame in getting married in your thirties, and there is no shame in not getting married. A marriage like mine is shameful! "
What makes Lulu so sad and angry? Let's listen to what she said!
"My husband and I fell in love for a year and a half and got married. 1 year later we got married. At that time, I thought my husband was very nice and sincere. Although his family background is not very good, it is good to find such a reliable person in this life.
Tell me about her husband's family: his parents divorced and her husband followed his father. His mother is very unreliable and never cares about his son. His real mother didn't show up when we got married. My husband's father got married for the second time and had a son (this situation is very stressful in Shanghai), but my husband's stepmother is very good.
She bought us a house of 60 square meters (down payment, we will pay back the loan), and the money for our marriage was also paid by our stepmother and father. His brother has not bought a house yet.
But the nightmare is over. We got married last June. After the wedding, I was responsible for the expenses at home, and my husband paid his salary every month. We had a good time. As a result, in the month of 10, I accidentally found that he had an unexpected expenditure on Alipay, which further involved a big secret: my husband's credit card plus all online loan liabilities was 367,000!
For an ordinary family like us, it's a bolt from the blue! At that time, all our money added up to hundreds of thousands.
After the story was revealed, his father beat him, scolded him, apologized to me and so on. I really want a divorce. I don't mind that he has a loan. The house loan is 800 thousand. I knew before marriage that I chose to bear it with him.
But the 367,000 he spent before marriage was not spent by me, and even most of it was spent by him and his ex-girlfriend. His past consumption in advance has brought a key blow to our present life.
I want a divorce, but my parents don't agree. They think divorce is ugly and worry that I can't find a good family for my second marriage. I don't blame my parents. People their age really think so.
Later, his stepmother gave 65,438+10,000 yuan (they really had no money, stepmother's father had cancer and needed chemotherapy, and his brother didn't have a house yet), and we paid more than 200,000 yuan first.
The epidemic in these two months has made our family worse. My husband hasn't been paid a penny for two months in a row, and he lives on my salary every month (I am a teacher, and my salary is about 1 1 10,000), but my salary is not enough for my monthly debts and loans.
We don't have much money left now, and we won't have any money this month (my parents have been giving me money and giving my husband pocket money for the past two months after they found out).
I'm really devastated. Recently, I quarreled with my husband, and both of them have the impulse to divorce. But how to divorce? I let him go clean? It was he who cheated on his marriage and hid his debts from me before marriage. But a marriage trapped us in the same bottomless pit.
Now we have zero deposits and bottomless debts. "
"Men are afraid of entering the wrong line, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong person." This is really a famous saying through the ages.
For Lulu, in my impression, she is gentle and careful. If she hadn't met her husband's shameless "cheating marriage", she wouldn't talk like this, and she wouldn't be so angry.
One thing, although I don't live in Shanghai, I also know the high consumption and ridiculously expensive housing prices there. Lulu and her husband are just ordinary people, and they have a mortgage to pay, but they owe hundreds of thousands of credits for no reason. If I were you, I would feel broken.
She is not only extremely disappointed with her husband, but also despaired of her marriage.
However, although all the mistakes are her husband's, I think Lulu should try to move on, whether he deliberately hides them before marriage or he cheated.
Because from Lulu's statement, I can see that her relationship with her husband is true. It is only because the husband concealed the online loan that the contradiction escalated. After the conflict, her husband lost his income because of the epidemic, which made Lulu even more bored.
But calm down and think about it, except for online loans, my husband has no fault. The contradiction between this is also caused by Lulu's imbalance.
Marriage is not a simple process of playing house. Stay together, stay together, and break up if you disagree. The essence of marriage is not only sharing weal and woe, but also sharing weal and woe. When Lulu decided to marry her husband, it must be the sparkle in her husband that attracted Lulu, and this is also the beginning of marriage.
So since we started, how can we give up easily, especially because of money?
In my opinion, Lulu should calm down and think carefully about what her sadness is in this marriage. If it is only because of the arrears of online loans, there will be no divorce. After all, some mistakes can be forgiven and some are unforgivable, and this mistake of my husband belongs to the former.
Although "but not as people who have been poor together know", the feelings of going through the storm together are the strongest and the longest.
I believe that if Lulu and her husband carry it together, then her husband will be grateful to Lulu in this life, not only for the opportunity and understanding she gave, but also for this marriage and this relationship.
The ancients said that "the prodigal son never changes his money", which is why he thought about giving up and escaping. This is a coward's behavior, and it may not be your husband who suffers the most, but yourself.