Modesty

The word "Qian" is composed of "Yan" and "concurrently" in Xiao Zhuan. Words are heartfelt, words are not complacent, and they are enough to see the reality of respect and concession, so they are modest. "Concurrent" means the combination of the two. Those who respect others and retreat modestly will meet each other and see each other again, so "Modesty" comes from the same voice. Modesty also means: high mountain, buried underground. Refers to a person with a broad mind and a huge capacity. Even if he has a barrier in his mind, he still doesn't show mountains and rivers.

Modesty is a courtesy

"Modesty" originally comes from "A gentleman takes modesty as a courtesy" in Historical Records Le Shu, which means respect. In the Book of Classics, "full of losses, modest benefits" is an old saying in China tradition, which means that modest people will benefit, while complacent people will suffer. Laozi said: "Only those who are not self-righteous can judge things clearly;" He who does not boast will be affirmed for his contribution; Only those who are not proud can achieve great things. " Modesty and pride are the dividing lines between good fortune and bad fortune. A person with noble character and open mind is more bright in morality, so modesty is a virtue that a gentleman always maintains. Modesty and humility have always been the traditional virtues of our Chinese nation, and they are indispensable qualities for the ancient gentlemen in China to cultivate their morality and settle down.

During the Spring and Autumn Period, Confucius visited a temple in Lu Huangong and saw a container that was tilted and difficult to lay flat. He asked the temple keeper what it was, and the temple keeper said, "This is probably an instrument that Renjun put on the right side of the seat." Confucius said: "I have heard that this kind of appliance tilts when it is empty, stands when it is filled with half water, and falls over when it is full." Confucius asked his disciples to scoop water and pour it into the container, and it really happened.

Confucius sighed with a heavy sigh: "Alas! How can it be full and not overturned? " Zilu asked, "Is there any way to maintain a prosperous position, just like keeping water full without tipping over?" Confucius said: "Be smart and wise, and keep timid;": The credit exceeds all the people in the world, and we must keep a modest appearance. " Zilu asked Confucius again, "Why do villains always think they are great?" Confucius said: "when the Yangtze river water just flowed out of Wenshan, even a cup could not float;" When you arrive at the Yangtze River Ferry, ships can sail side by side. " Zilu asked, "What does this mean?" Confucius said: "The Yangtze River is a long-standing river. Its water potential was not great at first, but later it became a big river because it gradually accepted many currents. A cautious man will not be grandiose, and a cautious man will not take the credit for himself. A gentleman is both wise and benevolent, and can be respectful, generous and faithful to others. The villain does not emphasize morality, but he is inconsistent and thinks he is great. "

Later, Zi Gong asked Confucius, "I want to be humble to others, but I don't know how to do it." Confucius said, "Are you modest to others? If you dig deep like the land, you will get the sweet spring. If you plant, you can have a lush grain; Vegetation breeds, and birds and wild animals breed here. Land contributes a lot, but it doesn't think it has virtue. Being humble to people should be like land. "

Self-humility and respect for the people

Cao Bin, the founding hero of the Northern Song Dynasty, was humble despite his outstanding achievements, and never boasted of his contributions, which was highly respected by people.

in the second year of jianlong in the northern song dynasty, Cao Bin joined Liu Guangyi in the crusade against houshu as the governor. After the chaos in the post-Shu Dynasty was put down, most of the generals in Song Jun returned with beautiful women, while Cao Bin came back with only his own books and clothes. Song Taizu saw that he had made a great contribution, so he was promoted to be the ambassador of Xuanhui South Hospital and the ambassador of Yicheng, and Cao Bin repeatedly refused. Song Taizu said, "You have made great achievements, but you don't boast about yourself. Punishing evil and persuading good is a common thing in the country, so don't shirk it. "

Cao Bin never took credit when he was a teacher in the Southern Tang Dynasty. During the siege of Jinling (present-day Nanjing), Cao Bin pretended to be ill for fear that the soldiers would harm the people, and asked the soldiers to burn incense and swear that they would not kill anyone during the siege. After the siege of Song Jun, it was welcomed by the people in the city. Cao Bin kindly comforted Li Houzhu and his ministers in the Southern Tang Dynasty, and treated them with courtesy. Cao Bin's squad leader did not write a letter to show his merits, but only wrote: "I am in charge of Jiangnan's official return." It means that what the emperor told me to do in Jiangnan has been completed.

before starting his career, the emperor said that if Cao Bin could pacify Nantang, he would appoint Cao Bin as prime minister. Therefore, Pan Renmei, the assistant commander, congratulated him in advance, but Cao Bin said with a faint smile, "No, I just performed my duty, and it all depended on Tianwei. I only succeeded by following the imperial court's plan for the war. What credit do I have? Not to mention the prime minister's best official position. "

Although Cao Bin holds a high position, his family has no surplus wealth, and his salary is mostly distributed to his relatives. In the History of Song Dynasty, he said: "When you cut two countries (post-Shu and southern Tang), you got nothing in autumn. You will be in the same position, and you will not be different from others. " He never disobeyed the emperor's will in the court, and never talked about other people's faults. Even if Cao Bin meets a scholar-bureaucrat's car on the road, he should let his horses and chariots get out of the way. He never calls his officials by their first names to show his respect for them. Whenever something is told, he has to dress up and wear a crown before receiving it. For his subordinates, he always pushes himself and others, and is generous.

When Cao Bin was an official in Xuzhou, one of the officials committed a crime and should be punished with the rod. However, it took a year for Cao Bin to punish him with the rod. People don't know why. Cao Bin said, "I heard that this man is newly married. If he is punished immediately, his parents will think that his daughter-in-law is unlucky, so they will whip and scold her, making it difficult for him to save himself. I delayed the punishment of the official with the staff, and it didn't hinder the law. "

Cao Bin has both talent and morality, and he is a gentleman of "humility and humility" and "forgiveness and generosity". After Cao Bin's death, Song Zhenzong cried very sadly. Every time he talked with ministers about Cao Bin, he cried bitterly. After that, he posthumously awarded Cao Bin as the secretariat, made him king of Jiyang County, and joined the Prime Minister Zhao Pu in the ancestral temple. Later generations revered Cao Bin as a generation of generals.

There is a saying in The Book of Rites that "a gentleman does not flatter himself, nor does he reward himself for his merits, in order to be sympathetic". It means that a gentleman does not exaggerate his own deeds or show off his own merits in order to conform to the truth. Moreover, it is necessary to "show the goodness of others and the merits of beauty in order to be a sage", that is, to show the goodness of others and praise the merits of others in order to treat the sages humbly. "Therefore, although the gentleman feels inferior, the people respect him." Therefore, although the gentleman is humble, the people respect him.

Pride begets trouble

Maybe some people are easy to be humble in front of things outside their bodies. It is often difficult to be humble when facing one's own achievements and contributions. "Caigen Tan" says: "The contribution of the world is not a pity." Once you lose your humility, no matter how great your contribution is, it will lose its luster in arrogance. Deviate from the modest intention, be complacent and arrogant, and then success will come without reason. This is the same as the water in the cup is full and you want to add it, but you can't.

Guan Yu was brave and invincible. He became famous by beating Hua Xiong in World War I with warm wine, then beheaded Yan Liang and killed Wen Chou, passed five customs and killed six generals, and went to the meeting alone, flooding seven armies, ranking first among the five tiger generals. Even Cao Cao tried to move the capital to avoid its edge. Because of his pride, he was tricked by Lv Meng, and his father and son were killed.

such historical lessons are too numerous to mention. Ji Xiaolan, a great scholar in Qianlong period of Qing Dynasty, told such a story.

The story goes like this. There was a fellow villager in Ji Xiaolan named Ding Yishi. This man is strong and agile, with great strength, and he practices martial arts and lightness skill. He can jump up at a height of two or three feet, and jump over at a width of two or three feet.

Ji Xiaolan saw his kung fu in person when he was a child. Ji Xiaolan stood in a hall, facing the front door, and Ding Yishi stood outside the front door, facing Ji Xiaolan. When Ji Xiaolan turned to face the back door, Ding Yishi was already standing outside the back door, or face to face with him, so seven or eight times. Because Ding Yishi can jump over the roof with one jump. This shows that this person is good at kung fu.

Later, Ding Yishi passed by Dulin Town and met a friend who invited him to have a drink in the hotel by the bridge. When they were standing on the bank of the river and enjoying their drinks, the friend said to Ding Yishi, "Can you skip here?" Taking his word, Ding Yishi has already jumped over. A friend called him back. As soon as he finished, he jumped back, but as soon as his foot touched the ground, he didn't expect the river bank to collapse. A crack opened near the steep river, but Ding Yishi didn't see it. As a result, the river bank collapsed more than two feet, and Ding Yishi fell into the water and was washed away along the current.

Ding Yishi never knew how to swim. He could jump several feet from the water, but he could only jump straight up and down, but he couldn't jump to the shore. He jumped four or five times like this, and eventually he was drowned because he had no strength.

Ji Xiaolan sighed for this: Probably there is nothing worse than having nothing to fear. Those who rely on money will eventually lose with money, those who rely on power will eventually lose with potential, those who rely on wisdom will eventually lose with wisdom, and those who rely on strength will eventually lose with strength. This is because people who rely on it dare to take risks.

Therefore, in China's morality, "modesty" or "modesty" and "modesty" are highly respected. Laozi's "Tao is obscure" all his life, and he praised the virtue of water because it is beneficial to everything, but it does not strive for merit, always flows downwards and maintains a humble posture.

If people don't know modesty, they won't ask for advice modestly. As the saying goes, "the feet are short, the inches are long". Although a person may be outstanding in one respect, he will not be outstanding in every respect.

There was once a joke: A man said that he and the champion of Go and the champion of Chess had won each other. Because he plays chess with the chess champion, and he plays chess with the chess champion.

Being born in the world, we often rush about for fame and fortune. If we have strong points, we will use them as a means to seek fame and gain, and display them everywhere, which is also a departure from modesty.

Therefore, the ancients repeatedly warned us to be modest and prudent, and not to be complacent. It is recorded in The Book of History, Da Yu Mo, that Bo Yi praised Yu's pledge to attack Youmiao and said, "Morality can influence all the people, and you can enjoy its benefits wherever you are far away. Complacency will lead to failure, and modesty will benefit people and increase virtue. " "Letters to Zhong Zhong, the Book of History" records that when Shang Tang was in the summer, Zhong Zhong warned Tang Wang: "If morality tends to be perfect day by day, then all vassal States will submit to you; If you are complacent, even the closest people will leave you. " Both Dayu and Shang Tang are virtuous people, but they are still always afraid of complacency and loss, and constantly warn themselves in their behavior. There is a saying in Yan Family Instructions: "Modesty can avoid harm." When the moon reaches the circle, it will gradually move towards the defect; If the utensils are too full, they will overflow, and the extremes will be reversed. Therefore, a man should always keep the golden mean!

when Liu jingxuan of Jin dynasty was the secretariat of Jizhou, some people wanted to seek wealth with him. Liu jingxuan responded: "I often fear that too much good fortune will lead to disaster, and I always think about how to avoid being rich and being in a shortage." It can be seen that Liu Jingxuan knows the truth of "full of losses and modest benefits". If people can be as reasonable as he is, it is not difficult to settle down.

A humble person will eventually win

"Full of losses, modest benefits" is not only the advice of the sages to future generations, but also the wisdom of dealing with people in ancient and modern times. However, due to the impact of various competitive consciousness, this modest and humble attitude towards life has gradually been forgotten by the world. Even some people think that modesty is out of date, and they often complain about the difficulties in interpersonal relationships. All kinds of contradictions and disputes make everyone feel stressed and agitated. The reason for the tense interpersonal relationship today is that the original humility and comity between people has been replaced by the struggle for interests. Let's think about it carefully. When everyone abandons the human virtue of courtesy, is this life peaceful? Happy?

A letter from Zhang Ying, a famous minister in the Qing Dynasty, tells us the answer again: "A thousand miles of books are just a wall, so why not let him be three feet?" The Great Wall of Wan Li is still there today, and I don't see Qin Shihuang. " This is a letter from Zhang Ying to her family to humble her neighbors. After reading it, the family understood what it meant and offered to give up the three-foot open space next to the house. When the neighbor saw it, he was deeply moved and gave up three feet, thus forming a six-foot alley that was more convenient for passers-by. It turned out that the two families were arguing endlessly about this. Zhang Ying's generosity and humility not only resolved the dispute, but also his humility was widely admired by the present and future generations, leaving a beautiful talk through the ages. This is the truth that "the humble will eventually win luck." In the face of property, reputation and status, should we use the short decades of life for disputes that hurt both body and mind, or should we use our humility between people to let the disputants rest, the angry ones settle, and the complaining ones solve, paving a "six-foot lane" leading to harmony, warmth and kindness?

in fact, the achievement of anything is the result of the joint efforts of all people, but each person plays a different role. During the Spring and Autumn Period, Jie Zhitui, a sage of Jin State, followed Zhong Er in exile despite difficulties and hardships during the war, and once offered Zhong Er a share of soup. After Zhong Er became a monarch, Jie Zhitui did not seek fame and fortune by his past achievements. The wise words he left behind were: "Stealing people's wealth is still called stealing. I am greedy for the merits of heaven, thinking that I am capable? " This unsparing sage allows our future generations to keep a clear head in the face of credit, always mention modesty, never forget the support and help from parents, teachers, wives, children and colleagues, and be grateful for their achievements in time, place and people. If people can make contributions to the public and be humble, they can gather more help. This is the reason that "Heaven loses money and benefits modesty".

a humble person will not show himself; A humble person will not be complacent. Because a humble man's waist is always bent, he can accept criticism and suggestions from others, so his talents and virtues will continue to grow.

the benefits of modesty are numerous. The ancients discovered this natural principle a long time ago: "The sun is shining, and the moon is full of food", "Heaven loses money and benefits modesty, the tunnel becomes surplus and flows modesty, ghosts and gods harm surplus and benefits modesty, and humanity is evil and benefits modesty". It is the right way to be a man who should imitate nature and be humble.

Humility has been a virtue since ancient times, and we should carry forward this virtue. "modest hexagrams and six hexagrams are all auspicious." May warm modesty shine from our hearts, may gentle modesty come from our mouths, and may modesty of self-denial and respect for others be made in our daily life, so that a harmonious interpersonal relationship, a stable and happy state of mind and a down-to-earth and happy life will come to us.