There is a Chinese proverb, "You must not have the intention to harm others, and you must have the intention to guard against others." Many people think that there is a profound philosophy of life in this, and regard it as the standard of life philosophy. If you look at it from the perspective of pursuing foolproof self-security, this sentence is not wrong. Because in the process of social survival, people will inevitably have contradictions and conflicts with the people around them. When predicting the impact of conflicts on themselves, they must consider whether the other party with whom they have conflicts will take some actions that endanger their own interests. Even irrational violence or vicious behavior in order to prepare yourself for danger or nip it in the bud. For adults, this is not difficult to grasp. It may have certain positive significance for adults to better adapt to society and make fewer mistakes. However, from the perspective of establishing and forming a good sense of security, this sentence contains unspeakable harm. In children and adolescents, if parents or teachers use this sentence as a warning to children and adolescents to beware of harm from others, it will definitely do more harm than good. Because, at this ignorant age of childhood and adolescence, it is indispensable to let him learn to do harm to others. He will probably do a good job, and even reach the level of perfection. Although everyone does not want their children to become such a somewhat "ignorant" fool, they more or less accept this kind of education because there are no consequences for their own safety. However, if you let him learn to be on guard against others, it will be difficult for him to grasp this measure. The most likely result is to classify the people around him into different grades based on his parents' attitudes or kinship relationships. Or the distance of the kinship relationship can be used to infer who should be guarded against. Therefore, children and teenagers who interact with others according to this admonition will always maintain a state of alert during the process of contact with strangers, tightening their guard against others, or in a certain degree of anxiety. . In this case, if there are some suspicious phenomena in the words and deeds of strangers, or there are some phenomena that they have never seen before, these children and teenagers who lack social experience will inevitably uneasily speculate on the malicious elements of these strangers' words and deeds. From the standpoint of ensuring one's own maximum safety, it is easy to conclude that a stranger's words and deeds are unfavorable to oneself, and then to guess that the other person is a bad person with malicious intentions. On this basis, sensitive individuals can only choose to escape, retreat, and take precautions to ensure that their own safety is not threatened, and they are unlikely to believe that the other party is not malicious, or to continue to understand what will happen next. Even if these already nervous children and teenagers are willing to continue to learn about strangers' intentions, in this state they will only pay attention to information that reinforces their worries or makes them believe that their safety is threatened. Such selective cognitive activities will further strengthen their experience of insecurity, ultimately making them less and less afraid to trust others in interpersonal interactions, making it increasingly difficult to gain the trust and friendship of others, and thus make it difficult to establish Good sense of security. It is worth pointing out that parents who actually teach their children and teenagers that "you must not have the intention of harming others and you must have the intention of guarding against others" really want to convey the essence is not "you must not have the intention of harming others" but "you must guard against others." The heart is indispensable." Children and teenagers may repeat complete sentences verbally, but only the creed "Beware of others is essential" is the golden rule that is deeply rooted in people's hearts and guides their interactions with others.