Children’s education is an issue that parents cannot ignore. There must be correct methods to educate children. Before educating children, let’s take a look at some educational maxims. The following are the things I share with you about educating children. I hope it can help you!
Aphorisms for educating children
1. Academic performance is the tip of the iceberg of human growth, and underneath the iceberg is a person’s character and body. Character and body are the two fulcrums of academic performance.
2. Strictly manage children around the age of 3 and be their children’s parents; gradually let go around the age of 13 and be their children’s friends. Effective education is strict first and then loose. Ineffective education is first loose and then strict. Effective motivation is from 5 to 9, and ineffective motivation is from 9 to 5.
3. Children need companions to grow. Only children can understand children, and only children’s companions can accompany children to grow. Children never expect behemoth adults to understand them, and children never regard condescending adults as their friends. Parents can be an only child, but they cannot let their children grow up alone. If there are neither siblings nor partners, the "only child" will fall into double loneliness: not only the only child, but also the only one to grow up.
4. Mencius’s mother moved three times, and Rousseau took Emile to the countryside. Before the child has developed mature rationality and judgment, do not allow the child to have too many partners, and be wary of the child getting into the bad habits of his peers.
5. No matter how successful the parents are, if the children’s education fails, the whole life will fail.
6. Good parents watch over their children and allow them to grow up proactively; bad parents do things for their children and allow their children to grow up passively.
7. A good mother treats her son as a friend, and a bad mother treats her son as a lover.
8. There are two most difficult things for human beings: one is how to rule others; the other is how to educate others. (Kant)
9. If you want to be healthy, you must be hungry and cold. It is forbidden to eat snacks before meals so that children can feel hungry enough. Wretched is the man who cannot drink the nectar from a crude barrel. Let children eat as little candy, chocolate and other sweets as possible. Children who eat sweets without restraint will be in bad health and their character will not be much better. There is no need to let your children wear heavy clothes. Children are not as afraid of the cold as adults.
10. Shout for peace with your mouth, but have a big stick in your hand. Successful family education always allows the child to have one or several favorite and most awe-inspiring people around him.
Suggestions for educating children
1. Give children the right to choose within a certain range
As the child grows, give him more and more freedom and freedom. Having control over your own life is important. You must consciously ask yourself; even restrain yourself from the idea of ????doing everything for your children to give your children some freedom. Giving children a certain amount of freedom shows that we trust and respect our children, and they will respect and love us more.
Give children the right to choose within a certain range. By providing choices, you can avoid tension and provide children with practical opportunities to make decisions. For example: It’s bedtime, do you want to listen to yesterday’s story, or do you want to hear a new story? Do you want to wear a pink top or a blue T-shirt today? (If the child does not choose either, parents can Question: ?Should I help you choose, or should you choose yourself?) Making choices and holding children responsible are everyday behaviors that are crucial to developing children's self-worth.
2. Games are children’s main activity, and children learn through games
Children learn through contact with specific, simulated things related to life, and need to interact with peers, adults and the environment. Communication and games help children relax and develop a focused work attitude. Special practice of symbols such as letters, numbers, etc. should not be started too early before the age of 5. This will limit the child's thinking, because the young child's mind is not yet mature and cannot understand abstract concepts.
3. Tell children positively what they should do, rather than what they shouldn’t do
The condescending attitude of traditional educators always says to children: No hitting, no Eating on the sofa? Wait, this negative tone will only draw attention and focus on the negative behavior; and the child still does not know what good behavior is and what he should do.
A positive way of saying it is to use virtue to modify the child's behavior, such as: "You forgot to live in peace with others?" or "We eat at the table!"
Fourth, take time to spend time alone with your children every day, ***Do something that interests both parties
Every child needs enough attention from his parents. After work every day, we should spare some time to participate in children's games. Provide children with a variety of experiences and expose them to as many things as possible. As their children's listeners, supporters, and spiritual companions, parents should respect their children's feelings when their children encounter setbacks, and stay with their children with a detached and sympathetic attitude.
Things to note when educating children
Be accompanied. Accompanying children physically and spiritually is the best way to educate children. Children's lives are completely different with or without the company of their parents. Parents and children read, write, and live together and establish the same language, the same passwords, the same values, and the same desires. This kind of companionship is a process of mutual influence, a process for parents to learn from their children, and an opportunity for parents to establish lifelong connections with their children.
Be positive. We should pay attention to cultivating children's positive attitude towards life. On the one hand, we should encourage them first, and on the other hand, we should let children learn to accept themselves. Even if the child is not as good as others in some aspects, parents must accept and encourage the child. The growth space of a child is unimaginable. To the extent you believe in him, he will be able to perform brilliantly. To a certain extent, parents’ expectations and encouragement shape their children’s future.
We must set an example. The power of role models is infinite. Every child has the shadow of his or her parents. When parents complain about their children, they are actually complaining about themselves, because their children have grown up under your education method and their time with you is much longer than theirs. Time in school with teachers.
Don’t be extreme. Avoid the two extremes of hands-off and overdoing. Many fathers work hard to make money for the family and leave their children to their mothers; many mothers are also professionals and leave their children to their grandparents. Too much control means not leaving the space and time your children need to grow. Children enter cram schools right after school and various extracurricular classes on weekends. There is no possibility of independent development at all. Children must have their own time and learn to make their own plans. Only when they grow up will they be able to arrange their own lives.
Don’t compare. It is difficult for parents not to compare their children with themselves. I once said to my son, if only you were half as diligent as your father. In fact, my child is very smart, but I always feel that he is not diligent enough. But those born in the 1980s are different from us. They have their own standards for life values. It's unrealistic to ask him to use my standards, and it's also wrong to constantly stimulate him with my goals.
Don’t be authoritarian. Parents are not smarter than their children. I have crossed more bridges than you have walked. This statement has lost its credibility. The experience of parents is not that every child has his or her own path.
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