I also know a mother who gave up an enviable high-paying job and became a full-time mother in order to let her children spend more time with themselves. Running with high load every day, even if you are tired to get down, you are always gentle and patient with your children.
There are many mothers who refuse to get together with friends and give up their dream trips for their children. My favorite bag in the shopping cart is lying down, but I just don't have the courage to submit an order. ?
Ask:
What are you doing after work? Stay with the children.
What are you going to do at the weekend? Stay with the children. ?
What are you going to do on National Day? Stay with the children.
Is the mother above a good mother? From selfless dedication to only son, they must be?
But the first mother, because she only cares about going to work, has little time to accompany her children. Children spend most of their time in the custody class, their grades are getting worse and worse, and their personality is becoming more and more withdrawn. She cried and said, I'm not a good mother. I didn't give my children enough company.
The second mother, who gave everything to her children, was indifferent and impatient to herself, her husband and the rest of the family, which led to constant quarrels at home. She cried and said, I am not a good mother. I failed to give my children a warm home.
Mothers who give up many things for their children will also say, I can't cook well, I can't teach my children English, and I can't let my children go to top schools. Children could have been better, just because I didn't do enough. I am not a good mother.
Since a woman gave birth to a baby, 80% of her life has been given to her child. Even if you pay more, you still feel that it is not enough. That's not enough. I evaluate myself, so I give myself a failing grade.
My son is 2 years old. In the past two years, I often feel that I am not a good mother.
During lactation, I didn't have enough milk and he didn't have enough to eat. I'm ashamed of him. When I was a child, I felt that he didn't know anything, rarely interacted with him, and missed many wonderful parent-child times. A little older, his timidity, light weight and fear of socializing, I think it's all my responsibility.
I always thought it would be nice to know more about parenting. If I work harder and have stronger ability, my son will definitely be better than now.
But such a poor mother is her son's favorite.
There are so many people in the family that they always like to be hugged by their mothers. If his mother takes him out to play, he will give up all temptations and be as happy as a bird. When his mother was too busy to pay attention to him, he grabbed the skirts and snuggled up to him quietly for a long time. When sleeping, he wants his mother's face to face with him, and he wants to have his mother completely, even his eyes. Many times, he put two fleshy little hands on his mother's face, consciously, as if he couldn't help kissing you a few times.
No matter what a mess, as long as you are his mother, you are the best mother in the world. Even if you go out early and come back late, as long as you can meet, your child will be happy. You can't have too many children, even if you are at home full-time. Even if you have a lower evaluation of yourself and are no longer satisfied with yourself, you are the irreplaceable best in the world in the eyes of children.
With a mother, children really have a home and a root in life.
My mother is an out-and-out farmer, with a low education and a prominent position. She has been wandering in a remote village with her back to the loess all her life. She is so small and ordinary, but she is still the best mother in my mind.
Although I occasionally envy my mother who opened a canteen when I was a child, I fantasize that I can eat snacks every day. I also envied my mother who planted apple trees, thinking about eating big apples every day and picking big and red ones. I also envy my mother who is a teacher. I feel so powerful that I no longer have to worry about being bullied by my classmates.
But it was all for a little greed and a moment's thought. After that, I just want to go home quickly and see what my mother has cooked for me. No matter where you are, mom's figure and smiling face in the crowd are always so beautiful and reassuring.
For a good woman, society may have many criteria to judge:
Good-looking, slim, financially independent, filial to the elderly, good at cooking and housework. ...
But for the role of mother, I think only children and mothers are qualified to judge.
I believe every mother wants to be a good mother from the moment she is pregnant with a child, but in fact she is also a really good mother.
No one deliberately "runs amok" when they could have done better, saying that I just want to do worse. Therefore, your present state must be your best effort. Stop clinging to yourself and learn to reconcile with yourself. You are already a good mother. ?
We just feel that we are not good mothers because we habitually compare what other mothers can do with what we can't do.
If there is a curse in the circle of children that is "other people's children", then there is also a curse in the circle of mothers that is "other people's mothers". As long as you wear this spell, you will never be happy. Unhappy mothers are naturally not good mothers.
A mother can give anything a child wants. That's Superman's mother. It doesn't exist in reality. A real mother must have many things she can't do, and there are many things she can't do. This is a human defect, not a mother's fault.
There is a famous saying that the most regrettable thing in the world is that you could have.
In my opinion, maybe this "could have been" was beyond your power at that time, otherwise why not?
Some people say: if you work harder and stick to it, you can do it.
? But in fact, since I didn't do it, I may not have realized the significance of my efforts at that time, or I may not be able to persist. In short, it was the decision at that time. It is meaningless to evaluate previous decisions with later thinking, because time can't go back.
So, I forgave myself as a mother. Many things in the past were not perfect, but I really tried my best. What I want to pay attention to is not how many regrets I have in the past, but trying not to say "I could have" in the future. Or I really can't do it, just give up. Or I will do it, anyway.
People say that maternal love is the most selfless love, which is wrong.
Children's love for their mothers is the most selfless, even a little blind. A child's love for his mother is the most unconditional love. ?
In the mother's world, there are not only children, but also fathers. They have jobs, housework and friends ... In the child's world, there is only mother.
Several times, I accidentally dropped my son, and his face was covered with blood, but the first thing he did was to let me hug him. Several times, I made him do something that made him cry. Instead of running to his father to cry, he insisted on getting into my arms, as if he had completely forgotten that I made him cry. Is the child's forgetfulness so aunt? If you are an adult, you will hate it.
I think, children live by instinct, instinct guides them, and mother's arms are the safest and warmest place.
What will children say about their mothers when they grow up? Will you still love unconditionally as you did when you were a child? It is likely to change. There is no longer only a mother in the world of being a child, but also a lover, family and friends. If you want to give love to so many people, your mother will naturally get less. ?
I often wonder what I hope my son will say about my mother when he grows up. Later, I felt that I had done these three things in order to be worthy of my mother's identity:
1。 Cooking smells like mom.
Food has memories, and the taste of mother is the taste of home.
2。 Companionship, permanent sense of security.
When children are young, the company of mothers is more precious than diamonds.
3。 Motivation, the role model around you.
Teach yourself first. I want to be an idol in front of my children and inspire them to pursue what they want bravely.
Therefore, there is no uniform standard for a good mother in the world. Every mother is destined to be the best mother in children's eyes from the moment she has the courage to give birth to a child.