Text/Che Lizi

I picked up a book by chance, "Cai Lam Talks about Ni Kuang" written by Cai Lam, which is very interesting.

At that time, Mr. Ni Kuang retired to San Francisco, the United States. Whenever Cai Lam traveled to the United States on business, he would go to visit him. Mr. Cai Lam has almost become half of Ni Kuang's agent. Whenever a publishing house or TV station approaches Ni Kuang, they always contact Cai Lam first, so there are a lot of overseas phone calls.

The two old men ate, drank, chatted, and wrote manuscripts. Over time, they accumulated into this book, which looks interesting.

Different from other people’s biographies of Ni Kuang, when Mr. Cai Lam talked about Ni Kuang, everything he saw and heard with his own eyes and ears was recorded truthfully, and even the conversations were recorded verbatim. Add salt, vinegar, and imagination. Even Ni Kuang's resume is in the form of an interview, with one question and one answer, and the questions are recorded truthfully without any secondary processing.

This way of writing is just like reading a diary or audio transcript. There is no ostentatious element in writing, but it allows readers to directly feel the true temperament of Mr. Ni and the extraordinary friendship between the two elders.

Mr. Cai also read several books such as "The Biography of Ni Kuang" and felt that the writing was not realistic enough. Although he did not intend to use "Cai Lam on Ni Kuang" as a biography, it still recorded Ni Kuang truthfully. Every detail of my life during the 13 years since I retired to San Francisco.

People always ask Mr. Cai, are these words, these things that have happened, and what he has said true?

Mr. Cai used a famous saying of Mr. Ni to answer: "There is nothing real or fake, only good-looking or bad-looking."

Let me say, good-looking! The greatest charm of good looking comes from Mr. Ni's open-mindedness and true temperament that are beyond ordinary people. He is not only a science fiction novelist, but also an expert who is able to navigate the mundane world with ease. His true temperament, attitude towards life and purpose are far beyond what we ordinary people can achieve, and there are many aspects that we cannot imagine.

1 So you are such a madman

Mr. Ni has many talents and hobbies throughout his life, and he enjoys many things: carpentry, goldfish, flowers and plants, shells, mistresses, acting, etc. You have to work hard until you become an expert.

But once you decide not to play, you will never look back. You will not keep any of the things you collected when playing with things, simply and neatly, without worries.

When Mr. Ni was raising fish, he called himself the "Nine-tank layman" and even carved a seal. But he has raised not only nine tanks of fish, but more than ten or twenty tanks. Each jar is big enough for a person to lie inside. Even luxurious enough to have a fish tank dedicated to growing aquatic plants.

No expense is spared in raising fish, and the earthworms used to feed the fish are more expensive than steak. I was afraid that the fish would get homesick, so I specially added water from the Amazon River to the angelfish from the Amazon River. There are piles of Chinese and English books on fish farming on the bookshelves. When I encounter a problem that cannot be solved in a book, I wish I could throw away the book and write one myself.

Even piranhas have kept a large tank. If they throw a frog into it, the tank will be filled with blood and they will eat all the food.

When he was playing with shells, he wrote many papers and sent them to the International Shell Society, which was praised by foreign experts. I have collected many rare varieties, four or five of which can be sold for hundreds of thousands. Later, I stopped playing. I gave it away if I wanted to. If I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it at all. We would never be disconnected.

When collecting stamps, I won’t regret it even if I get and lose a stamp worth more than 400,000 pounds. "If it's not yours, it's not yours. What do you regret?"

"In just a few decades, you have to do what you like to do!"

Mr. Ni has been practicing this all his life. Follow this creed, do what you like to do, be thorough, and reach the highest peak you can reach. Once you decide not to do it, don’t hold back any regrets. Because life is short and there are still many things I like to do, so how can I have time to miss you?

It’s still what Mr. Ni said: “As a human being, it’s easy to do what you don’t like. It’s really difficult to do what you like.”

In fact, the ultimate success in life is Isn’t it just about doing what you want to do and becoming who you want to be?

2 So you are such an old friend

Rumor has it that my friend Gu Long died of drinking. Many people asked him if the situation was true. Mr. Ni never answered directly, but Gu Long loved drinking, that was for sure.

Mr. Ni often drank cologne and brandy all night long until he went to the hospital for an intravenous drip the next day. After his death, he bought 48 bottles of brandy, stuffed them into the coffin, and buried Gu Long with him.

Before the coffin was closed, a group of bereaved friends said that Gu Long would be lonely when he drank alone. As a result, they opened the bottle, drank it, and buried it with dozens of empty bottles. Gu Long was so angry that he vomited blood. .

There is no conclusion yet on whether the part about vomiting blood is true or false. It is only known that Ni Kuang blurted it out to amuse Zheng Yuling, Li Qihong and Zhong Liti. The three beauties were speechless after hearing this, which shows that the effect is outstanding, and it also shows that Mr. Ni is an extraordinary master of seducing girls (he will be mentioned specifically in the following article).

Regarding the death of Gu Long, Mr. Ni has written many phantom-like stories in his collection of essays, including this funeral that he estimated that Gu Long "would like". If you are interested, you can find it and read it.

In his obituary for Gu Long, Mr. Ni pointed out that Gu Long is "a synthesis of all the colorful heroes in his works", "loves friends, is addicted to alcohol, is obsessed with beautiful women, and longs for happiness", "He is a great master of Chinese martial arts novels."

But in front of the body of a "great master" who was addicted to alcohol, how to drink the funeral wine?

3 It turns out you are such an actor

Just like Stan Lee likes to make cameos in Marvel superhero movies, Mr. Ni also made guest appearances in his own original works. However, Mr. Ni acted under Mr. Cai's "instigation".

He has written more than 200 scripts, but he just refuses to appear on screen. In order to let him make a cameo appearance in "Wesley and Yuan Zhenxia" produced by himself, Mr. Cai tempted him, saying that there were many beauties such as Maggie Cheung on the set, and the wine he drank was the real Louis XIII, so he immediately agreed. .

Mr. Ni was fat and short. He couldn't find a suitable evening dress. He tried on more than a dozen sets. The clerk took out one from the bottom of the warehouse and it unexpectedly fit him. After asking, he found out that the dress actually fit him. It is tailor-made for Eric Tsang.

In that scene, Mr. Ni played a writer. A girl with big boobs praised: "She really looks like a writer."

Mr. Ni glared at her: "He is a writer in the first place. Acting as a writer doesn't act like a writer, and he won't die?"

Later, Mr. Cai asked him to play a prostitute who was about to die. During the filming, he was drunk and fell unconscious. Mr. Cai simply gave him the setting of a drunken prostitute.

Later, he played a drunken old doctor in "Declaration of Life" directed by Lin Delu. He wore a mask and performed surgery on people. There was an inner scene and he needed to take close-ups of his expressions. Mr. Ni is out of state. Lin Delu shouted: "Act with your eyes!"

Ni Laoyi was angry, took off his mask, and shouted: "You clearly know that my eyes are so small, and you still ask me to act with my eyes! You are not going to die. !”

In fact, Mr. Ni is not a stingy person. The reason why he is so angry is because the opposite role is played by the beautiful lady Li Jiaxin who almost became his daughter-in-law.

Mr. Ni has always said that filming is easy. Drinking wine and flirting with beautiful women can be done in one scene. Everyone praised him for being an extremely good actor and being very dedicated. In fact, it's just because the people he plays opposite are beauties like Michelle Reis and Li Zhi. Therefore, he himself is also fascinated by his career as an actor.

4 It turns out that you are such a master at seducing girls

Speaking of beauties, Mr. Ni is definitely a master at seducing girls. As mentioned earlier, the use of Gu Long's supernatural stories to scare the three beauties Zheng Yuling, Li Qihong and Zhong Liti is an example.

Mrs. Ni also expressed her position when someone accused Mr. Cai of instigating Mr. Ni to act as a prostitute, which insulted the reputation of a great writer: "Ni Kuang plays the role of a writer and a prostitute. They are all in the same profession."

On the one hand, it shows the deep love between the couple, and the mutual understanding and trust between the two parties. On the other hand, it also illustrates Mr. Ni’s superb skills in seducing girls.

Mr. Ni and Mrs. Ni got married after only three or four months of knowing each other. Was that still in the 1950s? It can be seen that Ni Lao’s ideas are more than half a century ahead of ours.

When he took Mrs. Ni to register, she was only 23 and Mrs. Ni was 20. The registrar shook his head desperately and said he was too young, too young.

Mr. Cai asked if it was like writing a script and said to Mrs. Ni: "I love you, please marry me!"

Mr. Ni glanced at Mrs. Ni and said : "How can such a thing be done in real life? I knelt down honestly, gave the ring, and then said: 'I love you, please marry me.'"

Mrs. Ni who was present said: "Only a ghost would believe what he said." But I guess he must be extremely sweet in his heart!

After decades of being an old married couple, Mr. Ni has always been extremely disgusted with Mrs. Ni. While living in seclusion in San Francisco, Mr. Nee never once regretted Hong Kong. On the contrary, Mrs. Nee had to go back several times a year, leaving Mr. Ni alone in the United States. Mr. Ni always clamored to collect a "loneliness fee" from Mrs. Nee. In private, Mrs. Ni has been affectionately called "Sister Pig".

When she was preparing to move back to Hong Kong from the United States, she was cleaning out her things because there were too many items and she was short on time. Due to excessive fatigue, Mrs. Ni developed allergies and her whole body became swollen. After seeing this, Mr. Ni hid in the garage, beat his chest and cried.

"I almost killed two people when I moved," he said.

"Fuck you, you are not the son in my belly, how can you get one body and two lives?" Mrs. Ni asked.

Mr. Ni hugged her and said, "You are dead. Even though I am alive, I am not alive. What is it but two lives with one body?"

Therefore, old friends and children They all gave Mr. Ni a nickname, "The King of Enemies", which in Cantonese means being able to please women and being attentive. Isn’t it what we call “a master of seducing girls” now?

I’m afraid I can’t even learn this routine, one after another.

5 It turns out you are such a foodie

How can you escape the fate of a foodie after having known Mr. Cai for so many years?

During the weight loss period, I could eat a four- to five-pound leg of lamb in one meal. So even if I only eat one meal a day, I still won't lose weight.

There are several big pieces of fried pork chop, fried prawns, oysters, and scallops as well.

Mr. Ni likes to raise fish, and he also likes to eat fish. Yellow croaker, red spot, yellow-legged catfish, there are almost no fish that he has not eaten before.

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Many people like to save the best food for last when eating, so that each time they eat, it will taste better. But Mr. Ni said that the best should be eaten first, "Who knows if you will die in the middle of eating?"

He is also a serious foodie with an astonishing knowledge reserve, just like a dictionary. You can even get information about water shield that few people know about at your fingertips. Seeing Cai Lao's article mentioning water shield, I sent three or four emails in succession to explain the characteristics of water shield. His seriousness is evident.

Not only can he eat, but he can also make food. Half of the salted eggs he soaked were eaten by four people.

Mr. Ni had high cholesterol, and the doctor advised him to quit smoking. This would cost him his life. But he is also a very individual person, and he does whatever he thinks of.

One day, you decide to lose weight, then start losing weight. When having a meal, put a small scale on the dining table and a book that calculates calories. Then, it really decreased.

Later, I simply let it go. Anyway, "Being fat is death, and being thin is death. It's better to die after eating a full meal."

It's better to be a dead man who is full than to be a dead man who is hungry. This is the motto of many foodies!

6 It turns out that you have such a prime minister’s belly

As the saying goes, the prime minister’s belly can punt a boat. Mr. Ni also suffered a lot. When he met that man again, he never mentioned it inappropriately.

Mr. Ni said: "Society is still tolerant of people. This guy has survived to this day and has not starved to death. Many so-called columnists who can't stand it at all also write the same. How many years have I not made a movie? A director and a screenwriter who wrote less than ten scripts in his life lived well. He was so tolerant." After Gu Long's death, all his belongings disappeared, including his suit. Taken away.

Mr. Ni, who is as clear-minded as a mirror, certainly knows who did it, but he did not name anyone. He only said confidently: "I shouted at Gu Long's change: The things around Gu Long are easy to get." A few things will be buried with you, otherwise, hey, I can enjoy both black and white, and I have a good show for you to see."

The next day, a few watches and pens appeared quietly. .

7 It turns out you have such a creed in life

Many of Mr. Ni’s preferences are calculated using quotas. He feels that every aspect of life should have a ration. Life is unpredictable, but the amount is certain. If it is used in advance, then the old days will only be miserable.

When the writing quota was used up, he immediately stopped writing. No matter how high someone offered him royalties, he would not write anymore. When your drinking quota is used up, stop drinking. But no matter what, one rule must be followed: if you have wine today, you will get drunk today. "The most important thing in life is to have fun in time."

Due to physical reasons, I have to avoid eating many things. Mr. Ni and Mr. Cai complained that all the quotas had been used up.

Mr. Cai comforted: "At least there is a quota for thoughts!"

"There is no quota for food, no quota for wine, and no quota for sex to adjust, dry and dry thoughts What's the use of quotas? "

As long as you are alive, everything is fixed. Use it as soon as possible while you are still alive, and it will not accrue interest anyway. Wouldn't it be a waste to die one day and leave so many unused quotas?

8 It turns out you are such an alien

Mr. Ni has gout and cannot eat seafood, but in order to accompany his old friend, he eats it.

"Physical pain is inevitable, but mental pain cannot be felt if you don't think about it." Mr. Ni calls himself an alien and lives a cool life. At the funeral, everyone laughed out loud. This is absolutely impossible for ordinary people like us.

Physical pain is pain, but mental pain cannot be ignored. But Mr. Ni is not an ordinary person after all. He can be so open-minded not because he has no pain, but because he is good at forgetting.

Wong Kar-wai said that the source of all pain is because our memory is too good.

It seems that talented people all think alike, but only aliens like Mr. Ni can truly forget the pain!

Everything can be solved once you think about it and see it clearly. How to think about it? How to look away? It is a life lesson that we ordinary people have spent our whole lives learning, but Mr. Ni can do it easily. What is he if he is not an alien?

9 So you are such a writer

How many words did Mr. Ni write? No one has done any serious statistics.

He can write 11 pieces of manuscript paper in one hour, each piece of manuscript paper has 500 squares, and each page contains 5,500 words. One hour and 60 minutes, one minute and 60 seconds, one hour is only 3600 seconds. It doesn't take him even a second to write a word.

Eat and drink, play with shells, listen to music, and write for three hours a day, averaging 12,000 words. (I feel extremely ashamed to think that I am so tired from writing 3,000 words a day that my back aches.)

I write 365 days a year until I stop writing. Counting 30 years, there are at least hundreds of millions of words.

Hundreds of martial arts novels have been published, Wesley Kahara Zhenxia has more than 90 books, and 400 movie scripts have been published.

"Ming Pao" once gave Mr. Ni two large stacks of manuscript papers, which were piled up to the wall, from the floor to the ceiling. My son has been studying abroad for two or three years and has used up all the manuscript paper.

Life is endless and output is endless.

In the future, when you think that you have worked hard enough, just use this matter of Mr. Ni to hit yourself on the head. I am sure it will be more effective than anything else.

Renmin University of China writers are using their lives to produce, why do you still think you have done your best?

10 It turns out that you have said such famous quotes

Many people remember Mr. Ni’s Wesley. In fact, his essays are also very beautiful. Collected into books include "Letter in a Dream", "Letter after Drinking", "Letter in the Cloud" and "Letter under the Lamp".

Mr. Ni mentioned in his preface: "Some words, often mentioned on various occasions, are my own opinions... These words are just my own will. I said and wrote them without any request for anything." After reading this, whether you agree or disagree, I have said what I want to say and the purpose has been achieved. You can accept as much as you can and object as much as you can. It’s up to you. ."

Then, I found that I agreed with every word he said.

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