Good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles. Is this the legendary gossip? ...
In the rural hometown, during the slack season, the old neighbors get together in groups of three or five, and the parents in the metropolis soon talk.
Whose daughter-in-law gave birth to a baby? ...
Whose child is admitted to the university? ...
Whose sow gave birth? ...
There are countless such things. When a group of people talk, it is called a passion, accompanied by laughter. ...
One day, Lao Li's daughter brought a prospective son-in-law to old Ali. On her way home, she met a group of people When everyone saw it, it was amazing. The old man is at least ten years older than Lao Li's daughter, and a group of people are talking about it.
Is Lao Li's daughter a mistress? ...
Did the old man's playboy deliberately seduce Lao Li's eldest daughter? ...
The eldest daughter of Lao Li is also fighting for money, and all the old men in the family want to get it. ...
Word spread, and all the old neighbors in Shiliba Village knew about it. It is said that Lao Li's daughter is not kind and has no quality. She only recognizes money and not people, so it is better for her children to be self-disciplined ...
At first, Lao Li turned a blind eye to this problem, but gossip, like a flood, hit Lao Li in the heart after wave, biting his family like a beast. ...
One day, Lao Li went out on business and met a group of old ladies chatting. Just through the crowd, a group of old ladies pointed at Lao Li's head and said something behind his back ... Lao Li was angry and finally broke out, loudly saying ...
The daughter is sitting in danger, and the child is promising. What's wrong with finding me a postdoctoral son-in-law Isn't it just that boys spend more years studying and talking about love? Isn't it just a few years older? He is still a "yellow flower boy". Are you talking about it every day, regardless of occasion or place? Suddenly there was silence, and a storm passed ... Lao Li suddenly relaxed a lot and strode forward with his head held high. ...
Gossip can destroy a person in an instant, so how to face it correctly?
The answer is as follows:
About how to deal with gossip. Therefore, I wrote a short article "Gossip". Maybe we can benefit from this article. ...
The original text is as follows:
Indeed, if a person is attacked by gossip, his reputation will undoubtedly be destroyed in an instant. However, if handled properly, there is no room for recovery.
We should first learn to be calm, not impatient and unhurried. The more impatient and upset you are, the more people think you have a problem.
Secondly, learn to be silent, not arguing and not explaining. Some words or things are deliberately fabricated by people who want to discredit you, out of thin air, with the aim of attracting you to the bait. You can't argue and explain. The more you argue and explain, the more counterproductive it is.
Then learn to meditate and wait and see, and let time prove what you have done. How do you usually express yourself? As always, don't care about other people's eyes.
"The mud is not sticky, clear but not demon." This famous saying, which is well-known and spread through the ages, comes from The Theory of Ailian, written by Zhou Dunyi, a famous Neo-Confucianism, writer and philosopher in the Northern Song Dynasty. This famous saying perfectly explains his honest life. Therefore, as long as a person is honest, he will show his noblest, purest and most ordinary side to others. So why are you afraid of those rumors?
Text/Ouyang Shengqing
20 19-3-26 was written in Foshan.
20 19-3-29 in Foshan.
The original text is included in Ouyang Shengqing's personal anthology 1, Op. 34 manuscript.
When a person is faced with gossip, he must keep calm and normal. The person who spreads gossip is a dog. The more nervous and scared you are, the more dogs will chase you and bite you. Sometimes, there are some things you can't explain and there is no need to explain. The more you explain, the more confused you are, and the more you explain, the less people believe you. Why don't you let go? As long as you have done nothing wrong, stand up straight and show your confidence. You should know what the purpose of these people who spread gossip is. Don't be taken in by him and hit the nail on the head. This kind of person is a mean person who has no quality, is unreasonable, is shameless, has no self-knowledge and is afraid of chaos in the world.
Such people do things without relying on their own abilities and can't do anything. He is nothing like others, so he has a jealousy of hurting others. Even if you never mess with him, you will mess with him. As long as you are better than him in any way, he will try to hurt you and destroy you. People who are as harmful as themselves will eventually be seen through by everyone.
Real gold is not afraid of fire, and it is really not afraid of hardship. As long as a person has a true and kind heart, he will eventually defend himself. Facts can prove everything, and facts can determine the future.
When I was young and inexperienced, my father taught me a sentence, which I still remember: whenever you can't help but want to criticize others, you should remember that not everyone in this world has your superior conditions.
Every one of us, the living environment we grew up in, the education we received, the character we formed, the family background and the opportunities we had, are unmatched by others.
Criticizing others with their own unique conditions just exposes their ignorance.
As Han Han said:
If you don't understand, then shut up, because you don't know what others have experienced.
If you understand, you should shut up all the more.
Many things are not what you think at all. I have never really experienced it, and I just judge others with my own unique conditions. To put it mildly, it's easy to stand and talk. At worst, it is: pity your ignorance and shallowness.
We all have strong times, but we also have weak times. "People's words" are harmless to the strong. The strong can shut you up and make you into thin air, while the weak can only bear it silently. Therefore, when you are strong, people will applaud and send flowers to worship you; And when you are at a disadvantage and in a weak position, they will abuse you loudly, gloat and clap their hands for joy.
Bow and scrape at the feet of the strong, and the sense of superiority is on the heads of the weak. This is a weakness of human nature, which will be overcome and abandoned by smart people.
All relationships contain right and wrong, but they can't be explained by reason. Everything should be thought clearly, only suitable for one person.
Born as a man, I am most afraid of being short-sighted and not knowing it, which will eventually lead to irreparable consequences.
Being a person with a clean heart, clear thinking and no unnecessary emotions and delusions will bring people a sense of security. Because he doesn't hurt people or himself. Don't make trouble and don't disturb others. To some extent, this is a proverb.
If your thoughts have not failed, you will not be defeated.
If you fall into a rumor and give up on yourself, you will be defeated. This is the real destruction.
People who gossip want to make you lose interest.
First, look down on the benefits. In fact, many people live an ordinary life without gossip. Does everyone need to like it? You are not RMB? Actually, ask someone who has been in trouble. Basically, when you are in trouble, you are just a few sincere and warm-hearted people. Some people can't win when they see that you are in trouble, and some people even want to hit people when they are in trouble. ...
Second, this place can't stay any longer. You just need to change places. Ordinary people may be better than stars. Do you know everyone? ...
Third, in the face of gossip, stick to being yourself. After seeing people for a long time, you really can't fake it. You really can't fake it. ...
Fourth, insist on being yourself. If you are immersed in loss, you will lose more. Maybe I will lose what you call fame and fortune, but at least my will will not be destroyed. Stubborn efforts will definitely find a way out.
It is unreasonable for a living person to learn a game that can be suffocated by urine. ...
I don't think gossip will destroy me, and that person won't be told? People in this world who are not slandered by gossip are basically mediocre people. ...
In the book Meeting the Unknown Self, the author tells us that there are only three things in life: your own business, others' business and God's business. There should be different attitudes towards these three different things: doing your own thing seriously, not interfering in other people's affairs, and accepting God's arrangement.
Gossip comes from other people's mouths. The first thing we should do is to reflect on ourselves. Is there anything we haven't done well that gives these gossips a chance to be born? Is this your own business, or is the task unfinished? Or touched someone else's bottom line? Or interpersonal relationships are not handled well, and so on. Nothing is groundless, there must be a reason.
When we reflect and repeatedly confirm that we have no problem, the gossip at this time is someone else's business. Since it is someone else's business, what we have to do is not to be ruined by other people's unimportant things. People who spread gossip have ulterior motives and want to make us unhappy in this immoral way. If we are really depressed, wouldn't it be as good as they want? In this process, apart from being misunderstood, what have we gained? We often say that "rumors stop with wise men", which of course makes sense. If we don't care, they can only touch their noses and leave in despair.
Some people may think, how can you ignore your own gossip? Your image has been damaged, my friends and colleagues are far away from me, and my boss thinks I am unreliable. This is a very serious matter! In my opinion, a good friend who truly believes in you will only believe in you. If they believe in bad gossip and choose to leave you, they can only say that they don't really want to be with you. Such friends don't have to worry. For the boss, to believe that "gold always shines", we are us. The essence will not change because of the various colored labels added by others, and some people will see the truth behind the rumors.
To sum up, in the face of gossip, on the one hand, we should reflect on ourselves and make improvements, on the other hand, we should adjust our mentality so that we don't care about false rumors and believe that rumors stop with wise people.
Northerners drink good wine, while southerners love tea. When nothing happens, northerners like to drink heavily, while southerners like to drink fine products. However, they all like to talk about the gap between drinking and fine products!
The topics mentioned are not very extensive, either Zhang San's uncle or Li Si's little girl, or recounting uncle's past, or digging deep into the little girl's future. In short, China's old saying should be answered: no one says behind anyone, and no one says behind anyone.
What can destroy a person is not gossip, but vicious words. Of course, whether the owner of gossip can withstand the storm is also a key factor in whether bad words can destroy a person!
In my opinion, people who can be slandered by words need to practice more in the melting pot of society. After all, the world is full of miracles, and there is no law that everyone should be polite to you. There are all kinds of birds in the Woods, and there are always several people who don't like each other on the way. You can't control other people's thoughts and words, so you should control your own thoughts.
People who are ruined by others' words are still because their hearts are not strong enough. It is easily influenced by the outside world. No one said anything in front, and no one said anything behind. As long as you look at it with a normal heart, your heart will not move and nothing will move. After a while, even if someone wants to talk, no one wants to hear it. Because there is no freshness.
Saying right and wrong is right and wrong. Since you can't stop others from saying anything, stay away from people who are right and wrong, and you can laugh it off. Crazy clouds envy the bright moon, and anger flies thousands of miles. If you don't get angry for a month, you will never be white.
It is simple and complicated to face gossip correctly.
When you have enough coping ability, because you are confident, strong in heart, firm in opinion and have a sense of heroism, is gossip useful? Because I believe that gold will be humiliated sometimes, but it will eventually shine, and I believe its true value.
When you are a mentally unsound person, a weak-willed person, a person who goes with the flow, and a person whose will is easily destroyed, gossip is a disaster.
A firm will and a confident life begin with basic education.