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1. A good man is me. I'm Ceng Xiaoxian.
I will spray you to death with a bite of salt and soda.
Opportunities have fallen on me. But I avoided them all.
4. Hard life needs no explanation!
How can you say that he is crazy? Only if you have a brain.
6. Two heads are better than one, Zhuge Liang stinks.
7. Well said, I don't quite understand a lot.
Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.
9. Help me cut the carrot into diced meat.
10. If you have an identity, you have an ID card.
1 1. ziqiao: easy to understand, son. You can draw inferences from others. Much better than a flying silly brother. Zhang Wei: What happened to that silly brother? | Zi Qiao: Him? He took away the most beautiful rich girl in our apartment.
12. Yumo: What's wrong with being 28? What I hate most is age discrimination! Huang Zhong fought with Liu Bei and Tokugawa Ieyasu at the age of 70, became prime minister with Jiang Ziya at the age of 80, followed She Taijun at the age of 100, studied Buddhism with the Monkey King at the age of 500, and fell in love with White Snake at the age of 1000! !
13. Xiaoxian: OK, you have seed, then I'll tell her that Guan Gu has liked you for a long time. | Guangu: What are you talking about? | Xiaoxian: Ha! It's still fake. You can see from Yo-Yo's last audition that his pupils are dilated and he's fidgeting. More than 20 packets of instant noodles I bought later have been ground into flour by you.
14. Meijia: Why don't you learn from Wu Sangui? You should know how to bear the burden of humiliation. | Zi Qiao: It depends on who is right. She is Chen Yuanyuan Meijia: What's the big deal? My surname is Chen, too. | Zi Qiao: Chen Yuanyuan, you (aiming at the chest), Chen Bianbian ~ ~
15. Hu Yifei suddenly dropped from the height of six kilometers to one kilometer. Why is she still alive? Wrong answer: Because she fell down in the plane. The correct answer is: Because she is a shareholder of China.
16. Zi Qiao: Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear; Meijia: Your arms are strong, your breasts are broad and mighty, and your skin is impeccable.
17. Yifei: Primitive Animal Association, is this society? Zhan Bo: This is the Association of Primitive Animal Researchers. There are many girls in it. Haven't you seen the photos? Yifei: Eight girls, four with steel teeth, three cups thicker than beer bottles, and one bigger than you? Now I fully understand why it is called the Primitive Animal Association. You can study each other without buying specimens.
18. Zhanbo: Make five copies first? Rape and chicken rice flower? ! Wan Yu (to the waiter): So we want five copies? Rape and chicken rice flower? Yifei: Two prodigies. Who are they? Spicy chicken rice flower? | Zhanbo: Oh, really, changed its name?
19. Zhang Wei: I finally understand who the third person on this toilet sign is. Men, women, Hu Yifei! | Zi Qiao: It's just appearance. I tell you, the source of wisdom and life, you should know how to find stories with your eyes. If you look closely, you will find that the third person definitely refers to Ceng Xiaoxian! Zhang Wei: Ceng Laoshi, why? | Zi Qiao: Because his legs are short.
20. Zhanbo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him? Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is God's business. My task is to send him to God!
2 1. Meijia: My period came early to see me. My waist hurts, and my stomach is very uncomfortable now. | Guangu: Meijia, your period is so kind to you, or she will sleep in my room and I will sleep on the sofa today. Wan Yu: Guangu, what you said about your period is not the same as what she said. | Guangu: Oh, does Meijia have many periods? Your grandmother is really fertile. I only have one, but I have three young aunts!
22. Spy: Be lenient in confession and strict in resistance. Say, what's your name? | Xiaoxian: My name is Jackie Chan. Spy: Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Put your attitude right and say your name? | Fairy: My name is Zhen Chen. I said, I said, my name is Zeng Ge, my name is really Zeng Ge, you believe me!
23. Youyou: Do you know what is the greatest pain in life? Is to sit next to you and you don't know it. Do you know what is the greatest pain in life? Is that you already know the secret, but you can't tell it.
24. Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He lives in two suites in the same apartment with a girl. It's a pity that one always goes to the left and the other always takes the elevator.
25. Zi Qiao: I'm Chen Yuanyuan, and you? (glancing at his chest) Chen, flat, flat!
26. Zhanbo: People use eight words to describe her: quiet as a virgin, moving as crazy.
27. Zi Qiao: Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are tender and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear;
28. Meijia: Your arms are strong, your chest is broad and mighty, and your skin is invulnerable. ...
29. Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day, I dreamed that I was taking an exam. Then I suddenly realized that something even more terrible had happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam!
30. Guangu: Isn't The Promise a romantic film? Zi Qiao: Ha! I can't understand the movie at first sight! ... The Promise is a horror movie!
3 1. Lisa: It's you! Ceng Xiaoxian! Ceng Xiaoxian: You know me? Lisa: My classmate's cousin's neighbor and your brother-in-law's cousin are in-laws!
Lisa: (pointing to Ceng Xiaoxian's face) It's not the software. You should change the monitor!
33. Yifei: Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before the age of two, our brains grew together.
34. Xiaoxian: Yes, and then the doctor gave Zhan Bo all his brains with a sharp knife.
35. Joe: At that time, the sky was still blue and the water was still green. There is no bird flu in chickens and ducks, and pork can be safely eaten. At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures, and you had to pay back your debts. My mother-in-law married your daughter for no reason, and the father of the child ... is also very clear.
36. Ceng Xiaoxian: Hello, everyone, I am your new little saint and good friend. ...
37. Yifei: Tell your unhappy things to make everyone happy.
38. Passers-by: Eat biscuits and beer covers, eat wonton and moth balls, shoot flies and nail nails, and go to Qingsongguan to burn incense. The mobile phone fell into the merit box and could not be taken out.
39. Sister Flash: Canned sardines are more promising than you!
40. Sister Flash: There is not enough money, the actors are undecided, and the script is temporarily unavailable.
4 1. Yifei: Gee, you wrote the word depressed on your face. If you can't read, you really can't tell.
42. Yifei: You are a fool! The world is big, but you lack that heart.
43. Yifei: Let me see, astronomical observation team, pesticide testing center, and ... Primitive Animal Association, are you social?
44. Zhanbo: This is the Association of Primitive Animal Researchers. There are many girls in it. Haven't you seen the photos?
45. Yifei: Eight girls, four with steel teeth, three cups thicker than beer bottles, and one bigger than you ... Now I fully understand why it is called the Primitive Animal Association. You can study each other without buying specimens.
46. Yifei: I don't think it is reliable at all. China's winning the World Cup is almost as outrageous as yours.
47. Meijia: Look at your big face. Every time I stand next to you, my cell phone has no signal, and I can't see the sun when I walk on the road!
48. Zi Qiao: Did you get your head squeezed by the door? You dinosaur that degenerates three times a day!
49. Zhanbo: Do I look unhappy?
50. Wan Yu: It is the duty of every citizen to despise him.
5 1. I will definitely be cut into potato chips.
52. Since ancient times, no one has died, and everyone has a morning and a night.
53. Now the raw rice has been cooked into porridge.
54. It's not terrible to die, but it's terrible to wait and die.
55. Left eye jumps, peach blossoms bloom, right eye jumps, and chrysanthemums bloom.
You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.
57. It's up to me to agree or disagree. If there is any objection, she has the final decision.
58. God, I can't wash myself by jumping into the sea in Japan.
59. Meeting and parting are like turning around, which goes round and round, forming the dance of life. Some people will come back, and some people know that goodbye is too difficult.
60. You are more like Donnie Yen than Jet Li!
6 1. Bet me that it's not what you want, it's what I own.
62. Beating people does not advocate hitting the face and hurting self-esteem. We are brothers. As long as you dare to use violence against any of us, the other two of us will call the police.