The proprietress of Yihonglou came to sow discord.
After eating the rice cooked by Xiao Guo, she said: "This tastes exactly the same as what my mother cooked for me~~!"
Shopkeeper Tong: "Oh, your childhood was not very happy~!~!"
Bai: OK, Xiaoguo, you also learned to embroider penguins?
Tong :That’s a mandarin duck!!
Big mouth: “Isn’t it really hard to put money under your feet?”
Shopkeeper Qian: “You’ll know when you get married, men will Because of this, I got corns!”
Who can avoid getting stabbed in the world? Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder has miraculous effects when used internally or externally. After being knifed and smeared with a bag, I still want to be knifed a second time. If I dodge my waist and eat a bag, I will live to be two hundred and not look old. Baituoshan bone-strengthening powder, the powder of youth, the powder of friendship, the designated nutritional supplement of Huashan Lunjian, is sold in all major drug stores and medical centers in this town. When purchasing, please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark, croak, croak..."< /p>
Xing Captou: "Thank you! Thank you mom! Thank you to your whole family! I thank you for your eighteenth generation of ancestors! ! ”
Wushuang: Just average, Miss Hong Kong is the third... Your dress is very attractive.
Xiao Guo: Very ugly, Miss Asia is the ninth, all because of her dexterity
(Xiucai: Why do these words sound so familiar?)
Xiao Guo: Your beauty nourishes the skin from the inside out, and is so pure that it makes people pity you. /p>
Wushuang: Your beauty touches the heavens and the earth from bone to skin. This feeling can be remembered forever.
Yan Baantou: "Zhui Feng, one of the three famous arresters in the six gates of the capital." Four! ”
Zhuifeng: “Hmm”
Yan Captou: “Well, the third of the four famous captors” “My mother’s arrival is likely to affect her career~!” ”
“The legendary sub-health state in the world has caused many heroes to withdraw from the world! ”
“I wish you to grow old together and have no descendants”
“I wish you to have a son soon, and the white-haired person will give the black-haired person”
“True love is precious, escape marriage guilty! "
"Confucius once said: 'It is rude to come and not go back'"
"Oh, so you are rude to her? ”
“Who can avoid being stabbed in the rivers and lakes? After being stabbed once, I guarantee you will be stabbed a second time~~~"
"Look at you, you are sunny, handsome, smart, and alert~ You have Wu Song's boldness and Ximen Qing's. Wandering~~~~~~~~~"
"If life is a chance encounter, then death is an inevitable breakup..."
Xiucai: Confucius said, Shakespeare said, While there is life, there is hope. If you keep the green hills, you will not be afraid of running out of firewood.
“Master said: Knowledge is power” “Which Master?” "Bacon son" "Which dynasty is it from?" ""Britain"
"I am born with talent that will be useful, and money can't buy me happiness. I will come back after all the gold is gone, and I can use it as I want."
Big Mouth: If you have trouble with me, you have trouble with my uncle. If you have trouble with my uncle, you have trouble with the yamen. If you have trouble with the yamen, you have trouble with the court. .........
Bai: OK, Xiao Guo, have you learned how to embroider penguins?
Tong: Those are mandarin ducks!!
Shopkeeper Tong put the blame on Xiucai for Bao Laobai, and Ji Wuming went after him. Xiucai: Wait, force can't solve any problem. ;What son?
Xiu Cai: Lu Zi. (Haha, I guess he is talking about himself)
Ji: I will do whatever you want, you don’t need to shout first. . Take your life--
Xiucai: Wait--you can kill me, but you have to explain first, in whose hands will I die? Ah, I have to finish my words...)
Ji: Nonsense, it’s me.
Xiucai: I... am... (Why do I look like Huang Rong? Xidu Ouyang Feng's move...)
Ji: How do I know who you are?
The scholar smiled and said: Here comes the problem...
< p>Ji was confused: What do you mean...Xiucai: This has to start with the relationship between man and the universe. There has always been a problem haunting you. .
(He finally found someone to give a philosophical speech to)
Ji: What do you mean?
Xiucai; who am I?
Ji: This, I already know
Xiucai: No, you don’t know. You know, who are you? Is Ji Wuming? No, it's just a name, a code name. You can call me Ji Wuming, I can also call you Ji Wuming, they can both. After taking away the code name, who are you?
Ji (he fainted haha): I don’t know, and I don’t need to know
Xiucai (before Ji Fa gets angry): Okay, okay, then you can answer my other question A question - who am I?
Ji: This question has already been asked
Xiucai: No, I just asked about the ego, and now I ask about the self (very dialectical) Question)
Ji: Is there any difference? (You’re curious, you’ve fallen into the trap.)
Xiucai: For example, when I use my code name to have a conversation, your code name is also me. What does this mean? Does this mean that you are me and I am you....
Ji: Is this question meaningless?
Xiucai: Then ask a few meaningful ones. Where did I come from in life and where will I go in death? Why should I appear in this world? What does my presence mean to the world? Did the world choose me, or did I choose the world? (We are beginning to reach a climax. The scholar is really a master of negotiation in leading the topic!)
Ji; That’s enough....
The scholar: Is there an inevitable connection between me and the universe? ? Is there an end to the universe? Is there any length of time? Where does the past time disappear? Where does future time stop? Is the question I raise at this moment the same question you mentioned just now? (Sigh, how many philosophical masters have gone crazy thinking about these questions? It’s normal for Ji Wuming’s brain to be knotted)
Ji (head got so big that he went crazy): I’ll kill you——
The scholar shouted: Who killed me, and who did I kill (how brave...it shocked countless people)
Ji (stupefied): Did I kill me?
Xiucai: The answer is correct! Let’s do it!
...So Ji Wuming, the top master of a generation, died like this...
Ending
Xiucai: He won't wake up again, will he?
Lao Bai; probably not anymore
Xiao Guo: What kind of statement is this?
Xiucai (arranging his appearance and posing): Knowledge is power!
The audience applauded...
Hand over the rotten eggs and release the hostages...
"Who can avoid being stabbed in the rivers and lakes?" ? Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder has miraculous effects when used internally or externally. If you want to get stabbed again, you can eat a pack of Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder to live to 200 years old. , the powder of youth, the powder of friendship, the designated nutritional supplement of Huashan Lunjian, which is sold in all major drug stores and hospitals in this town. When purchasing, please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark, croak, croak..."
Everyone goes back to his own house and looks for his own mother!
“It’s only when we reach the top of the mountain that we realize that there are only a few steps between the wrong road and the right road.”
“Sometimes catching a thief is as simple as that.”
Lu Xiucai: I stabbed you once and you said four words. I stabbed you twice and you said 36,000 words. Why?
Guo Furong:...
Lu Xiucai: When I stabbed you with the first sword, you said, "My hero, spare your life." When I stabbed you with the second sword, you said, "Thirty-six thousand." A thousand words”! ~
“Only when you keep your tail between your legs is you called a knight”
“You don’t want to make steamed buns to fight for your reputation!”
“Where is your sword?”
p>
"The sword is in the heart. What about you? Why don't you bring a knife?"
"There is no knife in the hand, but there is a knife in the heart.
”
The camera zoomed in, close-up, the two people pulled each other’s hair, slapped, and bit each other,
At the same time, they shouted to each other, “Let go, let go!” You put it first! You put it first! ”
“Beauty is not discounted”
My sister is beautiful, my sister is discounted
The people inside listen, hand over the stinky tofu, and release the hostages!!!
“Ah, my blazing biceps~~~! ! ”
Thief God: Are there any thieves like you? After stealing things, you still help people clean up the house
Thief Saint (White): Can you do it if you don’t clean up? They have to follow you Where are the footprints?
Thief God: Once you get the thing, how many days will it take you to send it back?
Thief Saint: Is it okay if you don’t send it back? Ah!
Zhang Fei...Yue Fei...Faye Wong@_@
"Do you think I love money so much? ”
“You are! ”
“I am ashamed”
“It’s okay to know how to be ashamed”
“Be ashamed and happy”
Shi Niang sang: Are you hungry~~~~~
Bai Zhantang’s orifices were bleeding after hearing this...
It really made people laugh
The boss’s wife went on a hunger strike against Li Dazui Doubtful: You usually eat even if you are not hungry, but now you are not hungry even if you don’t eat for two days?
Mo Xiaobei: Just let me die!
The boss’s wife: I want to die! ?! Let’s talk after I finish studying!
If God gives me another chance, I will definitely tell you three words: Put less salt!
, 2 men and one woman
Zhang Fei, Yue Fei, Faye Wong
The adults do not remember the faults of the villains, the prime minister can punt a boat in his belly, the moon falls, crows cry and the sky is full of frost, the couple both hold hands Home is still
If the tiger doesn’t show its power, you think I’m Hello Kitty
Do you know why the flowers are fragrant?
That’s because of me
Do you know why the leaves are green?
That’s because of me
Do you know why the butt smells bad?
It’s because of Lao Bai< /p>
Think about it, it is more than 18,000 times more terrifying than bandits. What could it be? You are forcing us into marriage
Think about it, it is 18,000 times more terrifying than bandits. More than a thousand times, you will know who he is when you look in the mirror
A woman's happiness is to marry a man and serve him for the rest of her life.
Why can't he serve me for the rest of my life? .
Do you know why you can’t get married?
Oh my god, are you highly myopic and astigmatic, or are you suffering from glaucoma, presbyopia and cataracts? How can you be so blind? Why don’t you go for retinal surgery?
Music is just like being a human being. Once you reach a certain level, you can never get down.
The road is long and long. I will go up and down, east, west, north, south and middle. Everywhere Bai goes, he searches hard.
Remember, you are not sweeping the ground, but your dusty heart.
Yes, we are all dusty. My heart, it’s you, can come out of the mud but not be stained, live in the toilet without being smelly
Ask if this mountain is the highest in the world. A child with love is like a treasure. If the sky has feelings, the sky will also grow old. I will love you until I forget. No, I can't forget your love, your kindness, your intoxicating lingering, and the faint smell of tobacco on your fingers~~~
If I have such a good man, I will definitely cherish him , love him, treat him like a treasure, keep him at home every day and don’t let him go out, he can only talk to me alone, and can only eat the food I cook. Hey, why don’t I just raise a dog
A hero who is incompatible with the world, a man who is like an enigma, a lonely and affectionate traveler... a madman who regards glory as wealth as dung... a wise man who knows how to enjoy life, a true A living man... This is him, a great hero who was born in the world and is famous in the court... What is his name... A man who buys songs and laughs with gold and white jade, and becomes a prince after being drunk for a long time, what a poetic name... ...Faced with the setbacks and unreasonable accusations in life, Lu Daxia's choice is just like what the song says...You hurt me, I just laughed it off.
Where did I come from and where will I die? Why do I appear in this world? What does my appearance mean to this world? Did the world choose me, or did I choose the world? Is there an inevitable connection between me and the universe? Does the universe have an end? Does time have a length? Where does the past time disappear and where does the future time stop? The questions I raise at this moment are the same ones you just heard problem? Who killed me, and who did I kill! !
Lu Xiucai: What can I do?
The landlady looked at him and said: Just live a good life.
Then he pointed at the counter and said: Stand there and don’t move.
Lu Xiucai: Why?
Lady Boss: Save energy and eat less.
Lu Xiucai immediately ran to the counter, expressionless and motionless.
Li Dazui’s mother: My child, when one day you are defeated by the enemy and he wants to kill you, you must let him read the words on your back before you die generously! (The four words on the back: hero Spare your life)
In order to stay, Shi Niang gave Shopkeeper Tong a hundred taels of silver. Everyone despised Shopkeeper Tong? Everyone was angrily: "I just gave you a hundred taels of silver!" Shopkeeper Tong: "I'm a Seeing Jian (seeing) the money beats (the person) makes the head (brain) faint... Does this mean that I am blinded by the money?" Everyone: "That's right!" Shopkeeper Tong: "..." Everyone: "Are you ashamed?" Shopkeeper Tong lowered his head: "Ashamed..." (then raised his head and smiled) "Ashamed, and happy"
"Who can avoid being stabbed in the world?" Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder has miraculous effects when used internally or externally. After being knifed and smeared with a bag, I still want to be knifed a second time. If I dodge my waist and eat a bag, I will live to be two hundred and not look old. Baituoshan Bone-Strengthening Powder, the powder of youth, the powder of friendship, the designated nutritional supplement of Huashan Lunjian, is sold in all major pharmacies and hospitals in this town. When purchasing, please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark, croak, croak..."< /p>
Wu Shuang: Just average, Miss Hong Kong is the third, your dress is attractive. Guo Furong: Very ugly, Miss Asia is the ninth, all because of her dexterous hands. Guo Furong: Your beauty is due to your dexterous hands. It nourishes the skin from the inside out, and makes people pity you. Your beauty touches the heavens and the earth from your bones to your skin.
Shopkeeper: What is your goal? : Become a peerless heroine. Shopkeeper: Why mention it so far? Guo Furong: Increase wages. Shopkeeper: This one is even further away.
Xiucai: Next is a classic line. one, two, three, four, action
The boss lady: I ??was wrong. I was wrong from the beginning. If I don’t marry, my husband will not die. If my husband doesn’t die, I won’t die. Reduced to this place...
Xiucai: I'm wrong. I'm really wrong at the beginning. If I hadn't married my husband would never die if my husband would not die I wouldn' t be here...
Where is the scene? Where is the body? The evidence and temporary residence permit... = =!
Guo Furong likes to speak with a voice. :
You have wasted my friendship with you... Friendship... Friendship... Friendship... Friendship... Friendship... Friendship...
Guo Furong. : So and so, that’s where the Seven Heroes are!
Li Dazui: Who is the Seven Heroes and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? :)
Guo Furong; My hair used to be yellow and blooming*~~Since I used the sesame oil ground by Li Dazui...
Hahahaha
Also: I am good, you are good, everyone is good, it is really good
Reject, deny and deny
Confirm Definitely and definitely
Bai Zhantang: "Low-key! Low-key!!"
Good night I'm sorry
Good night please come in
Good night Goodbye
The PK scene between Furong and Xiucai is very exciting:
Furong: Suppose I can slap you to death with three palms. With each slap, you will scream "Woman, spare your life" , so let me ask you: How many words do you want to say before you die?
Xiucai: I refuse to answer this question.
Fu Rong: That counts as an automatic abstention.
Xiucai: Scream 3 times, 4 words each time, 12 words per sentence.
Furong: Wrong! It’s 9 characters!
Xiucai: Why?
Furong: With the first palm, there are four words, "Xia Xia, please spare my life"; with the second palm, there are eight words, "Xia Xia, please spare my life"; with the third palm, you will die immediately, you He only said one word "Ah", 8+1=9.
Watch "Wulin Gaiden" if you are depressed, watch "Wulin Gaiden" if you are happy.
Pirate Saint Bai Yutang gave a note to the female agent, which said "I want to steal your heart"
The female agent felt hot, and the note came from The hand slipped and happened to fall into the hands of Xing Yusen who was checking the night below. He immediately shouted... It’s not good~~~White Jade Soup is going to eat people………………. . Laugh! !
In order to stay, Shi Niang gave Shopkeeper Tong one hundred taels of silver. Everyone despised Shopkeeper Tong
Everyone was angry: "I just gave you one hundred taels of silver!"
p>
Shopkeeper Tong: "When I saw the hard money, I hit my head and made a fuss... Isn't it that I am blinded by money~~~"
Everyone: "That's so true!!!" !”
Shopkeeper Tong: “…”
Everyone: “Are you ashamed?”
Shopkeeper Tong lowered his head: “ Ashamed...(then raised his head and smiled) Ashamed and happy~~"
Lao Xing's self-hypnosis:
This is not clear soup noodles... This is not clear soup noodles... This Not clear soup noodles...
This is eel noodles...This is eel noodles...This is eel noodles...
This is not a pickle, this is not a pickle, This is not a pickle...
This is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage...
(Then bite)
Who is this Sliding fat intestines? Why is it so salty and crunchy?
I watched a robbery scene yesterday, snatching the beggar’s bowl”
Q: Why did you prefer to snatch him?
A: Is there anyone else on the street so late?
Q: Why did you grab his bowl?
A: Does he have anything else?
When the Bai Zhan Party and Xiao Guo jointly stole the ring, the head criminal had to search pawn shops, antique shops, and grocery stalls first
Xiao Guo: Why, still nothing Woolen cloth?
Xing Baotou: Then search the brothels?
Xiao Guo: Why still not?
Xing Baotou: (with a heavy heart) My mother’s arrival will affect my career!
I tapped the acupuncture point on the cow’s hoof, and my hand was broken...
The dragon is a dragon, a monster and so on...
"I am illiterate, who should I be afraid of? ”
Zhantang: Acting School? ! Do you think I'm an actor? ! ! Isn't this a curse? ! ! I'm an idol! ! !
The Hengshan faction is fighting within itself. I heard that the leader used public funds to build a house for the wedding...
Corruption...
Laugh....
Poor shopkeeper Tong
Big mouth: "Where can I find bird's nests?"
Zhantang: "If I can't find bird's nests, I'll look for pig's nests. The quantity is large, so I'll be full..." "
Laugh at me,,,,hahahahaha...
There are also eight anti-theft methods, which are simply invincible, and dig tunnels in advance,
Captain Xing: Where is the scene? Where is the body? Personal and material evidence, temporary residence permit...
Li Dazui said to Huilan: "It's good for you and me, but it's really good when everyone is good~"
Guo Furong said: "It turns out Like you, my hair is yellow and split. Ever since I used the black sesame oil grinded by Li Dazui..."
Xiaobai said: Why are you scolding people? Who is the "acting school"? I am the authentic one. Idol!
When Lu Xiucai said that Ji Wuming was dead, everyone was surprised and inexplicable. The scholar arranged his appearance, put on his pose, and said: Knowledge is power!
The two elders of gold and silver said: My blazing biceps~~~
“Ask me if this mountain is the highest in the world. A child with love is like a treasure, like the sky. Love is easy to grow old, I love you so much that I can’t forget your tears, your kindness, your intoxicating lingering, and the faint smell of tobacco on my fingers..."
"If If God gives me one last chance, I will say three words to Li Dazui...'Put less salt'!"
"Who can avoid getting stabbed in the rivers and lakes?" Bone meal, the powder of youth, the powder of friendship, the designated nutritional supplement of Huashan Lunjian."
"Everyone goes back to his own home and finds his own mother!"
"You are Lang Jun. If you are not so hungry, tell Shi Niang, Shi Niang will make you some noodle soup, ah hu hey eh hu ah hey, Lang Jun~~ If you are so hungry, tell Xiang. Yu said, Xiangyu will make noodle soup for you."
"Have you ever been to the Second Spring in the World? I've heard people talk about it twice. There are two Taoist priests in that Taoist temple. They like to play the erhu next to the second spring, and the song is called "Er Quan Ying Yue". Go your own way and let others take care of you!"
We pack up the package and leave the city. If there are still people chasing us, we will go straight to Myanmar and Thailand. If there are still people chasing us, we will go straight to Myanmar. , let’s go to Japan, we won’t go without Japan, let’s go to South Korea, cross the equator, cross Egypt, go straight to Siberia and come to the Antarctic. There are still people chasing us when we get to the Antarctic. Let’s go straight to the Pole and get on a rocket to immigrate to Mars. If there are still people chasing us, Well, we have no choice but to run out of the solar system. In the vast universe, where is my place?
Wushuang: The sister-in-law who takes care of my senior brother’s unmarried daughter-in-law!
Xiangyu said: "Find me the most inhuman dog!!!"
Shu Shushu, Fenfenfen, I finally saw the legendary twice-cooked pork. !
The road is long and long, and I will turn white up and down, left, right, southeast, northwest, and middle
Mo Xiaobei: "No matter how much you suffer, just treat yourself as two hundred and fifty, no matter how much you suffer, , just think that you are a loser."
Old Bai: to kneel or not to kneel
Furong: Suppose I can slap you to death with three palms. With each slap, you will die. Screaming "Woman, spare your life", then let me ask you: How many words do you want to say before you die?
Xiucai: I refuse to answer this question.
Fu Rong: That counts as an automatic abstention.
Xiucai: Scream 3 times, 4 words each time, 12 words per sentence.
Furong: Wrong! It’s 9 characters!
Xiucai: Why?
Furong: With the first palm, there are four words, "Xia Xia, please spare my life"; with the second palm, there are eight words, "Xia Xia, please spare my life"; with the third palm, you will die immediately, you He only said one word "Ah", 8+1=9.
Li Dazui’s sentence: whatever...
Wulin Gaiden----Dialogue
1. Torture to arrest the head: pinched?
Lady Boss: All of them are dead.
Xing Baotou: All dead? When did you die? How did you die? Where is the crime scene? Are there any witnesses, physical evidence, or temporary residence permit?
2. A martial arts secret book from my master was placed in front of me
I did not cherish it and only regretted it after losing it
The greatest pain in the world There is nothing better than this
If God gives me another chance to come back
I will say three words to Master and blame you
If I have to give this If the period of complaint is increased, it will be ten thousand years...
3. My brother, I live on the edge of Pinggu City
I have a house and a field at home and live a happy life
< p>Who knew that my master was arrogant and unreasonableHe said that my martial arts skills were destined to lead me to Mount Cuiwei
......
4. If God could give me the last Once I have a chance, I will say three words to Li Dazui - put less salt!
5. When you reach the top of the mountain, you realize that there are only a few steps between the wrong road and the right road.
6. ---I eat more salt than you eat rice.
——That’s because you are being harsh.
——I have crossed more bridges than you have walked.
——That’s because I don’t want to move.
7. Who can avoid being stabbed in the rivers and lakes? Baituoshan Bone Strengthening Powder has miraculous effects when used internally or externally. After being knifed and smeared with a bag, I still want to be knifed a second time. If I dodge my waist and eat a bag, I will live to be two hundred and not look old. Baituoshan Bone-Strengthening Powder, the powder of youth, the powder of friendship, and the designated nutritional supplement of Huashan Lunjian are sold in all major drug stores and medical centers in this town. When purchasing, please look for the black toad anti-counterfeiting mark!
8. Li Dazui said to Huilan: "It doesn't matter if you are good to me or not, it is really good to be good to everyone!"
9. You are a green dragon on the left and a white tiger on the right. Two hundred and five
10 In order to stay, Shi Niang gave Shopkeeper Tong one hundred taels of silver. Everyone despised Shopkeeper Tong?
Everyone was angry: "I gave you one hundred taels of silver! ”
Shopkeeper Tong: “As soon as I saw the money, I was so confused that I got dizzy... Did I get blinded by the money?”
Everyone: "That's so true!"
Shopkeeper Tong: "..."
Everyone: "Are you ashamed?"
< p>Shopkeeper Tong lowered his head: "Ashamed... (then raised his head and smiled) ashamed, and happy"11
(Fu Rong's Spring Festival Couplets——)
First line: After the Year of the Monkey, it’s the Year of the Rooster
Second line: After the Year of the Rooster, it’s the Year of the Dog
Hengbiao: After one year, it’s a year!
Xiucai: "Then why don't you let me write Spring Festival couplets."
The boss lady: "Your handwriting is too thin and not festive. I will let you write it again on Qingming Festival!" ”
12
Furong: Do you choose the person who likes you, or the person you like?
Lady Boss: What are you looking at?
Furong: You must choose what you like!
Lady boss (sorry): How did you see it?
Furong: Because no one likes you!
13
(Dialogue between Li Dazui and his son)
Li Dazui’s mother: I eat more salt than you eat rice!
Li Dazui: That’s because you are so harsh!
Li Dazui’s mother: I have crossed more bridges than you have walked!
Li Dazui: That’s because I’m too lazy to move!
14
(Fu Rong and Xiucai PK)
Furong: "Suppose I can slap you to death with three palms, and you will scream with each slap. "Xia Xia, spare your life", then I ask you: what words do you want to say before you die?"
Xiucai: "I refuse to answer this question"
Furong: " That counts as an automatic abstention."
Xiucai: "Scream 3 times, 4 words each time."
Fu Rong: "Wrong! 9 words!"
Xiucai: "Why?"
Furong: "The first palm is down, "Woman, spare your life", four words; the second palm is down, " Heroine, please spare your life", eight words; with the third palm, you will die immediately, you only said one word "ah", 8+1=9.
Hahahaha..."
15
Thief God: Are there any thieves like you? After stealing things, you also help others clean up the house
Thief Saint: Then Is it okay if I don’t pack it up?
Thief God: How many days will it take you to send it back?
Thief God: Don’t you want to send it back? Is that okay? Don’t worry about throwing things away!
16
(Lao Bai and Xing Shaotou are acting cool.)
Lao Bai: "Where's your knife? ”
Xing Captou: “There is no knife in my hand, but there is a knife in my heart.” ”
Lao Bai: “Wrong, the highest state is to have no knife in your hand and no knife in your heart.” "
(Then the two got into a stance - rock, paper, scissors!)
Xing Baotou lost and protested: "Didn't you say that there is no knife in your hand and no knife in your heart? ”
Old Bai: “Yes, these are scissors, not a knife!” ”
17
Xiao Guo: Do ??you choose the person who likes you, or the person you like?
Boss Wife: Are you tired of watching?
Xiao Guo: You must choose what you like!
Boss (sorry): Can you tell?
Xiao Guo: Because no one likes you! < /p>
18
The first word is: What can I do to save you? The second word is: My lover
Guo Furong and Xiaoliu: "You and me Just like crows and birds, flying together to make trouble in the world, making trouble in the world! ! "
19
"Okay, Xiao Guo, have you learned how to embroider penguins?"
"That's a mandarin duck!!"
20
One word: medium
Two words: sharp
Three words: mother-in-law
Four words: Oops Yeah
21
Tong: Where are the dumplings?
Guo: Sacrificed together with the stove~!
22
Xiao Guo's Spring Festival Couplets
The first couplet: After the Year of the Monkey, it is the Year of the Rooster
The second couplet: After the Year of the Rooster, it is the Year of the Dog
Horizontal comment: A year’s work is a year!
Xiucai: Then why don’t you let me write Spring Festival couplets?
Boss lady: Your handwriting is too thin and not festive. I’ll let you do it on Qingming Festival. You write!
23
Xiucai: The breeze and the bright moon disturb my heart, caress my heart? scratch my heart? prick my heart?
Shopkeeper Tong: Still It's so powerful to pick at my heart!!!
24
Is this your mother's swordsmanship?
Are you swearing?
No? This is your mother's swordsmanship>>
You still scold me!
If the tiger doesn't show its power, you think I'm HOLLO KITTY
Kang Sang Amida music
My broken boy’s heart
Who is the acting guy? (Then he turned around, intoxicated.) I’m the idol guy. >
Some of these people are crazy, some are scratching to death, some are sour, and some are exhausted. Do you think that if I let the ugly people die, I won’t make people laugh to death
Is that an apple pie or a pineapple pie?
I’m fine, Thirteen Taibao Golden Bell Shield, what I train is my butt...
My best I am so proud of my right hand that I can hold a knife and eat! . . .
No one can stop me (gritting my teeth). I swear
During my career as a thief in Bai Zhantang
I have never been in contact with any woman
(except my mother)
(Your mother can do it)
I have never entered any girl’s boudoir
(Bullshit! How is that possible? The best jewelry is usually hidden in the boudoir)
I am half a pound of scrap metal, he is eight taels of gold
Who said that, you have never studied at all
You open the window and jump headfirst. Go down and you'll reach Naihe Bridge. (Pull the door frame to imitate Xiao Guo.) It's gone.
Then I will give you a message: if you break a tooth, don’t swallow it in your stomach
Rest in peace, my little warrior...
That's a pig's trotter buckle, even a pig can't break it open
Standing in heaven and looking at hell, life is like a melodrama. Standing in hell and looking at heaven, you are working hard and busy for whom~~~
< p>To kneel or not to kneel, that is the question...If you can't find a bird's nest, look for a pig's nest. The quantity is large and the food is full....
My surname is Huang ( wang), grass head yellow (wang)! This yellow (wang) is the yellow (wang) of yellow (wang) beans, and the beans are the beans of yellow (wang) beans. My name together is Huang (wang) beans~~
I only work eight hours a day
If the excess salary is calculated separately
Ten cents per hour and twenty cents after three updates
< p>The holiday salary should be doubledIf there is a double salary at the end of the year
I would be even happier
You are not illiterate, you at least know how to "illiterate" "The word. . .
It hurts, but I don’t blame you... If I lie to you again in the future, even if it’s a white lie, I will be struck by lightning and die!
When I first saw you, you were wearing a red hijab. I thought to myself at the time, this girl must be ugly because her feet are so big. As a result, as soon as you lifted the hijab, I was dumbfounded. You were born with a wifely face, which is beautiful and attractive. Even the bags under your eyes are just right. As soon as you spoke at that time, I couldn't leave because my legs were weak, my back was numb, my palms were all sweaty, and it was difficult for me to say a whole sentence... (Holding Xiangyu's hand) People often say that things last a long time. Love, but I know that I fell in love with you at first sight. I was embarrassed to say this before, but today I said it, but it was too late...
Go out, what are the ladies adding to the conversation? (Next second) Xiangyu, I’ll help you with your waist, pinch your legs, and give you a foot massage