How to improve self-control?

1. Strengthen ideological cultivation. People's self-control depends to a certain extent on their ideological quality. Generally speaking, people with lofty ideals and ambitions will never be emotionally impulsive and behave badly over trivial matters. Therefore, the most fundamental way to improve self-control is to establish a correct outlook on life and the world, and maintain an optimistic and healthy mood.

2. Improve cultural literacy. Generally speaking, a person's cultural quality is directly proportional to his ability to bear and control himself. People with relatively high cultural quality are often able to understand things more comprehensively and correctly, understand the relationship between themselves and others, and consciously exercise self-control and self-improvement.

3. Stabilize your emotions. Use methods such as reasonable venting, attention transfer, and environment relocation to vent and release the emotions that will trigger impulses, maintain emotional stability, and avoid impulses.

4. Strengthen self-awareness. When encountering problems, you should be calm and calm, use your own brain, eliminate external interference or hints, and learn to make independent decisions. We must completely get rid of the mentality of relying on others, overcome inferiority complex, and cultivate self-confidence and independence.

5. Strengthen practical training. On the one hand, we must strengthen learning, accumulate knowledge, broaden our horizons, arm and enrich ourselves with knowledge, improve our ability to analyze and solve problems, and expand our ability to make decisions by learning from other people's experiences; on the other hand, we must actively devote ourselves to Go to the practice of military life, train hard, continuously enrich your experience, and improve your adaptability.

6. Strengthen your willpower. To cultivate the good quality of independence of will in your own character. You must have a high degree of awareness of your goals. As long as you identify something through your own practice, you should go on without hesitation and find ways to achieve the desired goal. You don’t have to pursue perfection in everything, you don’t have to be demanding that you don’t fail at all, and you don’t have to pay too much attention to what others say about you.

7. Adjust the required structure. When needs cannot be met at the same time, suppress some impossible needs. As the ancients said: "I want fish, and I want bear's paws. I can't have both. I give up fish and take bear's paws."

8. Strengthen positive thinking. As the saying goes: "Everything will be successful if it is forewarned, and it will be ruined if it is not forewarned." Pay attention to thinking about problems frequently and enhance your foresight, so that you can make timely, decisive and accurate choices at critical moments.

How to enhance self-control?

I think we should do some "hardening the rules" while strengthening the legal system and ethics.

The "Law of Discipline" is vital to developing the quality of self-denial. For example, when Edmund Hillary, the first New Zealander to successfully conquer Mount Everest, was asked how he conquered the world’s highest peak, Hillary replied: “What I really conquered was not a mountain, but me. This kind of excellent quality is called willpower, self-control or self-discipline. In fact, you can start by doing something you don’t like or think you can’t do every day. "Under the influence of ", you can develop stronger willpower, self-control, etc."

You also know that only through practice can you truly gain self-control. Only by relying on inertia and repeated self-control training can our nerves be completely controlled. From the perspective of repeated efforts and repeated training of will, the cultivation of self-control is to a large extent the formation of a habit. ”

The most effective, convenient and practical advice I can give you is to jog 5 kilometers every morning. No matter it is cold or hot, windy or rainy, you must persist. This is true for every minute in bed in the morning. It makes people cherish it, especially in the winter when you stay in bed and have a fierce ideological struggle to get up. Moreover, long-distance running is hard and boring, and it also makes people suffer from back pain. It is really a hard job, so in the process you can To be tempered, from the new to the annoying to the painful to the hopeless, you can think of Mark Twain’s words to explain how to achieve self-restraint: “The key is to do something every day that is not in your heart. Don't do things you don't want to do, so that you won't feel the pain of the obligations that really need you to complete. This is the golden rule for developing conscious habits. "As long as you persist, running will gradually become easier as your physical condition gradually improves, and the chore of running no longer seems so scary. Although getting up early is still a bit difficult and strenuous, it seems that it can be overcome. Everything became easier and more natural, and eventually it became a habit and a part of daily behavior. Without forcing myself, running every morning became a natural habit. "Tempering", so that your self-discipline, determination, will, commitment, efficiency, self-confidence, and self-esteem can be exercised and improved.

You can choose to run long-distance every morning to help you develop a high degree of self-control. Also There are a variety of physical activities to choose from. No matter what you choose, it must be a chore that you must force yourself to complete. Secondly, it must be something you can do every day. A chore should, of course, also be something beneficial (e.g., physical exercise contributes to physical health, improves physical performance, increases self-confidence, improves cognitive abilities, etc.)

) You can choose from a variety of chores like running, bodybuilding, swimming, cycling, walking, aerobics, yoga, martial arts and more. There are countless physical exercise options, but that does not mean that the drudgery options available are limited to physical exercise. The same goes for practicing an instrument, reading or writing consistently, corresponding with friends or writing emails, etc. The choice of the chore itself is not important, persistence is the key. Persisting in doing something you don't really like every day will eventually help you gain self-discipline, perseverance, keep your promises, and enhance your self-control.

Self-control also plays an important role in improving physical and mental health. People who cannot control their emotions and behaviors will not have a healthy body and a healthy mind. Here are six ways to improve your self-control. ?

1. Diversion of attention method?

That is, when you receive a bad stimulus, you can think of something or do something else first. For example, the famous Russian writer Turgenev advised people to turn their tongue 10 times in their mouth when a quarrel is about to occur. ?

2. Psychological suggestion method?

For example, Lin Zexu used the banner "Controlling Anger" to control himself, and Su Shi encouraged himself with the words "endure small anger and pursue big plans" in order to make himself Maintain a good mood when encountering negative stimuli. ?

3. How to avoid stimulation?

When encountering stimulation that may cause you to lose your self-control, you should try your best to avoid it. If someone next door scolds me, I will not listen attentively, but go out for a walk. This avoids conflicts caused by anger. ?

4. Reasonable way to vent?

Some people use listening to music and painting to vent their emotions when their emotions fluctuate.

5? Positive compensation method?

That is to use the powerful motivation generated by anger and passion, find a job you like and work hard, or study hard, or study hard at the desk, so as to make the negative Emotions are used positively. ?

6. Do the opposite?

That is to do the things you don’t want to do first, that is, to deliberately make things difficult for yourself. ?

Self-control is a kind of willpower, a manifestation of self-esteem, self-love, and self-respect. It enables us to choose the best plan for our behavior, smoothly pass through forks in the road, and always follow the right direction. go ahead.

How to cultivate self-control among middle school students

Self-control is the ability to exercise self-restraint. The quality of a person's restraint ability can determine a person's psychological taste, health status, and level of intelligence.

Although people's self-control is innate, acquired influence, education, and self-cultivation are more important. The cultivation of self-control, like the cultivation of other abilities, should be done as early as possible.

The cultivation of self-control can be carried out through four links: guidance, induction, practice, and reinforcement. They are inseparable and integrated.

1. Guidance

The purpose of guidance is to avoid and eliminate the incentives for students to be impulsive and cause trouble due to emotional out-of-control. This method is especially important for the following students.

(1) Congenital low self-control

It is difficult to cultivate the self-control of such students. It is time-consuming and slow to produce results. The methods of counseling are:

A. The love-melting method is to use the love of teachers and classmates to melt the hard "pimples" of these students. Teachers should care about their studies, their bodies, lives, and their interpersonal relationships; they should talk to them more and ask about their welfare. At the same time, they should educate other students to get close to them, understand them, and study and play with them so that they do not have or Less students are "hot".

B. Target-shifting method of venting, that is, when they lose their temper, the teacher skillfully diverts their anger to avoid collision or harm. The teacher can comfort them first, then delay them and then relieve them.

C. Exercise to eliminate Qi, that is, using physical exercise to release the accumulated heat in the human body and consume excess energy, which plays a good role in fitness and mental training. It has been observed that people will feel calmer within three days after experiencing a strenuous physical activity.

D. Diet selection method, that is, choosing certain foods, such as cigarettes, alcohol, and chili peppers, can increase people's blood pressure, accelerate heartbeat, and make people excited, which also reduces self-control. Therefore, they should not eat or eat less. It's better to stick to it.

(2) Endocrine disorder type

Counseling for this type of students has many similarities and differences with students with congenitally weak self-control, mainly:

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A. It should be combined with drug treatment or psychological treatment;

B. It is more important to show love to students who have lost their loved ones and comfort them more.

C. Games or entertainment. If they are primary school children, let them (even better with a teacher) play games such as hide-and-seek, blind man and elephant.

D. It is necessary to carry out adolescent health education, sex education, and improve unity between boys and girls.

(3) Other types

1. Only child syndrome

This type of students generally has the following characteristics: bossy, willful, stubborn, and too high self-esteem. Strong, too strong self-awareness, overconfidence, poor self-care ability, inability to endure hardship, etc.

To cultivate the self-control of such students, we must first combine family education and obtain family support. Therefore, it is necessary to visit multiple families and hold parent training classes. If possible, let students live in schools and live a collective life, allowing students to manage themselves and educate themselves; secondly, educate them to establish ambitious goals early and pursue them hard; thirdly, conduct setback training to let them Withstand difficulties and setbacks; the fourth is to carry out legal education and moral education.

2. Patron effect, self-superior radiation type

The patron effect type means that the parents or other relatives of the students have become cadres or have honors or are "Golden Gods", and the students therefore As a result, they become complacent and arrogant. Most of them are fearless, do not accept the teacher's discipline, do not study hard, and get angry at the slightest criticism.

The first step in educating such students is to provide legal education and moral education; the second step is to invite people with status and prestige to assist in education; the third step is to eliminate their own sense of superiority and advise parents Limit their unreasonable demands and pay attention to the types of friends they have. If they are criticized and punished, parents should help and do not protect them.

The radiation type of self-superiority is the idea that students are superior to others due to their superior appearance, body shape, voice quality, intelligence, talents, etc. They are self-righteous, arrogant, unable to listen to objections, and are jealous. Some even play pranks to play tricks on others so as to find fault with the teacher.

The method of channeling is to make the best use of the situation, shoulder more burdens, and make more contributions. Confucius' words and deeds such as "amongst three people must have my teacher", "sages are impermanent teachers", "sensitive and eager to learn, and not ashamed to ask questions" are very good teaching materials for this kind of students. In short, we should encourage them to bring out their advantages and use them in a righteous way, so as to achieve success as soon as possible.

3. Competition syndrome

Reasonable competition can destroy people's progress, but its side effects should also attract our attention. Various school competitions, various competitive examinations, daily examination rankings, and the pressure of entrance examinations will cause students to have varying degrees of fear, causing internal pressure, tension, irritability, and sometimes even a sense of loss for some students.

The method of guidance is: pay attention to students’ emotions before and after each competition and arrange breaks reasonably. Those students whose grades are not as good as expected should be comforted and enlightened in a timely manner; those who are winners should be advised not to be too excited to ensure that students are mentally relaxed and balanced.

In addition, school beautification, purification, and greening are also important aspects of education and should be paid attention to.

2. Induction

The purpose of induction is to enable students to understand the role of self-control, to abandon bad emotions, and to actively and consciously cultivate self-control.

(1) Teachers set an example

Most students have the habit of imitating the teachers they admire. Therefore, teachers should have an elegant and generous manner, and the courage to deal with situations without panic. The demeanor of not being angry gives students something to learn from and gradually develops the ability to control themselves.

(2) Use famous quotes to guide students

Quite a number of famous quotes, mottos, aphorisms, proverbs, epigrams, etc. are meant to advise people to cultivate their moral character. If used properly, they can become the pursuit of students. Signposts on the road to perfecting psychological quality. Teachers can write these famous quotes and mottos into slogans as school mottos or ask students to copy them as mottos so that they can always refer to them and practice.

(3) Infecting students with stories

There are many stories in the world about how softness is used to control toughness, disasters are eliminated through tolerance, and death is caused by violence. Their effects and influences are subtle.

(4) Set an example

All politicians and educators attach great importance to the role of role models, and those engaged in psychological education regard it as a stimulant and a tonic. Teachers should be good at observation and understanding, and set students with strong self-control as role models, so that other students can hear and see what they have learned, and imitate their behavior and thoughts. At the same time, they can also react on the students who set role models.

The methods of induction have been discussed above. As long as the teacher induces correctly, students' interest will be aroused and practice will be much less labor-intensive.

3. Exercise

The purpose of the exercise is to guide students to learn to be generous to others and to maintain a balanced mentality at all times. Methods of practicing self-control can be divided into two broad categories: direct and indirect.

(1) Direct

1. Hold a debate. The content of the debate can be political, class-related, or intellectual. The method is that the teacher or class leader first raises questions for the students to argue. Those who commit problems such as talking over others, being rude, using strong words, and sarcasm others will be deducted as appropriate. Points will also be deducted for those who do not speak;

2 .Provocation method. Teachers should pay attention to "spreading right from wrong" and "confusing right and wrong", and see how students correct the teacher. Teachers can measure "qi" and score.

(2) Indirect method

There are many methods of indirect practice, which have been covered in the "Guidance" section, such as frustration training, hide-and-seek, sports, etc. Of course There are many other ways.

No matter which practice method is used, the teacher should explain its meaning and method, and then give a grade.

4. Reinforcement

The purpose of reinforcement is to enable students to maintain the sentiments they have developed and form habits.

In order to strengthen students' self-control, we must try to make students learn to regulate themselves, educate themselves, and educate students to understand their own emotional cycles. Sometimes the criminal cases of some criminals can be used as negative education to educate students.

The means of strengthening can be through inspection, evaluation, and calling on students to supervise each other. Those who are outstanding must be praised and rewarded, and those who are not good must be patiently guided and educated until they change.

The cultivation and improvement of students' self-control will benefit students throughout their lives, but this is a very complex psychological quality education. It is difficult to say which method is most suitable for a certain situation. Only by relying on teachers to deeply understand students , understand students, continue to explore and summarize, in order to achieve better results.

How to develop self-control

The famous ancient Greek speaker Demosphon was unable to defeat his opponents because of his stutter. But he was not overcome by the feeling of defeat that this fatal weakness brought. He persisted in running to the seaside or climbing mountains every day, holding small stones under his tongue and speaking loudly. After hard practice, he finally became a great speaker. Therefore, if you have a weakness of fear of embarrassment, go to places that make you embarrassed to exercise.

The famous ancient Greek orator Demosphon was unable to defeat his opponents because of his stutter. But he was not overcome by the feeling of defeat that this fatal weakness brought. He persisted in running to the seaside or climbing mountains every day, holding small stones under his tongue and speaking loudly. After hard practice, he finally became a great speaker. Therefore, if you have a weakness of fear of embarrassment, go to places that make you embarrassed to exercise.

We must overcome our own psychological weaknesses and defeat ourselves in order to achieve the expected success in our activities and maintain physical and mental health, which requires self-control. Self-control includes two aspects: self-motivation to improve the efficiency of activities; overcoming weaknesses and negative emotions to achieve the purpose of activities.

How to develop self-control?

First, we must improve our cognitive level and correct our motivations. According to research by domestic and foreign psychologists, the most significant psychological characteristic of many criminals (especially teenagers) is their lack of self-control. On the contrary, those people with lofty ideals in history were able to self-denial and serve the public, were not afraid of danger, regarded death as home, and showed a high degree of self-control. This shows that cognitive level and motivation level will affect a person's self-control. So, how do cognition and motivation affect self-control? For example, the first time you go to the podium, the first time you give a report, the first time you participate in a battle... If what you think about is: "If I make a mistake in my speech, how will people laugh at me..." .." Or: "If you are hit by a bullet as soon as you go into battle, then there is no need to talk about meritorious service and receiving awards..." etc. The underlying motivation is how to express yourself and how to obtain personal honor. In this way, The ensuing negative emotions will destroy you and make you lose self-control. On the contrary, if what you are thinking is: I can’t mislead students, I must teach well in class; or: I give a report, just to summarize everyone’s experience and communicate; or: I fight for justice. . The underlying motivation is noble, positive, and optimistic, so that you will be less affected by negative emotions. Therefore, it is very important to correctly understand oneself and the meaning of actions to cultivate self-control.

Second, cultivating self-control must be targeted. That is to say, you need to train based on your certain weaknesses and certain negative psychological activities in certain actions. To develop self-control, you should first dissect yourself and find out the mistakes you often make in those activities, then choose appropriate training methods and correct them in actual activities through training. Here is a brief introduction to several practical training methods:

1. If you often fail in a certain activity due to your own psychological reasons, you can choose confrontation training methods. That is, repeatedly putting yourself in (or imagining being put in) situations that have failed you, to train yourself and overcome your weaknesses. This kind of training includes two methods:

① Put yourself in specific situations. According to Soviet psychologist K.H. Kornilov: "To be resolute, you must have the courage to hunt wild beasts and cross rapids. If you feel dizzy, go to the mountains for training." Or as Fu.I. Selifanov said: You should "To bear with composure a vaccination or a prick, to take out a thorn; to be without fear in a field or forest far from one's house on a dark night: ... to endure pain bravely when sick, burned, or wounded." ..... When there is a strong storm, you will not be panicked in the forest or on a boat... you will not be helpless when encountering wolves or other wild beasts; you will not be afraid to save a drowning person with your own life; Not panicking in case of fire, etc. "This is an old but effective training method. If you are timid, go to places that scare you and be tested.

② Put yourself in a specific environment in your imagination (i.e. simulation training). When you fail in an activity, you can recreate the specific aspects of the past activity in your imagination, find out the reasons for the failure, and then imagine starting a new activity, correct the past mistakes in your imagination, and eliminate all possibilities. Surprises and difficulties in order to achieve success, and let the experience of success rule you.

Or when you are about to engage in another important activity, you can simulate the entire process of this activity in your imagination and keep the successful experience going. Through this kind of training, you can obtain a complete set of activity patterns in your imagination, and you can also enhance your confidence in winning.

2. Loss of self-control or weakened self-control often occur in stressful physiological and psychological states. Therefore, through relaxation training, learning to eliminate tension can improve self-control. Tension is accompanied by processes such as muscle tension, shortness of breath, and accelerated heartbeat. Relaxation training can consciously control these processes and obtain physiological feedback information, thereby controlling and regulating one's entire psychological state. Relaxation training mainly includes the following methods:

① Breathing training. When people are angry, excited, or panicked, they are often not aware of their rapid breathing, or even difficulty in breathing. Because of this, they increase their tension. For example, some people's voices tremble and sound hoarse when they are nervous, because the smooth muscles of the bronchial wall spasm. This will make them more uneasy and even make them lose control. Therefore, before engaging in activities that are expected to cause tension, do some breathing relaxation training to keep your breathing at a calm and soothing rhythm. Methods include: a. Stand or sit quietly, relax the whole body, and take deep breaths; b. Walk slowly and take a deep breath; wait.

②Muscle relaxation training. Muscle relaxation training can eliminate fatigue, overcome tension, and even treat certain medical conditions. Regular or on-the-spot relaxation training can help us learn self-control and become calm and calm.

③ Qigong leads to tranquility. Get rid of all distracting thoughts and keep your heart absolutely quiet. The method is to focus all your attention on the Dantian point (three inches below the belly button). Conducting this kind of training on the spot, or after being stressed, has significant effects.

In addition, a person's thoughts (thoughts, beliefs, self-monitoring, conscious words, etc.) can control and regulate a person's psychological state. Self-control is largely reflected in the control of thoughts. The role of thought control is to promote one's own positive actions. There are two methods of training in this area.

①Autosuggestion. The function of positive self-suggestion is to gain confidence in oneself and thereby improve self-control. However, negative self-suggestion does just the opposite. Autosuggestion is best performed in a state of sleepiness but not sleepiness. Before you engage in stressful activities, put yourself into a quiet, comfortable, drowsy state of relaxation, and then repeat some words silently to build confidence and give people strength. It will not be ineffective.

②Self-motivation. No matter what you do, it all depends on your consciousness. Self-consciousness often refers to gaining a motivation to take positive actions. How can you gain motivation to take positive action? You must learn to motivate yourself. Self-motivation means setting tasks for yourself, self-rewarding means setting tasks for yourself, giving yourself rewards and punishments, ordering yourself, and being your own commander and commander. Ways of self-motivation include:

a. Make practical plans, arrange things that must be done and things that can be done or not done, and then set rewards and punishments for yourself.

b. Write a motto and encourage yourself all the time.

c. Keep a diary often and conduct self-monitoring in the diary.

d. Verbal orders. Whenever you encounter difficulties or face a crisis, you must learn to direct yourself. Through verbal commands, you can organize your own psychological activities and gain spiritual power.

You might as well train, it will definitely be beneficial.

Strive to cultivate self-control

Strive to cultivate self-control

There is a common saying in the military: "outflank". It means not attacking frontally, but attacking from the side in order to achieve the goal. In the journey of life, in order to achieve your goals, you may have to do some things you don't want to do, and give up some things you are deeply obsessed with, so you feel a certain amount of "restraint". However, for the sake of life and goals, we cannot try to get rid of all "restraints", but should move forward steadily along the established goals step by step under the guidance of "restraints".

Topic

If a person who wants to achieve something lacks self-control, it is like a car losing its steering wheel and brakes. It will inevitably "deviate" and "go out of line", or even "overturn" ".

Father’s teachings

Controlling oneself is not a very easy thing, because there is always a struggle between reason and emotion in each of us. "Doing what makes you happy", or adopting a devil-may-care attitude is not true freedom. You should have the ability to overcome your own emotions and control your own destiny. If you let your emotions control your actions, you will become a slave to your emotions.

If you plan to do something today, can you leave your warm nest and get out of bed without hesitation? If you are going to travel far but are weak, should you cancel your travel plan? If you If you encounter insurmountable difficulties in something you are doing, should you continue doing it, or should you stop and wait? For questions like this, if you answer them on paper, the answers will be clear at a glance, but when you are in it, go and see for yourself When you question yourself, I'm afraid you won't answer so simply.

The fact we see is that so many people are intimidated once they encounter difficulties in life and work. It's not that they can't answer these questions simply, but it's difficult for them to control themselves mentally.

Self-control means overcoming desires. Self-control is not only about restraining desires in material terms, but more importantly, it is about spiritual self-control.

So how does a person develop self-control?

(1) Master your own thoughts. Without the precursor of consciousness, it is impossible for people to have specific behaviors. To control your thoughts, you must understand what you want and what you cannot want. This is a matter of awareness. Then figure out how to refuse what you can't do and force yourself to do what you should do. This is a matter of method. Finally, consider what will happen if you do it, and what will happen if you don't do it. This is the prerequisite for building perseverance, and it is the transition from controlling thoughts to controlling behavior.

(2) Control objectives. Goals are the core of thought and the guide to action.

Controlling goals is an important way to achieve success. To control goals, we must set goals. Goals include long-term, medium-term, and short-term goals. By balancing medium and long-term goals with short-term goals, you will know what to do and you will be busy and not confused.

(3) Control time. People live in space and time, space accommodates people, and time changes people. Many people don't do things well because they don't use their time well.

You should make a comprehensive arrangement for what you plan to do based on your personal situation. This is not an easy task. People often don’t understand not only what they want to do, but also when and how long it will take to do something. If you fully integrate many things and limited time, and get things done and time is not wasted, you can choose time to work, play, and rest. When we can control time, we can change everything about ourselves.

In daily life, always remind yourself to be self-disciplined and consciously cultivate a spirit of self-discipline. For example, if you set a time limit for a certain shortcoming or bad habit in your own personality and focus on correcting it, the effect will be better.

Never indulge yourself and make excuses for yourself. Be strict with yourself. Over time, self-discipline will become a habit and a way of life, and your personality and wisdom will become more perfect as a result.