1 Even kindergarten children know how to reciprocate and help each other. Play house games. If you can play, you will talk and laugh. If you can't play with them, you also know to learn slowly and make friends while playing.
Some people who are judged to be ignorant of the way of the world, except for personality reasons, are just too disdainful of accommodating other people's preferences, too disdainful of engaging in ineffective social activities, too lazy to be tactful and hypocritical, too lazy to play superfluous tricks, too flattering and too far-fetched. So I'm too lazy to beat around the bush. Just say a few words if you are in a good mood. I don't want to talk to anyone if I'm not in the mood.
Are those loners really unsophisticated in reality? In fact, "independence" is also layered. Some people always say the wrong things and do wrong things because of problems in interpersonal communication and lack of good emotional ability, which brings them a series of troubles.
These people probably grew up in an environment lacking love. Their feelings from childhood to adulthood are easily ignored by people around them, and the emotions they want to express cannot be reasonably vented, so they bury all their emotions in their hearts and don't tell outsiders. Because they can't get love, they gradually lose the ability to love. When they were growing up, no one told them how to spread love. Therefore, if they can't stay in a place where they feel safe, most of them will appear indifferent or competitive everywhere.
It is better to block yourself up than to hurt yourself in interpersonal relationships. Even if you barely integrate into the crowd, you will not get the attention and respect you deserve. Instead of waiting for the fate of being abandoned by the group, it is better to take the initiative to leave the group and be proud alone.
There is also a kind of person who likes to be alone from the heart. Social psychology believes that people need to integrate into the group at the expense of their own personality. Although groups can satisfy individuals' sense of belonging. But after all, the group is based on the same goal. Once someone stands out from the crowd, they will be attacked and rejected by the group.
Although groups can improve everyone's efficiency and speed up decision-making, they will all make tentative decisions in a riskier direction. Because the risk of a person making a decision is always far greater than that of a group making the same decision, this is the principle of decentralized responsibility of the group. Under the influence of the group, even timid and cautious people will listen to the decision of the group and move forward in the direction of the group together. The closer you are, the more intimate you can prove. Especially in modern society, individual's self-consciousness is more independent, and everyone knows how important independent space is.
Some people just live in groups because they can't help feeling lonely inside. They don't understand what they really want at all, so they have to go with the flow to ease their uneasy hearts. Instead of forcing yourself to enter the group sought after by the world, it is better to get out, which is also a way of dealing with people. Whether you like group life or you are a lone ranger, as long as you don't go against your heart, it is a respectable lifestyle.
Everyone has his own interests, and everyone's lifestyle and preferences are different. Everyone's personality is hard to change. As long as you think you are doing well, you don't have to care about other people's eyes. Everyone's personality is different, and everyone can't like it. As long as you are willing to obey nature.
There is a colleague in our department who seems to be out of place with us.
No matter what we talk about at work, he never takes part. I am alone every time, staring at the computer screen and doing my own thing.
Although we occasionally make fun of him, he always goes his own way as if he didn't hear him.
After a long time, we are used to this mode of getting along, so I won't say much. After all, everyone is here to work to make money, as long as they can do their jobs well.
However, a chance encounter surprised us.
When I passed the door of the sales department, I saw him chatting with a business person, and his face was full of smiles. This is very different from what he looks like when he is with us at ordinary times.
Only after that did we know that it was not that he was not good at expressing words, but that he just felt that he had nothing to say to us.
Some people are withdrawn and ignorant of the world, but it doesn't matter. He probably just likes being alone.
But it is also possible that he is just habitually alone in front of a group of people.
People are multifaceted. When you get along, you may see different faces, but it is difficult to get to know each face in depth.
A loner has his own reasons. He may not be ignorant of the world, but there are two kinds of people.
One is arrogant, thinking that you can do anything, and others can't do anything. I don't know if you look down on others, and others may not respect you. I have a friend who is a retired college student, lives in a villa and drives a rickshaw. It turned out that I was poor in his imagination, so I often contacted him because I was a fellow villager. Later, he felt that I was not as poor and stupid as he thought, so he gradually alienated me and didn't contact me for several years. I don't send back a WeChat condolence for outdated festivals.
Second, I have a strange personality. I don't associate with anyone, I don't study, I don't make progress, I stand still, and I am the best in the world. It seems that without him, the earth won't turn around, I bully people at home, and my family ignores him. He doesn't know the simple truth that a threesome must have a teacher.
So, don't provoke unsociable people, lest you get burned.