This sentence speaks for many women. This little girl who has never been married for more than 20 years is loved by thousands of people in her family. This woman is a princess.
I met a man I love. On the wedding day, the woman is the bride of hearts, wearing white gauze and accepting the most sincere oath from the man. That woman was the Supreme Queen of the Ninth Five-Year Plan that day;
Once pregnant, there is the crystallization of love, the mother's dependence on her children. In the ten months of pregnancy, the woman is an extremely negligent lady;
After experiencing glory, a woman's life is like the sun that is about to return to the west, and it is gradually dim. Family responsibilities, wife's obligations, and various factors make women come into reality from princesses, queens and empresses, deprived of their titles and demoted as "Shu Ren".
Many women are convinced of this view and think that life is short, so they pay special attention to the sense of ceremony and must seize every opportunity to make a splash and prove their value.
They are more worried about being swayed by considerations of gain and loss. They worry that if there is no scenery these days, what is the meaning of life?
Therefore, whether married or pregnant, women attach great importance to the attitudes of their in-laws and men, hoping to see each other's respect for themselves, peep at their in-laws' attitudes and leave a beautiful moment in their lives.
There is nothing wrong with women thinking this way. On the most important day of life, it is every woman's lifelong dream to want scenery and become the protagonist of one day's life.
But the extremes meet, and it is precisely because of this that sometimes women are too obsessed with the sense of ceremony, only know how to consider their own feelings, only care about the gains and losses of immediate interests, and ignore the overall situation, but ignore more important things. This is a foolish behavior of penny wise and pound foolish.
Why do you say that? In the final analysis, women just want to prove that they are happy, to prove that they are married decently, and to prove that their life is complete. But if they are getting farther and farther away from happiness because of a sense of ceremony and some rigid rules, what is this not stupidity?
Happiness is not proved by those rituals. People are dead, rules are alive, and more importantly, some established rules are wrong and have no special significance. Paying too much attention to the unchangeable result often ends in tragedy.
Not everyone has a chance to start over, and there is no regret medicine to sell in the world. When you suddenly wake up, you may only spend the rest of your life paying for your mistakes, and you will never miss happiness.
I actually wrote this article because I recently heard something from my colleague Han Xiao. A woman proved her "death" by action. It was obviously a big day, which should have been the happiest day in a woman's life. However, it's really a pity that all this was destroyed by this woman herself.
David, Han Xiao's heterosexual friend, got married in his hometown yesterday. According to Han Xiao, they are friends with open pants, not covers. The two have been neighbors since childhood. David is two years older than Xiaohan. When I was young, Xiao Han always played behind David, and David always played the role of the big brother next door, showing a good impression on this little sister, which can be regarded as childhood friends.
But childhood playmates rarely have the same feelings as adults, because childhood feelings are the most sincere, without any other realistic factors. They play with mud all day, regardless of the future. When they are hungry, they go home to find their mother and never have any worries.
However, such an era of childlike innocence has long passed. David's family is poor, his mother is a housewife with children, his sister is four years older than him, and his father is an old artist who repairs bicycles. Although I didn't earn much in those days, I was still hungry, so life was like this.
David's sister has excellent grades, but David has always been the worst in the class. Although she works hard, she may have limited talent and can only do so much. Her parents have beaten and scolded, so have the people who should be spurred, and they have let themselves go.
Nearly ten years ago, David's father died suddenly in a car accident, which made the poor family worse. David grew up overnight in his mother's grief and his sister's helplessness, and resolutely shouldered the burden of his family. After his father's funeral, he immediately asked his mother to contact his uncle who opened a factory in other places, packed some luggage and went to other places, which lasted for several years.
David seldom comes back except to send money home and major festivals. A few years ago, David's widow was demolished. In order to earn more money for her son, she twisted herself into a nail house. It was the first time Xiao Han saw David after many years. I saw this boy in his twenties with gleaming white hair on his head, which made people almost afraid to recognize him.
That is, last month, Han Xiao accidentally received a phone call from other places. She was afraid to answer the phone at first, but the phone rang for a long time and didn't hang up. Han Xiao picked up the phone and it was David.
David happily told Xiaohan that he was getting married and invited Xiaohan to attend his wedding. I haven't talked for many years, but the two chatted for a while and talked about David's family in recent years.
David's sister was admitted to a good university with excellent results. After graduation, she found a good job and stayed in the field to develop well. David has had a good life in recent years. After his father died, David learned a trade from his uncle in other places, and later went out to open a factory himself. Now he's really getting ahead.
Two years ago, David met a girl from other places, Reiko Kobayakawa. Reiko Kobayakawa's family conditions are also very general. There is a brother above and a younger brother at school below. She also went out to work alone, and almost all the money she earned was sent home except for some living expenses for herself.
David saw his own shadow in Reiko Kobayakawa, sympathizing with the girl, so he often helped Reiko Kobayakawa, so Ling He brought her closer. In this process, the feelings of both sides have changed. David confessed to Reiko Kobayakawa, and Reiko Kobayakawa accepted it gladly. At this point, the two really came together.
This year, the two finally decided to get married. Reiko Kobayakawa's home is very remote. In order to go to my father's in-laws, David specially spent 60,000 yuan to buy a car and made his first visit with big bags of gifts. I thought that the families on both sides were similar, and the old father-in-law would not be more embarrassed. But what I didn't expect was that the old father-in-law would ask for160 thousand, which really surprised David.
David's conditions are much better than before Over the years, he has saved some books of his wife, plus the compensation his mother won for him. Although I can afford it, I still have to buy a house to live in. David can't help thinking about this.
He told his father-in-law that David would never marry his daughter unless he lowered the standard by 10 thousand. David hoped that Reiko Kobayakawa could intercede for himself, but Reiko Kobayakawa was also embarrassed. She said there was nothing she could do about money, which was what her father said, so it was not her turn to speak.
In a dilemma, David finally gave his father-in-law a bride price of150,000, which decided the marriage. But David loves Reiko Kobayakawa. Even if Reiko Kobayakawa's father, the lion, opened his mouth worse than Reiko Kobayakawa's, David would not hate Reiko Kobayakawa for it, and he was looking forward to a new life.
At this time, David called Han Xiao, hoping that she could come to his wedding. Han Xiao also happily accepted the invitation. On the same day, Han Xiao deliberately asked for leave to go back to his hometown to build momentum for his old friends. He was very happy to come, but Han Xiao found that David looked pale. He is just standing far away from the bride, which is not what a groom should look like, and the bride's face is no better than David's.
Then it is time to bow to his parents. The accident happened when David's mother was sitting in front of the hall, waiting to accept the bow of his new wife and son.
Two people wearing wedding dresses should have knelt down together, but when David knelt down, Reiko Kobayakawa next to him was stiff, with a smelly face and nodded, even if it was a ceremony. Seeing this scene, relatives and friends around him also felt the awkward and cold atmosphere. No one dared to say a word, but David spoke at this time.
"Reiko Kobayakawa, don't lose your temper. Almost enough. Come and worship our mother at once, and it will be over. If you have anything to say, let's talk about it at home, okay? "
Reiko Kobayakawa, who has always been very gentle, said nothing at this time, and began to choke with David's words.
"What do you mean I lost my temper? What do you mean almost? What do you mean by our mother? You are really interesting. I made it very clear to you just now that the change fee of 30 thousand yuan can not be less than a penny. This is our rule here. Talent is a change in form. Otherwise, why should I change my mind and kneel to a strange old woman? Your family doesn't respect me. What should I do if I marry your family? "
After listening to Reiko Kobayakawa, David was obviously angry. He was very angry: "I ask you again, do you kneel?"
Reiko Kobayakawa was adamant: "I won't give you a change of confession fee, and I want to bow down to your mother. I will be in place when the money is in place, otherwise I will dream! "
David stood up and immediately knocked down Reiko Kobayakawa, forcing her to bow to her mother.
"Give you face? You didn't tell me to change the fee until your wedding day. Where can I get it for you? Even if there is, I won't give it. Now my head is smashed. Go home if you don't like it. You are really in the money eye. Such a daughter-in-law need not worry. Go find someone who can give you 30 thousand yuan to change your mouth! "
The farce happened in front of people, but everyone froze until Reiko Kobayakawa shouted and everyone woke up.
"David, I am for the sake of the thirty thousand dollars? I just hope your family can respect my new wife. My parents said the money was necessary. This is the sincerity of your family. Why don't I want to marry you? You can't do this to me, or I can't live! "
David just replied faintly, "You should have known" and turned away. His mother has been pulling him, but David has made up his mind. He announced the cancellation of the wedding on the spot and asked the maid of honor to take Reiko Kobayakawa away, but Reiko Kobayakawa had been sitting on the ground, crying and refusing to leave.
Do you think David did the right thing? In love, it sounds cool, but in fact, David's actions are too rude, his words are too excited, and he suddenly doesn't get married. It also makes people feel too hasty, and it is really not right.
Li Yu, David did something wrong, but Reiko Kobayakawa did something right? She wants 30 thousand yuan to change her mind. This is not 3000 yuan, nor is it 300 yuan. No matter who it is, this inexplicable expense may be unacceptable and may not be better than David's.
Besides, she just mentioned the expenses suddenly on the same day, which made people unprepared and made them doubt the character of Reiko Kobayakawa's family. Sometimes these weddings start with money, but it's not really about money at all. Attitude is the key.
On that day, Reiko Kobayakawa suddenly asked for a very high fee for changing the confession, which was an unreasonable request, but David couldn't take the money at the moment and didn't want to take it, just wanted to argue.
Maybe Reiko Kobayakawa did it not for money, but for decency and to meet the needs of the ceremony. But Reiko Kobayakawa simply ignored the scene, made a face on the spot, quarreled deliberately to express his dissatisfaction, or tried to bully the man's family into submission, but he was stupid enough to get angry because of which one.
You know, all you want is a decent marriage, a face for your mother-in-law's parents, but this can't be proved by the fact that the man's family gave this change fee. It's really stupid to test a man with this incompetence. Like David said, you should know.
When you do this, you should report the worst, not vent your emotions without restraint. This will only put you in a passive and dangerous position, and your marriage will break up if you are not careful.
Even if the man agrees to your request, your life will be affected by the unreasonable behavior that day, and the influence of the man and his family will be greatly reduced, and your marriage life may be difficult. These problems are much more difficult than the original value of 30,000 Yuan You, and you may be ruined all your life.
There is nothing wrong with women wanting a sense of ceremony, but if they pay too much attention to it and lose their marriage and the man who loves you, what's the use of wanting it? It is better to give in at the beginning, get married and live a good life. There are still many good days in the future, but if you are too persistent, you may only have endless regrets waiting for women.