As soon as I heard the beginning, I smelled a particularly familiar smell. Isn’t this the workplace version of PUA?

So I consulted with a senior workplace tester, and found out that they constantly deny employees’ personal abilities, and also use personal attacks and anxiety-creating methods to make employees feel that they are useless and have no way to find a better job. Work, so they can only provide new work like social animals. I found that this situation is actually very common in the workplace, and most people suffer from it without being aware of it. So today I want to share with you the manifestations of PUA in the workplace.

1. Continuously denying personal abilities

My friend’s example is this type of personal attack. A Zhihu netizen once shared a story. One of his colleagues suffered from depression after being humiliated by his boss for a long time. Suddenly one day he jumped from the 21st floor and died on the spot. The last straw that broke the camel's back was the leader's words, "Looking at how stupid you are, why don't you just jump off the building and die cleanly."

2. Personal attacks

Sometimes personal attacks appear in more subtle ways. For example, if you are not working hard at all, is your brain caught in the door? Your thinking is completely rigid, and such personal attacks are not easy to detect. It will make you feel uncomfortable at first, and then you will become numb, and finally you will agree with it.

3. Create anxiety

For example, during this year’s epidemic, all companies are laying off employees, and no one else can find a job and stay at home. Think about it, if the company's cash flow is tight, then you will be the one who gets a pay cut and layoffs. Many people couldn't get in even if they wanted to.

4. Set unachievable goals

If your boss sets goals that are simply impossible to accomplish, and does not provide corresponding human and material support, you will be given corresponding measures if you fail to accomplish them. punishment, that is another type of workplace PUA.

5. A good coat for you

It is said that it is a good coat for you, but in fact it is oppression. For example, Xiao Li, there is a great opportunity here, I value you very much, and then I naturally require you to work overtime 24 hours a day, and you will be taken for granted without overtime pay. Usually this type of PUA will use professionalism and love for work to give you opportunities to practice. As an outer package, it is to get cheap and behave well. It not only squeezes and bullies you, but also makes you have a grateful heart.

So what should we do?

First of all, we need to understand our market value from multiple channels. In order to quickly understand our abilities and value, we need multiple evaluations and standards, and the most objective way is to go to the recruitment website or submit your resume for an interview to see what the salary level is in the same industry.

Secondly, establish workplace boundaries. Establishing a sense of boundaries in the workplace is an important step for professionals and saying no to unreasonable demands. Good people can be bullied if you don't take the initiative to set clear boundaries. Then you will find that others will always cross the line intentionally or unintentionally.

Finally, save a sum of money that can support you when you leave. It can support your life for at least the next six months. When you meet PUA in the workplace, this money will allow you to leave without any worries.

Conclusion

The essence of PUA in the workplace is to completely objectify employees, treat them as human beings, and treat them as parts running the company or as chess pieces on a chessboard. The employees’ bosses are completely disinterested in their hearts. Those who respect employees do not recognize the value they bring. They take it for granted that paying employees should make them work hard, which will naturally not lead to employee growth. So being pua in the workplace is like being cheated of money and sex by a scumbag in love.

Don’t waste your life by being trapped by PUA in the workplace. The sooner you get rid of it, the better. The philosopher Sartre has a famous saying in his play Forbidden City, if you cannot treat the judgments of others correctly, then the judgments of others will be your hell. The so-called independent thinking means not to be based on other people's evaluations and opinions.