1 If anyone stabs my heart, I will tear out their lungs.

2 I am so outstanding that even pigs don’t even look at me.

3 If men and women are not close to each other, how can China have a population of 1.3 billion.

4 Funny Quotes: Actually I am not lazy, I just don’t want to do those unnecessary things.

5 Those people who have a crush on me, how can you be so calm?

6 It’s not scary that she turns the page faster than the book. What’s scary is that she still turns the page over and over.

7 I can skip eating for you, but can you skip drinking water for me?

8 I advise you not to have plastic surgery, it is more reliable to reincarnate as soon as possible!

9 I am a laughing bird, I can’t fly high no matter how high I fly.

10 I heard that getting married is very cheap now. Let’s go get married. I’ll treat you!

11 If I die, I will definitely use my soul to get my heart back from you.

12 Without the existence of the mistress, who will witness your shameless happiness?

13 When you find that your clothes can’t fit, tell yourself that it’s not that you’re fat, but that the clothes have shrunk

14 You can’t satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human

15 Shocking Quotes: If you want to gain, you have to pay. If you want to get 5 million, you still have to spend 2 yuan

16 Don’t ask me to keep saying I love you. If you want to listen, find a repeater.

17 The most charming person is Master Kong, thousands of people follow him every day.

18 Love is like a play, and I want to play a never-ending play with you.

19 Yes, we are all following the rolling of the earth, rolling further and further away.

20 Secret love is a pantomime, but speaking out is a tragedy!

21 I feel so unfortunate to know you in such a big world

22 Girl, your bed is always so busy with people coming and going.

23 If one day I go down. Remember, I'm coming for you.

24 Cigarette in the left hand, wine in the right hand, enjoy the loneliness!

25 Since the space music was replaced by anxiety, I found that there are fewer and fewer people running the hall.

26 Your appearance has seriously affected my life.

27 Do you think it is more handsome horizontally or vertically? Brother can help you!

28 The biggest tragedy in the world is that the radiation did not come, but you were killed by the salt.

29 Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is reserved for the dead. Classic and super cool personality, tell me how your appearance affects my health

1. Your appearance affects my health.

2. I still have less smile and more thinness. Let's continue to live a cool life

3. If your mother is not nice to you, who will be nice to you?

4. What I want to love is not him, what I love is the person who has him. period of time.

5. [You hide from me like a plague, why should I treat you like a lover]

6. It is not easy to uproot your memories from my mind

7. They were the threads that could not be pulled apart throughout my youth, pulling all my emotions and life. Now, these threads have left my life

8. I am not a young man Is your lover because I am too bad or because you are too demanding;

9. Hold your son’s hand and grow old together. At first it was an oath, then it became a responsibility, and then it became a habit.

10. Don’t use your ignorance to challenge my blacklist.

11. Because my temper is too bad, my words are too straightforward and hurtful, and I can’t bend or stretch as a person, so I don’t like myself either.

12. The most annoying thing is that you treat me Say whatever you want, it doesn’t matter.

13. The vicious cycle of expectation brings disappointment

14. Sometimes, I really want to break away from reality and tell myself crazily that everything is fake , but in the end this is just self-deception.

15. A person squatted in the corner, listening to the song quietly. Recalling the past, tears fell quietly, and I realized that I was so fragile!

16. Before you get angry at others, think about your attitude towards others

17. Don’t pay too much attention to appearance, as your ability is not written on your face.

18. Missing you will not make an appointment with myself. It will come suddenly without any warning

19. I generally don’t hold grudges. I signed up on the spot if I didn’t come. I didn’t sign up at that time but stayed instead. Don’t you think you’re lucky?

20. Can you understand that I am the person who loves you most in the world.

21. You are a letter and I am the postman’s last pair of feet stirring up all the dust

22. Don’t be hot and cold to me, I’m afraid I’ll catch a cold. I'm afraid of contracting a disease that makes it difficult to breathe.

23. If there is a sound if I miss you, I don't want it to be a sad cry

24. Care about something deep enough If others touch you, they will think it is a robbery

25. The most beautiful youth is just one or two friends who always accompany you and a lover who cannot be stolen

26. Look After so many joys and sorrows, a sense of security seems to have become a luxury product.

27. I will never be jealous or think about anything. When I am tired, just go with whoever you want.

28. Some things are not incomprehensible. , but even if you understand, you can't forgive.

29. The most stubborn thing is often a person’s heart. You can convince everyone, but you can't convince your own heart.

Thirty. We will always fall in love with some people when we are unguarded. No reason, maybe just a gentle smile.

Thirty-one, I kissed his lips but I am not the one he loves,

Thirty-two, no matter how gorgeous the dial is, it needs a rotating movement.

Thirty-three. The reason why Big Big Wolf can’t eat sheep is because other wolves eat them raw, but this guy insists on eating them cooked

Thirty-four, love is bitter I'm not afraid of being stupid for the last time

35. Do you often act like a fool late at night and don't know why you can't sleep?

Thirty-six. We all like to show off our strength, and we all like to cry and say it’s okay with a smile.

Thirty-seven, don’t have too much involvement with people who don’t understand you, you will get hurt

Thirty-eight, a good man is not allowed to be cool with his wife and is not allowed to let her 儿吃醋吵架必须让步挨揍也要挺住

三十九、异地恋就算两人天天联系也不如生病时候的一杯热开水

四十、我爱你 I just love you.

41. Now I realize that I was wrong at that time, but I know that I have no plan for the future. Funny and willful space to talk about your appearance, it affects my healthy growth

1. What do you think about most when you are standing at the bungee jumping place? Anyway, I want to pee!

2. If you don’t want to go to the canteen, I invite you to go.

3. I wanted to live my life as a poem, sometimes simple, sometimes exquisite. Unexpectedly, life turned out to be like the songs I sang, sometimes unreliable and sometimes out of tune.

4. A wrong hand-holding, a ridiculous decision, creates a devil's soul.

5. It’s sunny outside now. I sat on a chair and wrote down my thoughts after failing the class.

6. When I was a child, every time I finished a test, the teacher would draw a dragon ball on my test paper. If I collected seven dragon balls, I could summon my father to come to school once.

7. I am not your little raccoon, and I cannot have as much fun as you.

8. The three cruelest words in the world are not that I don’t love you or break up with you, but that you get up quickly.

9. Your appearance has affected my healthy growth.

10. Today the police came to see me again, saying that they would arrest me again if I were more handsome.

11. Having long hair that reaches your waist is a big deal, but you have bangs that reach your waist.

12. Those who use smartphones are good kids because they have to go home and charge them every day.

13. I have been in elementary school for ten years and middle school for twelve years. I am rated as the most familiar face in the school. When new teachers come, they always ask me about the inside story of the school

14. Mommy She told me how she treated me when I was rebellious, and how she treated me when she was menopausal.

15. When two people get along well, it’s a story; if they don’t get along well, it’s an accident.

16. As long as everyone turns in a blank together, we can all be the first place, why should we kill each other!

17. Since the beginning of summer, I have been favored by the sun. I told the sun that it must receive both rain and dew, but the sun just didn’t listen. It just shined on me, just on me, and followed me. Same as Bao Zheng.

18. After taking the English listening test, I realized that some words should only be spoken to those who understand them.

19. Just look at me coldly and cutely, and don’t hit me just because you can’t get me.

20. I just slapped my wallet, it was nothing, I just wanted it to swell.

21. Mosquito gave me six bags in one night, but I have not agreed to its pursuit. . .

22. There are two kinds of people I hate the most: one is racial discrimination; the other is black people; and the third is illiterate!

23. Are you collecting the days when you don’t talk to me and want to summon the dragon!

24. I quarreled with my girlfriend and threatened to wait and see, but now we have walked more than ten miles while watching each other.

25. There are too many things on my mind, too heavy and too complicated. They are all old scars with you. Well, let’s not mention them.

26. There was a gecko on the ceiling looking at me, and I didn’t know what to talk to it about. The atmosphere in the whole room became so awkward.

27. When I was young and didn’t know what love was, I was defeated by your big breasts.

28. My mind can be very broad, or it can be very narrow. For example, I can lend you 9 yuan and you don’t have to pay it back, but if you take one of my 9 yuan chicken wings, I'm not done with you.

29. If you can’t have red eyes when we say goodbye, can you let me slap your face red?

30. I hope that what wakes you up every day is not an alarm but a dream. However, my dream is not to have to get up.

31. I accidentally tore off my classmate’s Chinese language book and broke the plane. She said she would kill me in two days, but she waited for more than a year. She didn’t have me in her heart at all. 灬ō

32. You can disagree with me, but I can beat you.

33. Others skip meals when they are angry, but I eat two more bowls of rice when I am angry.

34. Some people say that they have been single for two years, and I say what’s so great about it, since I have been single since I was born.

35. No need to be polite, just throw whatever money you have at me.

36. A little girl once ran up to me and said, Brother, you are so handsome. I rushed up and slapped you twice, nonsense! ! !

37. I have always felt that you have an aura that belongs to nature. Last night I finally stole a key to the zoo for you.

38. Anyone can pretend to be B for a while, but the difficult thing is to pretend to be B all your life

39. Could it be that Yue Lao and Meng Po were once lovers, one took the lead and the other broke it off? The world of mortals.

40. I once had a pair of wings, but instead of flying, I put them in a pot to stew soup.

Funny and shocking signatures for the 2020 Spring Festival

1. Bad guy, you are not qualified to pretend to be awesome, because it is awesome and not yours

2. There is a dog in a distant place. The name is pug

3. The questions you asked are so intelligent, it really makes me tear up.

4. Your advantage is that you are beautiful, but your beauty is a bit unclear< /p>

5. I am like the meat walking in front, and you are the dog chasing behind

6. The so-called meeting with a master in chess is when the mistress meets the main wife, a very harmonious scene

7. You taught me the ruthlessness I have now, and you destroyed the single-mindedness in the past

8. You have nothing to say to me, it is easy to forget you

9. Who has seen everlasting love? I have only seen the love that breaks up once we meet

10. Among laboring men, whoever likes it will take it and see if he has the courage

11. Friends, don’t think I’m honest, it’s just that I’m not good at showing off

12. My elegance is based on your shrewdness

13. Whatever you say can change. Words, but now I can’t say anything to you

14. If the sausage doesn’t love me, leave me, be careful I can’t stand the temptation and fry you

15. I’m sorry, I think it’s the moon He always signed our red line wrong, has he lost his memory?

16. If love is really that simple, why are you so embarrassed?

17. All pain is right Rage due to one's own incompetence

18. Life is a very real thing, and you are not allowed to do whatever you want

19. You are not punished by God now, and it is not the time of Lingchi yet.

20. Every time I fall somewhere, I suspect there should be a pit somewhere

21. It’s not that I want no one except you, it’s just that I don’t want anyone except you< /p>

22. I love you because I am blind, and you love him because you are blind

23. Every time you weigh yourself, you say you are thin, and if you are overweight, say My breasts are bigger

24. I can act cute and coquettish, how dare you, a good girl like me, not to do it

25. You don’t know how good I am, that’s because of you Can't see my heart

26. Urinate anywhere, be careful if a dog sees you, and takes your little penis away

27. Just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd, the first I got a needle eye the next day

28. When I liked you, what the hell were you doing, going on a date with a bitch?

29. Labor is not a ball, you want it When you don't want it, get away.

30. I think your words are farts, and when you are done, they are gone

31. You are like a ball with a string tied to it. , if you go away, I can drag you back

32. Even if I am setting up a street stall, I will not work for you, an evil capitalist.

33. Just go out and run away if you have nothing to do. Puppy, I look down on you

34. Now that you have left, don’t show up again to taint my eyes

35. One day I will stand on these ruins and see A lifetime of glitz and glamor

36. Put away your false face, I just feel sick when I see it

37. I won’t offend others if they don’t offend me, but I’ll poach them if they offend them. Ancestral graves

38. Even if you die, you will die badly. Don’t wait for people to spit on you

39. I’m sorry, I’m afraid I will be strong enough to scare you in the future

40. I am just a commoner (艹明), born to sell (dream)