Recently, I met my girlfriend’s best friend, and I discovered that she is also a person with deep self-esteem, and my girlfriend also agreed with my statement. In fact, my girlfriend’s best friend is a government wife with a good figure and appearance. Why does she still have such low self-esteem?
I heard from my girlfriend that her best friend has been living with low self-esteem because her family of origin was not good.
In fact, we don’t need to talk about the “original family” at all, saying that “unfortunate people spend their whole lives healing their childhoods.” If we want to blame, we can only blame ourselves for not being strong enough and confident in our hearts.
As I said in an article I wrote before, "Don't attribute your failures to your family of origin": For those immature people, they can always find some reasons to escape. Some shortcoming or misfortune in themselves.
There is no way for misfortunes and blessings, but people call for it by themselves; their destiny is established by themselves, and blessings are sought by themselves!
People who have low self-esteem should learn more about the law of self-confidence, strive to transcend low self-esteem, and strive to become a confident and powerful person.
How to become confident? We might as well take a look at where the strong man's self-confidence comes from.
In fact, a person’s inner self-confidence mainly comes from the following three things.
1. Self-awareness of life;
As the old saying goes: He who knows himself is wise.
It can be seen that only those who truly have self-awareness can be regarded as wise. Zuo is clever and wise.
If a person has intelligence in his heart and wisdom in his mind, he can naturally face life calmly and feel confident from the bottom of his heart.
So, where does a person’s “self-awareness” come from?
In fact, it comes from what you think, see and hear in daily life, and comes from the process of shaping a person's temperament and values.
This is what people often say: your temperament hides the road you have traveled, the books you have read and the people you have loved.
If we use the words of the ancients, it is: reading thousands of books is not as good as traveling thousands of miles; traveling thousands of miles is not as good as reading countless people; reading countless people is not as good as showing the way by a famous teacher, and it is better to realize it yourself than reading the way by a famous teacher.
Zeng Guofan also specifically came up with the meaning of "ming" in life in "Ting Jing - Ming Qiang Chapter". He said: Taking on big things lies in the word Ming Qiang.
He also divided "Ming" into two categories: cleverness and shrewdness.
Brilliance comes from innateness, while shrewdness comes from continuous learning and inquiry. It is the kind of hard work that produces genius.
In "The Doctrine of the Mean", this kind of "shrewdness" is summed up in one sentence: learn it eruditely, interrogate it, think carefully, discern it clearly, and practice it sincerely.
He also said that if you can really do this, you can definitely become smart even if you are born stupid, and you can become strong even if you are born weak.
If we understand what is said above, strive to make ourselves grow and progress, and then know how much we weigh, and have a certain degree of self-knowledge, then we can feel at ease and calm in our hearts, and we can naturally express ourselves. Move yourself to self-confidence from the bottom of your heart, and then transcend your inferiority complex.
2. A self-improvement attitude towards life;
The "Book of Changes" says: Heaven moves vigorously, and a gentleman strives for self-improvement.
Thousands of years have passed, and the Chinese nation has experienced countless hardships and still can stand proudly among the nations of the world because the spirit of self-improvement and perseverance flows in our blood.
And this is also the source of strong national self-confidence for all our Chinese people.
This is true for countries and nations, and it is also true for individuals: the self-confidence of each of us actually comes from our own past experiences and from the unchanging attitude towards self-improvement in life.
If we have achieved many achievements and brilliance in study, work and life in the past, and look at the pile of honors and certificates in front of us, wouldn’t we be proud of ourselves and full of confidence in the future? ?
The road we have traveled before will not be in vain; the hardships we have endured before will not be in vain. We now are grateful to ourselves for working hard in the past; we in the future will definitely be grateful to ourselves for working hard now.
Just like life does not happen out of thin air, neither does our self-confidence.
When we look back at the road to self-improvement we have taken in the past, although it is full of hardships and sadness, we will feel relieved when we survive it, and we will become more confident and determined that our choices will not be the same. wrong.
3. Self-disciplined life habits;
Ask you a question: If you are a person who combines diligence and self-discipline, getting up early and going to bed early, loving reading, insisting on exercise, healthy living, etc. As a person who is accustomed to being excellent, do you still have no self-confidence?
As Franklin said: I have never seen an early, diligent, cautious, and honest person complain about his bad luck; good character, good habits, and a strong will will not be assumed. defeated by fate.
As the saying goes: Thoughts determine destiny, and character determines destiny.
In fact, in the final analysis, habits are the key to life.
Because habits will subtly affect your personality, then affect your thoughts, and finally affect your life.
As Professor Zeng Shiqiang, a master of Chinese studies, said:
As we are similar in nature, everyone’s personality is actually similar. Everything we do is at the mercy of habits. It is habits that determine your destiny, not your character.
William James, the father of psychology, also said: "Our life is nothing but a synthesis of habits." In fact, the life of each of us is the sum of countless habits.
If we develop many self-disciplined life habits, we will become better and better invisibly, and then become more and more confident in our lives.
For example, if we have the habit of persisting in exercising, we will be confident in our health and future, and we will no longer be anxious and uneasy about diseases.
If we have the habit of taking the initiative to read and study, we can broaden our horizons, improve our thinking, improve our outlook, think clearly about many life problems, and know our mission in life. Naturally, we will be more open-minded, optimistic, positive and confident.
So, if we want to gain a confident life, we must start from now on to develop self-disciplined life habits that make ourselves better and better, be a friend of time, and be a long-termist.
As Laozi said in the Tao Te Ching: Difficult things in the world must be done with ease; great things in the world must be done with detail.
When we develop good habits and do small and easy things well, over time, big and difficult things will naturally fall into place, and people's self-confidence will continue to increase in the process of doing things!