It is impossible to be clean and tidy. Once you have established an intimate relationship with someone, whether that person is a man or a woman, they will always leave traces and memories in your heart. It’s just that Some people choose to let go of the past, pack up and start a new life, while some people are still stuck in the past and cannot get out of it, suffering deeply from it.

The speed and extent to which a boy forgets his ex (first love) actually mainly depends on how much he invests in the relationship. We have talked about this issue more than once in previous articles. Why do boys generally have first love complex? Because the first heartbeat and love in life is so beautiful, and the sincerity shown to Akagi is pure, passionate, and unreserved, which is really unforgettable; why can't boys let go of the person they have loved deeply and talked to for a long time? ex? Because he had invested a lot of time, energy, money and patience into this relationship, the cost was high and it would be difficult to replicate it in the short term.

Pain is only painful when it happens to you. Only when you are serious, devoted, and dedicated will your feelings be truly impressive and difficult to let go. Otherwise, it will be like listening to other people’s stories, and you will never be able to enter. From this perspective, as long as a boy is invested, and this investment is not insignificant to him, then he will not completely forget his ex (first love).

There are only two situations where he has forgotten everything. Either he has lost his memory, or his investment in this relationship has no impact on him. In other words, he gets nothing from you. It doesn’t take any effort, and it’s no pity to lose you. For example, if you meet a scumbag and you think you’ve met true love, you don’t have to chase yourself and just send him to him. He accepts it and treats it like a kidney. When you argue, you ask him to reason. , he rushed to the next target without looking back. For such a boy, you may not even be considered an ex.

So since boys can’t forget their ex (first love) (only situations where they are truly invested are discussed here), what are they thinking about?

First, he will compare. This comparison may be unconscious, but many times thoughts like this will pop up suddenly - "She has a much better temper than my ex", "She doesn't care about hygiene, which is not like my ex", "She is really not as good as me" "My ex will make money" and so on. You must know that people are creatures that are easily influenced, especially close people. The longer you get along, your preferences, opinions, personality, tastes, etc. will be subtly affected, even if you deliberately think about it. If you forget, your habits will also help you remember. Therefore, the longer he and his ex (first love) run in, the more inappropriate comparisons will appear in his mind due to differences.

In terms of comparison, if his last relationship brought him more positive energy than negative energy, then he may subconsciously beautify and exaggerate some of the advantages of his ex, while ignoring some of her This is not absolute, but if you don’t get along well at the beginning and often quarrel, then it is not ruled out that boys will have such thoughts. This is also normal. What you don’t get is always better than what you get. , just like what Zhang Ailing said: Maybe every man has had two women like this, at least two. Marry a red rose, and over time, the red one will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, while the white one will still be the bright moonlight in front of the window; marry a white rose, and the white one will become a grain of rice stuck on the clothes, but the red one will become A cinnabar mole on the heart.

Once he has enjoyed the benefits brought by his ex in certain aspects, his discomfort will be more or less reflected in your relationship. For example, his ex’s family background can provide him with It will bring benefits to his career and development prospects, so now, you cannot provide this kind of help, and he needs to rely on himself. When he is not going so well, he will think of his ex; for another example, his ex is good at communication, and every time You can show weakness and be reasonable in a quarrel, but you have a bad temper and neither of you wants to bow your head. Then when you quarrel, he will also think of his ex, but it is not without leeway. The reason why they broke up is explained. There are always things that need to be adjusted and corrected in the running-in method, such as companionship, thoughtfulness, etc. that his ex cannot give him. You have to give him more in order to meet his needs and dilute the influence of his ex on him.

Secondly, he will weigh.

When do boys usually think of their ex? Do you even want to get back together? Only when he is having a bad life will he think of your goodness. Just imagine, after a boy breaks up, his life is a mess, and his new girlfriend is aggressive and difficult to take care of. Wouldn't he miss you in the dead of night? That caring and trouble-free ex-girlfriend?

Adult relationships no longer include only love, but also many other factors, one of which is very important is the matching of values. There is a famous saying that goes like this - men do not care about loyalty. It just depends on whether the stakes of betrayal are high enough. People are profit-seeking. If a relationship really cannot bring any benefits, and even the emotions are in a state of being depleted, then it is normal to want to break up.

When the relationship can still be maintained, is not sweet, but has not encountered any storms, it may not necessarily break up. It may be just weighing and hesitating, but not really making up its mind, but if it is Better choices, with better alternatives, the chances of breaking up will be greatly increased - for example, if your relationship weakens, you may not break up, but if a new love appears, the breakup will be faster; for example, if your ex returns, Sometimes he may not break up with his new love, but if his ex reveals his neediness, he may break up with his new love and go back to his ex.

So, in general, boys will never completely forget someone they have truly loved, but not forgetting does not mean they will look back. Not forgetting and wanting to look back are two different things. The more mature a boy is, the more responsible he is for his own choices. Once he chooses to enter a relationship, he will be loyal to the relationship.

We don’t want to meet a current person who is disconnected from his ex, so we should also be such a qualified ex. Not disturbing is the basic etiquette after knowing that the other person has entered a new relationship.

Love is an ability that needs to be learned.